BMW Pretends Its Social Media Got Hacked And It’s Just Kind Of Embarrassing For Everyone

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Since yesterday, BMW’s Twitter and Instagram accounts have been displaying posts that seem to suggest that BMW’s social media accounts were hacked by someone or something named Dee, and added the hashtag #DEEMW. Of course, in reality, anybody who has spent more that 46 seconds on the internet in their lifetime did not believe this for a single moment, as this was clearly some sort of stunt by BMW to promote what I suspect is a new voice/simulated persona for their car’s voice interface and in-car infotainment stuff. That’s all fine, I suppose, but why does this all feel, so, I don’t know, embarrassing? It’s like the harder these companies try, the more we feel that ad-agency hired-influencer sort of unpleasantness and it just never works.

Now, before I go on, I know at good portion of you out there will read this and think well, dummy, you’re talking about BMW right now, aren’t you? So it worked! Any publicity is good publicity, right?

I get that, and on some level I’m definitely overreacting here, but you know what? I don’t care; the “any press is good press” thing is a bit silly; I mean, if I were to go into a Pep Boys and start peeing all over the trailer light displays, screaming that the Dutch are controlling soil pH via satellites and that it’s making Americans sexually attracted to succulents, that would likely get people talking about me, too, but I don’t think it would really do any good for the Torchinsky Lifesmile Brand.

[Ed Note: JT’s gonna go on a bit of a rant, here. So buckle up. -DT]

In the same way, I don’t think everyone talking about BMW’s goofball social media gambit is doing their brand any favors, either. So, let’s see what they did, and if, after I show you all this crap, you run out and buy a new BMW immediately, then I guess you were right.

It started with some simple text tweets:

Those double slashes, in hindsight, signify Dee’s voice. There’s a bit more of speculating on buttons and emoji shit and a poll and then this:

…so here Dee takes over, and it looks kind of like interrupting an old analog broadcast signal, because that’s how Twitter works, right? Tune your computer to UHF channel Twitter or some shit? Then a voice announces that “these channels are now mine” and there’s some CG animation of the text using aesthetics that mass media has trained us to associate with some advanced futuristic and likely sentient AI.

This section also proves to anyone paying attention that this is not a real hack, because, come on, people who hack social media accounts aren’t fucking hiring voice actors or rendering out complicated CG animations. This feels like when some church youth pastor decides he wants to teach kids about charity so he rubs some dirt on the face of a well-fed kid from the suburbs in a flannel shirt and has them pretend to be homeless but absolutely nobody is buying it and no one says anything because, fuck it, nobody cares enough to get into a whole thing.

 

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A post shared by BMW (@bmw)

On Instagram Dee “vandalizes” BMW’s page, complete with nonsensical spray paint sound effects, and one of the things she does is scribble out the words “Sheer Driving Pleasure” and replaces it with BLAH BLAH BLAH, which might be the most alarming part of this silly campaign.

I mean, for BMW especially, that’s not a great message. I don’t care if Dee the AI can’t drive, enjoyment of driving has been BMW’s MO for decades, and I don’t see why anyone who approved any of this thought that of all things for Dee to shit on, they’d pick that. I mean, it’s BMW, she could have made fun of subscription heated seats, for fudge’s sake.

The accounts then sent out some meme-like images ostensibly from Dee suggesting that BMWs social media admins were caught off guard and the collective internet was desperately wondering what was going on there at BMW, which we very much weren’t:

Dee Lies

These images are especially painful, because they’re sort of the corporate marketing equivalent of the “bae caught me sleeping” meme, because it’s just a whole stack of silly marketing lies piled one atop the other: the fake takeover, the fake shock from fake BMW social media people, the fake assumption that we’re all stunned and give a shit, all of it.

The fake takeover (fakeover! Has anyone coined that term yet? I don’t want to Google it, in case that ruins my belief that I came up with it first) then started throwing up a bunch of low-effort meme-type shit like this:

Oh, and like the rest of humanity, Dee played with some AI art generator sites:

Then, she tried to borrow the goodwill provided by dogs:

Also worth noting is that none of these are really doing numbers, either. As of my checking right now, none of these have crested more than 200 likes! I mean, shit, I once tweeted about fixing my Yugo with two hose clamps and a rock and that did 428 likes (as of this writing), which, again, is nothing amazing:

And, it’s worth noting that I didn’t pay an ad agency anything for that sort of low-to-mid-tier engagement. I just had to get stuck in a shitty car. I guarantee you BMW paid out an assload for this campaign.

Dee Instas

So, BMW’s fake takeover by their fake entity that likely represents the thing that BMW owners will yell at to find the nearest Shake Shack in the near future eventually shit out a dozen or so cringe-inducing posts before signing off with an animated mic drop:

Look, it doesn’t matter what I think of it, how did it play on the wilds of the internet? Are people charmed by this firecracker Dee’s devil-may-careitude? Let’s look at some comments!

Relplies

…and boom, zero to Nazi in like three seconds. Great job! The internet really doesn’t disappoint, does it? Plus, everyone else just seems to be at best, eyerolling, or seriously considering an Audi like that one reply up there.

Money well spent, BMW! Another triumph!

So, what did we learn from all this? I guess that the next BMW assistant will be called Dee and they will try to make it into some sort of character, and that BMW got soaked and some ad agency is eating hoagies stuffed with $100 bills and only accomplished making BMW’s brand seem more cloying and desperate and out of touch than ever before.

Bang up job to everyone, all around. #Blessed

 

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Mercedes Streeter

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63 thoughts on “BMW Pretends Its Social Media Got Hacked And It’s Just Kind Of Embarrassing For Everyone”

  1. People had to sign off on this. People actually approved this marketing plan, and eventually greenlit the final copy and artworks, like those idiotic memes and nonsensical (yet expertly executed, and not doubt expensive) video teasers. This is how companies spend their fuck you money.

