Don’t Buy A New Mattress, Become An Autopian Member For $4 A Month And Support Independent Journalism

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This one’s for the commenters. Thank you so much for building what has become the greatest automotive community on the internet. Every time we publish our stories, we’re always delighted to go back later and read the comments, which are almost always witty, thoughtful, and often absurdly thorough.

Commenting is a huge help, as it helps us distinguish ourselves from other sites, but the biggest help to us is becoming a member, especially because solely-ad-based media just isn’t what it used to be. We understand that not everyone can or wants to become a member, and that’s totally cool; we just love having you around! But if you’re interested in becoming a member, here’s a President’s Day discount: $22 off — or $48 for a year of Cloth ($4 a month). Just click here.

[Ed note: Coincidentally, $4 is how much David spends on new clothing annually. -MH]

With this membership you’re not only supporting The Autopian, you’re also getting something for yourself:

  • Access to the Member’s Only email
  • Access to special restricted posts
  • Early invites to events
  • Special discounts
  • Special Discord access
Of course, if you want a badge, t-shirt, or sticker you can become a Vinyl, Velour, or Rich Corinthian Leather member.
Again, thank you for being a commenter and choosing to be part of our congregation!
[Ed note: I just want to say what a screaming hot deal this is, and that we absolutely guarantee all Autopian ComaSleep Mattresses for Fifty Years or Three Months (whichever comes first) and I can just about certainly say that our mattresses no longer have entire hamster bones or traces of asbestos or whatever else those liars at the Consumer Protection Agency said, which were, again, all lies. Also, remember, the American Dental Association (ADA) recommends changing your mattress every six weeks to prevent periodontal disease!
Hold on, Matt’s holding up a sign that says we’re no longer allowed to sell mattresses, and this post is for membership? Can that be right? Seems weird, but, uh, membership is a great deal, too, and I bet the ADA wants you to get that, too. – JT]

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Jason Torchinsky

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41 thoughts on “Don’t Buy A New Mattress, Become An Autopian Member For $4 A Month And Support Independent Journalism”

  1. Just joined on the Vinyl level. I followed David and Torch over from the place that shall not be named and have been following here ever since. Finally in a position to show my support for all of you wonderful humanoids. Keep cranking out the content!

  4. FINE. You got me. Money isn’t exactly flowing at the RV Park but y’all need it more than me.

    Thanks for creating a killer publication.

    1. I was under the impression we members were getting the Premium ‘Lump content. If that’s not the case, I’m demanding a refund to my membership.

      2. It’s all premium ‘lump content—Fisher-Price did nearly call them Little Luxuries, after all—but there’s MORE OF IT in the secret channel.

  11. Speaking as one of the OG subscribers it’s a decision I’ve not regretted and in fact upped my membership to Velour from Vinyl for this year.

    I just got my renewal swag. While I was never going to subject my Jag to a bumper sticker the grille badge is a classy piece of gear and I think that’s going to be installed this coming weekend. Also the Changli and Berkeley auto pins are super cool. Plus a fun t-shirt… so, thanks!

    I know March 32nd falls on a Monday this year but are you going to do another LA gathering like last year on the weekend before?

  12. Dagnabbit, I’ve been standing in line since Christmas to buy my Autopian mattress. The 50-year/3-month warranty was what convinced me to replace my old hamster bone mattress. Now I’m stuck on the old asbestos hide-a-bed until I can find some used coil overs to make a ripoff Autopian Comasnooze.

    1. I’ve been thinking about this a bunch lately. I’ve got lovely style 107 in my laundry closet and a cracked front and rear (107) I’m circling like a vulture for scrap unless someone can make a better home for them.

      Two cracked wheels was enough to push me to get a whole new set, but I’d like what’s left to go to good homes.

      1. I’m with you – Mr Sarcastic has a great idea here! I bet there’s a lot of people here who’d even give away stuff, just to know another enthusiast would have it.

      1. Maybe just a channel in Discord for now? I have a 24 year old Ranger with a 5-speed manual that I can’t bear to send to the crusher. A bearing failed in the engine, and I don’t have the time to do the work anymore.

  14. the comments, which are almost always witty, thoughtful, and often absurdly thorough

    I think that can be true. In fact, it reminds me of a fairly unusual phenomenon where…

    [23 hours later]

    … so really, there was no way to get that part unstuck. 🙂

  16. I’ve been waffling about subscribing as long as you have been doing them, and this finally convinced me. For $48, I just subscribed.

    Guaranteed for fifty years or three months, whichever comes first, is gold.

    1. Let’s all put our original Cloth memberships together, slice them up into tranches, get them rerated by S&P as Velour, then sell them to sophisticated suckers just before the whole market in Autopian membership collapses under its own weight!

  18. “Hold on, Matt’s holding up a sign that says we’re no longer allowed to sell mattresses”

    The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.

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