I’ve never liked it when people say that they want a car that will “make them look good.” It seems like such a narcissistic thing to utter, but ultimately, I guess they’re being honest, and car companies certainly know that’s what people secretly desire from their car.
The image above certainly caters to such feelings in a buyer’s mind. No matter how “good” you look now, just imagine how irresistible you’ll be when you own a car that you can be parked on a pool full of … butterscotch, apparently? … without sinking in the slightest. The ladies appear to be in awe, likely saying things like “he’s holding a copy of Playboy, but based on his vehicle choice I can assume he is not a misogonyst and just reads the articles.” The dude on the edge of the pool can’t even bear to look. He could never be that cool.
Such powers are unlikely to be possessed by a vehicle, and even if they were I’ve never imagined that car to be an Opel GT. That’s not to say that this 1968-73 sports car isn’t cool, because it certainly is. If you ever wondered what a C3 Corvette would look like after going into the dryer, this would be it.
Also, if you were curious how an old Corvette would look if it were made of steel instead of fiberglass, here you go:
Yikes. There are a lot of odd quirks to this little German sports car, from the strange placement of the master cylinder to the odd looking air conditioning units that could be specified, yet the most intriguing to me was always the operation of the hidden headlights.
That’s right; these are not “pop up” lamps as much as they are “flip around” lights. What’s even more odd is that they are not operated by electric motors or engine vacuum lines. The driver simply muscles them into position by yanking a lever.
There’s the headlight lever below, looking very much like it could be a parking brake. When I was around ten years old, a neighbor owned an Opel GT and he let me sit in the car to operate the headlights; this moment still ranks somewhere above my marriage and barely below the birth of my kids as one of the greatest events of my life.
The e-brake lever is farther back. Yanking on one will cause you to go into an uncontrolled skid, while tugging the other will plunge you into total darkness. Best to leave each alone if you’re uncertain which is which while driving, please.
Who are we to criticize, though? What difference do ergonomics make if you can drive on butterscotch, right?
This is the first car I ever got a ticket driving. At 14 years old.
After 52 years, I would gladly trade the car for a ride on the blonde.
There are two blondes… or is that what you meant?
Of course.
Man, that one on the left…
Your left or mine?
Name checks out!
That ad isn’t even that bad to what General Motors used to do. Back when GM was doing those “real people” ads, it decided to do a series of ads that always came to the conclusion of “you need a truck.”
One of them was an ad about how a pickup truck makes you hotter, seriously. They showed a survey of “real women” showing a picture of a guy standing in front of a Toyota Corolla, then a picture of the same guy standing in front of a Chevy Colorado. Of course, they said the guy standing in front of the truck was hotter, even though it was literally the same guy. lol
Looks like all evidence of this ad has been wiped from the net, so I can’t imagine it went over that well with actual real women. I’d love to find that ad again for a good laugh at bad advertising!
And yet the one with the guy with the urban sombrero and Snively Whiplash mustache is still out there, which had to have been almost as damaging. Seriously, that whole ad campaign was just all around garbage
I think it’s safe to say that anyone that finds the previous gen Colorado to be an attractive vehicle is not someone I want to associate with. I’ve been in and around a few and yikes, what a pile.
Did I read this wrong?
In and around a few Colorado’s, albeit only as a passenger, but their interiors are so terrible. I really didn’t proof read that for clarity though haha
“Looks like all evidence of this ad has been wiped from the net, so I can’t imagine it went over that well with actual real women. I’d love to find that ad again for a good laugh at bad advertising!”
If you do please forward a copy to Mahk.
If you have a link to an earlier posting of it, archive.org might be able to recover it.
I wish I did! I had it liked on YouTube for the occasional viewing, but it’s no longer even in my like list.
Blonde in the white bikini is saying, ” I don’t care when you said you last took a shower. Something stinks here, and it ain’t me. Get that out of my face or there will be pain.”
The guy looks to be fighting off middle age valiantly. The dejected guy is at least a decade younger — but he’s no match for the allure that comes with a cool car, a misogynist magazine, and hair dye. (Also, one woman clearing isn’t having it. So, I guess the message is you win two out of three.)
