The Internet and pop culture have funny ways of making cars infamous. Top Gear made enthusiasts think the Reliant Robin will tip over in a light breeze. Car websites and forums helped make the Camry Dent a thing. Enthusiasts assume a Prius is going to be driven at exactly the speed limit in the left lane, a Ram pickup is driven by someone who is drunk, and the driver of a Piech-era Volkswagen probably makes bad financial decisions. Even the Nissan Altima isn’t safe.
“Big Altima Energy” is a meme with a bunch of generalizations. Basically, Big Altima Energy (and there’s a whole Facebook group about it) involves a driver showing a blatant disregard for the law and the safety of themselves and everyone else. Picture a Nissan Altima racing through traffic at over 100 mph barely missing other cars as the driver threads the needle. Big Altima Energy also suggests the Altima in question will have all sorts of damage, an illuminated check engine light, and may even be driving on a donut spare or a few. I mean, just watch this parody:
So, when you’re presented with a 2005 Chevy Impala or a 2005 Nissan Altima SE-R, what do you choose? EmotionalSupportBMW has made the choice pretty clear:
Why have Big Altima Energy? When you can have the Biggest Altima Energy! They are going to have to add an 8th trumpet, because you’re redlining that VQ every time. You’re bring the 8th deadly sin, impatience. The title will be mailed with divorce papers. What are you divorcing? Traffic laws. Tailgate an ambulance. Terrorize your local freeway so much, NATO sends in a peace keeping mission. Race a 747, on an active runway! No Gods, no masters, only Altima.
Or buy the Impala and accept your place among regular traffic.
If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been out of the virtual Autopian office driving a few things as well as driving to Detroit and back. It’s a 6-hour drive one-way, so even if a press event is just a couple of hours, it’s an all-day deal. Flying is only slightly quicker and a lot more expensive. I’ve now been to Detroit and back three times in the past month alone, and I fear I’m beginning to memorize the billboards on I-94.
Anyway, I missed last week’s Mercedes’ Marketplace Madness and a few COTDs. So, I’ll nominate a second comment today!
David went to a UAW picket line and did something you don’t see too often by giving workers a voice and a platform. In doing so, he showed the human side of labor disputes. Thevenin seems to agree:
I just want everyone to take a moment and appreciate how important it is that David Tracy is going out and talking to the workers rather than just talking about them.
America needs more of this.
Have a great evening, everyone!
(Topshot: CBS/Nissan)
The rental counter has lots of Altimas too. I should know. I drove one last week all over the area from SFO, to Sacramento to Fresno and back. It was okay, but nothing incredible. I did exceed the speed limit at 5 AM on CA 152, yet I certainly wouldn’t race it.
It was hard for me to get in and out of, which shouldn’t really surprise me, because my last rental, a Maxima, was hard for me to get in and out of too. The Altima was kind of adequate. Nothing great though.
Since my GPS tells me to go east, west, etc., it would be nice if the Altima rental (and every other car for that matter) had a compass. The top of the dash and what we used to call the package shelf were shiny enough to cause bad reflections in the windshield and back window. And because the resume button on the cruise control sits lower than the other controls, you’ll probably cancel the cruise setting instead of re-engaging it at least a few times before you figure that out. If it has ABS brakes, I’m not sure they were functioning properly. Did I say the odometer was very hard to read? What’s up with low-contrast letters and numbers in places you’d like to be able to read the information and read it quickly? And what’s with putting the start button on the console?
Would I rent another Altima? Maybe. Would I buy one? No. I certainly won’t hire a rental-counter Mailbi either. I owned two GM cars in the 1970’s. Since I subscribe to the “fool me twice, shame on me” theory, I haven’t and won’t spend any rental or purchasing money on any GM car for as long as I live–maybe longer.
Loved that video! It always amazes me hoe some people with real talent are putting great stuff on the internet for free and other less talented are putting less enjoyable stuff and getting paid.
But yes Kudos to DT for talking to the real faces of the strike.
This was discussed a while back when someone pointed out that the Chevy Malibu and the Nissan Altima are the last two biggish, cheapish sedans left.
Do you want to look like a state employee on official business or like someone who gets surprise visits from one? If there’s an Altima and a Malibu parked in the same driveway someone is peeing into a cup with someone else watching.
Over the course of my lifetime, Nissans have fallen in status from “almost as good a Toyota and a little cheaper” to “somewhere between KIA and Mitsubishi” as their status level. And with this reduction in status, Nissan dealers have been reduced to finding financing for people who shouldn’t get a car loan at all, ever. People who can barely afford a car payment rarely have much to spend on maintenance, and the cars suffer a miserable lifetime.
The Altima SE-R is very hoonable.
I love the chaos that comes with Big Altima Energy. A stickshift SE-R may be the next car I buy should I ever need a cheap daily that can transport up to 4 people.
EmotionalsupportBMWEmotionallydamagedAltima!“Enthusiasts assume a Prius is going to be driven at exactly the speed limit in the left lane”
Exactly as all cars should be.
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