These Jokes Are Some Total Groaners To End Your Day With: COTD

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Yesterday, a bunch of you started comment threads with several hilarious puns and jokes. It was so good that multiple Autopian staff nominated an entire thread for a Thread Of The Day. Today, the jokes are continuing, which is fine because it’s a great way to slide into the weekend.

First, we have to give a huge thanks to Vitaly for giving Jason a sweet George Barris booklet about customizing fins and taillights. What a fun piece of material! Of course, this immediately led to multiple jokes, like this winner from Canopysaurus:

Does this count as autoerotica for Jason?

CatMan also got a smile from me:

I have visions of Torch thumbing thru this at night in his bed with the covers pulled over his head and a flashlight. I mean he must be as excited as a 60’s teenager who stumbles across his dad’s playboy collection.

Next, we have some puns in an unexpected place. In Thomas’ piece about Nissan accidentally scaring people with poorly-timed marketing during an anthrax panic, a few of you started another pun thread:

Taco Shackleford
DeLorean tried to do the same thing one time, but the contents of the package actually had powder.

Hoonicus
Low Blow

Ted Fort
It certainly wasn’t out of line.

Hoonicus
Doesn’t pass the sniff test.

Mark Tucker, a regular source of solid jokes, laid down one of his own:

Is this what they call “viral marketing”?

Finally, we have David’s Tales From The Slack, where he handed out his business card at Pebble Beach, then started getting calls from people who think he’s an escort of some kind. Patrick George wins that entire comment section:

We’re always experimenting with innovative new revenue streams here at The Autopian!

That gets me thinking, maybe we really should start an OnlyVans… Have a great weekend, everyone!

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12 thoughts on “These Jokes Are Some Total Groaners To End Your Day With: COTD”

  2. Total Groaners !?! Such is fate, that the least will be elevated. A fine antidote that seems to have gotten lost in the SEAT cushion, an ode to poly-carbonate;

    When I took a SPE course on thermoforming the instructor relayed the story of his firm having trouble certifying a new fighter jet canopy. An independent testing lab must do bird strike analysis. This was not his first canopy contract, not sure about the lab, definitely some new staff. He showed a film of previous testing, using an air cannon to fire a bird carcass near mach 1 into a mock up of the front of the jet, with the canopy mounted to the actual hardware, and a test dummy pilot. I was surprised at how much deflection the PC composite withstood, and was allowable, to within inches of the pilots helmet. So this testing lab calls, tells him it’s failing, and he asks, too much defection? No, no deflection, smashing right through. THIS CAN’T BE, arranged to be present for the next test. Turns out they neglected to thaw the birds.

    1. Old one there. Fun fact Mythbusters did a test on this. Once they accomplished sourcing bird strike safe windows it turned out frozen or thawed they break through at exactly the same speed.

      1. I took that course in 1997. The slow motion filming of the F22 Raptor canopy distorting/deflecting was real. The frozen part of the story may have been embellishment, gotta watch those presenter types. The Mythbusters test was a low speed piper cub or similar, and a pain, not a compound curve canopy, and was done in 2002 or so.

          1. yup, noticed that too late for editing. Also thought about the Columbia shuttle disaster, saw the Nova program about NASA air cannon firing a block of foam insulation into the leading edge of the wing. When saturated and frozen, punched right through unfortunately.

  6. Bad Delorean Jokes.
    Why can’t you align a Delorean? Because it follows the white lines in the road .
    What kind of tires work best on a Delorean?
    Snow Tires!

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