    Like I needed to dislike BMW more.

    1. Yuuuuuup. Someone who probably gets paid way more than you or I signed off on this blatantly cringeworthy ad campaign. They probably won’t even get fired. Hell, it’s probably the same person who signed off on the “insult our own cars” campaign that BMW had a while back. I mean, fuck, they can pay me half what this person makes and I’ll do a better job than them as a side gig on top of my normal job. It’d be a win all around.

  2. Why must BMW be so extra today? Are they THAT thirsty? If the reason they’re saying your name is to comment on the stench of desperation, it’s NOT good press

  3. Also, the first person with the name “Dee” that comes to mind is Dee Reynolds from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Talk about a person you absolutely don’t want to associate your brand with.

    1. Oh! She could slash through the leather back seats of your Lexus to remember, all greased up and angry like Danny Devito at a sexed up holiday party..

  4. The BMW elves are are hard at work coming up with something to keep pace with the vehiclidays like “Lexus to remember” or whatever other Christmas inspired drivel the other brands marketing departments are putting out.
    Is this stupid? Yes.
    Is it worse than watching another commercial with a stupid big bow attached to another blah car as Christmas present? No.
    I would love to hear JT rant about that stupid holiday commercial tradition.
    I’d buckle up for that.
    “The GMC season of upgrade” is the current worst offender of Christmas car commercials.
    Max and Morris Grabowsky are probably rolling in their graves.
    BMW’s advertising is dumb. But it’s still not the dumbest.

    1. I though Jason had an entire running joke in which he mocks carmakers’ holiday marketing (“People have forgotten what Happy Honda Days are all about”).

  5. I get the whole Mr. Robot thing. I guess it’s appealing to the younger set but what I can’t get over is the fact that BMW is paying twiter for this ad campaign. Good or bad, twiter is the winner. Does BMW realize that the owner of twiter also owns a competing car company?

    3. BMW is still advertising on Twitter? I thought everyone had fled the nazification except for NFT and Bitcoin types. Huh, they are. So I searched for them and blocked them. Wonder if BMW advertises on Gab, Parler, and Pravda (Truth) Social too.

    4. Noooo… it’s no more appealing to the younger set than if you, yes you, came to a high school class wearing a backwards baseball cap and “did a rap” at them about saying no to drugs. It’s embarrassing, is what it is.

  6. Another “cool” trend I am seeing is promos for shows or movies where they glad reviews from rando twitter accounts as proof like they are Siskel and Ebert. Who gives a shit if @dingus123 on twitter tweets that this new show is “groundbreaking!”?

  7. This pathetic attempt at being hip reminds me of this new menu at Denny’s. It is the “influencer” or “social media star” or whatever inspired menu. I was like “am I supposed to know who these people are?”And “Why the f* do I care what they like on their omelette?”

  9. one of the things she does is scribble out the words “Sheer Driving Pleasure” and replaces it with BLAH BLAH BLAH, which might be the most ACCURATE part of this silly campaign.

    FTFY

  11. I don’t “get” why people follow brands on social media to begin with. I mean, I understand why you guys do it — it’s your job to write about the goings-on of the industry, so you have to stay plugged in. I’m talking about normal people. It is a brave man who browses the internet in 2022 without an ad-blocking extension installed… yet these ad-blocking web surfers are clicking over to Twitter and begging: “Please advertise to me! Sell me things!” by following brand accounts.

    1. That may not be working for them anymore. I don’t know if it’s the cars that all look the same, or the ads themselves following way too similar visual languages, but I’ve grown used to remembering bits of modern car ads and being unable to remember what car/brand was being advertised.

      My daughter is 9 and has already noticed how car ads tend to have lots of similarities, and even has this theory that car ads are just fast-paced perfume ads (she may have heard this in some TV show, not sure; she swears that she just came to that conclusion by herself). Which is saying a lot, because perfume ads are some of the most formulaic out there.

      But, I mean, it’s still better than this fakeover thing.

  14. 106-year old attempts youth on social media. “So hacking still means 90’s movie hacking right? Not having your account hijacked for hate speech? I won’t check.”

    1. Still Tesla by a mile. No matter how much Twitter-cringe BMW generates, it can only be a subset of the cringey accomplishments (cringecomplishments?) of Elon’s Muskverse.

  20. A simple guide to tell if a social media account has actually been hacked:

    Did it immediately start spamming ethnic slurs as fast as possible? No- not hacked. Yes- possibly hacked, possibly drunk, or possibly Kanye.

  21. I am sure the marketing department will get a congratulatory slap on the back, and a raise. Oor the head of the marketing department will and rightly so, fired on the spot, a huge kick in their asses on the way out the door. But, my bet is they get just a slap on the back and a hand shake. And being told “Good Job”.

    1. If they had thrown in a Deez nutz joke it might have redeemed the whole thing. I bet it was in the proposal and got cut for going too far.

      Hold on, if Dee is the name of their new in-car AI, I fully expect to see an article here where every mention of Dee is replaced with “DeezNutz”.

  24. My high school daughter is receiving several (or more?) text messages every day from colleges recruiting her. Most, if not all of the attempts to appear casual, cool, and hip just make them look sad.

    Writing a message to a future college student using all lower case, no punctuation, and abbreviated words does not look very academic. Or are we doing this college shopping thing wrong?

    3. I would reply back asking if the person who sent the text is a graduate of that institution. If so, I’d thank them for letting me know that their educational abilities are roughly aligned with kindergarten and ask them not to contact me again.

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