BMW has been making waves for all the wrong reasons. Or, just one, actually—it’s been building awkward-looking cars with giant nostrils. However, there is light on the horizon, quite literally. I’m here to tell you that the Bavarians have turned a corner, and their new grilles have won me over. Why? Because now, they light up!
Call me juvenile, call me a philistine, I don’t care. Glowing grilles are awesome, they’re useful, and they’re exactly what the car world needs right now.
Outraged? I’m sure. Let me explain.
Here’s the thing. We’re not living in 1957 anymore. Sealed beam headlights are over, combustion’s kind of on the way out, and wallpaper hasn’t been an appropriate choice for home decor for well over half a century now. Cars aren’t supposed to look the same forever. We’re living in the gosh-darned future, and it’s high time we started acting like it!
We got a taste for this in the late nineties. Manufacturers rejoiced at the invention of the blue LED, and stuck them on every appliance in our lives. Meanwhile, the tuning scene fell in love with neons, and started the underglow craze. For a minute there, we were on the cutting edge.
But then we all went too hard with silver-this and millennium-that, and designers revolted. Everything got toned down. Culture ricocheted and backfired, and we went back to plaid shirts and punk rock, before we tripped over vaporwave and ended up spat out back into the present day.
Now, the EV transition is here and automakers want to make things look modern again. Lighting is the way to do. We have magical LEDs that put out tons of light in a tiny package for very little power usage. You can stick them on anything and behind anything and make it glow, and you can do it in all kinds of cool colors.
BMW started with its backlit “Iconic Glow” grille and it’s only gotten better since then.
Luxury automakers didn’t miss the memo. They went ham on ambient lighting for interiors, and it’s showing up in exterior design too. Mercedes-Benz started putting glowing badges on its cars, and BMW’s gone one further. It’s started illuminating grilles, and it ought to be celebrated for it.
BMW started with a backlit glow on the X6 back in 2019, and that was kind of cool. But it was the XM Concept in 2021 that really nailed the format, with the glowing outline of its snout drawing eyes from a mile away. Today, you can get the illuminated kidney grille on much of the modern BMW range, including the new X3, on which it looks particularly badass.
While the large BMW grilles can look foolish at times, they’re ultimately much less offensive when they’re glowing in the dead of night. They give the vehicle an amazing visual signature in the dark, and highlight one of the most potent pieces of BMW’s design language. Plus, they look like something out of a sci-fi movie, and I’m tired of pretending that isn’t cool.
The glowing grilles can also serve as a useful safety feature by serving as running lights, particularly during intermediate lighting periods like dawn and dusk. This isn’t critical in a world where daytime running lights are mandatory, but they certainly don’t hurt.
Now, you might hate glowing grilles. You might think they’re ugly and that they have no place on a modern BMW. But that’s okay—they’re not hurting you, and you don’t have to have one!
Meanwhile, those of us that like them will continue to enjoy them. We’ll keep driving around making “pew pew” sounds as we pretend to shoot lasers from our roadgoing starships, with the ambient lighting set to red because we’re in a dire combat situation! Okay, maybe that’s just me, but still. They’re fun.
It bears noting this isn’t even a new idea. Car companies—even the conservative ones like Ford—have been experimenting with glowing badges and similar accoutrements for decades. For a certain type of enthusiast, they make a cool car even more special.
The one criticism I have is that BMW doesn’t do a good enough job showing them off. It has a handful of pictures of glowing grilles laying around, but they’re not exactly easy to find. Sometimes, that’s the way with controversial features, but it makes it more difficult to celebrate them!
Honestly, though, that’s my take, and I stand by it. Automakers have the technology to make bits of our cars glow. It’s not expensive to do, and it can look really cool. Plus, when OEMs do it, it tends to look a lot less tacky compared to slapping on aftermarket gear from AliExpress and the like.
I’m all for more illuminated badges, more illuminated grilles, and yes, factory underglow. I’m still waiting on that last one, but it can’t be far away, right?
Image credits: BMW
Folks.
Folks folks folks.
I love your site. I think the mix of facts, opinions and fun are great but, on this occasion, ”just f***ing no!”
The true and correct BMW grill: https://carsales.pxcrush.net/carsales/cars/dealer/797ytm7jcwaag7ptd2ac9a0r2.jpg
Obviously this doesn’t create tiktok or ig rage engagement, but God I wish they’d fire van Hoodyonk and just do ONE last 3er with a turbo I6, and some combo of the vision Neue Klasse concept but with a modernized version of this grille/front graphic. It’s iconic but kinda odd enough that you could create some really cool/unique shapes with it and modern manufacturing… but that will never happen.
