Good morning, Autopians! It’s Friday – we made it through another one, and we’re rounding out our truncated week of single-marque showdowns with a pair of Cadillacs that are definitely no longer how the folks at GM envisioned them. But first, let’s take one last look at infinity, or rather Infintis:
The G20 takes a comfortable win. I think this is the right call; it’s in better shape, and as someone who regularly fights with – I mean, maintains – a Nissan VQ engine in a longitudinal orientation, I don’t want any part of a transverse one. If the engine is turned sideways, four in a row is the way to go.
Yesterday, I asked you all to help me find an interesting Cadillac to go up against one that had already been posted on the Discord server. And oh boy, did you come through. There were a few good ones to choose from, but one clear choice stood out above the rest. These two show what can happen when Detroit luxury meets good old American know-how, a Sawzall, and a welder. I would be surprised if there weren’t some beer involved as well. So without further ado, I give you… the Cadihacks. Let’s check them out.
1978 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham – $3,250
Engine/drivetrain: 425 cubuc inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Elyria, OH
Odometer reading: unknown (listed as 123,456)
Runs/drives? Yes, but has been sitting, so needs some work
Believe it or not, this is not the first time I’ve seen a Cadillac sedan turned into a ute. Apparently, chopping the back seat, rear roof section, and trunk lid off a Caddy to turn in into something like a luxury El Camino was once a bit of a thing. What I haven’t seen, however, is this sort of vinyl roof treatment:
Yes, that’s right – the vinyl top now continues down the sail panels and all the way along the edges of the bed. Unfortunately, the bed conversion looks a little half-assed: the bed floor is plywood, and not very deep, and the sheetmetal work to blend in the rear doors has a lot of sloppy Bondo work. It looks like it was all done a long time ago, and hasn’t aged terribly well. Also, I don’t think there is any tailgate, just a chunk of the original trunk lid welded back on. The missing bumper fill panels, were they present, might improve things a bit, but a complete re-do by someone who knows bodywork is probably the best bet.
The interior is incomplete, and there’s no word whether the missing door panels or carpet are included. The good news is that the seat upholstery looks good, properly inviting and squishy like Caddy seats should be.
The seller says this car runs and drives, but it has been sitting for a long while, so the fuel system and brakes and cooling system should be gone through. The engine is Cadillac’s 425 cubic inch V8, connected to the requisite Hydramatic. Before all the V8-6-4, HT4100, and Northstar nonsense, there was this cast-iron monster, and it was good.
2003 Cadillac Escalade – $4,000
Engine/drivetrain: 5.3 liter overhead valve V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Muskegon, MI
Odometer reading: 189,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep
Times have changed, and the Fleetwood of yore has become the Escalade, a dolled-up version of GM’s large SUV. These things have been hugely popular for more than two decades now, and as a result it’s not hard to find used Escalades. And that means if you really want to, you can do something silly to one. Like cut the roof off, for instance.
What surprises me about this is that the builder actually put some thought into it. We’ve all seen cars with the roof cut off; I had a friend in high school who decapitated a Datsun 210 and welded the doors shut for stiffness. Anyone can do that with a trip to Harbor Freight and a credit card. This seller has opted to retain the functionality of all four doors by adding braces between the stumps of the B and C pillars. They’re not tall enough to be rollbars, but they would make fine grab handles. It looks like the seller intended to relocate the shoulder belt anchors to these bars, but never did.
They’ve even taken the wide curved center high-mounted stop light off the roof and added it to the top edge of the new tailgate. Safety first, I suppose. There is also what appears to be a truck running board across the back. Not sure what that’s about, but it gives it the appearance of a swim platform at the back of a boat. In fact, this whole car gives off a sort of boat-like vibe, though it might just be the pearl white paint.
The seller says it runs and drives just fine, and has had some recent front end and brake work. There’s a significant dent on one quarter panel, significant enough to make me wonder if this car was rolled, and the resulting roof damage is what started all this madness in the first place.
Obviously, you’re not going to be interested in buying either of these unless you already had a similar idea, and want to purchase an already-started project. And neither one of these is ready for its big debut yet. But it does show what you can create by just altering a little sheetmetal. Not that you would, but if you were to take one of these projects on and see it through, which one would it be?
(Image credits: Facebook Marketplace sellers)
Crack Pipe on both of these but I went with the Escalade because the Ute was just too messed up
Eeny, meeny, miny… NO!
