I have great news to tell you. All of your hard work over the years is paying off because tonight, a man in a highlighter-yellow trenchcoat will meet you in the back alley of a Walmart to give you a present. See, the man has observed your work as a sewer inspector and thinks you’ve done a bang-up job. So, he’s going to hand you more than enough money to buy all sorts of crazy vehicles. The only stipulation is that you have to spend the cash on vehicles that aren’t cars. So, what kind of boat, plane, train, or motorcycle are you buying?
Today is a great time to be and become a motorcyclist. The variety of motorcycles on the market and the prices associated with them means just about anyone can enjoy two wheels. Want disgusting, life-threatening amounts of power? Swing a leg over a Kawasaki Ninja H2. Want to feel like you’re riding a time machine? Janus Motorcycles and Royal Enfield have plenty of classically styled fare. Even if your wallet isn’t bulging, you can get affordable motorcycles, too. A Honda Navi is technically $1,807 and if you don’t mind something old, you can still find used bikes under $1,000. Electric, gas, cruiser, or adventure, there’s a bike out there for everyone.
My motorcycle wishlist is almost complete. I achieved my dream of owning Suzuki’s failed rotary motorcycle experiment. I also have my favorite Buell creations, a lovely Royal Enfield, and a stupidly big power cruiser to make me have all of the giggles. Now, I have two more two-wheeled fish I want to catch next year. I’d love to pick up the cheap and cute $3,299 CFMoto Papio SS and one day, a Honda CBX. The CFMoto is an easy one, but it’ll be hard to find a CBX for the sorts of prices I like paying for vehicles.
Aside from that, I need to get back into the cockpit of a Cessna.
The flight lessons themselves aren’t too expensive, it’s combining them with renting the plane. My instructor would love for me to fly every week, but I don’t have the kind of dough required to spend $500 a week on lessons. Even $1,000 a month is a bit pricey. Thus, it’s been a while since I last sat in the cockpit of a plane. Pilots call this getting “rusty” and in terms of rust, I’m probably one of the cars David left in Michigan. So, the next time I fly, I’ll be flying to get back to where I used to be before I can advance forward.
There are also so many other vehicles I’d love to buy or at least drive. I want to get into the engineer position of more locomotives and boats sound like a ton of fun, too. If someone gave me a stupid amount of money, I might even buy a Kenworth T2000. Do I need one? No, but look at that design!
Here’s where I turn things to you. There’s a whole world of vehicles out there that aren’t just cars. Getting on a motorcycle is easy. I would recommend taking a Motorcycle Safety Foundation class first. This will not only teach you how to ride safe but also give you an idea if riding is even for you. You can also learn how to command a boat or fly a plane. In this scenario, you have all of the money you need to do that!
So, are you going to buy a boat, train, plane, or motorcycle? Maybe you’ll buy something else, like a mining truck, submarine, or a mobile crane?
Top graphic images, clockwise from upper left: Honda Grom (Honda); Bede BD-5 (Andi Siebenhofer/public domain); Kawasaki Versys 1000 (Kawasaki); Rutan VariEze (Stephen Kearney/Wikimedia Commons); Yamaha AR195 (Yamaha); Handsome Stock Fella (Cookie Studio/Stock.Adobe.com); Seahunter 39 Tournament (Seahunter)
Motorcycle- i like small strange stuff. I currently have a CT125. But as for another, ill take a Suzuki VanVan 200. Love the fat tire look. And the fat rear bolts right onto the front for a BW200.
Plane- P51 replica powered by an LS or Honda J35. D-Day or flying tigers paint please.
Boat- buy the remains of CV-67 john F Kennedy to fly my plane off of. Ill outbid the scrappers bid, so mine for 2 bucks. Its a bit rusty, so maybe I will rechristen it the Autopian Special Ship David R. Tracy.
A carbon fiber P51 Mustang Replica of course.
My younger self fully approves!
Since it’s “or” and not ‘and or’ It seems you can only pick one.
A custom very small all aluminum houseboat with a shallow draft and ‘landing craft’ ramp for ease of loading and unloading along with an aluminum wingsail to move about.
I honestly don’t need much space to live comfortably.
