If people from the distant future ever dig up information on cars from the late twentieth century, they would think that affluent people of this past society drove cars with the most shiny bits on them. However, they’d also conclude that the richest members of society drove cars with the names of higher-end clothing or luxury products on them. They wouldn’t know why, and I’m not sure either, but it was everywhere.
This mutually beneficial way of combining brand equities was a win-win for the names that got exposure for their products as well as the car companies. The automakers really lucked out since most of these “special editions” required nothing more than a different paint scheme and different upholstery inserts that cost pennies on the dollar of the premium they charged to allow you to drive a Warner Brothers Venture van or Eddie Bauer Bronco.
In retrospect, it looked like you couldn’t have a top-of-the-heap car back then that didn’t have a tie in with some big-name brand. American Motors–always looking to make something out of nothing to stay alive– gave us a Gucci edition of their rather lowly Hornet sort-of-wagon, the Sportabout.
This special edition is typical of the genre with the tape stripes, logos, an interior that looks like is was outsourced to a local boat upholstery shop and even a patterned headliner. I could be wrong, but it truly doesn’t look like Gucci’s creative director flew out to AMC in Kenosha to analyze the piping on the seats before production.
For some reason, Ford’s attempts at doing this were most notable. I particularly remember the “Designer” Lincolns from my childhood. As a kid, they seemed like magical handcrafted beasts made to the exacting specifications of some big-named fashion designer before I was wise enough to know that they were just cash grabs.
Of these, the most infamous might be the versions by American designer Bill Blass, since they marked the first appearance of the “Carraige Roof” that “recalls the classic convertible.” Translation: a fake ragtop complete with phony top bows and stitching. Even after convertibles came back into production (after Detroit feared the NHTSA would outlaw them) this dumb accessory continued in popularity through the ’80s.
Later in the decade, there was a DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince track with the lyrics:
So I combed my hair then I brushed my teeth
Threw on my Fila suit and my Fila sneaks
Threw on my Fila underwear and my Fila hat
Then I ran downstairs and kicked the Fila cat
Ford must have taken this seriously since they offered the FILA Thunderbird, where you could dress like your car and vice versa.
By around the year 2000, this branded-car trend began to dissipate, but there were still a few notable examples remaining. One that came up last week was a 2002 Harley-Davidson branded Ford F-150. Thomas wrote about this truck in detail, in particular the example below which had 55 miles on the clock and sold recently for $46,250.
This boomer-baiting special had the requisite stuck-on trim, wheels, and graphics combined with different upholstery on parts of the seats. At least in this “special edition” there was some mechanical massaging as well in the form of a detuned Lightning motor. Still, even with the low mileage and engine that seems like a stratospheric figure for something like this.
The surprising auction results on a truck had me thinking that there might be something to the idea of reviving this whole motorcycle branding thing. This will be awful. Let’s take a look at how bad it could get.
Jeep Grand Cherokee Indian Scout Edition
With Harley having already found a dance partner for this branding game, we can always look at competitive brands of old-school cruisers for “special editions” of everyday cars. Indian motorcycles might be a good one to choose, and collaborating with Jeep seems like a good American-American-fuck-yeah combination. Better yet, we can make a Jeep Grand Cherokee Indian Scout model, taking culturally appropriated names from both brands and putting them into one potentially offensive vehicle (though still not as bad as Jeep’s earlier “Commanche Eliminator” model that seemingly celebrated Native American genocide).
Two-tone paint like on the Scout bike, black wheels, and big logos with the “Indian head” on each side complete the package. As a kid that grew up in Northern Virginia, it looks a bit like a big Washington Redskins football helmet. If you’re the kind of owner that loves to drive onto a college campus and park at the humanities studies building with the intent to stir up shit and pick fights, this is the special edition SUV for you!
Suzuki Jimny Hayabusa Edition
With such a legendary name as “Hayabusa” under their umbrella, it’s a surprise that Suzuki hasn’t done an automobile tie-in yet with this ultra-powerful bike. Let’s fix that with the Jimny Hayabusa Edition!
We haven’t seen the likes of the Jimny since the Consumer Reports-reviled Samurai was last sold in the U.S., but this mini-SUV is still going strong overseas. The Hayabusa Edition adds low-profile tires, a dramatic two-tone paint job to match the bike, and silver finish running board trim to simulate motorcycle exhaust pipes. Damn, I bet this thing hauls ass with that Hayabusa mill under the flat black hood, right?
Well, no. As a typical “special edition”, the Hayabusa Edition would be mechanically bone-stock. If anything it might be slower with the extra weight of those add-on rocker panel things. Come on, if it really were fast, we’d need to make an underpowered tribute to that as well, right?
