Hollywood David’s Probably Not Even Eating Shower Spaghetti Anymore: COTD

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You’re reading through some exciting times here at the Autopian. How many of you had “David buys a Nissan Leaf” on your bingo sheet? Wait, you did? Well, I hope you’re enjoying your favorite writers evolve, be it me discovering the greatness of BMW, David’s electric car adventures, or the Bishop fully embracing the craziest RV ideas you’ll ever see. Many of you continue to comment about David’s transformation from a Detroiter practically tattooed with motor oil to a Californian with electric cars, cats, and minimal rust.

I’ve noticed more than one comment about David’s recent adventures that reference the Beverly Hillbillies. If you, like me, haven’t seen this show, it’s a 1960s sitcom (and later, a movie) about a Missouri hillbilly family who become millionaires from oil [Ed note: I have seen many, many episodes – MH].

They move to Beverly Hills, scaring rich folk along the way. Really, the important part here is the show’s memorable theme:

Reader Lokki wins COTD today for this high-effort joke:

This here’s a story about a blogger named Dave.
Had a day-job at Chrysler as an engineering slave.

One day he’s in the backyard ruining a Jeep for good,
When up through the lawn comes bubblin’ crude.
Oil that is:

EPA, Superfund.

When the city finally starts towing away cars
Friend Jason figures prosecution can’t be very far. Tells David “Bud you better flee”

So David loads up the Mustang and moves to Los Angles:
Civilization that is:

Runnin’ water, electric lights.

So David gets a nice apartment and a couple cats. Starts wearing clean new clothes and the living’ pretty fat. No more shower sketti: ain’t no more need for that.

Gets a regular pay check – ain’t no need to skimp. Now it’s delivery pizza and wheelbarrows full of shrimp.

Fat shrimp. Already peeled.

Now David’s gone all Hollywood and got a TWO ‘lectric cars . Looks pretty cool but don’t go very far. One’s a BMW and totally not a Jeep but it’s totally in character cause he got it really cheap.

Young fella, city lights, girl friend?

In other news, I did not buy that deathtrap motorcycle over the weekend. Sadly, things just didn’t really go to plan. Maybe one day. My gearhead house search has been paused indefinitely as well thanks to the housing market. With that said, I’m getting the urge to carry the torch by moving to Detroit. Maybe I’ll even move to Troy and drive some poor city worker to drinking with my massive car collection.

Have a great evening, everyone!

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22 thoughts on “Hollywood David’s Probably Not Even Eating Shower Spaghetti Anymore: COTD

  1. Oh I hope you move to Detroit, we’d love to have you here! Sorry the weather kinda sucks, but we do have i3 Detroit which is a fully featured makerspace, and good food too!

  2. If you’re willing to move to Southern Indiana, there’s a former fire station for sale nearby that has 4 MASSIVE garage bays, living quarters, and a kitchen.

    Plus, it’s only a few hours from the southern Indiana Gambler.

    My wife and I would buy it, but we are too invested in our current place. Even if it’s just for our tiny house right now.

      1. Dr. Peter Venkman:
        What do you think, Egon?
        Dr. Egon Spengler:
        I think this building should be condemned. There’s serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it’s completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.
        Dr Ray Stantz:
        Hey. Does this pole still work?
        Dr Ray Stantz:
        Wow. This place is great. When can we move in? You gotta try this pole. I’m gonna get my stuff. Hey. We should stay here. Tonight. Sleep here. You know, to try it out.
        Dr. Peter Venkman:
        I think we’ll take it.

  3. In other news, I did not buy that deathtrap motorcycle over the weekend. Sadly, things just didn’t really go to plan.

    That’s a bummer, but there will be other deathtraps 🙂

    1. She’s not real. And if she is, then she’s a PETA inspector.
      Actually I have been told, (by those that know things) that DT is actually an East German spy, sent here to destroy the economy of California. It’s a promotion after the excellent job done in Detroit.
      The BMW and Leaf are strictly for receiving coded instructions thru the OBD Ports. Since DT is well known for screwing things up, the Leaf was sent as a back up receiver just in case the BMW comes to some sort of untimely end.

    2. She is a deep fake generated by the AI group at Autopian Studios. Watch carefully when she gets near a mirror in any of the videos. The AI gets confused about how to handle her reflection, but David’s reflection always looks normal… at least for him. 🙂

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