Car advertising has gone through a lot of strange periods and affectations, but I think one of the most consistently peculiar ones involves the use of kids, and how they always seem to make them feel just, you know, weird. This 1970 Plymouth Fury brochure is a fantastic example of this, compounding the already considerable awkwardness of stiffly posing kids in artificial tableaus by having them dress up in makeup and adult clothing. Sure, kids play this way all the time, but do they usually look like this? Why does this feel so, I don’t know, off?
Is it because of this kid’s expression?
I mean, maybe. I don’t feel comfortable with that kid around. He’s planning something. Just look at him.
Those Furies were striking-looking cars, though, The “fuselage” body type Chrysler was using in this era was sleek and modern, and in the right lights and at the right angles you can see the Syd Meade-like look that inspired these cars. The front bumper was a “loop” type, which meant it covered the whole face of the car, with the grille, containing also the hidden headlamps, nestled inside. These things had some real imposing, almost sinister presence, and the “Fury” name was fitting.
I also want to point out that the ad copy makes special note of the lane-changing turn signal feature, which was really just you slightly lifting the indicator lever.
I’m not even certain the lever design actually needed a change to do this? Maybe? But can’t you really do this with pretty much any indictor lever?
“ Plymouths of the Damned”, or, “ Do Furies Dream of Electric Kids?
From the novella “ The Midwitch Kiddos”
But what about the elegance of an all vinyl interior?
my parents had the sedan version in yellow: it was christened “The Banana Boat”
I read ‘Fury’ as ‘Furry’ at first and was wondering which was supposed to be worse, them or the kids. Then I wondered why everyone makes fun of furry sub-culture, I mean, people are in to a lot weirder stuff than that. Then I realised I should get some sleep. To dream of V8 powered sheep? <–dumb
That kid is thinking about how much lotion needs to be applied before he can make a dress out of the girls’ skin.
The kid looks like one of those weird melted Simpsons faces you could get if you paused the tape in just the right spot in one of their old, pre-digital episodes
Jeffrey Dahmer did modelling?
Applying the word ‘sport’ to vehicle names always puzzles me. What sport are we talking about? Drive through polo? Mall jump?
I’d like to see more creative options like “medicine sedan” or “words wagon”. How about “Psychic Utility Vehicle”?
Sinister: Growing up in the ’70s, my dad and his friends would refer to these as ‘Mafia staff cars’
I would expected the “lane change” feature to be that you get three pulses of light even if you touch the stalk only briefly. I don’t remember ever driving a car where you could not get the blinker to light up by gently pushing the stalk without going over the “bump”.
Those are such good looking cars! I love all the Fuselage Mopars, with these Furys being second to the ’70 Chrysler 300 Hurst edition, like the one my grandfather had and daily drove from new until 1978. I’d love to get my hands on one of those babies!
Hard agree, I want one of those bad boys in my Mopar collection. Fabulous looking cars, and very much my vibe.
Plus all the fun of urging a hogshead to do a pint’s work.
“Sport Fury – When you’ve made it”
I feel like this is actually referring to what these kids’ parents do to each other at little league games.
If Daimler-Cerberus-Stellantis-Fiat-Chrysler-whatever would resurrect the fuselage styling of the 1969-1972 C-body cars and spin off an Imperial brand, I’d be the first person at the dealership dropping trou and assuming the position.
I’m not sure there are enough dollars in the world to exorcise whatever demons have possessed that kid.
The kids are there because only children are nimble enough to climb into the back seat of a two-door. But with these beautiful full-size yachts is was HUGE back there once you got in.
I’m betting child models get paid less.
Also, does anyone recall that awful ESP movie, “The Fury” starring Andrew Stevens, Amy Irving, and Michael Douglas’ dad? These kids look like they’re getting ready to unleash a little psychic hell. Here’s hoping the Fury channels its ancestor and goes all “Christine” on them.
I miss the idea of a “personal luxury car” or a “banker’s hot rod.” I suppose certain German cars still fill this role. But the Fury Sport GT, Monte Carlo, Galaxie 7 liter, and a host of other large, 2-door, powerful cars of bye-gone days are still cool.
That ad looks more like a movie poster than a car advertisement.
I’m thinking
Children Of The Corn II – Roadtrip!
Who’s looking at the kids? Those cars are frackin’ gorgeous, look at them!
I’m guessing they used the disconcertingly overdressed kids to suggest that you once dreamed of wealth and a fancy car in your youth, but what kid in 1970 was daydreaming about the day when they would drive a Plymouth Fury? That’s like a kid today saying they can’t wait until they make it big and get a loaded Camry.
Lil’ miss there is starting to glow. Bad things are coming.
“I’m not even certain the lever design actually needed a change to do this? Maybe? But can’t you really do this with pretty much any indictor lever?”
You can NOW: modern cars allow you simply to bump the turn signal stalk and get a set number of blinks out of the indicators – no holding necessary – but back then it was not universal. To choose a related example, IIRC my ’71 Challenger required the turn signal to be engaged/disengaged in a positive fashion, i.e. with a definitive click.
OTOH, the switches inside the steering column were quite mechanical. I think if the switch were worn the driver could make it make contact without actually clicking through, but this was not really the intended functionality.
Yes – the stalk on my ’84 Ninety-Eight was the same way. It even had kind of a crunchy feel to it, like the detent crumbled away a little each time, but somehow it held up until the car died.
The stalks on my 1969 Chrysler 300 and 1972 Chrysler Newport had to be physically clicked into position to do anything. And yes, once the detent broke, you could still signal but had to hold it in place.
This is a lie. I drive on American roads every day, and no modern car comes equipped with “lane-changing turn signals.” They all come with the stalks, because radical unelected bureacrats, but from the factory the lights do not actually come on when changing lanes. In the incredibly rare cases in which you DO see a signal before a lane change, those lights are aftermarket additions.
The Honda e press car I had didn’t have the ‘briefly press stalk to get three blinks’ feature, and it kept catching me out because my Range Rover (a 2011!) has it.
The Mondial, well the indicator stalk is shorter than the headlamp stalk presumably because Italians consider indicating an afterthought.
I first had it on my 2004 Skoda Fabia vRS. It said it came with ‘lane change function’ which I initially thought meant the steering wheel. Good invention but in my 2012 Peugeot 508 it doesn’t last long enough to get fully in the next lane.
My factory original switch in my 67 Barracuda was the same. The replacement switch (which I believe is still commonly available) does have the “lane change” feature, not a preset number of flashes but the more common (until recently) option to slightly engage the stalk without fully switching it until you were done signaling and then it would return to center.
That kid is like a combo of Richie Rich and Dennis the Menace, basically Dennis Reynolds as a child.
Literally so. It looks as though parts of his face were airbrushed out and pasted on from another take because whoever was putting this together wasn’t completely satisfied with the result of any one take from the photoshoot and at the same time blissfully unaware of the Uncanny Valley.
He’s thinking about when those girls realize the implication of going for a ride with him.
This ad is a supposedly desensitized version of those creepy Chrysler ads form the 60s and 70s. I’ve linked to one right here.
http://www.fuselage.de/imp69/69imp_ad06b.jpg
Just look at the ad. The dirty smile of the dirty old man. The expression on the girl’s face, like a silent cry for help.
It’s the perfect car for pedophiles.
It looks like the kid at the restaurant that pushed a Hotwheels car into the kitchen…
oh, wait that’s me I’m thinking of…
That kid’s expression is justification for every dollar of funding devoted to Precrime.