Good morning, and happy Friday! This week’s winners didn’t really lend themselves to a runoff vote, so we’re looking at two new contestants. Today’s Shitbox Showdown comes to you from a very specific part of the country, and I’ll explain why in a minute.
Yesterday’s silly off-roaders brought out the little kid in a lot of you, and I was glad to see it. I mean, “dune buggy” and “monster truck” are both just such joyous terms that you can’t help but smile when you think about them, even if the actual vehicles don’t measure up to your imagination.
But there always has to be a winner, and yesterday it was no contest: the Baja Bug ran away with it. And I have to agree. The truck would be an extremely entertaining way to waste a bunch of gasoline in an afternoon, but I don’t want to own, or park, the damn thing.
Now then: For family reasons I won’t get into here, Shitbox Showdown’s international offices will be pulling up stakes this summer and moving across the country, likely to somewhere in the great state of Maryland. Don’t worry, though; you’ll still get the same high-quality shitboxes you’ve become accustomed to, delivered fresh to your browser each morning. Since I’ve featured so many vehicles from here in Portland, I thought it would be fun to see what I could find in what will be my new stomping ground.
The answer: Not a whole hell of a lot. Clearly, cheap and interesting cars aren’t going to just fall from the sky there like they do here (that’s why Portland has so many potholes, FYI). I’ll be looking elsewhere a lot of the time, I think. These two did catch my eye, but please remember when you look at them that the standard we strive for here is compelling cars to write and read about, not necessarily good cars – or good bargains. Here they are.
1970 Pontiac Catalina wagon – $4,200
Engine/drivetrain: 400 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Stevensville, MD
Odometer reading: 45,000 miles
Operational status: Technically runs and drives, but I wouldn’t advise it
Here we have a car for sale on an island, that’s named after a different island, and is damn near as big as some islands. Downsizing wasn’t a thing yet in 1970, and cars like GM’s massive B-body station wagons were the kings of the road. It’s long, wide, heavy, and has absolutely massive presence, even in this diminished condition. Pontiac’s Catalina takes its name, ironically, from a place you can’t really drive cars at all. Or maybe a salad dressing. Or is the salad dressing named after the car? Anyway, it’s big, and it has a cool name.
This was still back when GM’s divisions all used their own engines, rather the one-size-fits-all “corporate” engines we’ve grown accustomed to seeing since the late ’70s. This is, therefore, a Pontiac 400 V8, equipped with a two-barrel Rochester carburetor, putting out 290 horsepower by the old SAE gross measurement, meaning without any accessories attached, just the bare engine. It has had the carb rebuilt, and runs just fine, though the seller notes that it hasn’t been started in a few months. It also has a rebuilt Turbo 400 transmission, so no worries there. However, the fuel tank is rusted out, and this gigantic engine is currently being fed by a red plastic gas can under the hood – not a long-term viable, or safe, method. A new fuel tank is included, along with mounting straps.
This big green wagon has quite a colorful past: It sat in some water (no one is saying how much) through a hurricane, was scrapped, then rescued from the junkyard by a mechanic who got it running and driving again, and sold it to the current owner, who clearly is in over their head a little bit. It needs some rust repair underneath, including frame repair.
The interior worries me some. Without knowing how deep the water was it sat in, we can’t know how wet it got in there, if at all. And this is the only photo we get of the inside – not much to go on. Between the rust and the unknowns, I think this might make a better parts car than anything, but the market would be pretty small; you’d have to find someone else looking to restore a ’70 Catalina.
1986 Mercedes-Benz 190D 2.5 – $4,300
Engine/drivetrain: 2.5 liter overhead cam diesel inline 5, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Chestertown, MD
Odometer reading: 197,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
This baby Benz I have more hope for. Over-engineered, carefully built, and powered by one of those unstoppable Mercedes diesels, the 190D is a car from a time when the three-pointed star hood ornament actually meant something, not just an inflated price tag and some purchased status. It’s the smallest and least expensive Mercedes from the time, and these diesels get good mileage, but don’t call it an “economy car.”
About that diesel engine: It’s no fire-breather, only making about 90 horsepower. But it will keep chugging along for hundreds of thousands of miles. This one, at just shy of 200,000 miles, is just getting started. It’s backed by a four-speed automatic, also with an excellent reputation. The seller says it runs and drives great, everything works, and the air conditioning has been updated to R134a and works great.
Inside, it’s an ’80s Mercedes, which means sturdy but comfortable. The M-B Tex upholstery looks fine, of course; it would take an extinction-level event to damage that stuff. The seller has installed an aftermarket amp for the stereo, but they’re keeping it. I’ve never understood why people do that. Stereo stuff just isn’t that valuable; just leave it in the car and buy new a new amp for your next car.
