We made it! It’s Friday, which means it’s time for us to do something a little special. Today, we’re celebrating the start of New York Fashion Week, in the only way we know how. But before we get to today’s supermodels, we need to finish up with yesterday’s Brits:
Surprising win for the tatty Triumph! Lots of you loved the cute-as-a-button Minor (I know my wife did), but in the end the allure of open-air motoring and some actual horsepower won the day.
Today’s theme was suggested by reader MaximillianMeen, who was shocked to hear that I had no idea that today marked the start of New York’s famous Fashion Week. Sorry, Max; I am not a dedicated follower of fashion, unless flannel shirts from Costco are in this year. I am, however, a Kinks fan, if that counts for anything.
It seems that automakers will try just about anything to make their cars seem special: high-performance variants, stripe-and-wheel packages that look high-performance but aren’t, special editions commemorating this and that, and the focus of our studies today, the “designer editions” that were so popular in the 1970s and 80s. There are still some around: I have recently become the proud caretaker of a John Varvatos Edition Chrysler 300, though it will surprise no one who knows me that I had to look up who John Varvatos is. I do, however, remember the two cars we’re going to look at today, one with a tie-in to famed jeweler Cartier, and the other to leather and handbag specialist Mark Cross. Like all things with designer labels, both of these are ridiculously overpriced, but we’ll let that slide today.
1979 Lincoln Continental Mark V Cartier Signature Series – $22,900
Engine/drivetrain: 400 cubic inch overhead-valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Medford, OR
Odometer reading: 61,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep!
1979 was a bad time to be selling a personal luxury car. Gas prices were up, the economy was down, and if that weren’t bad enough, John Travolta was popular. I was six years old, and even I knew shit was bad. And in the midst of all of this, Ford Motor Company was trying to sell a two-door luxury car the size of an aircraft carrier. Miraculously, they managed to move nearly a quarter million of these over the course of three years.
This Cartier Series is one of several designer series Mark Vs sold, alongside editions from Bill Blass, Givenchy, and Emilio Pucci. Each designer series had its own color schemes available, and while I generally am not a fan of white cars, I think this works. The Mark V is such a grand and bold design that it doesn’t need further embellishment. And the white leather seats against the blue carpet is just fabulous.
This Lincoln has only 61,000 miles on it, and it’s just about spotless. It’s powered by the smaller of two V8 engines available, a 400 cubic incher topped with a two-barrel carburetor. Ford’s monstrous 460 was also available, and it got a four-barrel. Transmitting the engine’s power and torque to the rear wheels is, of course, an automatic transmission. Only three speeds; this car pre-dates overdrive automatics.
It’s more than nineteen feet long, it likely gets single-digit gas mileage, and it’s too much to use every day, unless you’re a fictional oil tycoon. But if you’re looking for sheer presence, nothing else even comes close.
1985 Chrysler LeBaron Town & Country Convertible Mark Cross Edition – $15,000
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 2.2 liter overhead-cam inline 4, three-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Riverside, CA
Odometer reading: 18,000 miles
Runs/drives? “Like a dream!”
Taste. Refinement. Subtlety. These are all qualities that no one in their right mind ever associated with the K-era Chrysler LeBaron. Lee Iacocca may have had a winning business formula, but his sense of style was sometimes a bit, well, gaudy. Chryslers of this era adopted a “more is more” approach to styling elements. But if you’re going to get wet, the saying goes, you might as well go for a swim.
The Chrysler LeBaron, and its Dodge 400/600 sister, brought the American convertible back from the dead after six long open-air-less years. Originally powered (if you can use that term) by the K-car’s standard engine choices of a Chrysler-made 2.2 liter or a Mitsubishi 2.6 liter four, the LeBaron got a much-needed infusion of horsepower in 1984 from a turbocharger and multi-port fuel injection. It was about a fifty-percent increase in power, taking the LeBaron’s performance from dismal to merely adequate. (Though I do have a soft spot for turbocharged Chryslers from the mid-80s, due more to the circumstances surrounding them than the cars themselves.)
