Schrödinger’s Headlights: Cold Start

Cs Puglights1
ADVERTISEMENT

So, I know intellectually that yes, these are rectangular headlights. I can see their outer shape just fine. And yet, I see them as round headlights, because they have that circular inset inside the glass there. These are strange headlights, that way – both rectangular and round, like a Schrödinger’s cat of headlights, simultaneously both shapes, I suppose until we really evaluate it or see it illuminated? It also makes me realize I have different gut feelings when I see round or rectangular headlamp’d cars – not one better or worse, just two distinct gut level feelings – and the headlights on this 1976 Peugeot 104 kind of short-circuit all that. It’s kinda fun.

This SEAT 1430 uses very similar headlights, just doubled up, and it has a similar effect on me: Cs Seat1430

The proportions are also kind of strange for rectangular lamps: they’re nearly square, but slightly portrait-oriented, as opposed to landscape, like most rectangular lamps. For example, look how different the rectangular headlights in this Rabbit/Golf feel:

Cs Swissrabbit

See what I mean? No round insets, more conventional proportions, all as expected.

But those other lights – are they round lamps inset in rectangular frames or rectangular lights with a round interior? I like them, but if I had a car with them, they might just break my brain, and you’d find me just sitting in front of the car, staring, shaking, mumbling, like a computer you asked to explain what this thing called “love” is.

I wonder if I can order a set from Rock Auto or something?

43 thoughts on “Schrödinger’s Headlights: Cold Start

  1. I found the entire video of Volkswagen advertisement that Jason took a screenshot from:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKmWehLpa4c

    Apparently, the American consumers back then were probably too gullible to see that the “Swiss Miss” family was driving a “Westmoreland” Rabbit, not Golf (as it was used in Europe, including the Switzerland). The Rabbit in the advertisement ditched the massive battle ram bumpers for smaller chrome bumpers from 1973–1978 European Golf. Given how fake the whole thing seemed, I would think it was filmed somewhere in the Rocky Mountains region with fake Swiss hut props in the background.

    “Westmoreland” Rabbit with big momma bumpers:
    https://barnfinds.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/rab1.jpg

    European Golf with teeny-weeny bumpers:
    https://assets.shannons.com.au/images/DUQBA3E2558N78EE/YY202CWFAE9E8Q20/1078x809x3/yf8fdcgzvclbqni8.jpg

    A very useless trivial: the BE prefix on the Swiss numberplate denoted Bern.

  2. Wife: “Honey, are you ok?”
    Husband: “Huh?”

    W: “Are you OK?”
    H: “Yeah, why?”
    W: “It’s three o clock in the morning and you’ve been staring out that window, clutching the drapes for forty minutes now.”
    H: “I’m fine, just got a lot on my mind.”
    W: “Tail lights again?”
    H: “No.”
    W: “Come back to bed.”

    W: “They’re fucking square! Focus on the shape of the sheet metal around them, that and the fact that the designers didn’t even bother to incorporate any headlight trim. They are as square as a Mormon geometry teacher named Mr. Square.”
    H: “Thanks Honey, I’ll be up to bed in a minute.”
    W: “sigh”
    H: “sigh”

    H: “Does Mr. Square wear checked shirts?”
    W: “Of course he does. And yes, before you ask… he drives a Nissan Cube.”
    H: “He’s just got the one?”
    W: “No, he’s a collector of Cubes. He’s got a Rubik’s of them.”

    H: “I fucking love you.”
    W: “Stop clutching the drapes like a weirdo. Get some sleep. They are definitely square.”

  3. I travelled in Spain in the mid-late 1980s; I can confirm that square or rectangular headlights with round or elliptical reflectors behind the glass were popular on many European vehicles — not the least of which were the ubiquitous Pegaso motor coaches and trucks which usually sported quad “square” headlights with circular reflectors inside. Honestly, I really like the look.

