Good morning, and welcome to another action-packed Shitbox Showdown! Today’s cars are, well, they’re cars. That’s for sure. And we’re going to discuss them, even though they’re the sort of cars no one ever discusses. But first, how did yesterday’s coupes do? Let’s find out:
Yowza. Almost no love for the little blue Crossfire, huh? Oh well. I still like it.
I’ll tell you what, though: If you all like boring white cars, have I got a treat in store for you! Today’s contenders are scenery, background vehicles in their own stories, generic cars used in advertisements to sell oil filters. Nobody ever thinks about these two, and that includes the people who own them. But in a way, that makes them perfect for flying under the radar. Not flying very fast, mind you, but with great stealth. Let’s take a look.
2005 Hyundai Accent GLS – $2,990
Engine/drivetrain: 1.6 liter overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, FWD
Location: Sacramento, CA
Odometer reading: 158,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep
In the beginning, in the US at least, there was the Excel. And Americans looked upon it and saw that it was… not good. But they bought it anyway. The Excel begat the Accent, and it was marginally better. At least it held together until the payments were up. The Accent wasn’t infamous for being wretched like its predecessor; in fact, it wasn’t known for anything, really. If you thought about it at all, you probably though of it as the store-brand version of a Tercel.
And really, that wasn’t far off: the Accent felt generic as well, with a basic little four-cylinder engine powering the front wheels through either (in this case) a five-speed stick or (if you absolutely insisted) a four-speed automatic. It made adequate power, got decent fuel economy, and didn’t break down too often. The Hyundai Accent has been for sale for a quarter century in various forms and has not once managed to distinguish itself in any way. You have to admire that sort of consistency.
This Accent is in good condition, wearing its 158,000 miles with dignity. It’s a pretty fancy model too, with air conditioning and a CD player. It still has crank windows, though, and that’s fine for a car like this. Power windows are just one more thing to break.
Unfortunately, it’s not the “good” bodystyle; Accents were available (and popular) as a three-door hatchback, with a surprising amount of cargo space. This one fell victim to the Great Small Car Sedanification that occurred in the 1990s and 2000s, when hatchbacks started to be seen as “cheap” and small car buyers in America somehow got conned into buying less practical three-box sedans like this. But what’s done is done, and this car’s first owner chose the wrong style, and we’re stuck with it.
2005 Dodge Stratus SXT – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: 2.4 liter dual overhead cam inline 4, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Sacramento, CA
Odometer reading: 150,000 miles
Runs/drives? Sure does
The Chrysler “cloud cars,” successors to the long-running but much-maligned K cars, were likewise ubiquitous, and largely forgettable. In fact, you may have been handed the keys to one of these without even realizing it; the Dodge Stratus was a common rental car in its day. This very car could have ferried you anonymously to a convention in Des Moines and you wouldn’t have even noticed.
This Stratus is powered by the same 2.4 liter four that has propelled a million PT Cruisers. It works fine, and holds up pretty well. It sends what power it has to an Ultradrive four-speed automatic; these had a bad reputation early on, but by 2005 the kinks were fairly well ironed out, as long as they were properly maintained.
Speaking of well-maintained, this Stratus looks pretty damn good for 150,000 miles. I mean, it’s all freshly Armor-Alled and vacuumed and waxed, but that stuff can only go so far. Something weird might be going on with the power window switches, and there is a hole worn in the carpet, but other than that it doesn’t look abused or neglected.
The seller says it runs well, everything works, it just passed a smog test, and it has new tires. You could do a lot worse for basic transportation. It’s not exciting, or luxurious, but it’s not unpleasant either. It’s just a decent midsized four-door sedan.
I’ve always been of the opinion that it doesn’t matter what you drive, or how you drive it. What matters is where you go, and with whom, and the memories and stories you create along the way. These cars may be boring, but take one on a trip to the Grand Canyon and it will show up in the background of your photos twenty years from now, and you’ll remember stopping in that rest stop with all the creepy scorpion paperweights for sale, or cranking up the stereo and singing along to that silly B-52s song. Or whatever. The point is, if you can’t have fun with a “boring” car, you’re not trying hard enough. So which one will it be?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
Stratus purely on design style. There’s was something about those mid-00s Dodge cars that seemed a little better than anything they did before.
The Accent is 100% forgettable, though. Like I forget it was ever made all the time.
I would snatch that Stratus up in a second if was within a 100 mile radius of me.
I voted Stratus.
I’m voting from over in the UK, though. So maybe it’s the ‘forbidden fruit’ talking.
Another reason is that for only a tiny bit more money you’re getting a significantly bigger car. I’m not implying it’s a better car, but I’ve personally experienced those early-2000s Hyundai Accents before and they’re pretty damned terrible.
All the comments about the Stratus’ battery location are baffling me too. Yes, removing the wheel and the wheel arch liner is a pain but how often are you changing the battery?!