Honda Odyssey CBR Edition
This one, despite being a joke, almost makes sense. First of all, the Odyssey is still the top-of-the-heap choice for enthusiasts wanting (or, let’s be honest, needing) a minivan. Not that the graphics on the Odyssey CBR Edition with fake carbon fiber hood and BMW 2002 Turbo-style backwards bumper logo don’t look ridiculous, but the bike connection has a practical application.
You can certainly fit a motorcycle into a minivan, but doing so is easier said than done. The CBR edition solves that by having a sort of “tray” that you place the bike on that electrically pulls into the back of the van from a winch in the spare tire well behind the front seats.
The tray could be removed and replaced by seats for when you aren’t carrying the bike (plus that tray can catch any road debris that could soil your van’s carpets). Better yet, the bike can stay on the tray to roll around your garage easily.
Yamaha YZF-R7 EDITION GB1K GRAND PIANO
So far we’ve looked at brands that can get the trickle-down effect of their superbikes onto bigger, more pedestrian products. Typically those products are cars, vans, or SUVs. But what about brands with an even broader range of products, like fine musical instruments?
Here we have the Yamaha GFX-R7 Edition Grand Piano. White finish with bold graphics and lightweight composite casters, as well as carbon fiber keys and titanium components inside for high-performance concerto playing. Our own ivory tickler on staff, Rob Spiteri, has tried one and after pounding out a few Rachmaninov pieces claimed that the R7 “was agile and played like a piano half its size”. Impressive!
A New Trend?
Rising values tend to indicate changes happening in the market. That Gucci AMC Sportabout shown at the beginning of this post sold for $22,000, a value equally as confounding as that high-dollar auction Harley F-Series.
Could I be on to something with these ideas, or am I in fact “on” something as many readers have surmised? Either way, the branded special edition still has some life left in it. Automakers too chickenshit to try it are likely missing out.
Our Daydreaming Designer Creates The Minivan Of Motorcycles – The Autopian
You Won’t Believe How Hot Second-Tier Street Trucks Are Right Now – The Autopian
How I’d Build A ‘Big Wheel’ For Adults Using Modern EV Technology – The Autopian
Has anyone ever seen Bill Blass clothes? I think Bill Blass was invented solely for Lincoln to have a designer version that they didn’t need to pay royalties to an actual designer.
Ford does still have the King Ranch F-series. Ranching is a business.
As for a future mash-up, how about a Nissan Rich Energy Altima?
King Ranch is the name of an actual ranch.
https://king-ranch.com/
Well, yeah, that was my point. The King Ranch is real, and ranching is a legitimate business. So the King Ranch F-series is a genuine automaker/non-automaker mash-up still in production today.
On a separate note, I thought of another idea for a Ford designer edition: The F250 Powerstroke Diesel: Diesel Edition! It comes in all black with a unique headlight/grille that looks disinterested and bored in anything you say and is generally condescending to people.
That gold striping on that Grand cherokee sits on that line SO PERFECTLY.
Hyundai Elantra – Oil Tanker Edition
OH MY GOD, how did you miss the Pierre Cardin Javelin/AMX? https://www.hemmings.com/stories/2012/03/02/hemmings-find-of-the-day-1973-amc-javelin-pierre-cardin-interior
Odessy fireblade and YZF piano are hilarious
Tesla/Windows XP Millennium Edition. For any of their models, they all are just plastic and one screen.
Maybe a Snap-On Alfa? Harbor Freight XJ?
The Yamaha YZF piano is chef’s kiss but by all that’s holy don’t do a motorcycle theme BMW. I don’t want the memory of my beloved Airhead desecrated by a giant nostriled yuppie mobile.
Pornhub Hummer anyone?
I think that Land Rover would be a more appropriate partner for Indian.
You had me at the Odyssey CBR, but lost me with the Yamaha grand piano.
I lost myself at the grand piano. I’m still laughing.
Also, hello autopians! Finally found where all the good folks ended up after the Old Site ????
Waiting for the Taco Bell Toyota Taco edition.
With extra hot sauce and grease please.
You know, the Honda Odessey actually looks really nice with that CBR livery. I’d buy one if I was in the market.
If there is a piano company that would do tie ups I would expect it to be Fazioli. I mean they made a Panda piano https://m.facebook.com/Showcase.Pianos/photos/have-you-seen-our-panda-piano-yet-itll-leave-youbamboozledcome-see-it-at-our-abe/10155808967997471/
Ford totally didn’t get their money’s worth. An actual Emilio Pucci designed interior would be fantastic. It would make the Porsche 928 Pasha interior look beige by comparison, I mean look what he does with socks.
https://www.pucci.com/en-us/products/fiamme-print-tights-3ege023e703050
The “Yamaha YZF-R7 EDITION GB1K GRAND PIANO” For. The. Win.
