Why do bad things happen to good people? It’s one of the great ontological questions we, as humans, must struggle with from time-to-time. Our own Adrian Clarke, in particular, is a delightful human being. We love him. His luck is outright shit. So it wasn’t a surprise to us that he becomes the first person in our Slack’s history to message us from the back of an ambulance.
Who is ready to see Adrian’s nipples? I am ready to see Adrian’s nipples. But first, how it all began:
Thankfully, Adrian had the presence of mind to Slack all of us. It’s worth also noting here that in the United States this would be a bigger deal because you’re probably looking at a $1,200 bill. In the United Kingdom, where Adrian resides, even goths get to ride for basically free.
Once we sort of determined that Adrian wasn’t going to immediately die, our thoughts jumped straight to the content angles:
Honestly, though, kinda bummed he didn’t grab a pen and paper and instead selfishly focused on trying to reduce his overwhelming abdominal pain.
I mean, I will get content out of it.
I don’t remember getting a reel!
It’s true, though, Europeans use 25p. I don’t know why.
If you guessed David was the one who ended up in the ambulance I don’t blame you. Ok, here come the nipples:
And of course, here comes Peter with one of his great photoshops:
That’s a reference to The Six Million Dollar Man which, by the way, the intro for this thing is so bonkers. Look at how expensive this must have been to produce!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRgqouS1O6E
Oh, yeah, Adrian didn’t die.
We love you, too, man.
Good to know that it was nothing more than a severe version of what affects us all after too much Taco Bell!
Also, once got to go for a ride to a Minnesota Gophers football game in an ambulance that had been converted for use as a tailgating (as in hanging-in-the-stadium-parking-lot rather than following-too-close) vehicle. There was tons of well organized space for barbecue equipment, shade structures, tables, coolers, etc., plus room for four in the back. They had it all painted up in Gophers colors and called it the Fanbulance. Definitely the coolest vehicle in the lot before the game.
Edit: A quick search shows that there are a number of these around the country. This appears to be a popular option for ambulance conversions.
That sounds amazing. Gonna need one done up in Dolphins colors stat!
Last year I went for my first WeeOOO ride, due to severe food poisoning acting up on both ends at the same time – made me prepare my speech for my maker and all, but fortunately lasted just a day.
Had a terrible time all around (at one point almost got into a fistfight with a security guy because of bedpans), but the WORST was… no WeeOOO at all! It was night, road was clear, and they said it wasn’t life threatening, but come on! This is like visiting Rome and not crapping on the woods!
As a regular user of morphine, I can tell you it is overated for “highs” and such. Pain relief, yes but not to get high.
When I had my gall bladder out they gave me a whole bottle of aural morphine to take home. Good times.
Psst… it doesn’t go in your ear!
Dude, stay away from the cat food. Major gas maker.
Not gonna lie, when I read the title (not looking at the Picture), I thought it could have been SWG severely cutting himself reviving some shitbox… ditto DT, Mercedes & that delightful crazy ass fellow with Project sno-klass.
I did Not expect it to be IRL my little pony Darkmoon…
Glad you’re OK Adrian
“that delightful crazy ass fellow with Project sno-klass”
Bill Caswell?
Glad Adrian survived. Now get some black tassels.
If this writing gig doesn’t work out I trust you’ll all come and see my one man burlesque show in a seedy all day drinking bar.