I’m assuming by now you’ve heard the news. If you’re like me, you heard it being screamed on nearly every channel of your Citizen’s Band radio while driving, and, if you’re like me, you had to pull over to let it all just sort of sink in. It’s just one of those things the human mind is simply not capable of predicting. The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, arguably the world’s most important sausage-themed motor vehicle, easily eclipsing Hebrew National’s SalaMiata or Jimmy Dean’s Patty Wagon, had changed its name. It is now, bafflingly, the Oscar Mayer Frankmobile. What? Why? This doesn’t make sense, and Oscar Mayer’s stated reason for the name change stinks like rancid hot dog water, if you ask me. Something is up.
Everyone knows this glorious bun-length vehicle as the Wienermobile; what do they stand to gain by changing the name? I mean, it’s not like Oscar Mayer has ever attempted to really push the term “frank” or “frankfurter” for their products – generally, they’ve focused more on “wiener” or “hot dog”:
Sure, they sometimes use the term “franks,” but as you can see from the packaging, it tends to not get the same attention and focus as the term “wiener”:
And, of course, we can’t ignore the song! The lyrics are about one wishing they were transformed from a human into a bit of intestine stuffed with meats, an Oscar Mayer wiener, not an Oscar Mayer frank:
https://youtu.be/dm7nUU3tvaw
Plus, if we’re going to be really technical about this, frankfurters, from Frankfurt, are traditionally just pork, while Viennese-developed wieners can be a blend of any number of animal meats, like beef or chicken or otter. So, if we’re going to be sticklers, those “Beef Franks” up there are an impossibility.
CNN reached out to their sources embedded deep within the Oscar Mayer organization, who suggested that the name change was related to their first major change to their hot dog recipe since 2017, when they stopped using synthetic rubber as a filler and pledged to use only natural latex. I kid! I’m kidding, Oscar, don’t sue us! There is zero rubber in Oscar Mayer products! Let’s all just calm down.
Oscar Mayer spokespeople told CNN a bit about the new sausages:
“While some competitors focused on having strong flavors on a few aromatics like garlic and/or onion, our team worked to balance these out while still keeping strong beef brothy notes throughout the dog,…more balanced flavor profile and iconic beefy taste that is more delicious than ever.”
Again, if we’re being technical here, all this talk of beef should be discounting the frankfurter name, period, but you know, usage dictates language, especially when it comes to hot dogs.
So, even with the recipe change, I still don’t think this warrants a name change to the Wienermobile. I’ve ridden in a Wienermobile, people, and I take this shit seriously. My very own child spent time with me in the Wienermobile, and where I come from, that name is sacred.
Remember, the Wienermobile name goes all the way back to 1936! Look!
Prior to that date, Earth scientists weren’t even sure it was possible to construct a sausage-shaped car; Neils Bohr himself felt the very concept was “impossible, a mountaintop that man’s engineering prowess will never crest,” according to an unpublished letter to the American Novelty Meats Consortium. But Oscar’s cousin Carl Mayer proved everyone wrong with his original Wienermobile, and since then the Wienermobile project has gone through at least 10 generations, using chassis ranging from Willys Jeeps to Chevrolet vans to RAM 1500s to GMC W-series.
It’s the Wienermobile. Now, it’s possible, perhaps even likely, that the Frankmobile name will not be permanent, which is good, because it makes no sense. The only possible reason I can think of is that perhaps Oscar Mayer is finally caving into the fears that a wiener-focused name will have too many penile associations, ones they feel they can better avoid with a frank-based name, as “frank” is far less commonly used as a slang term for a penis when compared to “wiener.”
They may have looked at similar failures in the past, such as the debacle caused by Wang Computers and their ill-fated Wang Wagon, made from a Jaguar E-Type and featuring a large CRT display in the rear window that was a fully-functional Wang VT100-standard terminal:
Wang never fully recovered from the PR nightmare that the Wang Wagon inspired, and maybe Oscar Mayer is getting very belated nerves about the whole wiener business?
Be brave, Oscar. It’s the Wienermobile. It always will be. Just own it.
To begin with, let me say that though I’m a dedicated Hebrew National fan, I’ve enjoyed many an Oscan Mayer product in my time, including their fine weiners.