I really admire these Bruno Sacco-styled Mercedes. They’re such clean, timeless designs. This one is in good shape, with only a little dent in one door and some faded paint, but no rust. It’s a good color, too.
The East Coast is going to be an adjustment in a lot of ways, but the lack of weird cars is going to sting a bit. No more scruffy Volvo 240s on every corner, or derelict Alfa Junior Zagatos in repair shop lots, or Exner-era Dodges in red primer hauling ass down the freeway. I won’t see the crazy old Russian guy who daily-drives his two pristine Lada sedans, or spot random Peugeot 505 wagons parked outside antique stores. Or maybe I’m wrong; maybe I’ll find a whole new crop of cool cars. But the classified listings aren’t promising. These two are interesting, at least. Which one speaks to you?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
When I was fresh out of high school I would go to the auctions every Thursday to drive cars through the lines. It was a little extra money in my pocket and I got to check out a bunch of cars. It seemed like every Mercedes with this body style wouldn’t go into reverse for some reason. Every time I see one, my mind automatically goes right back to pushing one out of it’s parking space on the auction lot. Not sure if that was a common with these or just what you get when you go to crappy mostly beater car auctions like that one.
I voted Benz, but am slightly conflicted on it. When I was very little, my parents had a Catalina wagon with the 455ci V8, and I absolutely adored riding in the rear-facing backseat. Years later, my parents had a series of Mercedes Benzes, all of which I loved to ride in and drive. While nostalgic me wants the Catalina because big V8 and classic, quirky styling, the 190D is actually a car I would want to live with. I’d also add that the 2.5L diesel responds well to mods – it won’t be a power house, but it can certainly be fun to drive.
The Catalina would be friggin awesome to drive around town, but nope, too much work. I’ll take the 190D
Bit of a rollercoaster. I came all-in to vote for the 190D. Then reading the description of the Pontiac, I thought the MB would be a disaster (thinking the wet spot under the car was due to its own fluids hydrating the pavement) – but, instead, it’s a dream. All for a few coin to get yourself a modern head unit that you could even have a fold-out screen and feel like you’ve got something modern whilst still driving a nice old Benz.
I hate you so much, Mark. My hopes were sky high on the Catalina. Even when I saw no AC on it, and that’s usually a deal breaker. Body rust? I can handle that! I love this wagon!
Sitting in water? Serious frame rust?
Why did you do this to me Mark? I thought we were friends? You just took my aspirations and just stomped them to bits.
Sigh.
Voted Mercedes…
Gawd, I wanted to choose the Pontiac, but flood and rust = CP. Still would consider as a lawn ornament for the greenhouse alone.
Does the Pontiac Catalina come with a Gretsch of the same name? No? Then, the 190, please.
A beautiful car that only needs the Euro-spec headlights to bring it back to its glorious Bruno Sacco-ness.
The oil-burner will run forever. It’s even possible the engine will outlast the MB-Tex, and few things on Earth will do that.
I’m not in a hurry.
In a post-apocalyptic future with no petroleum, it would be one of the few cars you could still fuel. Not only can the engine run on a mixture of kerosene, ATF, used engine oil, and other crap, you can make biodiesel out of seed oils to run it. Mechanical-injection turbodiesels are generally accepting of whatever crap you can throw in it that will explode at a high enough pressure.
You could probably use hog fat if’n you tried hard enough. You just need to kill you’m 30-50 feral hogs…
Not saying “not good cars” then showing a 190. No ma’am.
Obviously that’s what I chose, but damn that’s a cool looking wagon.
This is the easiest one in ages. 190 by a ton.
190, please.
That’s an easy one: I don’t have the Tavarish or Bolian genes and have no desire to meddle with a previously-flooded car.
The eastern shore?? Oh no 😮 At least civilization won’t be too far away.
I’m going with the Mercedes. I will pick a diesel Benz in good condition over most other vehicles.
Also, that Pontiac should probably be scrapped. I am not concerned about its past flood, but I am concerned about the rust. The ad shows a picture of the undercarriage that shows multiple rust holes. It is also a terrible sign that the original gas tank and associated mounting hardware have rotted away, which the ad also mentions. Whoever “rescued” it from the junkyard made a mistake. This car makes me think of the book Pet Sematary; sometimes dead is better.
Much as I think it would be a hoot to cruise around in that Poncho paddy wagon, I’m going to say no the Submariner’s long roof and go with the slow motion Merc, today.
I want to save the wagon, but the bottom side being mostly rust is going to stop me. I am no David.
Former 300 SDL owner here. These cars were designed to be daily’d on the Autobahn at top speed. I bought mine at over 200k miles on the odometer, and literally put hundreds of hours on it at triple digit speeds on Texas backroads. It won’t get there very quickly, but it can stay at those speeds without old components failing, and for what it is, its cornering capabilities aren’t at all bad.
