City Demands Man Hide Boat Behind Fence So Boat Owner Has Photoreal Mural Of Boat Painted On Fence

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You know what I hate? Stupid, arbitrary aesthetic rules in communities about things like what color things need to be painted or how garage doors can’t be open or what vehicles can be parked in a driveway. They’re ridiculous. Like the rule that Seaside, California has about how boats must be hidden by fences. Why? Who decided that a boat was so hideous to look at? Are there really people who can’t handle the sight of a boat? Unless a boat is made from rhino intestines and swastikas, I have trouble seeing how anyone would find one offensive to look at. And yet that was the gist of the letter sent from the city of Seaside to the wonderfully-named home-and-boat-owning Etienne Constable: hide your boat with a fence. So Constable, wanting to abide by the law, did just that, but with a twist: he hired a muralist to paint a realistic mural of his boat right on the fence. Because screw you, city.

The end result is something that feels like perhaps what a glass fence might look like in front of the boat, or, really, no fence at all. It’s glorious. A wonderful monument to the beauty of just the right kind of spite, the best kind of subversive compliance that both meets the requirements of the law while revealing the idiocy of the law itself.

Constable got the notice that a “coverage screen” was required to hide the hideous nauticality of the boat back in 2023, and built the required fence and driveway, and the mural was just completed this month. As you can guess, a story like this got the attention of local news:

The artist who painted the mural, Hanif Wondir, also shot this fun time-lapse video of the mural being painted:

I’m guessing the mural used a photo reference of the boat park in situ in the driveway to make sure everything looked just right, and the resulting image feels dead-on, even aligning with the real boat’s railings and roll bar behind the fence.

So far, the city has not contacted Constable to comment on the perfectly legal fence or the perfectly legal artwork shown on the fence, and for his part, Constable seems pretty pleased with all the attention his fence has been getting:

“I’m all in favor of generating a discussion and making people smile. The reaction is extremely more than we ever expected and we’re both just tickled about it.”

Really, I hope this little compliance stunt does make people actually really think about the arbitrary nature of what we decide is “aesthetic” or not. Is a plain wooden fence really more appealing to look at than a boat? Why? A fence is boring, and a boat is at least interesting, and a reminder that people sometimes do things for enjoyment. Why is that considered an eyesore? None of this makes sense to me.

This isn’t even an HOA rule, it’s a city-wide rule, which is worse. We know HOAs can tend to be petty and tyrannical for insipid reasons; that sort of crabbed thinking making it to the city level and becoming enshrined into law is just perverse. And I’m not buying any property-devaluing arguments. It’s a boat, not a tire incinerator or a hillock of cattle waste. It’s just a boat. If you can’t bear the sight of a boat that’s not on your property, then I think you need more help than even a fence can provide.

Anyway, good for you, Etienne Constable. Way to stick it to the man.

 

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157 thoughts on “City Demands Man Hide Boat Behind Fence So Boat Owner Has Photoreal Mural Of Boat Painted On Fence”

  1. I had a friend who lived in an HOA where they had a thing against pickups being parked in view of the street. When he got dinged for his half ton chevy that happened to have a camper top, he replaced the 1500 badges on the door with Suburban badges, He sent the HOA pictures and stated it was the new convertible Suburban. He never heard a word back from them again.

  2. This is why my dream house has enough property that nobody can see what I have parked by my house and I can’t see what they have parked by theirs, so neither of us has any reason to care. Which wouldn’t stop a nosy HOA board member, but then that’s why my dream house doesn’t have an HOA. 🙂

    1. A co-worker has 100 acres pretty much an hour from the nearest city, so covered in trees that you can’t see any part of his property from the road except just a driveway winding into the trees. The region flies helicopters over the properties in the area to see if anyone is violating bylaws.

    1. This was farmed out to an AI in Torch’s basement running on an old Coleco Adam. Unfortunately, someone powered on the Adam while the cassette containing the AI was in the tape drive and the resulting EM pulse erased the AI.

  4. You have to draw the line somewhere, but nowhere near where the city drew it. I salute the constable.

    On the other hand, at our last house, the property next door had a large side yard, and shortly after he bought it, the neighbor had strings running between stakes right along the very edge of our property. This was so he could use every square inch of his land to build chicken coops and sheds and canvas Quonset huts and a new parking pad and a firewood enclosure, all of which caused water to run off to the neighbor across the street and into his basement. This being a rural, laissez-faire town, there was no relief to be had for those of us who never expected to live next to a farmette.

    Everything in moderation, or something like that.

  5. “Unless a boat is made from rhino intestines and swastikas…”

    I can’t speak to the rhino intestines [never thought I’d write that] but the guy to whom I traded my MGB for an HMV Freeway several years ago had this in his back yard at the time:

    https://www.rc-sub.com/projects/viewproject.php?id=34

    which he apparently has since sold:

    https://www.rc-submarine.com/single-post/2017/08/15/u571-filming-miniature-road-find

    While I was there looking at the Freeway he showed it to me and pointed out where someone had defaced the U-boat with swastikas. We agreed this either was an insightful comment in recognition of what the object represented or, both sadly and more likely, was the result of a desire simply to put swastikas on things.

