Welcome back! This week on Shitbox Showdown, you’re in charge of choosing the cars. I’m pulling suggestions from the Shitbox Showdown channel on our Discord server, as well as from Opposite Lock. Today’s contestants are a pair of Chinese-made mini trucks that are, somehow, both street-legal, or so the sellers claim. Hat tip to Oppo member “dogisbadob” for the suggestion.
Friday, our own David Tracy chose the vehicles, or at least provided the inspiration via a cryptic Slack message. We stepped well outside our normal price range to look at a Dodge Viper convertible and a BMW i8 coupe. Comment and vote counts were both high, which I take to mean you all enjoyed the walk on the wild side. I’ll try to add in some more variety to keep things fresh; I know I sometimes get stuck on things that I think are cool, and they’re not always to your taste. That’s what this week is all about.
Voting was closer than I expected from the comments, which seemed to heavily favor the Viper. In the end, the big dumb fun Dodge won, but it wasn’t a landslide. I am firmly on Team Viper, in case there was any doubt. The i8 is cool, but a hyper-sophisticated limited-production car with a BMW badge on it is not my idea of fun. Rowing through the gears on a Tremec 6060 gearbox while listening to V10 noises, on the other hand, sounds like a hoot.
I may have mentioned this before, but I grew up in a staunchly “Buy American” part of the country. “Foreign” cars were around, but viewed with suspicion, and in some cases outright hostility. Most of that animosity was directed at Japanese brands; my family’s Volkswagens and Fiats were just seen as weird, not really evil. The idea of Chinese-made cars being sold in America would probably have made heads explode back then.
Now, of course, there are Buicks and Volvos and Lincolns (oh my) sold in the US that come from factories in China. And Chinese brands like BYD will probably set up shop here any day now. Not to mention that, from what I’ve seen on the country-of-origin stickers on half the parts I’ve bought from RockAuto in recent years, we’ll all be driving Chinese-made cars eventually anyway, one replacement part at a time. But Chinese-built vehicles have been commonplace for decades in one market: mini trucks. The Japanese Kei trucks steal the spotlight, but American companies have been importing similar vehicles from China since at least the early 2000s.
I don’t know much about either of these, but I’ll do my best, and we’ll learn together. Sound good? Let’s go.
2003 Wuling Marathon – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: 797 or 970 cc overhead cam inline 4, three-speed manual, RWD
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Odometer reading: 2,400 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
This one I’ve at least heard of. This little van is known as a Wuling Dragon in its homeland, a license-built version of Mitsubishi’s Minicab kei truck. It’s powered by a license-built Suzuki four-cylinder, at least I think it is; Wuling licensed engine designs from Mitsubishi and Daihatsu as well. It has a manual transmission which the seller lists as a three-speed, though it may actually be four. I found a few forum posts that seem to suggest that the models imported to the US had fourth gear locked out, to keep it under the 25 mile per hour limit for low-speed vehicles. Whether that lockout can be removed or not, I don’t know.
The “Marathon” name comes from Marathon Motors, a company in Alabama that used to import these vehicles. Apparently “Wuling Dragon” sounded too Chinese. It’s hard to find information about the importer, because there is also a company called Marathon that makes electric motors, and the Marathon Motor Works, a concert venue in Tennessee in the factory of the old Marathon automobile company that folded in 1913. Not to mention Marathon Coach here in Oregon, a company that converts buses into RVs. This Marathon appears to now do business as Rosenthal & Associates, though there are hundreds of law firms with the same name, so that search is futile, as well.
Annoyingly, the ad is short on details. We get only four photos of the exterior, showing three different sets of wheels and tires, and a short video of the van doing a burnout (probably with the surface wet, or oily, or something) which likely explains the tire discrepancy. Other vehicles in the background of the photos make me think that this van is at an impound lot or a towing company or something. They do say it has a title, which I think means you should be able to register it for the road.
It looks all right, and it has that same adorable tiny van charm as Japanese kei vans, for a lot cheaper price. And the steering wheel is in the right place. This is allegedly a seven-passenger van, though I can’t imagine actually trying to drive any distance with seven people in it.
2011 Vantage Truckall – $6,500
Engine/drivetrain: 1.0 liter overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: Boyertown, PA
Odometer reading: 9,900 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives fine
I didn’t even know this manufacturer existed before Friday, so I guess you could say I knew truck-all about the Truckall. At least this company still exists, so tracking down information is easier. Vantage Vehicle International is a California-based company that “designs, assembles, and sells” low-speed trucks. From what I can gather, it brings over Jiabao truck chassis and bodies from China, installs the drivetrain, and completes final assembly, presumably so the trucks are “made” in the US, to avoid tariffs.
It’s powered by a 1 liter fuel-injected four-cylinder engine, driving the rear axle through a five-speed manual. This one is supposed to be limited to 25 mph as well, but somehow I don’t think it is. The seller says it is street-legal and has a title. This is the fancy model, with air conditioning.