I wasn’t exaggerating with the name of this car above; that’s really it. This car has more names than Dumbledore. The Town & Country part refers to the exterior fake-wood treatment, with the Continental kit apparently being a rare factory option (I wonder why). To find the Mark Cross part, you need to look inside.
The interiors of ’80s Chryslers was always the best part, and the Mark Cross edition has nice comfy leather seats, and is embellished with little logos on the door panels. The seller does say that it runs and drives perfectly, as you would expect with only 18,000 miles on the clock. And you can rest in the knowledge that, no matter how the rest of the car may hold up, the sound system is indestructible.
Honestly, I don’t know who the buyer is for either of these cars, at the prices they’re asking. You have to really love the car, and have the money to spend, and that’s going to be a rare combination for either of these. But for the sake of argument, let’s say you have the money. Which one is going in your garage?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
Um… Er… Gross? That Le Baron is just far too much and far too crappy a car all around. Lincoln isn’t really much better, but the right wheels are at least being driven. That’s about the only plus I can see with either of these.
It would be LeBaron but my god, that tire on the back is goddamn hideous.
Although the price is outrageous, Lincoln all the way. I have always found the Mark V attractive.
If I was forced at gunpoint to choose one of these paeans to excess, it’d be the Lincoln. I’m getting up in years and it’s nearly time to switch from driving sensible cars to sporting about in the biggest thing I can find. I’ll have to swap my CDL for a Coast Guard Commercial Pilot License, but the Mark V is much safer for plowing through storefronts when I succumb to pedal confusion, so it’s worth it. I also like that it takes up at least two parking spots (four if I park diagonally). If (when) I run over anything or anyone, it’s unlikely I’ll even notice. Plus, the Lincoln will send Prius drivers into apoplexy. The LeBarren has none of these qualities, though it does inspire fits of laughter.
I would so LOVE to turn that particular Lincoln into a hot-rod Lincoln, at least in performance. I want it to keep the look, but upgrade powertrain, brakes and suspension. Then drive all over the country visiting every auto museum in the 48 contiguous states.
Find a junked late 80s/90s F350, E350, or motorhome with the fuel-injected 460/E4OD combo, and perform an underhood malaise-ectomy on the Lincoln’s drivetrain. I had this drivetrain in my 1992 Club Wagon XLT, and it was one of the stoutest combos I’ve ever owned – you don’t want to know what ungodly weights I towed or hauled without a complaint. Sumbitch could pull your house off its slab with the A/C on and never breach 200°. Silky smooth, super reliable, and nearly 400 ft/lbs of torque to move this white whale effortlessly down the highway.
Not to mention being a nod to heritage; the 460 started out as a Lincoln passenger car engine, and one of the few American big blocks to start off in a car before being offered in a truck and not the other way around.
She’s trading her MG (hey) for a white Chrysler LeBaron
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, jacket
I have always loved the Lincoln Mark series of Continental and while the Mark III is my favorite, the Mark V is a quite lovely car also. I would go with the Lincoln.
I didn’t know you could get a MkV with a 400. I thought the 460 was the only engine option.
Lincoln all the way on this one. The outrageous personal luxury coupe is a vehicle that needs to make a comeback.
The Lincoln is at least something that will turn heads and it is probably a comfortably highway cruiser, albeit slow and horribly inefficient.
The Chrysler is a K-Car. John Voight jokes aside, there is no universe where that car is worth $15k.
I miss luxobarges. Great for cruising the potholed roads of America while sitting on a comfortable couch.
With the basketball court sized hoods, they’d be good candidates for EV swaps since they could pack in tons of batteries.
I miss ’em, too.
#flashback ahead#
In 1982 I was a HS senior and was lucky enough to hang out with college girls. One early Sat morning, one of them decided she wanted to visit a friend some 5 hours away. A couple hours later I’m floating up I81 at around 100 in a white on white MarkV when we climb out of the valley fog and see the sunrise. Open sunroof, Boston on the stereo while a Hot Chick* in a Little Black Dress doles out bumps off her pinky fingernail.