  6. This is a joy.

    I understand why some people might get a little frosty about living next to say… pre Hollywood DT. But this is a pretty nice boat? And it’s… not near anything other than this guy’s house? Weird ordinance.

    A quick search of Seaside, CA, seems like a pretty basic town that is predictably seaside. I was expecting fancy-schmancy ordinances like this to be reserved for towns where the rules are written to keep people out who can’t afford insane things like a garage for their boat. I guess I was wrong.

    1. Yeah. Used to live in that area … Seaside is an average town that actually has no waterfront. It is near Monterey Bay, but separated by Sand City and a park.

  8. It’s so funny to me what constitutes an eyesore. You hear these stories about boats, RVs, and even vegetable gardens. People buy property so they can own it and use it how they want, then they want everyone to use it in the same boring way: neutral paints, neatly manicured chunk of grass, etc.

    The idea that houses must be a constantly appreciating asset baffles me, too. My house is my residence, not an investment fund. I want to live there and enjoy it. Set up the kitchen how I want, not for resale value. Paint it colors I like. Plant things that thrive in my climate, rather than a lawn that needs extra water and maintenance. If I decide to move and need to sell, the next owner can make changes that work for them.

    I appreciate this guy’s malicious compliance.

    1. I like the cut of your jib, mate. I figure if I really need to maximize my resell value, then I can change crap right before listing a house. But I’m not going to live in it so someone else likes it. I especially applaud your landscaping thoughts. I moved in to my house about 4 years ago and have actively been doing what I call “meadow scaping”. I live in a small mountain town. We planted only a few square feet of grass, the rest I have allowed the natural “weeds” to start filling in. Each year, I weed the tall growing stuff out, and leave all the ground cover plants that don’t get above 3 inches tall. Each year I have to do way less weeding. I have a lot of clover and this other stuff that is green/silver in the summer and dark red in the fall. I like the way it looks, I like that its no maintenance. But my neighbors all put in full big yards and maintain the crap out of them. I think they are insane.

      1. That sounds like the perfect way to get nice, low ground cover. I’ve always been a fan of clover lawns–they look nice, they’re low maintenance, and they’re good for wildlife. Seems like your place would look lovely.

        1. Yes rodents, snakes, mosquitoes all the real natural stuff people live. I myself simply cut what grows natural in my yard and landscape with edibles. Tomatoes and green peppers make a nice hedge, strawberries a nice ground cover, apple and pear trees are as nice as other trees and change color, and berry bushes make a nice barrier to other properties.

          1. Clover’s nice for bees, deer, and, yes, rodents and reptiles. It doesn’t tend to particularly attract mosquitoes, in my experience, but I suppose it’s possible. Growing edibles is nice, useful, and tends to also help pollinators and other wildlife. I definitely support that choice, too.

          2. Rodents, snakes, and spiders for sure. I have 4 indoor/outdoor cats who do a magnificent job controlling the local rodent population. Snakes are not as common but I find a dead one on the porch periodically. But my cats do such a good job with rodents (mostly voles and mice) that there are no nests in my project cars, no eaten wiring. Its great. I’m also not terribly afraid of “nature”, so I’m ok with my current results.

    2. I have a house and a car to use and enjoy and not fret 24/7 about resale value. People need to enjoy life not live for resale values.

    3. Treating homes as investment vehicles is one of the reasons the younger generations are becoming increasingly priced out of shelter altogether. Most of the homeless people I know have full-time jobs, but remain priced out of rent. Property values need to collapse to 1/3 of what they currently are to reach parity with the amount of hours of work at median wage it took to buy a home 50 years ago.

  9. Hell yeah…”HO-A’s” is what I call them…they are one of the worst things ever made run by jerks who screw people out of $ over the smallest nitpicky thing…I can’t stand them, so I don’t live in one.
    You would think out of any place that would tolerate a boat, it would be a town called “Seaside”

    1. Like they could be used by a terrorist bomber to hide in? Safety/ responsibility is assumed by the homeowner, and not the city.

    2. We have had too many incidents of kids stealing and joy riding boats on the freeway around here. Someone is going to get hurt.

  11. I think arbitrary aesthetic rules are ridiculous. I also think that people complaining about rules that they knew were in place and chose to live there anyway are ridiculous.

    I also have boats parked in my driveway. But I also know that there are no laws against it, because I looked before I bought the house. But the same lack of laws allows the neighbor across the street to have his daughter to live in a RV parked in the middle of his yard… and for him to burn trash in a barrel…
    So that’s how it goes.

  15. It’s all fun and games until someone parks a moldy-ass shit box RV next to YOUR $4500 per month mortgaged house.

    NIMBY only happens when you HAVE a backyard.

    2. See thats where people get it wrong. I reserve the right to park said moldy-ass shit box RV next to my house. Therefore, I willingly grant that right to others without complaint. If I can, they can and vice versa. I moved to a small town specifically because I wanted that freedom and elbow room. I live in place where people have shipping containers in their yards, and 4 old trucks in the corner of the property. I moved there so I could do the same thing.