You know, Yamaha also makes electric guitars, and there’s probably space in the Venn diagram of motorcyclist — electric guitar players that would buy that.
I have known someone with a Stratocaster and a Vespa in matching shades of blue, with matching white stripes.
The Yamaha logo is actually three tuning forks set 120 degrees from each other. So they got started in the music business first. I thought it was skiing first since the logo resembled a snowflake until I was corrected by a friend who rode off-road motorbikes. Now it’s a big conglomerate.
Paging Peter Egan…
Bishop, you really missed an opportunity here. As I noted in a recent comment, the Odyssey name was on a Honda ATV before it graced a minivan.
You blew your chance to go full Xzibit with, “Yo dawg, I heard you like Odysseys, so I put an Odyssey in your Odyssey.”
But does the Hayabusa Jimny come with a removable racing cap over the back seats?
I rather like the Hornet Gucci edition. The Cherokee Indian edition is genius.
I suggest, humbly:
Or Chevrolet Beretta Beretta
oh, I know: Ford Mustang Mustang Edition.
Nothing goes together like a German clothing company and American pony.
Keeping with fashion related, I still remember Mercury and Nautica tie up. Subaru and LL Bean. Then there is the Range Rover Holland & Holland.. I wonder why there isn’t more tie in like that in the States.. they would sell like hot cakes.
Toyota completely missed its opportunity for a Whole Foods Prius in the late 00s…
Ford Eddie Bauer, too. They seemed to be popular in the 90s-00s.
My wife had a L.L. Bean Outback
Yamaha actually builds nice pianos. Various attempts by makers to use special materials have pretty much flopped: pianos are very much a traditionalist niche instrument. I can’t think of any place in a piano that would benefit from using titanium. Possibly a titanium plate might work-but that’s an enormous volume of metal—and purists would decry the tinny sound. There have been some advanced composites used in the actions over the years: Mason & Hamlin made some very lightweight & fast actions in Rochester NY a few years back, but fine adjustments were a pain. With wood actions, I could wet & heat pieces to do that. And rebushing was a pita: might as well just buy a new piece.
I rebuilt pianos for 15 years, so do have an idea of what I’m talking about.
>I did love seeing a 100+ yo rim mold (B size, iirc) still being used around 2010 when I did a week course on installing PianoDisc at the M&H factory.
edit for historical note: Alco did team up with at least one manufacturer and made aluminum plates for small upright pianos. Small uprights aren’t noted for their sound anyway, so maybe that kinda worked. Had to be expensive, though
I’m thinking titanium for the wheels on the low-profile casters.
Yes, 1941 Steinway here. Cleaned up enough to be presentable in the living room, tuned up well enough for the kids to play, but the full refurbishment quote we got was laughable; could get two nice, better sounding 1980s Yamahas for the cost.
Of the just over 100 pianos I restrung, more than a third were Steinways because of the brand recognition and they hold their value. One of his sons was an early marketing genius—and here we are. As purely a technician* not a player, there were other brands I prefer. Mason & Mamlin up until around the 80s are built like tanks, and produce a bass that absolutely thunders. Chickering was a bit of a tinkering genius: tried all sorts of interesting variations on actions: cool stuff for a nerd—and really great sound imo, but you don’t want one of his limited-production actions because parts just don’t exist.
Don’t ever buy a square grand as anything but furniture: a very primitive & clunky action, so hard to play and they don’t really sound great. All that said, pianos are purely subjective: if you like the touch & sound, that’s the piano for you.
*due to carpal tunnel, I can’t play: hurts too much. I told people I was effectively a mechanic who can’t drive. Sadly, our customers were dying off, and I couldn’t make any money at it: I have tripled that income this year—my 8th in hvac. If I could make this money fixing pianos, I’d be back at it in a flash as I absolutely loved bringing back people’s family heirlooms. Only time in life I actually considered myself a craftsman was when I rebuilt & restrung an 1860s square grand: painstaking & tedious, but the result was museum-worthy. And the family loved it: so worth it!
I feel like there needs to be a new Eddie Bauer Explorer and a Live Wire Lightning
For years, my father happily drove an Eddie Bauer edition Explorer as a member of the original target market – he was an avid outdoorsman who actually had shopped there and even more so, when it was a sporting goods, not just clothing, store.
I have to say, I would cast a look at Yamahas (perhaps snowmobile or ATV inspired?) selection of clarinets.
My dad just bought an Odyssey last week and it’s turd brown. We nicknamed it the Shuttlecrap Galileo. I’d suggest he get the CBR livery but then that would ruin the nickname.
There should be a Kia Soul Haband! Edition