Designer Lincolns In A Fancy Faceoff: 1984 Lincoln Town Car Cartier vs. 1977 Lincoln Continental Mark V Givenchy

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Towing a British sports car across the country with a pickup truck that’s older than some of the staff members seems like a trip that’s Autopian in every way. Most importantly, it means that something catastrophic is going to go wrong. Our own Mark Tucker is apparently taking such a journey now, and if you’re surprised that he’s stranded somewhere in Kansas with busted brakes, then you don’t read enough of this website.
Anyway, our grease-covered and beat colleague has asked us to chip in with the Shitbox Showdown for a few days, so let’s see what damage we can do to his precious baby.
Objects from fancy designer brands are never cheap. You see someone walking out of a Gucci store with a tiny bag you can figure they just dropped a few hundred bucks on something, but if they leave holding a grocery-store-sized bag you can assume the item inside costs as much as a used car.  In fact, today we’re going to look at actual shitboxes branded with designer names which you can purchase for the price of a much, much smaller brand-new item from the same storied name.  Let’s take a look.

1984 Lincoln Town Car Cartier – $5,500

Engine Drivetrain: 5.0 liter V8 with 140HP (fuel injection, but throttle body)

The Cartier brand is known for their quality timepieces such as the iconic Tank watch, worn by the likes of Andy Warhol and other celebrities. Here’s one you can buy now for a cool $5800; I’d love to get one but it likely won’t help you get to work in the morning. Ah, but this Lincoln Town Car Cartier seems like it could do that in style.

Location: Rock Falls, IL

Odometer Reading: 51,000 miles

Runs/Drives: Like a watch, apparently

This one on Facebook Marketplace appears to be in pretty good nick with a mere 51,000 miles on it and a very clean interior. I actually owned a 1988 model of this very car with a mere 200,000 on the odometer which was a remarkably pimptastic car so one that has one less trip to the moon and back on the clock must drive a treat.
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The ad says nothing about the functionality of the air conditioning, which is the primary reason you would buy a car like this but if this thing has had a much work done as the ad states, the investment of getting that blowing meat-locker-cold would be worth it.
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Man, I had the same interior in my later car, and I do have to say that as dumb as it looks there was nothing like hopping into this thing at seven o’clock at night after a long day at work and just wafting home.
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The only thing that’s a bit of a misnomer to me for a “Cartier Lincoln” not to have an actual Cartier clock on the dashboard. This one has the digital gauge cluster with glowing blue digits, but maybe it has “Cartier electronics” powering the timepieces.  I would hope so since if I recall that cluster costs something like $800 when it “goes bad”.
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1977 Lincoln Continental Mark V Givenchy – $8000

Engine/Drivetrain: 7.5 liter V8, 208 HP (seriously)

In the late seventies, Lincoln employed the services of a number of highbrow designers from major luxury brands to create versions of their luxury cars. Supposedly the unique color combinations and interior finishes were hand-picked by the designers, but if you take the ad copy with a grain of salt there’s a possibility that the Dearborn offices of Ford just sent a large check to the participants in exchange for the rights to the name.  Regardless, the brands like Givenchy survive to this day and still make products with eye-watering prices like this crocodile bag for $11,000.

Location: Linden, NJ

Odometer Reading: 105,245

Runs/Drives: has that in the bag

How much Givenchy branded car can you get for that money? Quite a lot if you’re looking at steel-to-dollar ratio, as this 1977 Lincoln Mark V Givenchy edition proves. Photos show a car not quite as clean as the newer Town Car in our showdown but with this you’re getting a Lincoln from the days before the word “downsizing” ever existed.

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There are tutorials available on how to best photograph a car for selling, yet the owner of this thing does not appear to have read them (or maybe they just missed the helpful tip to “shut the engine hood.”) Also, for whatever reason when I see a Lincoln Mark with Jersey plates in front of a body shop I just assume a body is in the trunk.

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There’s a woodworking project console and an odd gauge someone plopped into the dash above an ominous red button so I am hoping that isn’t some nitrous injection or other such nonsense not befitting a Lincoln. The raised white letter tires also hint at some nefarious activity.

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The wine-colored leather goes well with the Givenchy-spec metallic salmon finish has seen better days but the interior isn’t bad, though when I see a moon roof I automatically think leaks and carpet that smells like the south side of San Francisco at low tide. The interior reminds me of the car used in the Alanis Morrisette Ironic video.

