Good morning! On today’s Shitbox Showdown, we’re checking out a couple of the most expensive cheap cars around: luxury cars. But before we do, let’s see how yesterday’s Japanese coupes fared:
Close one, but a clear win for the Nissan. That’s the one I’d prefer too. I mean, it’s got T-tops, a stick, and a digital dash! What more could you want?
The Discord was awash in some interesting choices today, but the prices were a little steep. So I’ll save those for Friday, when we up the ante a little. Instead, today, I’ve found two cars that only could be expensive: an old cheap Porsche and an even older and cheaper Jag. Let’s take a look.
1998 Jaguar XJ8 L – $3,300
Engine/drivetrain: 4.0 liter dual overhead cam V8, five-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Austin, TX
Odometer reading: 123,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep!
“England and America,” the saying goes, “are two countries separated by a common language.” It’s attributed to the playwright George Bernard Shaw, but I don’t think he had British luxury sedans in mind when he said it. Regardless, there is some disagreement over the pronunciation of this car’s marque: is it “Jag-wahr,” or “Jag-you-were?” (All I know is it’s definitely not “Jag-wire” as the local radio ads here in Portland irritatingly say.) However you say it, it’s a name that has come to stand for old-world refinement, exceptional performance, and appalling repair bills.
This is the Jaguar XJ8, the first official V8-powered XJ sedan (those Chevy small-block conversions from the ’70s don’t count). This car is from Ford’s ownership of the famous leaping cat, a time when build quality was decent, but new technologies made the cars far more complex than they once had been. This is the long-wheelbase XJ8, adding an extra five inches of rear seat space to the traditional Jaguar grace and pace. Power comes from a quad-cam V8, fed to a traditional Jaguar independent rear end through a five-speed automatic.
The seller says this car runs and drives very well, and to prove it, they’ve included photos of it on a trip all over the west. It’s daily driven, and has recently received a new water pump, battery, and alternator. Several other maintenance items were taken care of a couple years ago, though there’s no indication of the mileage since then. There is also no mention of the timing chain; Jaguar V8s can have issues with the chain tensioner, leading to expensive problems. Upgrade kits are available, and it would be worthwhile asking if this car has had the tensioner replaced.
And of course, being a twenty-five year old Jaguar, it’s not without its issues, mostly peripheral electrical items. It’s all stuff you can live without, but it makes the car feel cheap and broken, even if it runs fine. On the plus side, it’s in the best color combination for a Jag sedan (fight me), and it’s in good cosmetic shape.
2004 Porsche Cayenne S – $3,700
Engine/drivetrain: 4.5 liter dual overhead cam V8, six-speed automatic, AWD
Location: Dallas, TX
Odometer reading: 200,000 miles
Runs/drives? Sure does!
There was a time when a Porsche SUV would have been an anathema. But this car has been around for over twenty years now, and it has been a big sales hit. Even the Porsche faithful have gotten used to it, and now it’s Ferrari fans’ turn to be outraged at an SUV. And the idea of the Cayenne, an SUV that handles like a Porsche, is pretty cool if you think about it.
This Cayenne is the S model, with a 335 horsepower V8 driving all four wheels. It has a six-speed automatic, with Porsche’s “Tiptronic” manual-shifting option. It isn’t quite the same as having a clutch and an H-pattern gearshift, but it’s better than the mushy 3 speed automatic that too many Porsche 928s got stuck with. This one is said to run and drive well, and with 200,000 miles on the clock, it must have been cared for fairly well.
Another thing that jumps out at me is the receiver hitch on the back. “Porsche” and “towing” didn’t used to belong in the same sentence, but this car has a towing capacity of 7,700 pounds, so it will make short work of your horse trailer or small vintage Airstream or whatever. And it’ll be a hell of a lot nicer to drive when you’re not towing than a Tahoe or something with an equivalent rating.
This car looks like it’s in really nice shape, actually. But it’s a complicated beast, and when (not if) things do go south, the cost to fix it could be exorbitant. Gotta pay to play, and all that.
The nice thing about either of these cars is that they’re guaranteed to make you new friends, either with a specialist mechanic, or with the UPS guy dropping off boxes of parts, if you are more DIY-inclined. But when they’re working, they’re both very comfortable, enjoyable cars to drive, and a lot more entertaining than an Avalon or something. Which one are you more willing to gamble on?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
Oh, hell no. Hard pass on both. Either of these would be like dating a stripper. It might be fun at first, but you will regret it later.
A Ford-engineered Jaguar is kind of like the combination of Bonnie and Clyde: fun while it lasts and very impressive but you just know it’s going to end badly.
But then Porsche: I shan’t give the link because it would go to another automotive website and thou shall not have any others beside Autopian, but the article is named:
Why You Should Avoid the 2004 Porsche Cayenne
(You can look it up)
“…rated the 2004 as the worst version because of the higher cost to repairs and the severity of the problems this year brought…”
So: Prince of Darkness help me – the Jaguar.
Eh, I found Mote Bizkit’s take and believe in proper attribution, so I don’t think there’s harm in linking out, but there’s plenty of harm in not giving credit where credit’s due when you get info from somewhere. Either way, they seem to have aggregated complaints early on in the car’s lifetime. This Cayenne’s made it to 200K. Either those issues didn’t appear or they’ve been sorted, leaving you with old-age problems and upgrades to make instead. There’s plenty of upgrades to be made to these early Cayennes nowadays, anyway, from cylinder inserts that are less problematic (which I’m surprised MB didn’t mention, TBH) to lifts, tents and lights. A Cayenne in otherwise decent shape for that cheap leaves some wiggle room to upgrade and play with it.
Team Parsh. If it were a better color and I had a full-time job, I might be driving to Dallas to get it.
