Good morning! Today we’re in the Sunshine State, the Land of Awesome Headlines, the Realm of the Hanging Chad, looking at two completely useless toys. Why? Because yesterday‘s low vote and comment count shows me that you all don’t care about boring-ass “normal” cars any more than I do. So screw it; let’s get weird.
But we’d better at least look at the results from the yawn-fest. It was close, almost within the range of sheer probability. Fess up; how many of you just flipped a coin to decide? Or voted for the Subaru because it wasn’t silver? Or voted for the Jetta because it wasn’t a Subaru?
For me, it’s no contest, and I think I was probably a bit biased from the start in my presentation. I’d take the Jetta any day of the week and twice on Sundays between these two. I don’t mind slow cars if they handle well, and I prefer simple drivetrains. I’ll forego the Subaru’s slight foul weather all-wheel-drive advantage to avoid all the other baggage that comes along with it.
All right; enough of that. Let’s check out some sketchy shit from Florida.
1989 Suzuki Sidekick – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: 1.6 liter overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, part-time 4WD
Location: Orlando, FL
Odometer reading: 100,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great, but head straight to the tire shop
Suzuki’s little Jimny mini SUV took America by storm when it was introduced in 1986 as the Samurai. Everybody loved the little Japanese 4×4 – well, everybody except the killjoys at Consumer Reports. The biggest complaint about the Samurai was that it rode and drove like that mining cart that Indiana Jones rode in. Enter the Vitara, sold in the US initially as the Sidekick, with an independent front suspension and coil springs in place of the Samurai’s primitive straight axles and leaf springs.
This suspension arrangement, especially the independent front end, makes lifting the truck more complicated. It can be done, however, and this one has been lifted, a couple inches it looks like. It has also been repainted – badly – and somewhere along the way it lost its rear bumper cover. It also wears what might be the worst tires I have ever seen on a car that’s being sold as drivable. Dry-rot doesn’t even begin to cover it; the tread is coming off in chunks. I’m amazed they’re holding air.
The good news is that the little fuel-injected 1.6 liter Suzuki engine runs great, and sends its power to a five-speed manual gearbox through a brand-new clutch. Whoever did the work was smart and replaced the engine’s rear main seal while they were in there. It’s always a good idea to replace things like that while you have the thing apart, even if it isn’t actively leaking. Because, invariably, shortly after you put it all back together, it will start leaking.
You don’t expect luxury appointments from a little beach 4×4 like this, and the Sidekick doesn’t disappoint. Gray plastic abounds, rubber mats cover the floors, and there’s probably not an ounce of sound-deadening. The advantage to an interior like this is that it’s durable; there isn’t much to break. It starts to look like hell after a while, but everything probably still works.
2016 Polaris Slingshot – $3,000
Engine/drivetrain: 2.4 liter dual overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: Hollywood, FL
Odometer reading: 5,100 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives fine
This goofy-looking thing is a challenge for regulatory bodies: It’s clearly street-legal, but as what? It isn’t really a car in the traditional sense, with its belt-driven single rear wheel and near-complete lack of bodywork, but it does have traditional car controls including a steering wheel, three pedals that do what you’d expect them to do, and a shift lever in the center console. So you can’t call it a motorcycle either. Instead, it occupies its own category: “autocycle.” You can drive it with a regular driver’s license in every state except Massachusetts, which requires a motorcycle endorsement. Some states require you to wear a helmet, some don’t – but honestly, you’d be mad not to.
This first-generation Slingshot is powered by a General Motors Ecotec four-cylinder, backed by a five-speed manual transmission. 173 horsepower in something several hundred pounds lighter than a Miata, with only one rear wheel to put the power to the ground, sounds like a recipe for donuts to me. I get the feeling it would be fun, but maybe tiresome after a while. The beauty of a really lightweight old sports car like an Austin-Healey Sprite or something is that you can go balls-out through a school zone and no one would bat an eye. Give this thing the beans at the wrong moment, and it could teach you a dangerous lesson.
Inside, it’s primitive, and – one would hope – waterproof. You can get a roof for these, but this one is open-topped. There’s barely a windscreen, and no wipers. Get home before it rains, I guess. This one has only a little over 5,000 miles on it, and the seller says it’s in perfect condition.
I don’t see many of these here in Oregon, even during the dry summer, but I hear they’re popular in some areas, and often driven obnoxiously. You certainly won’t blend into traffic no matter how you drive it. This is not a vehicle for introverts.
You could technically commute or go grocery shopping in either one of these, I suppose, but it’s not really what they’re for. They’re toys, one for the dirt and one for the pavement. Which place would you rather play?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
Assuming the price on the slingshot is real I’d buy that, sell it at market rate for a 4-5x profit, then buy the sidekick and a Pontiac Solstice / Saturn Sky with what I had left over.
