I have great news to tell you. All of your hard work over the years is paying off because tonight, a man in a highlighter-yellow trenchcoat will meet you in the back alley of a Walmart to give you a present. See, the man has observed your work as a sewer inspector and thinks you’ve done a bang-up job. So, he’s going to hand you more than enough money to buy all sorts of crazy vehicles. The only stipulation is that you have to spend the cash on vehicles that aren’t cars. So, what kind of boat, plane, train, or motorcycle are you buying?
Today is a great time to be and become a motorcyclist. The variety of motorcycles on the market and the prices associated with them means just about anyone can enjoy two wheels. Want disgusting, life-threatening amounts of power? Swing a leg over a Kawasaki Ninja H2. Want to feel like you’re riding a time machine? Janus Motorcycles and Royal Enfield have plenty of classically styled fare. Even if your wallet isn’t bulging, you can get affordable motorcycles, too. A Honda Navi is technically $1,807 and if you don’t mind something old, you can still find used bikes under $1,000. Electric, gas, cruiser, or adventure, there’s a bike out there for everyone.
My motorcycle wishlist is almost complete. I achieved my dream of owning Suzuki’s failed rotary motorcycle experiment. I also have my favorite Buell creations, a lovely Royal Enfield, and a stupidly big power cruiser to make me have all of the giggles. Now, I have two more two-wheeled fish I want to catch next year. I’d love to pick up the cheap and cute $3,299 CFMoto Papio SS and one day, a Honda CBX. The CFMoto is an easy one, but it’ll be hard to find a CBX for the sorts of prices I like paying for vehicles.
Aside from that, I need to get back into the cockpit of a Cessna.
The flight lessons themselves aren’t too expensive, it’s combining them with renting the plane. My instructor would love for me to fly every week, but I don’t have the kind of dough required to spend $500 a week on lessons. Even $1,000 a month is a bit pricey. Thus, it’s been a while since I last sat in the cockpit of a plane. Pilots call this getting “rusty” and in terms of rust, I’m probably one of the cars David left in Michigan. So, the next time I fly, I’ll be flying to get back to where I used to be before I can advance forward.
There are also so many other vehicles I’d love to buy or at least drive. I want to get into the engineer position of more locomotives and boats sound like a ton of fun, too. If someone gave me a stupid amount of money, I might even buy a Kenworth T2000. Do I need one? No, but look at that design!
Here’s where I turn things to you. There’s a whole world of vehicles out there that aren’t just cars. Getting on a motorcycle is easy. I would recommend taking a Motorcycle Safety Foundation class first. This will not only teach you how to ride safe but also give you an idea if riding is even for you. You can also learn how to command a boat or fly a plane. In this scenario, you have all of the money you need to do that!
So, are you going to buy a boat, train, plane, or motorcycle? Maybe you’ll buy something else, like a mining truck, submarine, or a mobile crane?
Top graphic images, clockwise from upper left: Honda Grom (Honda); Bede BD-5 (Andi Siebenhofer/public domain); Kawasaki Versys 1000 (Kawasaki); Rutan VariEze (Stephen Kearney/Wikimedia Commons); Yamaha AR195 (Yamaha); Handsome Stock Fella (Cookie Studio/Stock.Adobe.com); Seahunter 39 Tournament (Seahunter)
I don’t ride 2 wheelers, and I wouldn’t trust myself to fly. I feel like both would lead to the last thing going through my mind would be my ass. So I’m going with a Four Winns 170 Horizon (had one, miss it) and either a Riva Aquarama, or an old Chris Craft.
I’m thinking cube van, versatile cubism, slide in slide out, cheap truck parts and bad gas mileage, I can live with that.
Boat: Whats the cliche? The two best days of a boat owner’s life are the day he buys and the day he sells. Also, having a friend with a boat is way better than owning a boat, and only costs you a case of beer or tank of gas. Verdict: No.
Plane: Who are you trying to be, Hugh Hefner? Sure, buying a plane is a major hurdle, but obtaining a license and storing said plane will blow through any remaining fun money, so you’ll have nowhere to go.
Motorcycle: Its not a matter of if you crash, but when. Hard pass, after a 20 year career in journalism I’ve witnessed enough street meat to scare me into 4 wheels.