If I ever get a place to horde a bunch of cars, I’d like to get another. And a manual 190D or 240D would also be on a list of cars I’d like to own.
For the price, this particular 190D, even if it is an automatic, looks like a good deal.
If you want more grunt, installing larger diameter injector pump threads could help get it. I suspect that 190D’s engine could handle 200 horsepower on stock internals.
As a current owner of a 300SDL with 313k miles, I can confirm these cars are excellent cruisers at speed. They’re designed to just eat the highway.
Before swapping out to a taller rear-end, mine did about 120 mph, stock. This was with over 200k on the odometer. If given the opportunity, I’m certain it could have maintained it for a full tank of fuel without a hiccup.
0-60 mph was about 11-12 seconds, depending upon weather conditions and the quality of the fuel in the tank. Not fast, but it was very usable. The 30+ mph acceleration and highway passing acceleration was comparable to a car that could do 0-60 mph in 8 seconds though, it’s just that the take-off is glacial.
Mine is running a complete 560SEL rear end (with the appropriate speedo in the dash). The previous owner’s son has informed me it planes out north of 150mph. (the family are long time friends, I went to high school with the sons and used to ride around in this car. Their pops decided to downsize his fleet in retirement, so I scooped it).
Aspirations include an upgraded injection pump, a bit bigger turbo with an intercooler, and a ZF 8HP swap to address the old 4speed slushbox.
That engine made only 149 horsepower stock, so yours probably already has upgrades. Although, with no added parts to the engine, and an adjustment, I’ve read the stock pump and threads can allow upwards of 175 horsepower.
With the taller rear-end from a V8-gasoline Benz, a partial grille block and some extra underbody paneling made of plastic, mine was able to hit 130 mph. The engine was stock, other than a Frybrid kit to run it on waste fryer oil. I wanted to eventually upgrade the injector pump for more power, but I never so much as adjusted it.
It’s a stock unit. As I’m up in Canada, I’m guessing he had the advantage of cool fall air to bump up the power.
I’m aiming for a reasonable 300ish whp with the upgrades. Any further than that and I’ll have to build the motor, may as well swap an OM606 at that point.
I absolutely loved my SDs, the D, and my TD: there were clear procedures for everydamnthing. But, after 20 years with them, and the 2nd or 3rd time you fix the aux water pump or blower motor, it’s time to move on. I loved smelling the exhaust from the fuel I made, but that era is over for me as I’m not paying diesel prices—and you pretty much have to pay to get used veggie oil now
I just left a comment on the 2.5L being mod-friendly. It doesn’t take a lot to double that 90hp, which makes the car quick enough for normal driving and also allows for more spirited driving.
My folks had a 300TD that had been tuned by a local independent Mercedes/BMW mechanic. I don’t know what the mechanic had done to it, but my parents drove it like it was just a stock example. The first time I drove it, right after getting my license, I discovered that hammering the throttle resulted in a lot of noise, heavy turbo lag, and then melted rear tires. The torque was insane, and also made the car a bit scary to drive in the rain. When asked, my dad said the mechanic told him it probably made around 275hp, but probably double that in torque. The shocking part was that the car made it to around 380,000 miles before it scattered the transmission all over the road and my parents decided to scrap it. The MB-Tex still looked almost new…
I thought this was going to be a tough choice…but then I saw the bit about the Pontiac spending an unknown amount of time sitting in water of an unknown depth. And that it needed rust repair. I’ll never buy a rusty car again, and I love me a good indestructible Mercedes diesel. So Benz it is.
“It needs some rust repair underneath, including frame repair.”
I’m out, Benz it is.
Yep! Was leaning ginormous wagon until I got to that part.
I didn’t even look at the Benz. There’s nothing wrong with that Catalina that can’t be fixed.
Gimme the wagon
Water immersion is an immediate hard pass. Even on a ’70 where the only electrics were the doors and tail lights.
I was out on the Catalina as soon as you said it had been flooded. Nope. You could spend thousands of dollars or many hours fixing the rust only still to have a smelly basket case of a car. That entry level Mercedes, on the other hand, will never go out of style and will never stop chugging along at its leisurely pace. Gimme the 190D.
I hate rust, but I hate diesel more than anything under the sun. So it’s the Pontiac for me.
Wanted to vote big, giant, dinosaur wagon. But no, this one is too far gone. And probably smells like ass. (Hurricanes do that.)
But my favorite uncle had this exact Benz, new. Identical. Today the choice is a no brainer. YMMV
I want to love the Catalina – but it’s beyond my abilities to get it up and safely running.
Make mine the Mercedes.
My dad replaced his 240D with a 190D years ago. It speaks volumes that the meager 90hp in the 190 with the auto felt substantially peppier than the 240 manual.
One more cylinder made a huge difference from the @68hp 240D
yay I made the first vote 😀