Good morning, Autopians! It’s Friday – we made it through another one, and we’re rounding out our truncated week of single-marque showdowns with a pair of Cadillacs that are definitely no longer how the folks at GM envisioned them. But first, let’s take one last look at infinity, or rather Infintis:
The G20 takes a comfortable win. I think this is the right call; it’s in better shape, and as someone who regularly fights with – I mean, maintains – a Nissan VQ engine in a longitudinal orientation, I don’t want any part of a transverse one. If the engine is turned sideways, four in a row is the way to go.
Yesterday, I asked you all to help me find an interesting Cadillac to go up against one that had already been posted on the Discord server. And oh boy, did you come through. There were a few good ones to choose from, but one clear choice stood out above the rest. These two show what can happen when Detroit luxury meets good old American know-how, a Sawzall, and a welder. I would be surprised if there weren’t some beer involved as well. So without further ado, I give you… the Cadihacks. Let’s check them out.
1978 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham – $3,250
Engine/drivetrain: 425 cubuc inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Elyria, OH
Odometer reading: unknown (listed as 123,456)
Runs/drives? Yes, but has been sitting, so needs some work
Believe it or not, this is not the first time I’ve seen a Cadillac sedan turned into a ute. Apparently, chopping the back seat, rear roof section, and trunk lid off a Caddy to turn in into something like a luxury El Camino was once a bit of a thing. What I haven’t seen, however, is this sort of vinyl roof treatment:
Yes, that’s right – the vinyl top now continues down the sail panels and all the way along the edges of the bed. Unfortunately, the bed conversion looks a little half-assed: the bed floor is plywood, and not very deep, and the sheetmetal work to blend in the rear doors has a lot of sloppy Bondo work. It looks like it was all done a long time ago, and hasn’t aged terribly well. Also, I don’t think there is any tailgate, just a chunk of the original trunk lid welded back on. The missing bumper fill panels, were they present, might improve things a bit, but a complete re-do by someone who knows bodywork is probably the best bet.
The interior is incomplete, and there’s no word whether the missing door panels or carpet are included. The good news is that the seat upholstery looks good, properly inviting and squishy like Caddy seats should be.
The seller says this car runs and drives, but it has been sitting for a long while, so the fuel system and brakes and cooling system should be gone through. The engine is Cadillac’s 425 cubic inch V8, connected to the requisite Hydramatic. Before all the V8-6-4, HT4100, and Northstar nonsense, there was this cast-iron monster, and it was good.
2003 Cadillac Escalade – $4,000
Engine/drivetrain: 5.3 liter overhead valve V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Muskegon, MI
Odometer reading: 189,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep
Times have changed, and the Fleetwood of yore has become the Escalade, a dolled-up version of GM’s large SUV. These things have been hugely popular for more than two decades now, and as a result it’s not hard to find used Escalades. And that means if you really want to, you can do something silly to one. Like cut the roof off, for instance.
What surprises me about this is that the builder actually put some thought into it. We’ve all seen cars with the roof cut off; I had a friend in high school who decapitated a Datsun 210 and welded the doors shut for stiffness. Anyone can do that with a trip to Harbor Freight and a credit card. This seller has opted to retain the functionality of all four doors by adding braces between the stumps of the B and C pillars. They’re not tall enough to be rollbars, but they would make fine grab handles. It looks like the seller intended to relocate the shoulder belt anchors to these bars, but never did.
They’ve even taken the wide curved center high-mounted stop light off the roof and added it to the top edge of the new tailgate. Safety first, I suppose. There is also what appears to be a truck running board across the back. Not sure what that’s about, but it gives it the appearance of a swim platform at the back of a boat. In fact, this whole car gives off a sort of boat-like vibe, though it might just be the pearl white paint.
The seller says it runs and drives just fine, and has had some recent front end and brake work. There’s a significant dent on one quarter panel, significant enough to make me wonder if this car was rolled, and the resulting roof damage is what started all this madness in the first place.
Obviously, you’re not going to be interested in buying either of these unless you already had a similar idea, and want to purchase an already-started project. And neither one of these is ready for its big debut yet. But it does show what you can create by just altering a little sheetmetal. Not that you would, but if you were to take one of these projects on and see it through, which one would it be?
(Image credits: Facebook Marketplace sellers)
These are just god awful. What the hell, man? I need to sleep tonight, and these things are going to be giving me nightmares. AAAAARRRRGHRGRH!
Anyhow I voted for one of them, though mere seconds later I am not even sure which one, but that’s okay because I am 100% sure it doesn’t matter. These are both losers.