Surprisingly, for its diminutive size, the Truckall seems to have a decent amount of room inside. Even the back seat legroom looks acceptable, at least to ferry security guards or groundskeepers around a campus, which is what these things are made for. It’s stark and utilitarian inside, but I wouldn’t expect much luxury. It’s all in decent condition, it looks like, at least.
Outside, it looks like any other hard-working truck: scrapes, dings, and a little rust add character to the stark white paint. It has a small bed, but it’s supposedly able to carry a thousand pounds of whatever you need in it. It’s amazing how much stuff you can carry with so little power when you don’t have to move it very fast.
Neither of these is much use as an actual vehicle for, you know, driving on roads and all that. But if you have some enclosed area with a lot of ground to cover, these make a lot more sense than a whole big truck or van. Or, if you want a weird little toy that’s not your typical side-by-side or golf cart, these would fit that bill as well. You just have to choose between the van, or the crew-cab truck.
(Image credits: Facebook Marketplace sellers)
I imagine that at a max of 25pmh, you probably don’t want to go very far regardless of the number of occupants.
Anyway, I want neither of these, obviously. Though I suppose the truck could be handy for the right person who is just driving around the small farm property?
I say Truck-yeah to the Truckall!
“Welcome to Marathon, how may I help you?”
Marathon!
You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick — Four fucking wheels and a seat!
ha ha ha ha!!! I remember when I was 10 years old and we rented that. Grandmother and grandad were also over for Thanksgiving and I got to see their horrified faces when that part of the movie happened.
Yeah, and that was the ONLY reason it was R instead of PG-13
Your Grandparents faces ——> (☉̃ₒ☉)
May I see your rental agreement?
I threw it away!! (ᕘ⸟ᕚ)
I voted truck cause it’s not real money & I miss small ones.
I saw a van quite like this maybe 10 years ago painted just like my old orange VW Westfalia. No logos except the classic round VW on the front—even had cut-down bumpers with overriders. Tie dye curtains & Steal Your Face sticker on the back: really well done—and idly makes me want to try that.
Ummmmm………okay….?
This is a “put a gun to my head” sort of choice, but in that scenario, I’ll go with that little truck-thingie. Only because it looks significantly more weird than the van.
The Trucklet bed would fit an LSx like a glove.
The Truckall only requires a little bit of white tape to cover the T and part of the R to let the world know what you think.
Both too expensive but $6500 for that truck is highway robbery.
*ounding on table* VAN VAN VAN VAN
What’s ounding?
Van because it’s cheaper. NY DMV might have a bit of a snit registering it since it sure looks and performs like a kei car. But who knows, with a PA title and hopefully a 16 digit VIN it well may get plated. I’m not spending my for real $4k to find out.
Yay thank you for using my suggestions!
I wish to maximise my living space Down By The River, and must therefore plump for the Wuling Dragon. If the gearbox is insurmountable, presumably, one can now Overnight Parts From China and everything is fine, yes?
If I am going to waste money on a downsized POS I am going Changali for less money new and pretend I am JT.
Be sure to factor in the cost of an electric chain saw too! (⁎⁀⎵⁀⁎)
Nah I have an ICE chainsaw LOL
You’re a rebel, with your ICE device! !! d(￣◇￣)b
Both are a ton of money for old, beat up speed limited vehicles with sketchy histories, never mind the Chinese oddity factor.
Normally the oddity factor is what attracts me but… these are lacking nearly all the charm you’d expect from something Kei-car-like. I voted the Marathon because it at least has that Kei van form factor, and it’s also at least somewhat affordable?
$6500 for that sketchy trucklet is honestly, bonkers.
I’ve heard of Vantage because the groundskeepers used them when I was in college, along with a similar importer brand MAG.
$6500 seems steep for a used 13-year-old Chinese minitruck in scruffy condition. I went with the cheaper Marathon.
The cheaper one.
$6500 is closing in on kei truck territory. And besides Japanese cars being a better bet for quality, you can get dump beds on those things.
A kei truck with a dump bed is the ultimate homeowner weekend chore truck. Bulk mulch? Pick it up yourself and dump it where you want it. Firewood? Dump it in your own backyard.
This is the truck America needs.
I’ll admit it: if you put a pickup bed on anything, I’m probably going to want to buy it. I guess you could call it Truckall-down psychodynamics.
I have a very rough, as in almost Mr.Tracy rough (not quite but close) Mk V Bentley pick up truck. I have always dreamed that someone would buy it. The crane is no longer installed but could be purchased separately, oiro of, well lets say What have got?
Wait, you have Miss Agnes, but Bentley instead of Rolls?
Beat me to it!
Yes: we need some explanation here, please!
It was a breakdown truck for a garage in Nenthead ( a sort of place in the high Pennines) the car got smooshed up in the early 1960’s and was bodged into a recovery truck, it trundled about towing stuff and being ignored for decades, then it got put in a shed. Mouses liked it, until the cats moved in. Sometime in the late 1980’s it got driven to a different shed, time went on, stuff happened and other than being started and moved when needs must it just sits, It still starts, and can go forward and backward, very carefully because it has forgotten what brakes are, and it only has one usable gear and the ancient damage to the chassis is still obvious.