I pick none of the above. Happy new year 🙂
While I find boats, planes and bikes interesting I don’t feel a need to own any of them.. so I’m going with a monster truck! Like one of those ‘80s ones where they haphazardly put a Corvette body on a ladder frame. Yeah, now we’re talking..
A bit of an essay question but I’m going yachting. But I am buying something old school. I want a large boat with a flat deck where you can spread out in the sun. Maybe have a bunch of friendly attractive people play volleyball in swimsuits while sitting in a comfortable chair drinking a fruity alcoholic beverage. Frankly I don’t get these huge yachts with round front decks and small poop decks, not sure if that’s the name but hey POOP DECK, and all the room is in beautiful below deck hotel rooms.
Aircraft: something certified for flight into known icing. My winning the Lotto purchase is a Diamond DA-62. Seats 6-7, FIKI, 200 smph cruise, turbo-diesel so you can get the combined fuel burn down to a level that rivals my 182 at 12 gph.
Boat: Lightning class dinghy – something to get back into racing, but is easily trailered.
Motorcycle: Vespa Elettrica – I would like to get my silent scoot on.
Something else: Snow cat.
Icing is scary AF. My two years working on icing certification has taught me that you do not want to mess with mother nature, as she can still win at times.
An Amphicar is the loophole here, right? I need an Amphicar.
Really a combination crappy car crappy boat? For the same money I can get you a decent car that could tow a decent John boat and a John boat.
YES. I want one so much. I know it’s bad at both of its jobs. That’s the appeal. Also, it’s just a cute little silly guy. Truly a friend-shaped boat-car.
I admit to an unspoken attraction to them as well.
That was my first thought also!
Me too! Yes, I know they aren’t really good at either job, but they’re soooo cute, who cares?!?!
Grumman Widgeon. “The plane, boss. The plane!”
There is a family that brings there’s down to a couple local fly-ins each year, always an awesome sight.
IMHO owning a plane is like renting an RV. It costs you money whether you use it or not. You can only go to a few locations. And it seems great for a few trips then you realize your mistake.
Even the cheapest plane requires very expensive maintenance even if it just sits ther
Pretty affordable maintenance if you build it yourself and get a repairmen certificate for it 😉
Yeah I’m the last guy I want working on something that you can’t pull over in case of a problem. Get a car repair problem wrong you wait hours for a tow. Get an airplane repair problem wrong you are wearing your ass for a hat at your funeral.
Yes owning the cheapest plane is on par with a really nice luxury car. Heck a 911 is cheaper.
I want a semi truck with a very luxurious Hollywood star-style two story living trailer behind it. So basically something that’s worth about eight times the house I live in to drive around a few days a year and live in so I can save on $180 a night hotel rooms.
We already have the boat. So the next logical addition would be a pair of sea-doo’s because that seems sane and logical and my wife would enjoy riding them with me. Then I’d just top it off with a NetJets card because plane maintenance is still more of a PITA than keeping three watercraft operational. Then I’d probably buy a Crazy Cart XL for tooling around the neighborhood like a lunatic.
boat – Watercar H1 – So Ridiculous https://www.watercar-h1.com/
plane – SW-51 MUSTANGtrain -‘Railway Motorcycle’ has wings on both sides that latch on the rails when lowered
motorcycle – 2020 Yamaha V-Max
DeHavilland Beaver with floats
BMW R80 G/S
The simplest sailboat that has a cabin for 2 and controls operable by a single person.
Diamond DA36 E-Star 2
Zero FX
Arc One
Cause why not. It’s time.
[edit, I picked a car at first, derp]
T28 Trojan, ’72 Norton 750 Commando, ’70 Chevelle SS454, ’74 Grand Am (4dr), Psychedelic-ish Dodge Van w/side-pipes & shag, and a vintage 19′ trailer-coach to pull behind it.
I’d love the sort of boat that can sleep 6, dine off, live on basically but I’d cringe at how wasteful filling 1600 litres of diesel is so I could tool around for 300nm or so. A tinny to fish off in rivers sounds nice but I suspect I’d probably just get as much fun from the fishing and being out in the fresh air thing. I’ve done about 7 flying lessons (3 intro ones so I could see what those planes flew like, and 4 proper lessons in a 172) and unless you are doing it professionally, having a stupid low tech massive flat 6 burning leaded avgas just so I can tool around over Moorabbin airport (I’m in Aus) is again just wasteful, and lets be honest, not particularly any more engaging than what you can do in FSX. I imaging having the time to plan and nerd out IFR cross country flights trying to hit your waypoints on time and managing fuel use vs speed etc would be quite satisfying though but again pretty wasteful if you don’t have 200 people sitting behind you. And I already have been riding motorcycles for 11 years – which is great.