As the owner of a silver/gray 2004 Porsche Cayenne S, I know which I’d choose! The Cayenne is super comfortable, surprisingly fast, handles great for its size, on-road or off, hauls my camping gear and kayak, easy to work on, and I don’t have to worry about anything happening to it. Bought it for $6k two years ago and now with 193k miles, it’s the nicest car I’ve ever owned, and I’ve owned cars plenty more expensive, exotic, or classic. A fantastic bargain!
I’ll take the fancy CR-V
Big Jag’s always got presence. It’s one of those cars I’ve always been attracted to, in the kind of way that you’d be bound to regret if you gave in and acted on primal urges like that.
I can’t resist a feline-named car with 4 round headlights.
I read this entire article in the voice of a bond villain or Jeremy Clarkson. They could be the same. Please someone make a bond movie where Clarkson is the villain driving an old green Jag.
Well first thing, it’s not Jag-wire or Jag-you-were. It’s Jag-you-ARE. And there is no better looking modern vehicle than an XJ Jag. I’m biased, I bought a ’90 Sovereign out of Vancouver in January, and I LOVE it. Climate control ECU’s are apparently made of unicorn tears, but I’ll find one eventually…. If anybody has a climate control ECU for a 90 Jaguar xj6 Sovereign I have cash…
Can’t belive I’m going to say this, but the Jag will (probably?) be more reliable.
…in the sense that the drivetrain has a smaller probability of leaving you stranded.
As the owner of a 1999 Jaguar XJ8 I can say this confidently:
You will love the car… and hate yourself.
Also – LS swap it. It’s waaaaaay more fun than the AJ26 V8 in there.
Later cars (2001+) got the upgraded timing chain guides from the factory so that solved most engine issues, but they still have ZF transmission issues.
Ironically, the XJR is MORE reliable than the XJ8, this is because they got a Mercedes sourced 5spd vs the ZF gearbox in the standard cars…. So a 2001+ XJR is the most reliable of the line up.
I come back to this video periodically because it is wrong in so many of the right ways.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTAXykiqsGs
That Jag is gorgeous, and if I don’t drive it too much, maybe I won’t get killed on maintenance.
I’ll take the Porch. 200k means someone cared enough to maintain it. Being a 1st gen Cayenne means it has real off-road chops under the skin. Some AT tires and it’s good to go play in the dirt. But the P-tax when stuff breaks…
If I am going to spend my time chasing electrical gremlins on an old Jaguar, it will sure as hell not be an XJ8. The Porsche will at least be designed with rationality in mind. English cars? They are all disasters waiting to happen – and it only gets worse the younger the car, with the addition of electronics. You really only have hope for with an English car that is more than 35 years old.
I was distracted when I opened this and thought it was Jag vs an old Hyundai Santa Fe, which is why I’m picking the Jag.
That Cayenne is nice! (I’ll take it!) Both are cheap deals (but expensive to fix of course)
No contest.
Gimme the pretty Texan kitty.
Jag sure is purdy, Ford 4.0 does not have the best rep, but certainly better than the Jag 12’s and even sixes from just before this gen.
But the Porsche seems more sorted and once the inevitable starts to happen, I would just join Mercedes on a gumball rally. Actually I am surprised she is not on the way to get that camper hauler already.
This is like Russian Roulette, but played with a double barrelled shotgun, both barrels of which are loaded.
I vote Jag, it’ll be easier to look over when it’s abandoned on my lawn, and the right colour too.
That jag is certainly the correct color and would be the way to go if I had a stately manor or whatever.
That Porsche, tho. With a few notable exceptions, I’ve tended to always find Porsches generally less cool or interesting than their competitors. I’ve also tended to not like SUVs broadly. For whatever reason, though, I’ve always really liked Porsche SUVs. Maybe the negative attributes of the two cancel out or something? The typical styling cues work really well somehow in a way that many other of their more traditional models seem dull. Easy winner today.
Normally I’d go with the Jag choice here, but since I have an X350 already (and love it), the Cayenne gets the nod, primarily for towing capacity and the ability to occasionally bash it offroad.
This XJ looks very solid, all things considered. The known issues shouldn’t be that bad to sort out; there’s a good enthusiast support system (shared knowledge, good aftermarket parts selection, plenty of junkyard parts donors) for these, and electrics/electronics/climate parts by this time were primarily Denso. ABS is likely a sensor or hub, airbag code most likely a sensor or clockspring. No biggies.
British Racing Green Jaguar is clearly the correct answer.
The only other appropriate color for an XJ Jag is clearly black, as with the ones driven by British actor Edward Woodward in the original Equalizer series…
Jaaaaaaaag (hey, it’s a long one) easily. It looks like something, where the Cayenne looks like nothing.
And for these cars at this price point, you will be fixing things with ridiculous parts costs either way.
I would have all kinds of love for an XJR.
Dang it, this is HARD.
The XJR of this generation is my bucket-list car, and today’s XJ8 is indeed the right color combo. But woof, that is a long list of electrical BS, and I don’t love that it’s throwing an airbag AND an ABS light. OTOH, the Cayenne looks like it’s in amazing (if dull) shape, but the knowledgable citizens of Autopia are scaring me with tales of cylinder scoring.
But I live not too far from Mercedes Streeter, and I figure if things go sideways in the Cayenne, she might want some parts for her Touareg. Plus, Stef Schrader would probably vote “parsh,” so I will too.
Great job, Mr. Tucker!
The Jag owner clearly cared about the car. The Porsche, well nobody cares about another eggplant shaped crossover, no matter the badge.
*I* care about the parsh. I do.
“(those Chevy small-block conversions from the ’70s don’t count)”
Brother have you tried to keep an old Jag V12 running? I get why people did that