A “sort of place” makes me curious. I’m in NYC, so Nowheresville in the not-so-jagged British Alps sounds lovely to me.
(looked it up: England’s highest village, at… 1500 feet. Bwahahah.)
Guess where I live! Not Nent, but a bit higher up, and about as alien from NYC as a village in Mali, I really love this place, if you were to visit England come and see me. There are Roman bits, full on Viking bits, coal mine bits, lead mine bits and curlews in the spring, lapwings, sheep( lots of sheeps, and pheasants) and the detritus of millennia, 1500 feet is what it is, and when the east wind blows it is chilly.
Will do. Saw Hadrian’s Wall on a class trip in 1994 so I think I’m overdue for a visit. I will show you the good and cheap chinese restaurants if you make it to NYC anytime.
That is awe-inspiring that a Bentley ‘recovery truck’ exists in a shed in the 21st century. I may be demented, but the thought of driving it to take the dog to the vet or the old hardware store warms the very cockles, it does
Thanks for prompting idle lottery-win dreams 🙂
One day I am going to join the 21st century, I have been putting it off a bit.
I dunno. They told us the future was so bright we gotta wear shades….
But seems like most people have to wear blinders to survive.
OTOH, you can buy absolutely stupid levels of horsepower with a factory warranty 🙂
Nah, man: you have the net—if otherwise comfortable, stay put. I would love to see a Time Team episode in your neck of the woods, though!
I am on a promise, silly thing really this but needs to be done and documented, what is the torque output of a11hp Fowler road engine? Yes I can theoretically work it out but one day I want to put it on a rolling road test rig without the building collapsing. It is something way way above 5000 ft/lb .
Huh. Well, that’s an interesting rabbit hole! Found a fun video of an old steam tractor embarrassing a fancy high-power tractor-pull rig.
I see what you mean, though: the math is doable—but you’re going to need a really sturdy shed to actually test one.
Can’t go wrong with a Travis McGee reference.
Truckall. Because AC.
I went with the Marathon as the Truckall being legal is sus, well both are sus for the 25 year rule but Marathon less sus. Also already have a little truck so could use a little van more, I guess?
It becomes legal in 2028, so keep it on the down low for 4 years and then drive it wherever the hell you want!*
*For the love of god do not take this thing on the freeway
They escape the 25-year rule by being sold as, and at least when delivered, only capable of 25MPH. Which makes them street-legal at least in jurisdictions which allows off-road vehicles to go on-road as long as they’re properly registered/permitted according to whatever rules that jurisdiction has. And for use in large college campuses and other building complexes, it doesn’t even really matter whether they’re legal or not since they never leave the private property boundaries — they stay on the interior streets/parking lots/trails and even sidewalks wherever they fit, just like John Deere gators and other groundskeeping equipment. Which is OK, I guess.
Although it gets kind of sus particularly when state agencies in places where they’re patently not allowed still buy them for on-campus utility vehicles, and then drive them around on public roads between buildings, and out to nearby drive-thrus around state office complexes.
The fashion now is to buy electrified versions of the newest Chinese mini-trucks, under the same low-speed vehicle import rules and use or mis-use them in the same ways. I suppose the electric ones are environmentally a lot better. In use on building campuses, the ICE-powered ones often don’t run long enough at any one time to warm-up fully and get their emissions equipment (if they have any) fully operational. Which isn’t great for pollution. Even lawn mowers at least run continuously so they’re generally not running rich and spewing as much partially-burned fuel fumes and particulates.
The Truckall is, as I understand it, a “domestic,” because the final assembly is done in California. So the 25 year rule doesn’t apply to it.
The Marathon looks nice, but I went for the Truckall because it looks like a nice mix of capability and utility. Both are probably interesting to drive.
Neither does much for me. I am intrigued by what 1-liter motor is in the truck, but beyond that… eh.
Van, I guess?
Judging from the design and usual Chinese means and methods, it’s a 970cc inline-four. Introduced as the Suzuki F10A in the 1978 SC100 and then used in the SJ410 (before it was named Samurai). Known as DA465 or JL465 depending on manufacturer; still in production 46 years later!
I really wish you would issue a warning whenever you post links back to the old place,the site is still unreadable and I really don’t want to give them the traffic either. I read you header as “make-out boxes”,which I suppose either of these would be great at too.. Anyway,I voted for the whateverthepickupwascalled as that is basically the same as the smaller van,but with a bed as well.
Oh look what their featured “story” is today. A list of cars. Who wants to guess it is a fucking slideshow?
Speaking of unreadable: is it my various ad-blocking settings that’s breaking all images on older Jelly Prick articles, or are the images gone for other people too?
I am not really sure. It seems like the massive number of embedded videos and commersials overloads my browser sometimes as well.
The van is a lot cheaper and looks to have a lot less rust, so gets my vote today.
Vaaaaaaaaan