I think because I’m fat – 130kgs – I’d probably spend the money on a really schmick E-bike. Electric motor to get me up the hills in my area until I lose a lot more weight, pedal power for the flats. In my relatively limited experience push bikes give you most of the fun of a motorbike.
Wait scratch the bike I’d learn to sail and get an Oyster 885GT yacht
I´ve been getting into bikes lately, so I´d probably choose one. My problem is that I don´t know which style to choose, I´ve always admired the face melting performance of high powered supersports and naked bikes but there is something about a cruiser that is calling me. Anyways, I´d probably get an R1M or an Indian scout bobber.
Have a test ride on a cruiser. I really like the idea of one two – and the Indian Scout looks awesome in my opinion – but I tried a little Suzuki Intruder 250 recently and even though that is relatively upright for a cruiser I was terrible with the feet forward controls, kept searching for the gear shifter and having the rear brake be where my foot would be for an accelerator pedal in a car freaked my stupid brain out.
I was going to go low budget and say a packraft, but then remembered that PistenBully snowcats exist. I’d have to buy a lot of land or volunteer to groom trails somewhere but yeah, I’d use it to groom awesome trails for cross country skiing and skijoring. Check out how powerful and high tech this is: https://youtu.be/naXy5KJd2EU
I do not know much about motorcycles,(or planes or boats for that matter),but I would like a 2 stroke dirt bike as that would possibly put off dying for a bit longer.
As for planes I really don’t have a clue,but possibly a ww2 spitfire because they make a sweet noise,or something with a radial engine.
Lets round off with a Cummins qsx15 swapped Donzi for fun,since this is all imaginary.
Easy choice. One time my father decided we were going fishing at Burnham Harbor a Beechcraft Starship took off from Meigs and leave an indelible imprint in my mind. A Starship would be more plane then I’ll ever need, but but I would rock a Velocity single SO HARD.
I would probably pass on all three IRL, but for Autopian-world…
Ultralight, the powered parachute type, something like: https://easyflight.com/Powrachute-Airwolf.html
I actually wanted one of these for awhile, thinking they couldn’t stall. I was wrong. I am active with HPDE, and I don’t need to go faster, and I get motion sickness in everything (except the front two seats of a car, preferably with a roll cage).
I’ve wanted a BMW R1200RT for ages and now that I live in semi-desert I need dirt bikes. I also want a mini excavator and a skid steer loader
I got a subcompact tractor with a loader and backhoe and it rules.
1. Two Hayes M1030-M1s with custom, doggo approved, side cars.
2. A Nautitech 44 catamaran.
3. I have no desire or need to fly with that simple combination of global transportation at my disposal.
4. Nobody outside my small circle of intimate acquaintances would ever hear from me again.
Herb garden in a greenhouse at the bow of the boat.
A hunting bow on the modified KLR 650.
I’m pretty sure I was raised in the wrong century and or economic class for that fever dream to ever become reality.
But, damn that would be cool!
Oh to be a simple fisherman…
With billions of dollars.
Whatever.
Seems that’s not my lot in this life.
I’m cool with my Corolla (it’s a Chevy Prizm) I guess.
I had to draw the line at planes, but I do own lots of motorcycles KTM1290 ADV and Duke, KTM690 Enduro, BMW R18 Bagger (impulse buy that I love), R100S Cafe racer, etc, etc. I also have a sailboat problem. I’ve had 3 and I’m actually going to look at a Nonsuch 33 tomorrow – Check that out if you like weird boats. Speaking of weird, It gets worse – I’m also one of those truck camper guys that nobody gets. I love mine – it’s oldschool bulletproof construction and sits on a 4×4 F250.
Honda GB500 TT [Ulf Potschien]. I would love something fancy and fussy like a Brough or a Vincent but I still have a day job and horses to mind so gimme the rare and cool kickstart café bike made out of Honda parts.