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Regardless, you could likely buy a better car, but not a bigger one.

So what’s it gonna be? Does a luxury car with the name of a fancy clock maker strike your fancy, or maybe a high-end fashion brand is more to your tastes? Or, do you just say forget it and spend that cash on a brand-new luxury item that won’t leak oil on your driveway?

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70 thoughts on “Designer Lincolns In A Fancy Faceoff: 1984 Lincoln Town Car Cartier vs. 1977 Lincoln Continental Mark V Givenchy”

  1. It’s Greenville, IL, actually. Blew a rear wheel cylinder yesterday. I’m at a shop right now, hopefully getting new rear brakes today.

    2. That’s an easy one: Vise-grip on the rubber part of the brake line, as far as possible from the wheel cylinder. Zip tie the locking pliers to something nearby and continue as normal.

    5. Ugh. I guess there is never a “good” time for that to happen, but still. I feel your pain. I had to recently replace all the soft lines on my Ford’s braking system after the front driver side line burst on me. At least your repair is straight-forward..

  2. I’ll go with the newer, cheaper option, but it was a hard choice, actually clicked on the Continental link to look for some more info first, but the ad is down so it must have sold at that price. Town Car it is then.

  4. Normally I would be all over any Mark IV or V, my favs of the PLC world. But too many red flags and a price that is $3K-$4K too much.

    A panther-based Townie, on the other hand, can be kept running with junk yard parts long after I cease running. And the price is more reasonable, if not great.

  6. The TC is a better machine by any standard, regardless of ascribed “designer” status. Beyond that, I have an unequivocal appreciation for kitch, but that Mark V leaves me cold.

  9. I’d say both of these hoopties are overpriced. At least they are for me.

    That aside, I’d take the Town Car. Comfortable, and not pink.

  10. Going Town Car here. It’s not as “special” as the Givenchy Mark V, but it’s probably better at doing car stuff and looks surprisingly nice.

  11. Dad had a later 1990 Town Car, last year with the 302 but in the new body. Midnight blue with parchment leather – and an all steel roof! God that was a comfy cruiser. I want to love the Mark but going Townie on condition and price. BTW – look how narrow the track is compared to the body on the Mark. The TBI 302 is fine, not a powerhouse but reliable.

    1. I will say you are going to get quite a bit more wind noise at highway speeds inside the ’88 than you did in your dad’s ’90, the aerodynamic changes made a noticeable improvement with the new body

      1. No doubt, he also had an ’85 Mercury Colony Park concurrently. The MPFI 302 was noticeably stronger than the old TBI setup and the aero body was worlds better noise wise.

        1. Yes, we had an 83 Colony Park with the vent windows and it was pretty loud at speed. The Town Car had the cool two-part-lowering vent window that was better, but still pretty bad over 65mph

  12. I assume you are using a pencil and paper pad to tally the votes today, so put another tick mark next to the Town Car. Can’t resist couch cushion seating

  13. when I see a Lincoln Mark with Jersey plates in front of a body shop I just assume a body is in the trunk

    That is grossly unfair.

    The Lincoln’s trunk will hold at least 3-4 bodies.

  15. Why bother with anything but a pink pimp sled? Get a purple polyester suit with leopard-print collar and a pair of pink Carreras.

    Make sure you wear them indoors for maximum effect. You don’t need to see the price tag anyway!

  17. I remember these cars handled like they were about to derail and compared to my BRZ that Mark V has almost 4x the displacement, twice the weight, and double the acreage, but the same amount of HP. At least it has more than the Cartier, let’s go pink. Where’s the poll?

  19. Town Car. I’ve never been a big fan of the Mark V styling, and while I don’t mind pink cars, the pink isn’t helping the design any for me. Plus that velour interior in the Town Car looks more comfy to me.

  21. I’ll come back and vote once His Excellency has a moment to attach the poll … but for me it’s the Town Car. Had the Mark V been one of the later Givenchy edition cars with the front-half vinyl roof rather than a traditional Landau treatment, it might have gotten my vote.

    But the Cartier is gorgeous, and not terribly far from me. And those wire wheels are sweet.

  22. I am sure the Givenchy, since it is from New Jersey that there is or was somebody buried in the trunk and taken to the East river.

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