The GT belongs to the dude on the left. Let’s name him Danny. The blonde in the white bikini is his girl, Sandy. Well, Sandy was his girl until they arrived at the public pool. The look says everything. And Danny knows it, you can see it in his body language. He’s crushed.
So, what did it? See, right in front of the pool, that poor baby Corvette gave up the ghost. The hood is not fully closed, indicating engine trouble. Much more obvious is the huge puddle of rusty coolant on the ground. You noticed the typical butterscotch colour, right? Anyway, their relationship started to become fragile when Danny first showed up with his new ride. Sandy never got accustomed to the fact that she was going out with a guy that couldn’t even afford a real Corvette. The frequent breakdowns didn’t help. Danny can’t wrench, and he sure doesn’t want to spend the hourly rate over at the Buick dealership. Instead, he goes to Vince’s Quicky Lube’n’Go. Unfortunately, Vince doesn’t know shit about imports. Hence the subpar reliability. The fake Corvette, all the breakdowns, the fact that Danny never brings her flowers…Sandy just has enough of it all.
Oh, what about the others you ask? Well, the guy with the mullet, that’s Vince. It’s his day off and he just happens to be at the pool, too. He heard the nasty sound of the high-mileage Opel CIH engine dying and came right over. He owns a car repair shop, so of course he’s “reading” Playboy. Where did you think all the pinups in the shop came from?
The blonde smiling? It’s Betty, the cover girl from the very Playboy issue in Vince’s oily hands! She’s all proud, feels like a star now. Hence the smile. She’s local and likes to swim (got to watch that waist!). No wonder she’s at the pool, too.
Unfortunately, I don’t have time left to tell you about Patty, the girl in the red bikini. Next time maybe.
Crabspirits, is that you?
From over at BaT? No, but I wish I had his talent.
I thought the dude in the back was using a walker.
“I’ve never liked it when people say that they want a car that will “make them look good.” It seems like such a narcissistic thing to utter”
IMO that’s no different than hearing someone say “It turns heads”!
The blond with the sunglasses is saying, “Daaad! WHY did you park so close to the pool???
(Also, is that hood actually closed, or is that the normal panel gap?)
Speedo guy is looking to see if his chest wig came off in the pool, or if he got lucky and it’s just sitting there on the deck by the ladder
1st what an ad, man the 70s were truly a drug induced haze Era
About the Opel… I had a neighbor that was a jeweler who had a huge pole barn (had to have been 40’x 80′ easily) that was in to cars. He’d buy interesting (usually sporty) cars that in some way (either mechanically or light crash damaged), fix them and sell them on. When I was a kflid I remember at one time he had a 64 MG b convertible that my dad almost bought for my oldest sister. A 72’mg b gt, a Porsche 2.0 914, a 2nd generation supra (the rounded corner boxy one with an automatic trans), a 2nd gen Toyota mr2 and an open gt. I was really interested in the 92 MG b gt, the 914 and the opel gt. I ended up not buying any of them and kinda foolishly buying a 78′ triumph tr7 as my 1st car. It was lovely… when it ran. Electrical problems that 16 year old me (pretty practical internet days) wasn’t able to repair myself and the only decent English car mechanic was a little too far away tfoe me to take it there enough to truly get it fully sorted
Man, I love the MGB GT, Porsche 914, Opel GT, and to a lesser extent the Toyota MR2. But getting a TR7 was a bad move. The MR2 probably would have been the most reliable of those, but as far as looks and aerodynamics go, either the Porsche 914 or the Opel GT.
I know! Somewhat in my defense I bought the tr7 with my own money (earned from lawn mowing and a daily paper route) when I was still 13 yes old.
My dad really should have steered me towards any of the other options.
Looking back 100% agree the MR2 should have been the most reliable while still being fun to drive.
I remember the 72 B GT had a clean body but needed a complete mechanical overhaul and all new new interior.
The MR2 I think had a side impact crash damage bit I don’t remember if it was just the door or if there was some frame damage.