In summary: They’re both wholly unexciting transportation appliances, so for similar money I may as well go for the bigger, squishier one.
Just imagine the reactions you’d get driving the Stratos over here. Most people wouldn’t give it a second look, but car-people would notice the badge, and have a meltdown trying to work out why someone would go to the effort of importing something so bland.
For Americans, imagine walking past a base model Seat Leon or similar.
Torch had a brilliant series at the old site titled Meh Car Monday. Both of these would be good candidates.
I picked the Stratus only because it’s not a 2000s penalty Hyundai.
Stick shift wins this battle of otherwise forgettable cars. Also, the Dodge Caliber was such a POS that I can’t vote for its sibling here.
I voted for the Accent because I always wanted a manual econobox to do dumb stuff with. I would prefer a Geo Metro just because it’s even more hilariously small and unqualified for what I would do, but… Here we are.
The Hyundai just because its a stick.
In the early aughts a friend needed to use my XJ Cherokee to move some stuff, so I traded cars with her for a weekend. She had one of those Accents. At the time it couldn’t have been more than a year or two old. It was the biggest steaming pile of crap I have ever driven. It felt like a tin can, the shifter couldn’t have been more rubbery if it was built by Trojan, and it was just all around unpleasant to drive. It wasn’t just bottom-of-the-barrel bad; it was underside-of-the-barrel bad.
Plus if you had the Stratus, and one of your kids called you a loser over dinner, you could stand up and loudly exclaim, “I drive a Dodge Stratus!” Worth it just for that right there.
I cannot believe I’m going for the autotragic Daimler-era Chrysler product but here I am doing it. It actually looks like it would function as a perfectly decent cheap daily driver. I have a lot less trust for the Hyundai.
I wonder if you bought one left it for a night in little Havana and came back you might have a cool graffiti paint job? Otherwise pass hell passe.
Stratus, all the way!
Those Accents had a very peculiar styling with too much greenhouse for this guy’s eyes.
Another great Showdown, Mark!
When is your next article? I always relish them.
Think about? I can’t even remember them. I scrolled down to post a comment and promptly forgot what they looked like.
I can’t believe I voted for a Chrysler cloud car…I feel kind of dirty. Especially over a manual. But a Hyundai of that vintage is solidly before the “getting their shit together” phase of Korean car build quality. And while a Chrysler product probably isn’t much better, it’ll be more comfortable and safer in the short time before something goes horribly wrong. Or before you park it somewhere and lose it, given that both cars are the automotive equivalent of television static.
The correct answer here is “Bus”.
Voted Stratus because it looks more spacious inside.
I bet I don’t have to take the wheel and fender lining out to get to the battery on the Accent. Hey look I can see the battery right there in the picture!
It was neck-and-neck until I saw those sporty white gauges on the Stratus. That car must go fast! But really, the tired Dodge edges out the flimsy Hyundai. Throw in the B-52s CD and it’s worth the extra $500.
A manual beats an automatic every time, but I have to grudgingly admit that my daughter’s 05 Stratus was surprisingly decent and has proved to be fairly durable. Hoped to last 4 years through college, it also got her through grad school then handed down to her stepbrother. I’d like to claim that the 1 week a year that I got to lavish care & preventive maintenance on it was the reason-but the first owner’s treatment during 56k miles likely has a lot to do with it surviving the following 120k beat-on miles
Is this one of those cab-forward Chryslers where you have to remove the battery via rectal surgery (or at least take off a wheel and fender liner?) That and the manual tips things to the Hyundai.
One of the WGA picket signs going around the internet is “I Drive A Dodge Stratus. Still.”
Wow, both of them in my own backyard. Suprised to see 2 candidates from Sac in the same article.
I’ll pick the boring white one.
A lot of people forgetting that 2005 was before Hyundai/Kia took a large leap forward in quality. My family had a Rio from this era, and it was not a pretty ownership experience
Personal pet peeve: Calling power windows “one more thing to break.” Just because I have had to deal with way more broken crank windows than power windows.
Yeah, I’m about to deal with my first broken power window, and it’s a 2002 pickup that’s been kind of abused. It still works, just very slowly. I’ve dealt with a couple broken crank windows, and I’ve now had power windows longer than crank. Those locked up and stopped functioning at all.
I don’t trust an automatic from any Chrysler product of that era. With 150,000 on it though, this Stratus either got one of the good ones or already had the original unit replaced. I’ll roll the dice on the Dodge because I suspect it will be considerably nicer to drive around town than the Hyundai econobox.
I just want to buy the Accent, crash it into a wall and see if it leaves an Accent mark.
I really don’t want the Hyundai, but the manual decides it for me. I hate Toyotas for being relentlessly boring, but at least they’re not boring *and* poorly built *and* depressingly gray inside. That Stratus would bum me out every time I got behind the wheel.