The Silent But Deadly Staff Member: Tales From The Slack

Talesslack Toots Top
ADVERTISEMENT

We are all adults here. We all know that gas is just a regular part of life. The human gas, not the car-powering kind, to be clear. I would not judge another person for their emissions, assuming they tried not to do them in enclosed spaces.

This is the plus side of working on the Internet. I spend most of my day, alone, in my office. The only people I regularly see in person are my wife and my daughter.

If someone were to be passing gas I wouldn’t know about it unless they talked about it, but this is Tales from the Slack so let’s get into it.

It all started innocently enough. I had to pop out in the morning to take my daughter to get her annual checkup and I wanted to let everyone know how she was doing, since my nice coworkers asked:

Img 2252

In case anyone gets pedantic, weight has nothing to do with an engine being “square.” To be square it has to have the same bore and stroke.

This brought a great question out, though. What type of engine would all of us be?

Img 2253

K-Jet is not an energy drink:

Img 2254

My vote is for the Peugeot 505!

Img 2255

Busso V6 is a good call. Whenever I see an Alfa 164 I shut the hell up and listen. But Peter had a question. What would Peter, our wonderful and mostly in-the-background Editorial Production Manager be?

Img 2256

Lol.

Img 2257

Img 2258

That’s a big V8, the biggest Cadillac ever offered. In pre-emissions guise, it put out 400 horsepower and 550 lb-ft of earth-turning, log-pulling torque. However, the malaise was strong, and by 1976 the engine was apparently only good for 190 horses. Setting up this great joke:

Img 2259

LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Peter always has the best jokes.

About the Author

View All My Posts

14 thoughts on “The Silent But Deadly Staff Member: Tales From The Slack

  1. Yes Adrian, the Caddy 500s can be woken up quite easily.
    At least, they could when you could still find them in junkyards.

    I have a friend that’s obsessed with them.

  2. Got to say probably an old hit or miss motor. Still running after 60 years. Simple upkeep beer and food. Steady but lacking in power. One wanted the world over for cheap power, but kept outside due to noxious fumes.

  3. I’m pretty sure I am a BMW M10 4-banger. Good bottom end, temperamental head, great for its time but now still running but a bit obsolete.

    1. After all he subjected himself to in Detroit him moving to California is like Superman landing on earth. He should be invincible out there.

      1. But in Detroit DT ran on dirty diesel now in California he has to run on purified vegetable oil with 50% ethanol added. An old motor can’t run on California pot and dreams.

  4. “probably the only engine you can measure the piston speed with a stopwatch”

    I thought the British were ardent admirers of tickover, or is my understanding on this point, as on so many others, several decades behind the times?

  5. hardigree: 2JZ-GE, good old reliable that knows how to have fun occasionally
    torch: 13B, small, compact, fragile on its own yet shrugs off abuse, and a lot of fun
    mercedes, 2 cyl diesel motorcycle engine, very weird but oh so cool

Leave a Reply