Jason’s Arm Is More Juiced Than Mark McGwire In 1998

Slack Tales Arm Juice
ADVERTISEMENT

So Jason ended up in the hospital again at the end of the month to deal with a wonky arm tube that was put in during his life-saving aortic surgery. It became infected and needed to be replaced because the result of his heart getting infected was that he might suddenly die.

Jason thought this would take a day or two for some unknown reason. It took a week. In exchange for letting him go home, Jason has to frequently “juice” his arm with antibiotics and shit so he can live long enough to do more birthday drawings.

Fair warning. If you are squeamish I’m going to have a more thorough version of this later on, and your reward for reading it will be a hilarious photoshop from Peter. In the interim, here’s a not-so-gross explanation of what is happening to Jason:

Img 3863

Img 3864

So, in addition to being out for about a week in the hospital (where Jason kept writing!), Jason will pop out for a bit to deal with all of this:

Kiwi Crate Arms

You should feel a little bad for Jason because this has been an ordeal, but Jason also loves telling people he’s going to juice his arms. It clearly makes him so happy.

Like this:

Img 3861 2

and:

Img 3859 2

and:

Img 3860 2

and:

Img 3858 2

and:

Img 3857 2

and:

Img 3862 2

And this is just a sampling!

Ok, here’s the good (terrible) stuff:

Img 3865

Yikes, here’s a photo:

Jason Arm Small

And here’s a palette cleanser:

Needhelp

Img 3868 Img 3867

Have a great weekend!

About the Author

View All My Posts

25 thoughts on “Jason’s Arm Is More Juiced Than Mark McGwire In 1998

  1. Jason is the basic input to complete insanity here. I have no idea why VWs matter, not do I read old brochures. Pump the hell outa the arm, otherwise we might get serious.
    Get better Jason.

  2. Jason is the basic input to complete insanity here. I have no idea why VWs matter, not do I read old brochures. Pump the hell outa the arm, otherwise we might get serious.
    Get better Jason.

  3. Re: How it feels when they pull it out… Two weeks ago, a visiting nurse came to my house and removed the PICC line that I had been using for similar reasons for six weeks. Despite the disturbing mental image of the process, in reality there was no sensation at all. I averted my eyes and then saw the removed line laying on the table out of my peripheral vision. Apply pressure on the hole where it was inserted for two minutes, stick on a small bandage and Bob’s Your Uncle.

    The best part is being able to shower again without having to wear a protective vinyl glove that looks like it would be appropriate for reaching up an elephant’s ass to clear out whatever was blocking it.

    Best wishes!

    1. Yeah, my wife has had two PICC lines in the past ten months. The removal of the first one surprised the hell out of me. Like you said, she didn’t really feel it, and neither of us expected it to be nearly three feet long. I hadn’t seen it being put in, so I’d expected it to be maybe six or eight inches. She averted her eyes both during installation and removal, which was probably wise.

  4. Re: How it feels when they pull it out… Two weeks ago, a visiting nurse came to my house and removed the PICC line that I had been using for similar reasons for six weeks. Despite the disturbing mental image of the process, in reality there was no sensation at all. I averted my eyes and then saw the removed line laying on the table out of my peripheral vision. Apply pressure on the hole where it was inserted for two minutes, stick on a small bandage and Bob’s Your Uncle.

    The best part is being able to shower again without having to wear a protective vinyl glove that looks like it would be appropriate for reaching up an elephant’s ass to clear out whatever was blocking it.

    Best wishes!

    1. Yeah, my wife has had two PICC lines in the past ten months. The removal of the first one surprised the hell out of me. Like you said, she didn’t really feel it, and neither of us expected it to be nearly three feet long. I hadn’t seen it being put in, so I’d expected it to be maybe six or eight inches. She averted her eyes both during installation and removal, which was probably wise.

  5. Careful Jason, those things can be slippery when wet. You’ve been shot through the heart but you’re OK. You give taillights a good name.

Leave a Reply