    In other opinions, the single worst headlight design I’ve ever experienced is the large rectangular DOT sealed beam headlight. Those things have the worst illumination of anything I’ve ever driven. Big single sealed beams? Perfectly functional. Quad round or small rectangular sealed beams? No problem. The big rectangular ones found on a lot of pickups, commercial trucks, and mid-price cars not spiffy enough to rate quad headlights? Useless without fog lights to fill in the horrible cutoff that generated a zone of darkness large enough for an old Honda Civic to hide in. It got worse on taller vehicles. In a large truck, it was like perpetually driving over the edge of a cliff.

  4. You did not mention the ultimate headlight fetish car – the earlier euro version of the BMW 2000CS – one big glass bowl with a tossed salad of bulbs and reflectors in it…

  5. While on the subject of obscure light fetishes, that Golf appears to be a European spec car photographed in the Alps, I presume. Odd that it has the US style side market lights.

    1. You see what happens when you meet a strange Golf in the Alps?

      Good pickup about side marker lights. Also all markets outside of the USA only recieved the Golf with round headlights.

  6. “Round or square ‘eadlights, Monsieur Martin?” “Oui.”
    This is an early example of the 104, later models did feature proper Peugeot-shaped headlamps.

    1. You might be on to something here. Poincaré was French, a mathematician and an engineer, and was involved with the creation of chaos theory, from which all 20th century Peugeot designs are derived.

  7. The most efficient yet attainable shape for a headlight reflector in the era was a parabola, the cross-section of which looks like a circle. But the designers thought a square lamp would look better with the overall design of the car. These headlights are the compromise.

  8. OK, my curiosity is piqued by that Swiss-registered, early Euro-bumpered but US-spec sidemarker and headlights Rabbit. Come on, Jason, we know you know – spill the deets on that thing!

    1. You’re correct, these are Swiss number plates, but I’m not sure if that’s really a US spec bumper: other than the rubber things on the corners, I’m almost certain that it looks like a standard European Golf bumper. However I have never seen a Golf I with rectangular headlights, it looks like someone transplanted the grille and headlights from a Jetta, which was otherwise identical (except of course the trunk)

  9. Pretty soon we’ll have Torch’s deep dive on how the new pixelated Hyundai LED’s are actually made from LED elements with round lenses, but use diffusers with right angles. Simultaneously, his pharmacist will post on here about how Jason’s going through far too much maalox and tums.

  10. Clark Griswold – “There it is, kids, my motherland.”
    Rusty Griswold – “Dad, Grandma’s from Chicago.”
    Clark Griswold – “Shut up, Russ.”

    1. Yes, that would be Mercedes-Benz W123 with two different headlamps, depending on engines the owners chose to propel their cars. Both headlamp designs have the rectangle housing and lens.

      280 and 280 E had the rectangle headlamp reflectors and round fog lamps.

      https://image.jimcdn.com/app/cms/image/transf/none/path/s3e4bab3bab979ed4/image/i366bcb130e79a2c8/version/1386864671/image.jpg

      The rest of model range (200, 200 D, 220 D, 230, 230 E, 240 D, 250, and 300 D) had both headlamp reflectors and fog lamps in round shape until 1982 model year when they received the headlamps from 280 and 280 E.

      https://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTIwMFgxNjAw/z/7gYAAOSw0lhcmLN5/$_10.JPG

      Mercedes-Benz W100, W108/109, and W114/115 had the round headlamp reflectors behind the vertical rectangle lens and housing.

    2. Ugh, the closest thing I can think of is the god-awful second-gen Lexus GS. And they were so proud of those shapes that they repeated them on the back of the car.

  11. I’d have to see them lit, but I suspect they would look even more round when lit, given the effect of the lens. The 1430 gives me more of a round impression unlit than the 104, but it actually might lose a little of that when lit, since the circles cover so much of the squares.

  12. I remember when the 1975 GMs with rectangular headlights first rolled out in the fall of 74. They looked strange, but I immediately wanted my dad to trade our penalty box for something with them! At the time that meant a higher-end brand than our Chevy budget, unless we got the Caprice. So instead we ended up with a 75 Impala, still round headlights…

Leave a Reply