This week’s Tales From The Slack is going to be a bit of a grab-bag of behind-the-scenes weirdness and deep, painful glimpses into how this delicious automotive sausage is made for you, hot and fresh, every day. We have quite a variety of notable things going on, including some AI experimentation, some philosophizing about jerkin’ it, a weird word that Thomas likes to use, and more! Lots more, if you’re okay with “lots” being “some.” Let’s get into it so you can get that special hit of members-only dopamine that makes all of this worthwhile.
I think we’ll start with the AI experiment, because I find it kind of fascinating. We’ll never use AI to write any articles here at the Autopian, primarily because AI has no idea what the hell it’s saying and as such has no idea if the things it says are, you know, true. That’s also at the root of why we can’t use AI for any real images of cars that actually exist, because AI has no idea what actually exists, so if it’s a specific car, it can’t be relied upon, and we usually want to show you specific cars.
Sometimes, though, AI can be a handy tool to get started with for cars that don’t have to be, you know, real, like what we used for our mockups of the Apple car that never was, or when we need to fill in a background hole or gap using Photoshop’s new generative fill feature.
Just for shits and, where available, giggles, Peter decided to try it out to see how it would fill in the rest of the new Toyota 4Runner from the teaser image of its tailgate:
I mean, on the one hand, that’s wildly impressive! That looks a hell of a lot like a plausible truck! On the downside, a 4Runner isn’t a pickup truck. This right here shows the biggest issue with AI: it’s an idiot that doesn’t know anything about anything. But, it’s still impressive.
Let’s see what other fascinating things we learned this week; here’s one relating to the Sport of Kings, naming cars:
I’m pretty sure that’s not at all what Ford wants “Tremor” to be associated with. Maybe the Kevin Bacon angle is the best one:
Worms, that’s what sells cars, dangerous worms!
I think my favorite interaction this week may be this one, though:
I’d send Matt to talk to HR, but we decided Mercedes would be our HR rep, so glad that’s taken care of. Also, he’s not exactly wrong. I think this was all in reference to that awful CNN column defecating upon stick shifts that we lambasted. We also noticed something about the author of that CNN post:
Looks like someone has been having some fun with Paul’s Wikipedia page there. I promise it wasn’t us! We’re not qualified to make such certifications.
Oh, and if you were ever wondering about our policies regarding the display or removal of the American flag in a topshot, even subtly, I hope this helps:
If the flag is in the topshot, then the flag STAYS in the topshot. These colors, much like half the cars in my fleet, don’t run.
Moving on to less-American things, let’s look at the confusion a Brit-Canadian word wreaked upon us:
Thomas is the only person I’ve ever heard use the word “lairy.” I’m okay with using the occasional delightfully obscure word, but I think we should link to the definitions, because let’s be honest, I think a good chunk of our audience has no idea what the fudge “lairy” means. Peter didn’t! And, even looking up the definition only partially helped:
I like how we’re down to the third definition of “lairy” here. But, screw it, that’s the man’s voice, and it’s plenty lairy. Never hurts to learn more words. They’re free!
As always, it’s amazing to me that we get this thing moving every day. Somehow, we do, and I want to thank each and every one of you for joining in on it.
Lairily.
I am shocked David knows of Tremors.
Good good movie: A movie whose producers set out to make something great and succeeded.
Bad good movie: A movie whose producers set out to make something great or profound and failed, badly.
Bad bad movie: Just a terrible movie in all respects.
Good bad movie*: A movie whose producers set out to make something merely entertaining or commercial and stumbled upon greatness.
Tremors is the good bad movie.
*Hat tip to George Orwell who came up with the idea of good bad books. The concept can probably be applied to cars, too?
Wouldn’t Tremor be a better fit as a toned down version of a flagship truck named T-Rex? If your flagship is named Raptor, then maybe the toned down version should be named Clever Girl?
“I’d send Matt to talk to HR, but we decided Mercedes would be our HR rep, so glad that’s taken care of.”
THAT’S enough to get you a talking to from HR? Who wrote your guidelines, Anthony Comstock? Is poor Matt now going to be sent off to Kellog’s Sanitarium for shock treatment?
I mean you literally say you want to, and I quote, “see the rest of the truck.” AI is definitely brainless but usually in a “okay George, whatever you say George, you can count on me George” kind of way.
I was going to say…I wonder how it would’ve done if you said “SUV” again instead of “truck”.
If someone says “truck” to me, the smallest think I think of is still a pickup. Even if some SUVs are body-on-frame, I still would—
(Note: commenter’s brain broke when wondering how they would refer to an Escalade, Navigator, Expedition, etc. in short if they owned one. “Get in the truck”? No, gives it more credit than it deserves. “Get in the van”? No, only full-size vans and maybe minivans get that privilege. “Get in the car”? You say “car”, I think sedan, hatchback, crossover, or small SUV.
I’m gonna go lie down for a while…)
Being a member of this club is worth it for these posts (article and comments). Besides, I only joined, to paraphrase Groucho, because the club wouldn’t have me.
I wonder if David will know who Groucho is and his well-known to the aged quote.
I’m just impressed that David actually knows a pop culture reference! David knowing that sandworms are attracted to rhythmic patterns was not on my bonho card for today.
I think Jeremy Clarkson used to describe cars’ handling characteristics as “lairy” back in the day, which is probably where I learned it.
Look at those two fops over there, lairy Moe and Curly.
I’m disappointed that “lairy” doesn’t mean “similar to a bad guy’s hideout.”
“Jeff, I love what you’ve done with your basement, but the giant conference table and the pool of live sharks makes it feel kinda lairy, you know?”
Don’t diss the fish. They cost One Meeeellion Dollars.
I myself was stunned to see a fishing Youtuber use the word “fishy” in what has to be the original intentional meaning the other day. “That spot definitely looks fishy. Let’s toss the lure over there.”
I don’t think AI could even think of some of the shit Torch comes up with, and would be far too sensible to do any of the crazy shit DT gets into. Seriously, AI would be absolute shit at writing a true Torchinsky cars for aliens or DT cross country rusty jeep road trip story.
Someone should train a language model on Jason’s body of work. That may prevent a successful robot uprising.
Pretty sure the AI would have a stroke of you did that.
Which is why we absolutely should.
I’m not proud of myself but Ford Ranger Parkinsons gave me the biggest laugh I’ve had all week.
What would happen to the site if the AI learn how to love rust?
Always figured “Tremor” dated from the ’00s when the awesomeness that was Quake was peaking, and Ford was like “That’s badass…what’s a vehicle sounding riff on it?” It just took longer than Ford expected to actually fit it to something.
As someone who has an essential tremor…hadn’t made the connection before, will never be able to think of anything else again.
Ditto. Dammit.
So would a Honda motorcycle with good shifting and torque steer be therefore described as Grom, snick and lairy?