The Five-Lady Trunk: Cold Start

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It’s no secret that women have been used to make cars appealing to male buyers since there have been cars, and sometimes that turns out better than other times. The occasionally-seen old practice of showing how roomy a trunk was by cramming as many women into it as possible may be one of the less-good parts of this. I mean, we could go into all kinds of reasons and unsavory implications, but just from a practical level, this really doesn’t show you how much stuff you can get into that trunk. People don’t pack like luggage!

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Sometimes it doesn’t even seem like they were trying to show how big the trunk was, just showing that, hey, a couple of women could sit in here, if they want. Like that Tatra 603 photo up there. Those women aren’t crammed in there, there’s room for more people, so what exactly are they demonstrating?

I mean, it’s kinda fun to cram into a trunk and see what it’s like in that space. I’ve done it myself! But I don’t ever think this was actually useful.

Also interesting on that 1960s Lancia brochure: the other woman shown in the brochure, on the cover, doesn’t even seem to actually have been photographed at the location; look at the edges of her hair:

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I think she was X-acto’d out of  another picture and pasted in. At least the trunk women got to hang out with that lovely Lancia, at least.

Excellent and weird bumper guards on this thing, too.

29 thoughts on “The Five-Lady Trunk: Cold Start

  1. I know Cold Start is supposed to be short, but I can’t believe there was no reference to the taillights/headlights in these pics????…maybe an article on those Jason? I bet it was hard to resist mentioning

  2. A buddy and I were on a beer run in his girlfriends 72 Nova when we happen upon a big snapping turtle sitting in the road. Being the responsible young men were were, we threw her Indian blanket back seat cover on it and stuffed it in the trunk for transport to a more natural location. When we got back to the house, the only thing more pissed-off than that snapper was his girl friend. That thing had pissed and shit all over the trunk. He also chewed every wire, the blanket and clawed the trunk mat to pieces. By the time we got the turtle out, the beer, the girlfriend and the car were gone. Had to walk back to the store for more beer.

  3. I’ve done one useful thing in my trunk. I found a poorly wired trailer harness in Delta 88. Don’t get me wrong, my tail lights worked, and had been working the whole decade plus I had owned the car before finding the trailer harness (it was under the carpet, I had no reason to look there), but once I had seen the giant wad of electrical tape holding it together, no way was I letting that continue. Unraveling that mess would take far longer than I felt like standing there, so I sat in the trunk and tackled it that way.

  4. The disturbing secret is that the Lancia in the second photo is the same car as the one in the lede photo – and those same 5 ladies are still in the trunk. That’s why the lady standing beside it looks so damn pleased with herself: “Hah! I took care of those bitches…”

  5. I always felt Honda was missing a trick not advertising the Ridgeline’s under-bed storage as “dead hooker transport”. it even comes complete with a drain plug so you can rinse it out with Clorox and be sure to not have any DNA evidence waiting to bite you in the ass.

  6. Lancia Flaminia. The big Lancia sedan/limo was the top of the line chauffeured ride for Italian presidents and popes. Despite having that rarified market to itself and much more competition among 2+2 grand tourers, Lancia sold more Flaminia coupes than sedans, though.

  7. “I mean, it’s kinda fun to cram into a trunk and see what it’s like in that space. I’ve done it myself! But I don’t ever think this was actually useful…”

    You obviously aren’t old enough to remember high school drive-in movies. Standard operating practice was one couple up front to pay for the film, and various parties in the trunk while passing through the gate. Upon hitting the parking spot, they would decamp and position themselves in the rear seats. Monkey business did occur whilst in the trunk, obviously. So sometimes it was actually the preferred location. Depending on how hot-to-trot that couple mignt have been at the time.

  8. Jesus titty fucking Christ, were they TRYING to sell these cars to serial killers?

    “If it can hold 5 intact women, think about how many it can hold after you’ve chopped them up!”

    1. Looking carefully at their facial structure, I’m going out on a limb here, and hypothesizing that they are in fact sister wives, and this isn’t the first time they’ve been stuffed into a trunk.

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