Cheap Bastard Buys A Sports Car At A Fancy Auction And Is Terrified. I’m That Cheap Bastard

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I’m not exactly a fancy sort of person. You can tell this easily by asking me to empty my pockets and counting all of the loose screws and mildly chipped peanut M&Ms mixed in amongst the 41 cents in change, one of which is a prized Canadian penny. My lack of fanciness means that when I’m placed in a Fancy Human environment, I get a little uneasy, which, coupled with my inherent unease with spending large amounts of money at once, means that a car auction is very much not part of my natural environment. But I love cars, and I know people, like my wonderful friend and business partner Beau Boeckmann, who genuinely love car auctions, and he decided he should show me what they feel like. Because they definitely feel like something, perhaps a combination of a blind date and gambling and a chess match and fight. And I felt it all despite not even using my own money. I’ll try to explain.

Beau and I were at the Amelia Island Concurs recently, and in between me being shocked at boring-seeming Buicks and shooting some videos, I noticed a very charming little car: a yellow 1958 Berkeley SE328 with an amazing green stripe that ran all through it — into the floor mats and upholstery and everything. I wrote about it, even.

The car was being auctioned, and Beau noticed it too; he had a great idea: What if we were to try to get it at the auction, but this time Beau would let me be the one to do the actual bidding, just to get a feel for what a car auction is like? This wouldn’t just be a random purchase, to be clear. Beau has one of the world’s greatest collections of microcars and, while he has three Messerschmitts, he doesn’t have a single Berkeley. Maybe it was time to fix this.

Beau described auctions as exciting and sort of addicting, in a gambling sort of way. There’s strategy to it — a lot more than you may realize. You want to win, of course, but you also want to spend as little as possible, so there’s a lot of reading the overall vibe of the room with regard to the particular car currently on the turntable. It means trying to read subtle cues in people’s faces and demeanors to try to assess how determined they may be; it means interpreting the pace of the bidding, knowing when to ignore the cajoling of the auctioneer, knowing when to wait and let the tension build, or when to leap in early and take control. It’s subtle and cunning and requires a lot of ability to perceive subtle things while under pressure. I’d be terrible at it.

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Beau and I discussed some strategy, and set a maximum bid amount – a bit over $30,000– for the car. He’d be next to me, coaching and helping, so it should be no biggie, right? I mean, it’s not even my money and I won’t actually own the car myself, so no pressure, right?

Eh, not so right. You still feel pressure. In fact, just knowing that a tiny gesture or even a loaded look at the auctioneer can mean spending tens of thousands of dollars is strange unto itself. In fact, Beau is such a pro he showed me the cool kid way to bid, a simple look and a nod. How does the auctioneer know to scan the crowd to see such subtle signals? And how do they not accidentally sell cars to people just trying to order a sandwich or saying hi to a friend?

As you can see in the video there, Beau had to coach me pretty much nonstop. And the nervy feeling I had isn’t faked; there’s a real tension in the air in an auction, even for a car in as little demand as a funny old Berkeley. It’s still a competition that one can screw up, and I tend to have a penchant for that; and these auctions usually evolve into head-to-head battles  — subtle wars of will happening across crowded rooms, fought with gestures and nods, and the battle literally costing the winner more in the end.

It’s strange, but, yes, kinda fun, and I can see how it could be addicting. And, in our case, we won, possibly helped by the massive cloud of bluish two-stroke smoke that enveloped the stage when the Berkeley drove up. 

Anyway, now we have access to a Berkeley! These were really interesting cars; if you’re the sort of person who always wanted a Bugeye Sprite or an MG Midget but felt those were both, you know, too much car for you, then boy are you in luck, thanks to the Berkeley. Berkeleycaravan

Berkeley was primarily a maker of fiberglass caravans – what we in America call campers or camping trailers – but that was a seasonal business, so the company was looking for something to sell when camper sales were slow. That’s why when Berkeley was approached by designer Lawrence Bond, the guy who would had made the Bond Minicar, about designing a low-cost, fun sports car that could be “something good enough to win World 750cc races,” the team was willing to give it a go.

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The Berkeley we won – and this is the auction context of “won” that involves paying – is an SE328, so named because it’s a Sports car with an Excelsior motorcycle engine displacing 328cc. It makes a fabric-of-time-rending 18 horsepower, has a chain-driven three-speed sequential gearbox (and a reverse!) driving the front wheels, and weighs all of 672 pounds.

People raced these things, even though they’re the size of a small bathtub and feel like you’re wearing motorized pants when you drive them. The car is an absolute blast, and pretty unique among microcars of that era in that it was made for fun, not a minimalistic transportation solution for people with no other options, like most microcars. Most other ’50s-era microcars, like the BMW Isetta or Messerschmitt or Fuldamobil or whatever were reactions to postwar scarcity, and designed to just get people around as best they could; the Berkeley was the only one to take Microcar-type mechanicals and methods and re-cast them as a sports car, because even in desperate times, people still want – maybe need – to have fun.

So, with that in mind, get ready for more fun Berkeley content. It’s gonna be good.

 

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Mercedes Streeter

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97 thoughts on “Cheap Bastard Buys A Sports Car At A Fancy Auction And Is Terrified. I’m That Cheap Bastard”

  2. An auction sure seems like a less stressful experience than buying from a dealer. 😉

    I’m curious, how did they decide that selling a topless roadster would somehow augment the seasonal business of campers? Were people going to stop camping and start buying and driving these once the snow flies?

  3. I didn’t know anything about these car and just figured it was another 60s british roadster, knowing that it’s microsized and has a motorcycle engine is interesting, and chain drive trans? FWD? Sounds awesome lol. Looking forward to learning more about it. Congrats!