I don’t know what all ya’ll are smoking.
Both vehicles are toys. One of these is 27 years newer, has no cosmetic or mechanical issues, and is acres under MSRP, and is the cheaper of the two.
That Sidekick is a veil of tears waiting. House paint roller garbage cover up, shitty tires, unknown lift kit. I’m sure the roof is questionable. All the rubber parts are likely dead.
Everybody is making judgments based on drivers and previous annoyances. Within context, the Slingshot is a much better buy.
Well the Slingshot is obviously a scam. But beyond that, the value found in not having to be seen in or tell people I own a Slingshot is worth whatever the alternative option may be.
According to public records, VIN 57XAASFA4G5107702 is owned by a “Debra,” who is not listed in the Ad. However, “Debra” owns 8 other cars at present, including 2 mercs, a BMW, and a range rover.
She also got a load of tickets last May. Maybe she’s unloading her fleet through “FRANCISCO”?
Source: am lawyer with access to public records searches.
Hubby bought it, put it in her name for reasons and now their lawyer told them to get rid of that ticket magnet.
Her hubby isn’t named “Francisco,” unfortunately.
I would pay $3K not to be seen near a Slingshot for as long as I live.
I’d pay $3k to bring it to Michigan, flip it for $10k, and buy something else.
This is the answer
It doesn’t matter what it looks like when you’re taking it to the race track in closed trailer.
This, right here.
That slingshot has to be a scam, but who would want it anyway?
Even though the slingshot is priced low (screams scam btw) I’m still going with the sidekick. Because 100% of the people I know or see driving slingshots are asshats. Either driving like morons or people I’ve met that have little to no moral compass. Just my anecdotal experience but because of that I wouldn’t consider it. Which is a shame because they look like they could be real fun for about a day.
I had one behind me going in to our local Cars and Coffee last month and his speakers he had added were so loud I couldn’t hear my own radio while sitting inside my car. I hate them with a passion
Yep; I have encountered a few Slingshot owners and they all seem to be cut from the same cloth. The last one I talked to suggested that I get him a job and also mentioned that he was in some legal trouble because “someone had mailed him some drugs.”
You know how it is, you sign up for the Drug of the Month Club, you forget you signed up (because you’re high, probably) then a month later all these drugs just start showing up in your mailbox. It could happen to anybody!
So was that similar to the BMG or Columbia House CD club? Ha ha
They got me hooked, I was in both and signed up multiple times and probably still have some of the CD’s
The Sidekick, it’s cheap fun while the only Slingshot I’ve seen in Oregon was being driven obnoxiously by a mid life crisis type who should have known better.
I must live close to a business that rents out Slingshots, because in summertime they are constantly driving past my front door, always with the stereo playing some godawful music on full blast. I despise them. Hence my choice goes to the other one, whatever it may be.
Sidekick, no contest. My grandpa had one that he kept around the farm, it’s the car we always drove around in when I came down to visit. Once I started driving I had to get behind the wheel. I remember that it idled so high that you didn’t even need the gas pedal to set off from a stop, just let off the clutch. I also remember the way he used to change gears…he would go 1-2-5 and the whole thing would shake and vibrate until he built up enough speed.
Alas, he gave it to his wife’s (not my grandmother) loser son, who totaled it.
I wouldn’t be caught dead in a Slingshot and I would want everyone to see me in a Sidekick. Easy choice.
Screw Consumer Reports, I’ll take the grown up Samurai! Seriously, I remember when that came out, as long as you don’t drive a skinny, jacked-up, jeepish vehicle like a sportscar it won’t tip.
Even if you do drive it like a sports car these things don’t have enough power to flip themselves. Source: my first car was an 88 Samurai, if you could flip a stock one I would have, more than one…
Consumer Reports staged the whole thing, and I’m still mad about it.
I have a feeling the Sidekick would be a lot more fun overall. Replace the tires and just go for it (send it?). Interior doesn’t look half bad for what these were new and likely no rust if central FL – that is what killed them up north.
Sidekick. I’d bomb that little mine-cart around like I stole it.
Besides, the Campagna T-Rex is a 1000x better 3-wheeler than the Slingshot https://campagnamotors.com/en/rr-characteristics-2024/
Morgan 3 wheeler for the win to be honest! S&S/Harley V twin on the nose and WW1 fighter plane looks. The Slingshot is an aggro monstrosity.
I would also drive a Morgan like I stole it! And probably be crushed under the wheels of some SUV for my troubles. Alas.
Something is wrong with that price on the Slingshot. It may be missing a 0 on the price. The price for that should be over 20K, unless something is wrong with it.
I went Suzuki, because I love tiny convertible SUVs, but man that slingshot is cheap!! Both would be awesome
I’ll take 4 wheels please.