Second, I’m not sure, but I think that I’ve yet to sample one made from an otter, but as long as they’re well off the endangered list, I probably would at least try a bite.
Thirdly, I had NO IDEA that a recent Weinermobile was made out of a (new) Mini. That snout is so recognizable as it the scale of it, thus, this particular Weinermoble must be considerably smaller than most of the others, so it’s extra good, Like those Lil Smokies from Hillshire Farms which owe some of their appeal to their diminutive size.
As for the reason for the name change… I dunno. It seemed stupid to me too when I first heard about it. Later, I saw a video teaser somewhere about a reality show based on people getting to drive the new Weinermobile (Frankmobile doesn’t really roll off the tongue, does it?) around the country… complete with a contest, etc… Then someplace else, I heard something about assorted adult escapades taking place in conjunction with this promotional journey… whether 20-somethings were actually fogging up the windows or it’s just a salacious bit of marketing I have no idea.
I blow my own wiener…
…whistle every day…
Man, what an unfortunate pause in my comments…
Love the “re-purposing” of the Jaguar from “Harold and Maude” as the Wang Wagon!
Honi soit qui mal y pense.
Franks still look like dongs. It is what it is.
Johnson Jalopy? Peter Beater?
Both good choices.
The vehicles name isn’t why this is both amusing and uncomfortable:
https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a18744967/wienermobile-plows-into-house/
Wang Wagon. I see what you did there. At least they are 30 years gone and can’t sue you.
It won’t last. This is IHOB all over again.
I live in Madison, Wisconsin. Home base for the Wienermobile. I have watched many groups of “Hot Doggers” taking Wiener Driving class in the parking lot of a local technical college.
I will never call it a Frankmobile. EVER.
I remember that during the Walker administration, the GOP even tried to ban any vehicles that were seen as rolling billboards. I think it was mostly targeting the TQ Diamonds trucks in Madison, which were actually used to transport product… jewelry is small. Then someone mentioned that the Wienermobile would need to be banned too. That was the end of that idiocy.
The real reason is to avoid association with disgraced NY Rep Anthony Weiner. “Why now?’ you might ask. Well, Oscar Mayer is a vast tube-steak enterprise (you know that JT was joking about those other processed-meat companies having their own cars, right? The fact that only Oscar Mayer has one is clear evidence of their market dominance). Proposing changes, analyzing their impact, approving them, publicizing them, etc, all takes time.
Contrary to popular belief, people in Vienna call them Frankfurters, and people from Frankfurt call them Wieners. The reasoning I have heard is that “nobody wants to be the sausage”, which doesn’t explain the Krakauer, Regensburger, Nürnberger bratwurst, or the Münchner Weisswurst, but that is beside the point for the Wienermobile.
Perhaps Oscar Mayer is planning on taking the Wienermobile to Austria to ply their wares internationally, where the locals would have scoffed at such an affront to their cultural heritage, but would be happy to accept the Frank(furter)mobile as a joke at the expense of the Germans.
I DEMAND KÄSEKRAINERS RIGHT NOW
And then there’s the Bavarian phrase of the extra sausage that has nothing to do with sausage.
Germans: “Austrians are the wurst.”
Austrians: “Germans are the wurst. “
Franks aren’t food. Franks are old guys with grey stubble who go around in button up shirts and cargo shorts yelling at you to get away from the Cadillac Allante sitting under the remaining strands of a moss covered tarp because “it’ll be worth a fortune some day.”
Hat daggies on the other hand, are food. I vote we force a rename to the Oscar Mayer Hat Daggie Hotrod.
Franks are old guys with grey stubble who go around in button up shirts and cargo shorts yelling at you to get away from the
Cadillac AllanteCadillac XLR sitting under the remaining strands of a moss covered tarp because “it’ll be worth a fortune some day.”The whole thing is silly. Something this iconic stands on its own regardless of how the word “wiener” is used. After nearly 90 years, people know it is not referring to anything other than hot dogs. Maybe this is Oscar Mayer’s “New Coke” moment and this eventually reverts back to its original name. Maybe they just wanted some attention.