No budget worries? I’d buy the Queen Mary and have it extensively updated and modified to act as my classy library yacht/villainous lair.
Motorcycles and planes are a no go for me. All power to those who enjoy them, but they’re not for this clumsy doofus.
Boat, I suppose the question is whether or not I can afford to basically have someone tow, launch, dock, and repeat with something large. I’m going to guess no, and I’m certainly not buying a truck to tow a boat.
So I’m going to request something like a Lund Adventure aluminum fishing boat. Something I can launch onto the various lakes in the ADKs and enjoy fishing with a small group, or to just sort of tour around with. I could easily tow that with the van. Super simple to maintain (at least compared to your typical fiberglass lake cruiser), and it should be pretty versatile.
I’d go catamaran.
Once upon a time would have loved a motorcycle (I’m an avid cyclist), but don’t trust anyone on the road.
Only one of the above – I have never really had an interest in learning to fly, and I have had too many friends either killed or broken to pieces on motorcycles in accidents that weren’t even their fault, like getting run over at a stoplight.
GMC motorhome with an LS swap, towing a Chris Craft speedboat made of gleaming wooden sex.
Plane. If I’m going to fly, I want to be the pilot.
I am going to take the money for a yacht and then change my mind at the last second and use that yacht money to buy me some bikes.
First a modern Brough Superior (the Rolls Royce of Motorcycles)
https://www.brough-superior-motorcycles.com/en/brough-superior-models/
Next a Confederate Motorcycles P51
https://www.combatmotors.com/online-shop
Can’t forget everybody needs a Ducati!
So a Ducati Street Fighter V4 S
https://www.cyclenews.com/2023/04/article/2023-ducati-streetfighter-v4-s-review/
And finally a BMW R18 for long lazy rides
https://configurator.bmw-motorrad.com/index_en_BB.html#/configurator/0L11/P0ND2,S07A6,S0994/SE_TEXT
Hope there’s some money left over though…to pay for the divorce proceedings.
If it can be acquired out of thin air: 2006 Ducati PaulSmart 1000 LE. It looks like there is 1 for sale in the US right now, out of the 2000 built worldwide.
I’ll also take a fully fared 07-09 Ducati Sport 1000S, but there might be fewer of them.
I would get a small catamaran sailboat. I’ve been obsessed with Hobie Cat 16’s ever since I learned to sail with one when I was a teenager. Every few years I rent one but I just don’t have the space to store one.
Sailboat.
You get quite a lot for the money. And you can sleep onboard when the endlessly increasing maintenance costs eventually result in the loss of your home.
Boat: a hole in the water into which one pours money
I have absolutely no interest in motorcycles because I could not be trusted with one. I’m sure I would have a blast for a little while but I would inevitably return to monke and wind up releasing myself from this mortal coil, albeit with a shit eating grin on my face.
…all jokes aside I know 4 different people that have died on them, 3 of whom were still teenagers. The other was in her early 30s. I know there are plenty of responsible riders out there but in the DC area I don’t think the risks are worth the potential rewards. Maybe I’d get a nice slow boomer cruiser of a bike if I lived out in the country.
Anyway, the answer for me is jet skis. An entire fleet of them. I love jet skis. They’re a blast and I’ve been riding them for almost 20 years at this point. I know how to have fun on them without winding up in the obituaries and my family has a pair of Seadoos that I ride all summer long. It’s literally impossible not to have fun on a jet ski.
Seconded on the motorcycle. If I was going to learn to ride one it would have been long before having kids, certainly not after.
And your mention of jet skis reminded me of the Sea-Doo switch pontoon boats. Those look like a blast, and they’re small enough/light enough to be towed by a van. I would love one of those.
Tons of folks in the area where my family has a house/keeps the jet skis have pontoon boats and they look like a rip roaring good time. I have relatives/family friends with serious boats and they are an enormous amount of work. The cool thing about jet skis is you pretty much just have to flush them after every couple of rides and winterize them if you’re keeping them in a place that gets cold. The effort to fun ratio is quite reasonable.
Edit: just looked up the Switch and it’s damn cool! Slash the Sea Doos we’ve owned since 2020 have been completely problem free so I’m beginning to think they’re pretty decent products.