I am very very suspicious of that 3000 for a slingshot. These things go for a mint new.
I love the Tracker/Sidekick. This was my favorite beater out of all of them.
I went Slingshot because the Tracker is priced way too high for a paint-roller repaint that needs tires.
That said, one could have fun modding the eff out of the Tracker. I gather some GM V6s fit….
I already have a motorcycle for open-air shenanigans that’ll run circles around that useless slingshot, so I voted for the sketchy Suzuki. Seriously, anybody thinking about a slingshot should just get a damn Miata.
My neighbor has a red Slingshot and he loves it. It comes out to play every once in a while with him driving or sometimes buddies take it out for a spin. Everyone in it is smiling, so there is that. It looks like a lot of fun and for 3k? Not any more dangerous and way more useful than a quality E-Bike. Good times!
That Sidekick seems to be wheezing out that it has seen a hurricane-adjacent day or two, up close and personal, in its day. Bad times!
Also, it’s very amusing to me how many of the readership claims to be all about utility and longevity as right near the top of the list in qualities of a ride, yet for some reason are so concerned about how they are portrayed by other people, clutching pearls about how they might be perceived. I mean, “Heavens To Betsy!”. It’s so odd.
I think your choice of vehicle says and projects a lot about a person. I would rock a Miata and couldn’t care less what fools would think of me, but I do not want to convey the message that a Slingshot sends. Essentially, I care about the opinions of those I respect.
IMO the Slingshot compromises in all the wrong ways. I can’t drive it 80% of the year in the midwest, and when I can I can’t use it for car things.
Run to the grocery store? Where would I put the groceries?
Take my kids ANYWHERE? I have two of them, so yeah no…
Drive to work? Well I WFH, or occasionally from an office 2.5 hours away seems like a really uncomfortable ride on the highway that long, and what if it rains when I’m two hours away from home?
So that leaves me driving it maybe twice a month staying mostly close to home? I’ll take ANY car with four seats over a Slingshot.
I don’t think you’re allowed to wear a helmet with the Slingshot. I think you have to wear one of those flea-market visors with fake Guy Fieri hair sticking up out of the top.Sidekick by default.
Slingshots are everywhere in Michigan, which is kinda confusing given our climate half of the year. 3k for one seems like a steal, but it’s a steal in the same way that you could take a bag of bowling balls from your local bowling alley if you wanted. Sure it’s “worth” something, but in the meantime it is a big, bulky pile of ugly taking up room in the garage.
Catch me in the Sidekick instead.
Tires are typical for a state without safety inspections. Between the things I’ve seen in FL (cars crab-walking down the highway or giant SUV with the rear of the car perpetually bouncing/hopping, even an old chevy that had been t-boned and just had the resulting crater between the 22″ wheels on the driver’s side simply sealed with plastic sheeting and duct tape). And what I’ve seen in MI (you can just see into most of the cars through the rust perforated or entirely missing lower-half of the doors). I’m OK with the hassle of annual inspections in my state.
It is NUTS what you see on the road down here. That’s what happens when half the drivers on the road are barely insured and often driving without a valid license.
In our southern state, we used to joke ‘if it rolls, you can drive it!’.
I voted for the Slingshot, but that price seems suspiciously low.
I wouldn’t turn the Sidekick down either, but the crappy repaint seems a bit suspect as well. What’s it hiding?
Yeah 3k seems too good to be true except you end up with a Slingshot at the end so you can’t really call it “too good” in any context.
$3.56 in depreciation for every mile driven based on MSRP of $21,199. If he really enjoyed those miles there should be more of them on it. These seem to me to be too much effort for the reward. I had a co-worker who bought one because he wanted a bike but had physical limitations that kept him from riding. That is the only use case I can see where one might make sense.
I’d buy the Slingshot for track days, if nothing else. Y’all seem to forget how fun a lightweight toy can be for the price of lap fees.
That said, I’d still drive the Slingshot whenever I felt like it, and to hell with those who judge me for cheap thrills.
Sidekick.
I’m already nervous driving my Miata in traffic. I can’t imagine driving a vehicle designed to meet zero safety standards with a tail-happy rear wheel that will often bounce from the road surface when I straddle potholes and road imperfections with my front two tires.
I’m going with the Sidekick, despite whatever oddball color it is supposed to be (tan? orange? off-white?).
The Slingshot is simply a vehicle I cannot appreciate nor fathom owning.
Give me the Suzuki. Every slingshot driver I’ve ever seen likes to think they’re Batman, so it’d lose to anything else for me. EVEN a K-car.
Correct. I wonder if there are any photos of this thing at night. $20 says it lights up like a vape store, which is an easy $20 because of course it does, they all do