Van Hooydonk’s crimes against BMW design are many. I do not understand how he’s still employed there when he misses the plot so hard.
They had Bangle before him. BMW lost the plot 25 years ago.
Bangle had some stinkers, sure, but was nowhere close when it comes to van Hooydonk’s ridiculousness.
You know what’s the irony behind those tall and vertically oriented kidneys in old BMWs? That BMW designers back then understood that you can’t put tall and narrow features in low and wide cars, so the kidneys are contained in a larger grille that spans the whole width of the car.
That’s smart, you see? You keep the tradition alive but you make it work in an evolving body style. Alas, those smart designers are gone and have been replaced by a team of beavers.
The true and correct BMW grill: https://carsales.pxcrush.net/carsales/cars/dealer/797ytm7jcwaag7ptd2ac9a0r2.jpg
Obviously this doesn’t create tiktok or ig rage engagement, but God I wish they’d fire van Hoodyonk and just do ONE last 3er with a turbo I6, and some combo of the vision Neue Klasse concept but with a modernized version of this grille/front graphic. It’s iconic but kinda odd enough that you could create some really cool/unique shapes with it and modern manufacturing… but that will never happen.
Van Hooydonk’s crimes against BMW design are many. I do not understand how he’s still employed there when he misses the plot so hard.
They had Bangle before him. BMW lost the plot 25 years ago.
Bangle had some stinkers, sure, but was nowhere close when it comes to van Hooydonk’s ridiculousness.
You know what’s the irony behind those tall and vertically oriented kidneys in old BMWs? That BMW designers back then understood that you can’t put tall and narrow features in low and wide cars, so the kidneys are contained in a larger grille that spans the whole width of the car.
That’s smart, you see? You keep the tradition alive but you make it work in an evolving body style. Alas, those smart designers are gone and have been replaced by a team of beavers.
See also: Mercedes-Benz shitty three-pointed star that is gaudy, and really poorly lit besides. I’ve seen brand new-MB’s with that stupid star and it looks like someone ganked a strip of Christmas lights from an orphanage, dipped them in a shitty plastic mold without checking to see if all the LEDs actually work, plugged that fucker in and called it a day.
It looks so, so bad, both as a matter of taste and of execution.
You know what would really blow me away, what would make me fly out of my clothes and ascend to heavenly glory like all those sainted souls awaiting Rapture? A modicum of restraint. An uncreased surface. A thing that could light up but doesn’t, a taillight that doesn’t have a cross-section you can only describe with calculus, a grill that doesn’t look like several smaller grills in a trenchcoast.
I expect to remain unhappily clothed for a long time yet.
The light-up VW logo is even more egregious to me. I feel like that one didn’t even bother to hide the individual LEDs’ glow. Both are beyond awful.
Mercedes is supposed to be classy. The light-up star is trashy AF. They should be ashamed.
That Mercedes lighted star is even worse because it’s only available on the base model.
Lmao of course it is. You know that dealerships spec that shit for every single lease special they order. I’m sure that tacky star probably winds up on the Tik Tok of the person who’s spending 50% of their income for the privilege of renting it within 20 minutes of getting the keys.
See also: Mercedes-Benz shitty three-pointed star that is gaudy, and really poorly lit besides. I’ve seen brand new-MB’s with that stupid star and it looks like someone ganked a strip of Christmas lights from an orphanage, dipped them in a shitty plastic mold without checking to see if all the LEDs actually work, plugged that fucker in and called it a day.
It looks so, so bad, both as a matter of taste and of execution.
You know what would really blow me away, what would make me fly out of my clothes and ascend to heavenly glory like all those sainted souls awaiting Rapture? A modicum of restraint. An uncreased surface. A thing that could light up but doesn’t, a taillight that doesn’t have a cross-section you can only describe with calculus, a grill that doesn’t look like several smaller grills in a trenchcoast.
I expect to remain unhappily clothed for a long time yet.
The light-up VW logo is even more egregious to me. I feel like that one didn’t even bother to hide the individual LEDs’ glow. Both are beyond awful.
Mercedes is supposed to be classy. The light-up star is trashy AF. They should be ashamed.
That Mercedes lighted star is even worse because it’s only available on the base model.
Lmao of course it is. You know that dealerships spec that shit for every single lease special they order. I’m sure that tacky star probably winds up on the Tik Tok of the person who’s spending 50% of their income for the privilege of renting it within 20 minutes of getting the keys.
