Welcome back to Shitbox Showdown, where we pick through the used car classifieds in search of a few gems. Today, we’re growing out our mustaches and heading to Oahu to look at a pair of fun European machines. But first, let’s see how yesterday’s battle went.
Yep, that’s about what I expected. While the Echo is a reliable, trustworthy form of transportation, the 330i is a whole step up across a litany of categories. Anyway, back to fun cars for Hawaii. While Thomas Magnum could borrow a Ferrari 308 anytime he liked, we’re on a bit of a budget here. Still, that doesn’t mean we have to forgo fun, quick European cars, as I’ve found a pair for you to choose from.
2004 Mini Cooper S – $2,000
Engine/drivetrain: 1.6-liter supercharged inline-four, six-speed manual gearbox, front-wheel-drive.
Location: Ewa Gentry, Hawaii
Odometer reading: 191,145 miles
Runs/drives? Absolutely
Let’s start off with something truly joyous to drive – an R53 Mini Cooper S with a six-speed manual gearbox. Sure, these Anglo-German hatchbacks can be maintenance-intensive, but they’re just so nimble and joyous to chuck about that I wouldn’t feel bad splashing some cash to keep one on the road.
Powering this German-facilitated reborn British icon is a semi-American engine. Yes, the R53 Mini Cooper S is powered by a member of the Tritec engine family, a joint venture between Rover Group and Chrysler Corporation. With a little extra pep thanks to an Eaton M45 supercharger, this 1.6-liter four-cylinder engine is good for 163 horsepower and 155 lb.-ft. of torque. Not bad for a car this small.
While the body of this Cooper S seems fairly clean, someone’s definitely gone to town on the alloy wheels with a can or two of Plasti-Dip. Add in the unusually green intercooler shroud, and this thing may have been driven hard and put away wet. On the plus side, it looks like it shares a garage with another Mini, so it’s entirely possible that the owner really knows what they’re doing.
On the inside, there’s not much we can see. The seller’s only included a shot from the cargo area, which makes it hard to judge seat wear and whatnot. It’s claimed that this car packs cold A/C and that the electric windows work, but until we get a clearer shot of the interior, it’s probably best to set low expectations.
2000 Mercedes-Benz SL500 – $2,500
Engine/drivetrain: 5.0-liter V8, five-speed automatic gearbox, rear-wheel-drive.
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Odometer reading: 86,000 miles.
Runs/drives? Not on all cylinders.
Moving from ‘feels quick’ to ‘is quick,’ how about a V8-powered Mercedes roadster from an era where Benzes were built like brick shithouses? Yes, it’s the R129 SL500, a 302-horsepower, highway-scorching, music video star of an open-topped cruiser. Magnum, P.I. had the 308, but an R129 was in the music video for “Return of the Mack.” How’s that for star power?
On the mechanical front, things aren’t all peachy with this SL500. The seller states that the car’s developed a single-cylinder misfire. It still runs, but that’s definitely an issue worth sorting. However, the seller also states that the gearbox was rebuilt two years ago and the battery is new. This late-model R129 SL500 comes with Mercedes-Benz’s very stout M113 V8, so I reckon the misfire should be a fairly easy fix.
Also on the list of knocks, the bodywork. Someone has done a number on this SL500’s left quarter panel, with a couple of nasty dents marring this otherwise lovely cruiser. Add in a couple of minor scrapes on the rear bumper, and it seems like the seller could be very well telling the truth when they say they’re listing the car for an elderly neighbor.
Moving inside the SL500, things are looking up. Although the driver’s seat shows minor bolster wear, the passenger seat looks like it’s hardly been used. Plus, the wood veneer’s in lovely shape and the steering wheel still looks reasonably intact. Oh, and the two-tone designo leather’s pretty cool too. As far as cheap Mercedes products go, this has one of the best-condition interiors I’ve seen and it’s an SL to boot.
So there we are, two stylish European cars for motoring about Hawaii. Neither are particularly smart used car choices, so fly by the seat of your pants on this one and pick whichever suits your fancy.
(Photo credits: Craigslist sellers)
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As much as I am glad the Mini exists, I can’t resist a big cruiser. Plus that Mini looks… questionable. Even beyond the green intercooler, lots of stuff on the radiator and such that leaves me… Iffy. Plus the Mercedes will likely be easier to get parts for and I have a neighbor who runs a really good body shop to get the rear quarterpanel in shape.
As I understand it, fuel is quite expensive in Hawaii. So I’m gonna go with the Mini in this case.
Where’s the polls? This one will get people of a certain political persuasion engaging in conspiracy theories.
It’s a damn shame, that body damage on the Benz. What a beautiful color, without the dents it would be an easy choice. So the Mini by default. Either way, you are praying to automotive gods here.
The Mini would be a blast, but I’ve only seen one or two in the past year and a half with over 100k miles that hasn’t developed a misfire, fuel problem, air leak or much worse.
I’ve been shopping for one for about 18 months now. Lots of them around 120k with engine problems. I’ve shopped literally dozens of them.
Either they’re on borrowed time once they hit 100,000 miles, or the current owners are keeping every single good one around here.
100% agree. I owned a poorly maintained R53 Mini that had 140K on it when I bought it – it was the most fun driving car I’ve had, but it sucked so much money. The previous owner deferred about every maintenance item imaginable.
I replaced every sensor on it when I purchased it (it misfired horribly under boost – bad MAP sensor, among other things), it needed all new bushings and ball joints, so off came the subframe. I decided I should replace the supercharger oil since it had 140K on it and I had no clue when it was done last – there wasn’t any left and the supercharger was toast. The radiator is completely plastic and leaked – also replaced. Then the clutch went out. As soon as I got the clutch replaced it needed CV axles. Replacing the CV axles the ring in the transmission case that retains the axles stripped out (so it needed a new transmission).