      2. I live in a pretty nice Florida suburb, full of mid-century houses. I have a shipping container in my yard, plus 2 derelict cars. I’m probably that neighbor that everyone talks shit about.

      3. I neither want nor can afford a mouldy ass RV. But I can paint a pretty good picture of one on my fence. Thanks for the weekend project tip.

      4. Wait, people who live differently than you are wrong? You chose the neighborhood you live in for the reasons you chose to live there, others do the same. You’re simply advocating anarchy in the face of tyranny, when neither are accurate or right. If you follow? You’re completely correct to live where you want, and I’m completely correct to live where I want. So no one is “getting it wrong” they are getting what they chose. Including both parties in this story, the city is getting the rule followed and the owner is getting his glorious FU to the city. I dislike HOAs but I like looking out my windows and seeing cared for yards etc. Ours is a big OTT about the trashcans, but I was able to read the rules before purchase, so I knew it going in. Anyone who cries about the HOA or city ordnances of a place they not only chose to live, but are likely spending decent money to do so, have zero reason to complain. (not to say there aren’t HOAs that go too far, but welcome to the human race). There is no moral superiority or righteousness on either side, HOA or no HOA. It’s a choice, and we live with either or move to the other.

    3. Not on my property, don’t care. If my neighbor doesn’t mess with what I do, I dont bother my neighbor about what he’s doing on his property, and hope he reciprocates by not bothering me about what I do on mine

      Of course, I only really have one neighbor I can even see from my house, which helps

      1. You say that… but wait until it’s a trash heap that attracts rats and other vermin. Or what if your next door neighbor is just blatantly dumping toxic chemicals…

        Like, I think this boat rule is ridiculous, but the opposite end of “not on my property I don’t care” is equally ridiculous. There’s a happy medium, likely closer to the “not on my property I don’t care” side, that is probably best.

        1. Well, obviously things like vermin and toxic waste don’t stay within property lines, but if somebody wants to park their camper right up against the boundry, or leave a junk car on their front lawn, I really don’t give a crap

        2. True I think we can all agree everybody should just be required to do what I tell them. It’s really the only intelligent solution.

    4. I know a guy who lives in a moldy-ass RV. There’s no house on his property, just 2 huge garages in a sea of derelict classic cars. And he’s like 2 miles from the local race track. Dude’s living his dream.

  16. You Americans, in the land of the free, are so funny. Who cares about how something looks like as long as it is inside your property and is not harming anyone?

    1. “It’s harming my property value, which harms my potential future money, which hurts me.”
      — the people in question (who may be right but I disagree with anyway)

      2. I had a situation with a neighbor in a HOA. I was selling my house and he, a hard working family was not able to keep up with the grass. Now we got along, meaning when we were both outside at the same time we would nod hello. I cold have repeated it. But instead I went over explained my situation and asked if it was okay if when I cut my yard I could cut theirs. They apologized cut the grass that day. Now at the time you needed to cut twice a week so if they didn’t get to it I cut theirs. And at the time I didn’t even have a riding mower.

    2. Most of us who live in rural areas tend to agree 100% with you. Its when you get in to ore snobby areas that people start caring more about what you are doing. It really seems that the more affluent the area, or more affluent the perception of the area, the more time people have to care about what you do in your own space. Most farmers dont’ care if you blow up a truck on your property, so long as you have enough property its not blowing debris on to their fields.

    3. Some of us Americans, in the land of the mostly free, have nothing better to do than bitch about what other people use their freedom for. Then they use that freedom to petition city council to limit others’ freedoms until we are all only free to do what the people with too much free time on their hands say we are free to do. Gobbless.

      1. Some of those fine folks in my small town recently made it illegal to park a trailer, camper, or boat in your driveway for more than 48 hours. I just cannot imagine caring what my neighbor has in their driveway as long as it doesn’t create a hazard, mess with drainage, etc.

  17. The best part of the video was the statement that several other people have contacted the artist to follow suit.

    It’s also nice that this guy can invoke honorifics like “well known patron of the arts” in the future.

    Too bad if this catches on some jackhole in the government will probably try to claim responsibility for all the art.

  18. Wow, that’s an incredibly good painting. They did a really good job with the shading and shadows, even adding the sun filtering in through the trees on the right. Well done.

      1. No the reasoning works so well is the artist is indeed an artist. Not some crank who with a pile of crap who says it is a statement on the current state of society.

  21. Justice would be if the city inspectors came to check his compliance and broke their noses running into the fence, à la Wiley Coyote.

  23. Honestly, having a boat on your property probably raises the real-estate value. It says “people in this neighborhood can afford a boat.”

  24. Dover, Delaware also has a city-wide rule that any trailers not parked on approved driveways have to be completely screened from view of the street and all neighboring properties. Also, no unregistered or inoperable motor vehicles can be parked outdoors

    But, hey, the crime rate makes it more dangerous than 98% of cities in the US, so at least they have their priorities straight

    1. Didn’t mean to piggyback on your line, for some reason no other comments were displayed when I posted, but when I came back after a phone call I saw yours was first. Full credit to you.

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