So the bimmer stuck a flashlight against it’s nose to make the nostrils glow. I did this in elementary school. It was cool when I was 8. This, not so much.
So the bimmer stuck a flashlight against it’s nose to make the nostrils glow. I did this in elementary school. It was cool when I was 8. This, not so much.
Gotta give the man respect. It took a giant set of knackers to post this.
Gotta give the man respect. It took a giant set of knackers to post this.
Are they though?
Are they though?
I always like glowing stuff, because it is a clear indication that there is an idiot behind the wheel who is about to do something stupid.
I always like glowing stuff, because it is a clear indication that there is an idiot behind the wheel who is about to do something stupid.
If you all think the grill on the new X3 is bad, just look up its interior. It’s inexcusably bad.
Well, looks like Pep Boys stock just went up.
What in the absolute fuck is that
Oh, my! Suddenly, it’s 1976!
If you all think the grill on the new X3 is bad, just look up its interior. It’s inexcusably bad.
Well, looks like Pep Boys stock just went up.
What in the absolute fuck is that
Oh, my! Suddenly, it’s 1976!
Sorry, I agree with Mies van der Rohe when it comes to design : Less is more.
This century has not gotten the message.
Sorry, I agree with Mies van der Rohe when it comes to design : Less is more.
This century has not gotten the message.
Lewin, I’m not going to state definitively that you’re wrong and you should feel bad—mainly because I enjoy a bit of whimsy.
But, I swear to Bog, if that shit starts becoming ubiquitous around here, I’m ordering a set of LEDs and will outline my modest, 26yo kidney grills with them to take the piss outa this.
-mind, I put yellow accents on my old work van’s ‘spoiler’ and no one noticed, so I won’t be changing the world.
Lewin, I’m not going to state definitively that you’re wrong and you should feel bad—mainly because I enjoy a bit of whimsy.
But, I swear to Bog, if that shit starts becoming ubiquitous around here, I’m ordering a set of LEDs and will outline my modest, 26yo kidney grills with them to take the piss outa this.
-mind, I put yellow accents on my old work van’s ‘spoiler’ and no one noticed, so I won’t be changing the world.
No complaints when its a full outline of each nostril. At night in full dark that probably looks pretty cool. However, the figure 8/inifinty symbol versions (like in the last pic in the ad), I think look absolutely horrendous, and also fail what I assume is the premise of lighting these, making it obviously a BMW in the dark. That shape isn’t instantly recognizable as BMW nostrils.
No complaints when its a full outline of each nostril. At night in full dark that probably looks pretty cool. However, the figure 8/inifinty symbol versions (like in the last pic in the ad), I think look absolutely horrendous, and also fail what I assume is the premise of lighting these, making it obviously a BMW in the dark. That shape isn’t instantly recognizable as BMW nostrils.
Counterpoint: NO! NOOOOO! MY EYES! NO!
Parsh would NEVER
Parsh going the opposite direction and offering flat-sticker crests to save weight on its high-end models is the way, the truth and the absence of light. I love it.
That serves a genuine purpose and is a part of a greater engineering ethos of making the best cars possible. Therefore, it is rad. The light up grilles serve no greater purpose other than flexing. Therefore, they are NOT rad.
Yeeeeeah, flex culture annoys me so hard and that’s a large part of my objection to this absolute tackiness.
(Says a person who loves candy-colored GT3 RSes, so uh, take that as you will. But…BUT! Those are purpose-built track machines and most of the features outside cool paint options are all function, no silly flex. Even fancy-schmancy carbon packages are there to save weight.)
If I had an unlimited Parsh budget I’d get a GT3 Touring. Give me ALL the performance goodness with none of the flex…although I agree, I’d absolutely get it in a crazy color. Preferably Frozen Berry Metallic.
fun colors: it’s not just me, it’s what the culture’s feelin’
(parsh culture)
(Also, I have a soft spot for the banned-in-Yurop light-up Spirit of Ecstasy, but that one was small and the rest of Rolls’ designs are understated and simple. Even the optional grille backlighting on those is kinda understated. You know what it is when it rolls up, pun intended, let me have my dad joke. It does not need to have a giant border around the grille that looks like a corny Autozone add-on.)
To your other comment above… that’s what separates Porsche from the rest of the Germans. Er, well, BMW and to a lesser (but still shameful) extent, Mercedes. Porsche changes things because they make the car better or faster or lighter. There’s always an engineering truth behind it. They don’t put disco balls on the roof and rainbow rgb strips around the grilles because… that’s fucking stupid. People clown on Porsche for their insane options.. But I’d argue, for the vast majority, a Porsche is a purchase you make after a life of longing for one.. you should be able to make it exactly what you want it to be. It still isn’t gimmicky.
but anywho.