I vote neither, but especially not the ‘Sclade because where are the seat belts’ upper attachment points? It’s bad enough that the structural integrity is gone, but without working seatbelts….
They’re Cadillacs, they’re all “boat-like”.
Not only was beer probably involved in the Fleetwood, but I’m guessing some “Bakersfield marching powder” as well.
Escalade for me. Fix the roll bar contraption by welding in real roll bars the correct height and functionsl and have a fun summer vehicle that’s pretty easy to work on with easy to get parts.
Ummm. Like War Games the only way to win is not to play. I’ll take the Nissan that lost is yesterday’s vote.
A choice between a shit sandwich or a shit pie?
Neither a great choice, but…
Shit pie. It takes a chef to make a shit pie. Any idiot can make a shit sandwich (Spinal Tap).
And of the two, the Fleetwood is the pie. It actually just needs some door cards, and someone’s and the plastic fillers (they both look like the standard pieces would still work) to be presentable.
This is a good take. And in fairness to Spinal Tap they were attempting to make a shark sandwich.
The ‘bracing’ on the Escalade look like sections of exhaust pipe, not proper tubing. Also they look to be in the right spot to knock your teeth out in a crash or quick stop scenario. I’ll go with the El-Caddamino
This is one of those “which is less bad” kinda days…
If I *HAVE* to take one of them, gimme the Fleetwood. It will eventually die and you can scrap it. That Escalade will never die and you’d have to keep driving it.
my vote just tied it.. really neither IMO both look like “hold my beer” lol
Almost an even split so far! I pick the ute, because it’s cheaper and has a roof. Just had a ton of rain and hail in Denver.
I’ll walk…
This is not a determining factor one way or another, but the details on the ute correspond to a ’79, though I know it’s listed as a ’78. I know Autopia appreciates such pedantry.
That said, I’ll take the ute. I appreciate the ingenuity, if not the execution. And that Escalade is a straight-up death trap.
Both of these Hackillacs are a bit Cadillacking, but I’m planning on taking over a third world country soon and I’d look great standing and gesturing to the cowering masses from the Escapade with my security detail riding on the back platform. Ta ta, must go practice my royal hand wave, now.
Really, now…”Cadihack” was right there.
Yeah, but Mark already used that in his article.
The creators of both of these need to be found and brought to justice. If I’m forced to choose, I’ll take the ute, if only because it’s got some kind of actual utility to it. Allegedly.
ALLEGEDLY.
If I HAVE to make a choice it is the ute.
There used to be something like this called a “Flower Car” for the funeral business which was covered by a mix of GM catalogue parts and specialty coach builders for the dead business.
Agreed, will probably be easier to find the missing door cards and trim things by the rear bumper.
Went looking for this before I posted something similar—why not just buy an old flower car to begin with?
Another day where I think I’ll pass on voting. I think the only answer here is gas can and match…for both
I mean, I so wanted to vote for the El Cadillamino but then I saw the lack of tailgate. Don’t build a ute if you ain’t got the tailgate figured out!!! This one really baffles me, wouldn’t it have been easier to graft the Caddy front end and interior onto an actual El Camino?
I’ve seen ones that did this and looked pretty good!
It was probably a coach built flower car for funerals originally. Most did not have gates and did not need them for that purpose. A lot of them had a chromed or polished stainless steel cap over the rear, but the cheaper ones were like this with a painted cap. The more expensive builds had hydraulic bed floors that raised the flower arrangements up for easier access but the cheaper ones relied on more manual means such as the drivers back. They are quite fascinating and are considered highly collectable.
Should be like the Cadillac Mirage: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100064708447241
Ute, because it has potential. How drunk would you have to be to think that Escalade was a good idea?
Also, I would be willing to bet that they decided to put the stability bars in place after they cut the roof off and saw what happened.
Those electrical conduit pipes won’t do shit except crumple in an accident. Both of these are really stupid looking. So that is a no from me on either.
Oh I don’t know about that, I’m sure they’ll take plenty of teeth out of whoever happens to be sitting behind one in a front-end collision.
Both of these are every kind of yikes.
I voted for the ute, because it might keep me dry in the rain
Hell yeah
Remarkably cursed. You’ve outdone yourself with this one, Mark. Bravo. I’m firmly in the neither camp.
Both of these vehicles need to be put out of their misery.
Why would you put a rollbar BELOW your head height?
Whoever did that clearly had a skull thick enough that it wouldn’t matter.
Because that’s the point.