Yeah the Switch seems like the fun of a pontoon without the tremendous size. I’m not sure what the maintenance is like for those, but if it’s similar to a regular jetski, but boat, that seems like a pretty reasonable thing to own at least in the world of boats.
I saw one on Lake George this summer and I was honestly pretty jealous of it. Looked like a ton of fun.
A non-street-legal dune buggy. If that’s still disqualified, then a helicopter of some type.
If the budget is unlimited, then obviously some sort of large boat/yacht. I could hopefully come up with the cash to fuel it and rent a slip on the lake, I just can’t/wouldn’t pony up the purchase price.
If it has to be realistic, then probably a fancy SxS.
No real interest in planes, motorcycles, or other wheeled contraptions.
Get a glider rating for your pilot license, it’s 70% cheaper than getting a regular private license, especially if you’re already trained. It’s also way cheaper to rent and launch a glider (or used to be) for an hour or two of soaring than a Cessna rental. Plus, you’ll gain some valuable flight skills that will serve in both powered and unpowered aircraft and it is so, so peaceful. Anyway, a less expensive way to keep your hand in and it all counts toward total flying time.
1st. Royal Enfield diesel. 2nd. Yamaha DT400. 3rd. 1st generation Hayabusa. Next I would probably need a casket, because that busa is definitely going to kill me.
I already have several motorcycles, so of course I want to get some more motorcycles. The appropriate number of bikes is always (the_number_you_have + 1). 🙂
In no particular order, I’d like a Yamaha RZ350, a carbureted* Kawasaki GPz1100, and some of the JDM 400cc sportbikes you covered a little while ago. I remember drooling over the Honda CB-1 – the spiritual successor to the 400f – when it came out, so maybe one of those as well.
* the early fuel injection wasn’t great
That is also the rule for guitars! The perfect number being X, and (X)=number of guitars you own + 1
I have a relation who works for a fancy guitar effects company. Thank goodness there’s a lending library of pedals because otherwise he’d own a mighty pile of them.
Airplanes. Lots of airplanes. Spitfire, P51, DC3, DA62, RV8, Cub. Just a few to start.
Ah, doing one that includes motorcycles huh?
Ducati 1098. “Base”, S, or R. R preferred, but I’d take whatever version I could find.
I don’t have my motorcycle license, and honestly I’ll probably screw it up should I try to riding it.
IMO, best looking bike ever though. And the sound is to die for.
Boat. Specifically, one of those wooden Chris-Craft runabouts from the ’50s, with the wood so polished it looks as deep as the Mediterranean itself.
And an old Caterpillar 245 front-shovel excavator, because my dad designed the bucket linkage for it, and had a patent on it even, and that would be a cool thing to own.
The old Chris-Crafts are nice (I grew up with a ’57 Century Resorter at the dock), but if money is not an object you should go with a Riva Aquarama. Also, hope you like refinishing. Every third winter we spent alot of hours in the garage stripping all the brightwork and interior, sanding the entire boat, applying a coat of varnish, steel wooling the entire boat, another varnish coat, and reinstalling interior/brightwork. After my brothers and I got out of college, and weren’t free labor anymore, the ‘rents bought a fiberglass SeaRay.
Perfect timing! Sherp recently released a new model! (It floats and it isn’t road legal, so it isn’t a car!!!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oh_nnWBxZA
Tough one. I will assume main money is included.
Aircraft G800 (have someone fly me to my destination, loan out to friends, avoid TSA)
Super C Motor home (when I want to drive or have a home base)
Slingshot with trailer for Super C.
Boat make me sick.
I have almost no interest in boats, and have never actually set foot on one. So give me some dumb pontoon boat i can hang out with my family on.
Airplanes? i know even less! Gimme one of those funny little airplanes they have at the Air & Space museum.
Motorcycle: I would like a Triumph Rocket 3.
Well, I already have three motorcycles in the garage and I have zero desire for a boat. Sounds like it’s a plane for me! Probably a nice new TBM 900 series.
This is the right answer – a Pc-12 has a larger interior space, but looking at the specs on the newest TBMs it looks like they have made them even easier to fly. If money was more of a concern it may be easier to dry-lease the PC-12. for charter operations or the Piper M600 may be a few cents less than the TBM.