Yeah, I voted Lincoln
*language reflects the time, not my current attitude
Um, hot chicks still exist?
(puts on Turbo Dodge fanatic hat)
(SPITS OUT ALL THE COFFEE.)
(CONTINUES SPITTING OUT COFFEE.)
I’ll give you $5k, and that’s only if you’ve got service records back to new and actual proof it’s 18k and not 118k.
And you’ll fucking like it.
Hard to choose either, in light of their asking prices, but Lincoln, since a weekend car may as well have presence.
A different old question came to mind, though, so my answers to that…
F: Chrysler, with the drivetrain swapped in from my buddy’s Neon SRT-4. Wonder whether a hard enough launch would flex the body enough to crack the windshield?
M: Lincoln, with a Tesla drive unit in back and the two-car garage underhood used for cells, electronics, and a bit of storage, not that it needs a frunk.
K: Most of the old oily bits. The C6 can go to a good home in a drag car and the low-mileage turbo K motor should last a few laps on a LeMons track.
This is one of the toughest ones yet!
I’ll have to go with the Chrysler, because it is more audacious than the Lincoln.
Both cars are gussied up versions of pedestrian vehicles. Neither one is of Noble birth.
But the Chrysler went all out. Convertible. Turbo. Fake Wood on the outside. Continental kit. You have to just laugh at the audacity of Chrysler on this one.
That LeBaron is giving off “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” vibes….
https://youtu.be/0M0FfQzSngM
The Continental is peak malaise era but at least it’s not a K-car.
Give me that Lincoln all day! I’ll cruise around with the Love Boat theme blasting out of the 8 track player.
I still have nightmares of replacing the head gasket on those 2.2’s, Yes, they were easy, but doing 3-4 a week was vomit inducing.
OTH, racing the linc. at the local NASCAR track was a hoot.
I think you know what I picked.
The K car is cheaper, so you’ll only be flushing $12,000 down the shitter instead of $19,000. That’s the level of NOPENOPENOPE I have for both of these turds.
Prices on both of these are ridiculous, but I’ll play along, even if I wouldn’t pay along.
A well-built (for the time) luxobarge vs. a lipstick-wearing pig of a K car? No competition here: Connie all the way.
Wow, two days in a row with a convertible that’s not worth voting for. If I gotta overpay for either of these, I gotta go with the carrier – er I mean Continental.
I heard John Voight used to own that LeBaron, so I voted LeBaron.
John Voight, the periodontist?!
Both of these seem to be priced by someone who claims to “know what they have”, and I am not nearly as passionate about either as their current owners seem to be.
However, the fashion theme got me thinking: What designers would pair well with cars today?
First thought: Kirkland Dad Jeans edition Toyota Corolla. Not flashy or even stylish, but it’s reliable and good value. The only catch is that you have to buy a two-pack of the cars.
How about a Tommy Bahama edition Corvette? Too on-the-nose?
Joking aside, I feel like a Carhart edition pickup truck would do really well. People who do heavy outdoor work seem to love both Carhart clothing and pickup trucks, and the same is true for suburbanites who want to cosplay as people who do heavy outdoor work even though the closest they get is spreading a couple bags of mulch in their front lawn.
God help us if they start doing sneakerhead editions… actually, that is probably a thousand dollar idea.
Columbia Sportswear Subarus would sell like hotcakes in my neck of the woods.
A Patagonia edition probably would kill.
They already exist, from the late aughts.
There is a Carhartt edition Silverado already.
I really want a boat, but I’d probably take the K-car.
I remember K cars when they were new, when they were about 10yo, 20yo, and beyond and they were always krap. The ‘K’ certainly didn’t stand for ‘Kwality’.
Lincoln for me. I remember driving these too and they were absolute boats but something about a car being half a block long and only having 2 doors has always tickled me.
If I’m going to pay WAY too much for one of these, then it’s clearly the Lincoln. There’s something about those big ol’ Continentals that’s really cool, while the Chrysler is, well, a mid-80’s Chrysler. I wouldn’t want to be seen in it, much less own it.