At this point I’d spent a truly ridiculous amount of money on this car and couldn’t justify a new transmission and away it went.
The color on that Merc is stunning. I know that owning an old high-end Mercedes is a quick descent into madness and bankruptcy, but damn that’s pretty. Gotta go with the big Benz here.
Currently have a Mini convertible (triple blue, S, 6MT), so I chose the SL for variety sake.
Damn, this is a tough call.. I’ve owned 6 R53 and love them to pieces, but that SL500 is a car I’ve gawked at since I was a kid. Either way, cant go wrong. The Mini is the devil I know, but the SL is a drop top which is what you need in Hawaii. I’ve never been so torn.
Funny, I’m currently scouring the interwebs for Mini #7, my Bolt is way too reliable and I’m looking for more excitement.
I have to go Mini. I remember taking a Cooper for a test drive and it was an absolute joy to drive. I imagine the Cooper S with more power would be even more fun.
At home, I’d pick the Mini hands down. But for cruising around a tropical island, that Mercedes is just too tempting.
Having recently bought a ’15 Cooper S, I have to go with the Mini. Just too damn much fun to drive. While a ‘vert would be nice on a tropical island, zipping around in a quintessential “(somewhat)slow-car-fast” just seems like too much fun.
Mercedes. This is cheap enough to roll the dice that the repair won’t be too painful. Could have a nice cruiser for pretty cheap. I’d even leave the dent, it is a driver, not a show car.
A 200k mile Mini is a bigger gamble to me. Yes, I see there are two other Minis in that garage, but that probably means the owner knows to cut the 200k mile one loose.
Both scare me, but the third pedal puts the Mini over the top.
Ugh. Y’all know I absolutely love this generation of SL but for island driving I’m going with the manual drop top that’s running on all cylinders. Hawaii is an extremely pleasant place to drive. When my wife and I were there last summer for our wedding and honeymoon I looked around for weeks to try to find a manual drop top to rent but I couldn’t. We wound up in a Camaro SS instead…a fair compromise
The mini doesn’t look capable of dropping a top… Unless you have plans for a few sawzall blades. I am with you, but 200k on a mini suggests to me that it won’t be running for long. The Benz needs a coil or something and will last another 100k.
The first new car I ever bought was a ’03 Mini Cooper S. It was also the most unreliable car I ever owned. Among other things, when engaged in a bit of spirited driving, the electric power assisted steering liked to cut out mid-turn, which kept things… um… interesting. So, of course, I’ve gotta go for the Mini Cooper.
Poll added.
My write in vote is for the Mercedes.
I know what they say about cheap German cars, but given no choice in this case, Mercedes for the easy win! It will probably be less expensive that the tired MINI to maintain even if the answer is an LS with a custom oil pan.
I have to go Mini. Sure the Benz only has 86K miles on it but that just means it’s a year or so away from the magic 4th maintenance cycle when EVERYTHING needs to be replaced from the water pump to the shocks to the brakes and all points West of those. It also has that too-expensive to fix quarter panel damage that will be a sour note everything you walk up to it.
The Mini? Well, the optimist in me says that everything that breaks on them has already broken and been replaced at least once, so you should be good for a while.
Write in votes count!!!! Merc for me.
Mahalo Mercedes! The Mini is cute and the supercharger is intriguing, but for about the same money, I’ll take the Mercedes: way more comfortable, much more power and much more fun. I bet you’re right about the misfire: perhaps replacing the ignition coils and spark plugs would do the trick? For that kind of money, I’d be willing to find out. A little TLC and that cruiser would be a lovely place to spend time in on the highway.
My write-in vote goes to the Mini
For the asking prices, I’d have to say either of these is worth a try, though it’d likely cost more to get ’em to the Mainland than to buy them….
The OG Mini Cooper — well, at least “original” in the reborn, enlarged version — was a ball to drive, better IMO than the later turbo-cars. And the M-B was a fine cruiser, which I can’t imagine being able to fully enjoy in Hawaii, where short-ish distances and low speed limits are the rule, not the exception.
I’d take the Mini, though. The Merc strikes me as just plain too big for just two people. And that manual transmission gets me every time. Wish I could have scored a similar bargain when I bought my beater!
Too big? Nah. It’s just right.
The poll isn’t showing up, but I’ll vote for the R129 when it does. I like those cars more than I should, and this one is in a cool color with a nice interior too.
As bad as that Benz is, the Mini has an even worse reputation and could cost just as much to keep running.
BMW should’ve put that Mini body on an Echo platform.
This is an interesting choice if you factor in the cars’ location as part of the decision. Given my island tastes, Mini.
More cargo space for the stuff I’d do, way easier fit in most of the parking spaces/garages in urban Oahu, and likely will attract less of the wrong sort of attention when you go off the beaten path (like say out Leeward side).
But really, no mention that Magnum’s buddy Rick drove an SL for most of the show’s run?!
Owned a Mini in Waikiki, you’re not wrong.
I had a girlfriend who’d lived in Waimanalo before moving to the mainland, we’d go back to visit like once a year.
We once got “upgraded” to a rental SUV…okay I thought at the time, but I still recall the difficulty trying to stuff it into the parking garage at the Curry House off Kapiolani one night (she loved that place)!
I want to vote for the 7 cylinder Benz since I prefer something more comfortable than a Mini, but the listing photos scare me (dents, rust, torn upholstery, etc.). The Benz clearly lived a hard life. It would make me nervous even if it ran perfectly. The appears very well maintained. The lower price and 3rd pedal also make the Mini more appealing. The Mini is clearly the better choice.
Hey, uhh… no poll?