On the Escalade…….umm, looking at those B & C-pillar “braces” with the expanded inlet sections, are they actually SS exhaust tubing?
Those are both awful and I hate them, but also deeply funny. Turns out the best caddy is a desecrated caddy.
Voted ute because utes are cool, and I’m morally opposed to escalades
I like those rare “El Caddymino” funeral flower cars because they are stately, beautiful, and also practical while not seen as quite as morbid as their hearse cousins because during their service life they carried only pretty flowers and not dead bodies (and I am no longer trying to pick up goth chicks). This homemade version is not one of those, however, and I would rather not have one at all than attempt to restore this example.
The Power Wheels Escalade looks like something that my little cousins might enjoy, but when did they get so expensive? I could have sworn Power Wheels were a couple hundred bucks at most when you buy from Target or Walmart. Damn chip shortage and supply chain issues!
Wait. You’re telling me that’s NOT a Power Wheels? That’s a real full-size Escalade that someone mutilated??? And they expect me to PAY for the privilege of driving that death trap? Are you out of your mind???
I always try to play along when I have to choose the lesser of two evils. And these are both pretty grim. I went with the ute because I appreciate the idea, even if it was poorly done.
If the ‘Lade was a 6.0 and half the price, it would be worth it as a LS swap donor vehicle. Other than that, meh, I don’t really like either. At first glance the ute was kinda cool, but it needs too much work and good luck finding those rear filler pieces.
The ute looks like a mess, but the Escalade looks like a dumb-but-fun cruiser for a weekend at the lake. You’d have to install those seatbelts first, though.
Who needs a roll bar when your brain is in your ass?
I wouldn’t take that Escalade if you paid _me_ $4000. I’m not even sure if I would be willing to be _seen_ in it for $4000. The fact that it’s currently in the lead… reflects poorly on a lot of people.
The Ute? Price is too high… but there’s some potential there…
I think this is the first time I’ve looked at the options given, and just said… “nah, I’d rather walk”.
Uphill both ways. In the snow.
Hard pass for me, both of these vehicles will live in infamy ! 😉
Oh goodness these are bad. I went topless escalade, and honestly if the job didn’t seem half done I might actually be in for that, but the fact that as is it doesn’t even have seat belts is a deal killer. Also just the terribleness of it all around is also a deal killer, but it’s still better than the pathetic excuse of a ute.
I once again choose “None of the Above” per my admiration for Brewster’s Millions.
I have no desire for a Crapillac Ute or an Escapade Crosscabriolet.
It seems to me the ute would have greater cargo room if the motor was moved to the rear and the front was converted to a frunk.
You really needed a choice of “I’d rather be tortured than be forced to take either one of these”. I was initially into the ute from the front view, but the rear view killed it.
Nope. Kill them both. Why would someone spend $ 3250-4000 to deal with this redneckery? Awful, incomplete, impossible to turn into something decent no matter how much money you drop on it. Even a Camaro for that money is a wiser idea.
I can’t believe the owners each had the stones to list at those prices.
Fleetwood, but I’m not going higher than 1500.
The ute, I guess, although I’d rather not have either of them. Those “roll bars” on the Escalade look like they’re specifically designed to crush your face should you have an accident. Given the lack of roof I guess you’d be pretty well crushed in even a minor accident. Also, seatbelts??
I’ll take both of them… to the crusher, just to rid the world of these abominations.
Is that “roll bar” made of exhaust tubing?
The cheap galvanized stuff, no less. Good catch. You can see the flared end at the joint. Along with some quality welding.
Two bad choices. This time, I’m going with the likely worse option in the ute. I just appreciate the vision more. Even if it’s done for shit.
The Escalade is better done, and has more thought put into it. The Escalade is the right choice but I can’t choose it. I want the ute. It’s awful, it’s poorly done, it’s missing parts, the vinyl is shot … but I still want the ute.
Well, quite. I’d take that redneck beauty over a functional, unfucked Escalade on principle.
That Escalade is a 3 row Parade Car wannabe.
Neither of these is safe at any speed faster than a 4rth of July parade. I wanted to go with the Escalade, but those roll bars are more dangerous than helpful. Are either of these better than parts cars at this point?
I am surprised that the Escalade doesn’t have signs of airbag deployment.
I taste vomit in my mouth a little less for the Escalade. That Ute is just awful.