See also, one is a storied and hallowed German sports car manufacturer with decades upon decades of motorport history, the other is BMW.
oh, hm.
yo, don’t come at Big M8 like that
(or the legendary DTM cars, or BMW in F1, or or or)
just because the designs are hideous now doesn’t mean BMW hasn’t done cool motorsport stuff
That was kinda the joke of the “oh, hm” at the end.. That both brands have gobs of heritage to trade one, and Porsche honors that and continues to play in that space while BMW has become a clout chasing tween.
Is the same energy as Jason Derulo becoming a tiktoker
Fair fair! I love that BMW is running a Le Mans prototype now, too. They just need to fix their frickin’ road cars.
I saw a few M4s competing in LMGT3. I’m not sure how they did and I know a Parsh won that class (despite the bitterly disappointing hypercar finish), but there were definitely some beaver teeth out there last weekend.
YES MANTHEY YESSSSSS
Oh dear God, you cracked it. the LMP car has light up kidneys, which do make it easier to identify at a glance during night racing… if this is BMWs nod to motorsport, they can take it back.
Haha. There are some things that work on endurance cars that shouldn’t go on a road car. This is one.
Counterpoint: NO! NOOOOO! MY EYES! NO!
Parsh would NEVER
Parsh going the opposite direction and offering flat-sticker crests to save weight on its high-end models is the way, the truth and the absence of light. I love it.
That serves a genuine purpose and is a part of a greater engineering ethos of making the best cars possible. Therefore, it is rad. The light up grilles serve no greater purpose other than flexing. Therefore, they are NOT rad.
Yeeeeeah, flex culture annoys me so hard and that’s a large part of my objection to this absolute tackiness.
(Says a person who loves candy-colored GT3 RSes, so uh, take that as you will. But…BUT! Those are purpose-built track machines and most of the features outside cool paint options are all function, no silly flex. Even fancy-schmancy carbon packages are there to save weight.)
If I had an unlimited Parsh budget I’d get a GT3 Touring. Give me ALL the performance goodness with none of the flex…although I agree, I’d absolutely get it in a crazy color. Preferably Frozen Berry Metallic.
fun colors: it’s not just me, it’s what the culture’s feelin’
(parsh culture)
(Also, I have a soft spot for the banned-in-Yurop light-up Spirit of Ecstasy, but that one was small and the rest of Rolls’ designs are understated and simple. Even the optional grille backlighting on those is kinda understated. You know what it is when it rolls up, pun intended, let me have my dad joke. It does not need to have a giant border around the grille that looks like a corny Autozone add-on.)
To your other comment above… that’s what separates Porsche from the rest of the Germans. Er, well, BMW and to a lesser (but still shameful) extent, Mercedes. Porsche changes things because they make the car better or faster or lighter. There’s always an engineering truth behind it. They don’t put disco balls on the roof and rainbow rgb strips around the grilles because… that’s fucking stupid. People clown on Porsche for their insane options.. But I’d argue, for the vast majority, a Porsche is a purchase you make after a life of longing for one.. you should be able to make it exactly what you want it to be. It still isn’t gimmicky.
but anywho.
See also, one is a storied and hallowed German sports car manufacturer with decades upon decades of motorport history, the other is BMW.
oh, hm.
yo, don’t come at Big M8 like that
(or the legendary DTM cars, or BMW in F1, or or or)
just because the designs are hideous now doesn’t mean BMW hasn’t done cool motorsport stuff
That was kinda the joke of the “oh, hm” at the end.. That both brands have gobs of heritage to trade one, and Porsche honors that and continues to play in that space while BMW has become a clout chasing tween.
Is the same energy as Jason Derulo becoming a tiktoker
Fair fair! I love that BMW is running a Le Mans prototype now, too. They just need to fix their frickin’ road cars.
I saw a few M4s competing in LMGT3. I’m not sure how they did and I know a Parsh won that class (despite the bitterly disappointing hypercar finish), but there were definitely some beaver teeth out there last weekend.
YES MANTHEY YESSSSSS
Oh dear God, you cracked it. the LMP car has light up kidneys, which do make it easier to identify at a glance during night racing… if this is BMWs nod to motorsport, they can take it back.
Haha. There are some things that work on endurance cars that shouldn’t go on a road car. This is one.
No
No no no
No no no no no no no
No
No no no no no no
No no
Noooooooo
No
No no no
No no no no no no no
No
No no no no no no
No no
Noooooooo