Can’t blame ’em for trying to get more people to look at their wiener
I keep trying to read it as Frankenmobile. That seems most appropriate considering it’s a custom build on a chassis, and who knows what parts of the “beef” are actually in a hot dog? Lips, hooves, and sphincters is my best guess.
If we could just get them to team up with Toyota, I might be able to fashion a copyright settlement large enough to retire early.
Seriously though, if it’s not Best’s Kosher, I’ll pass. And I’m a Catholic!.
FRANK BURNS EATS WORMS..
Frank is a wiener.
Mission accomplished – Oscar Mayer wanted some attention to his wiener. He’s gettin it….
Er um Frank?
Well Frank settled down in the Valley
And he hung his wild years
On a nail that he drove through
His wife’s forehead
He sold used office furniture
Out there on San Fernando Road
And assumed a $30, 000 loan
On a little two bedroom place
His wife was a spent peice of used jet trash
Made good bloody marys
Kept her mouth shut most of the time
Had a little Chihuahua named Carlos
That had somekind of skin disease
And was totally blind
They had a thoroughly modern kitchen
Self-cleaning oven (the whole bit)
Frank drove a little sedan
They were so happy
One night Frank was on his way home
From work, stopped at the liqour store
Picked up a couple of Mickey’s Big Mouths
Drank ’em in the car on his way
To the Shell station, he got a gallon of
Gas in a can, drove home, doused
Everything in the house, torched it
Parked across the street laughing
Watching it burn, all Halloween
Orange and chimney red then
Frank put on a top forty station
Got on the Hollywood Freeway
Headed north
Never could stand that dog
I mean, put Frank and weenie roast and automobile, travel together, and, well that’s what comes to mind.
slow heartfelt clap
I’m a born and bred Angleno and this song is so L.A. it makes me a little homesick. Thank you.
Well Vienna was Freud’s home town, and well just look at that thing! And you can’t convince me that’s a bun either.
When asked about it Freud reportedly said “sometimes a a cigar is just a cigar”.
“they stopped using synthetic rubber as a filler and pledged to use only natural latex.”
Nah, that was Par-T-Pals, a very, very, VERY{!} CHEAP OFF BRAND from the Zeigler company in Tuscaloosa. This was bought by people who were either too cheap or too poor to buy Zeigler, Bryan or Oscar Meyer. (And don’t get me started on Lykes.)
Par-T-Pals are horrible to eat. And when you cook them, they turn into this ugly gray color. DO NOT EAT!
But… why?
Liberalism is ruining this country
That statement is shit, but…. but like… why did they change it? Was anyone somehow offended over this? If so, fuck those people, lol. It’s the friggin weinermobile!
Clearly liberals were offended
No? No. Not in the slightest.
Try harder when you troll next time, I guess. (Preferably somewhere else.)
Politics aren’t everywhere.
Nobody was offended by it. They just thought someone MIGHT be offended by or they saw a whole 5 tweets from people saying it was offensive. That’s all it takes nowadays.
I’m not a liberal, and I’m not offended. I’m kind of pissed. I come here to get away from politics. Fuck off troll.
My experience is that dick jokes usually play across the aisle. If anything, typically in my experience it’s prudish hyper conservatives that get all bothered by anything phallic.
Gonna give myself negative two points here for feeding the troll by responding to this though.
I had no idea processed meats had a political affiliation.
Seems like kind of dick move. Hard to imagine anything good will come of it.
My baloney has a first name, it’s O S C A R.
My baloney has a second name, it’s M A Y E R.
I love Oscar Mayer at every meal and every meal in the Weinermobile …
… NOT FRANK!
I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I’ll say that Oscar Mayer has a way with B O L O G N A!
Shove off FRANK!
There’s one of these at the Henry Ford museum in Metro Detroit. We take the kid there a few times a year to see / ride the trains, but I always get over to look at the weinermobile…it’s so freaking cool.
A few years ago I saw on the local news site that the Wienermobile was stopped at a store near my work. I left work early, picked up my son from daycare, and raced over there to catch it. I still have my wienie whistle.
As a parent, this is one of those MOMENTS. Love it.
I had a wienie whistle once, but some antibiotics cleared it right up.