  4. First order of business, join the <a href=”http://berkeleycarclub.com/BerkeleyCarClubEnrolmentForm.html”>Berkeley Enthusiasts Club</a>, followed by the Berkeley Facebook group. You’ll be glad you did.

  6. “[T]hey’re the size of a small bathtub and feel like you’re wearing motorized pants when you drive them.”
    Ha. Will you all name your Berkeley “The Wrong Trousers” à la Wallace and Gromit?

  7. My lack of fanciness means that when I’m placed in a Fancy Human environment, I get a little uneasy

    You know, I bet Fancy Kristen has a correspondence-course for this. She might give you a discount even (although she might view it as an insurmountable challenge).

  9. the Berkeley was the only one to take Microcar-type mechanicals and methods and re-cast them as a sports car, because even in desperate times, people still want – maybe need – to have fun.

    The Goggomobil Dart would have some words to say about that.

  12. I appreciate Beau’s willingness go to all in for the autopian philosophy. Letting someone who’s not you buy a crazy car I’d never even heard of before with your money is perhaps definition of an enthusiast, someone who loves cars for cars’ sake.

    There are tons of car dealers in it just for the money, but guys like him and Ben Keating make me happy that there are at least some who chose the profession because their primary love is the vehicles.

    1. To be fair, if there’s an agreed upon max bid, there’s no inherent risk. He was letting Torch drive from his lap.

      Fun and harmless.

  13. An FWD roadster powered by a motorcycle engine seems very Autopian. FWIW the 3+R gearbox is,occasionally seen on sidecar rigs converted from a 4 speed. Also someone in the PNW has a Berkeley powered by a Honda CB-550

    1. A pair of trousers powered by a Honda CB-550 sounds like a serious laundry situation.

      Man, I’d love a Berkeley. I’ve seen one at the Monterey Historics and it was fierce. Small, but fierce. I forget what it was powered by, something four stroke on account of the two stroke seizing off throttle on the rare occasion that you might want to slow down.

  21. The Berkeley was at the show on Saturday and I can confirm it is stunning in person. The yellow and green absolutely works with the motif running through the upholstery, and the curves on the car are classic. It really is a miniaturized distillation of a British sports car.

    1. I’m having a hard time trying to get a scale for this thing. It looks like the size of a British sports car, but you’re saying it’s even smaller??

      3. So picture an MG Midget, then picture. Go cart next to it. Split the difference and you have a Berkeley. It is significantly smaller than a Midget.

  22. The Autopian: join our membership experience. Me: aren’t you bank rolled by the guy who did Pimp my Ride? The Autopian: Yes but we need more money for…reasons. Im guessing this article is a reason.

    1. Food $200
      Data $150
      Rent $800
      Berkeleys $25,000
      Utility $150
      someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my website is dying

      1. 30K is a lot of subscription money. Blowing that on toys and begging people that can’t drop $30K cash in one sitting to fund it is asinine. Perhaps it should be the other way around where the guy that regularly drops 30K in auctions simply holds off for a bit to grow his aspiring car site to not lose class and beg?

        1. Perhaps we shouldn’t chastise Beau for both subsidizing this website and also spending money on goofy microcars? It is his money after all.

          I’d also be curious to know what alternative revenue sources you’re proposing to fund this business. I would prefer not to be paying for membership but if I have to choose between that and thousands of invasive ads that make content unreadable and bring in a fraction of a penny each time I see them, I know which way I’m leaning.

          1. There’s a direct relationship between the two. We decided to go with a very small ad footprint because we expect to be able to make up the difference with Membership and other things (Podcast advertising, events, project cars).

        3. Maybe I misread the post, but it seems like this was Torch spending Beau’s money to buy the Berkeley. It doesn’t seem like Autopian membership money bought this car.

          Also, what kind of website would this be if they couldn’t spend any of the membership money to create content?? As long as the content is good, I don’t mind giving money to them to spend as they see fit.

          1. Or what kind of site would it be if they only posted content that each reader could financially afford to participate in directly? What a miserable “please kill my neighbor’s cow” way of looking at life.

          2. Correct. This was Beau’s own money, for a car for his own collection. This is not Autopian money. Beau collects cars, and is nice enough to share them with us to create content!

          1. Nope, smart enough to skip that. Quit my Wallstreet job in Bloomberg Tower and started an AI company in Michigan. I just remember what it was like being poor. I dislike people in positions similar to mine who go wear street clothes and beg for money.

            Not classy at all. Hope that MBA is doing you well. Maybe someday if I am interviewing you I will give you a pat on the back for it.

      2. Maybe you could get Autopianism recognized as a religion and get non-profit status? I would spring for a Rich Corinthian Leather level membership if it were tax deductible.

      3. And having predictable revenue is critical; subscriptions are a way to achieve that.

        This is why some software companies – e.g. Microsoft and Adobe – have gone from perpetual licensing (i.e. buy once, own forever) to subscription licensing. They can predict renewals and so forth to get a better handle on their income stream.

        1. Also, and less attractively, they bank on people letting the subscription continue even if they don’t use the product out of inertia or lack of attention to their credit card statements.

  23. I remember going to farm equipment auctions with my dad. He always warned us to stay absolutely still during the bidding or we could be on the hook for buying some machinery. Of course, I don’t see most auctioneers taking a child’s squirm as a bid.

      1. As a dad of two little kids, this is absolutely 100% factual. He was afraid of saying “goddamnit Tom sit down” and ending up with a combine discombobulator or something

    2. Oh man, those farm auctioneers see everything. We used to go to a fundraising auction once a year with a farmer who did a lot of them and knew all the auctioneers. Half the time we’d miss his bids sitting right next to him, but the auctioneer caught every one.

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