Cold Start: Dad Will Never Notice

Cs Wolseleyhornet
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One nice thing about Alec Issigonis’ incredible design for the Mini, seen here in Wolseley Hornet form, with a grafted-on trunk, was the massive door pockets the cars had. This was partially because the early Minis and derivative cars didn’t have roll-down windows, but have sliding ones instead, meaning that the door never needed to house a lowered window glass, freeing up space. Space that can be used for, as we see here, a nice bottle of bourbon, which the child in the ad is clandestinely borrowing to fill his little bottle there in his hand, in order to make the tedious journey to grandma’s slip by in a glorious, brown-liquor haze.

I’m kidding of course – I’m sure that bottle is filled with some other delicious brown fluid, like molasses or mushroom tea or RC cola or gravy. There is a bit of truth behind my little imagined narrative, though: it’s said that Alec Issigonis sized the door pockets to hold a bottle of Gordon’s Gin and a bottle of vermouth so you could have all your martini ingredients right there, ready to go.

26 thoughts on “Cold Start: Dad Will Never Notice

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  3. This design makes a lot of sense since the OG Mini isn’t a hatch which I always found weird.
    I didn’t know the Wolseley Hornet existed and now I want one.
    Thanks Jason. *sarcasm

  4. You had me at RC Cola. All that’s needed now is a couple of Moon pies. Not only is that a good lunch or dinner, especially here in the Deep South, that combo has enough sugar to put you out of your misery for a few hours or so.

  5. I think you got it all wrong. Timmy is poisoning Dad. You see, Dad found Timmy’s collection of Selfridges’ catalogs with all the bra sections dog eared and threw them away. Timmy is pissed!

  6. “Jimmy, the boot is full. Help mum find a place in the car for her case of whisky”

    “OK daddy. I can put one here, and one here, and one here…”

  7. Actual words from my dad..”Jimmy, get your ass back in the car NOW! Jimmy, what the hell are you doing. Your fucking grounded if you don’t get back in the car……”

  8. I think the kid is stocking the car with booze per his parents’ instructions. These cars hit the market at a time when it was perfectly acceptable to put your children in charge of preparing and serving alcoholic beverages. The kid will probably be making screwdrivers and martinis when the family reaches their destination.

    1. “These cars hit the market at a time when it was perfectly acceptable to put your children in charge of preparing and serving alcoholic beverages.”

      Is … that no longer acceptable?
      My friends have their kids mix the drinks all the time….
      Kids think it’s great fun.

      1. I think it’s frowned upon now, and if your kids are too good at mixing cocktails one of your guests might call CPS. So play it safe and don’t let people outside the family know that your kid has made so many martinis that even James Bond would be impressed with their handiwork.

    2. It’s the UK, so even odds that’s brown sauce for the inevitable picnic lunch advertisers seemed to think family car owners were constantly about to drive to.

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