The 914 and the Opel GT were both just kinda old and of course would have needed all.systems gone through bc as they sat neither was in running condition too.
When I was looking for a donor chassis for the EV conversion I wanted to build at age 16 back in 2001 and which I had designed the schematics for(and came up with a parts list), the Opel GT was near the top of the list of choices desired. Others considered were the Triumph Spitfire/GT6, Porsche 914, Honda CRX, Alfa Romeo 850 Spyder, Porsche 912, Toyota MR2, 3rd generation Pontiac Firebird, Subaru XT, VW Beetle and various kit cars for it, MG Midget, Austin Healey Bugeye Sprite, 1st gen Honda Civic, Datsun 1200 Coupe, Datsun 240Z, Fiat Spyder, among others.
I was after some combination of low drag, low weight, lots of space/weight to budget for batteries, and low purchase cost, with plenty of parts availability. None of these choices were ideal, but some were more suitable than others.
I ended up finding a Triumph GT6 nearby during college, and its reduced frontal area and extra dead weight to remove vs the Opel GT(lighter glider weight, thus more space for batteries without going over GVWR) won out. Still working on it today, but it first ran under electric power in 2012.
That’s some Impressive determination and tenacity right there. The GT6 in person looks so flippin’ small, much closer to a MG midget/sprite than even the MG b or even the Truimph TR6. Although Still plenty of room for 2 people in a small 2 seater.
I think the last I saw one (in the wild on the street) was about 18 years ago, it was I think owned by someone in the same large apartment complex I was in at the tine, and even then it was a triple head take bc I was so surprised to actually see one
If I’d have had the money to get it built in the early 2000s, I might be working for Tesla or some other EV company today. Building or working on EVs is the entire reason I went into electrical engineering. Instead, I’m doing a very boring but well paying job…
Hey Ladies, how’d you like a ride in my junior Corvette?
Everything here is underpowered and 3/4 scale.
Ha, that actually IS a copy of Playboy he’s holding. Holy crap. And I think the girl in the white swimsuit is looking off-camera at her agent, thinking “You are so fired.”
Hey look – it’s the seldom talked about Werther’s Original porn promo.
That’s why old people love Werther’s so much? Ick.
♫So creamy golden, just plain good. Werthers, and that feeling that you never will forget…♫
You.
Out.
AWE C’MON! Let him stay!
Okay, but YOU gotta keep an eye on him!
Alright, deal!
I almost choked on the apple I was eating while reading this!
And I will never look at Werther’s the same way again!
What is the other dude in the ad looking at? Is he wondering if his manhood “measures up” to the dude with the Opel? Is he thinking that he should get a buttescotch swimsuit for the next shindig where they park the Opel on the pool? Is the Opel parked outside the pool and he’s climbing out of the water and checking for shrinkage? Is he hanging his head in shame because a guy turned up in an Opel and started smooth talking the ladies? Or because his hair, while luxurious, is not enough to trump the Opel?
I NEED ANSWERS!
Oh, and dibs on Butterscotch Playboy as a band name.
Ahem. Shorty Corvette and the Butterscotch Playboys
Corvette Shorty and the Butterscotch Playboys.
Ok, sure, I am probably seizing on the wrong detail here, but one would imagine the folks orchestrating this photo shoot carefully selected the best example of an Open GT they could get their hands on, and yet the shut line on the hood is rather dire.
Speedo Guy is actually the lifeguard who’s coming out of the water to yell at those chicks for blocking the ladder — and at Plaid McSquarecut for parking his car too close to the pool at the Holiday Inn Express Munich.
The Opel GT is the size the Corvette should have been all along, but with the same V8 engines we all love shoehorned into it. It would have been much faster in a straight line and more agile as a result.
Also, Opel made an electric GT prototype in 1971. It streamlined the body to cut wind resistance. Using two Bosch DC motors making a combined 120 continuous horsepower and 160 peak horsepower, the car could reach 124 mph top speed and run a 16.8 second 1/4 mile. The 1,631 lb pack of Varta NiCd batteries was a major reason the electric GT weighed roughly 3,700 lbs.
https://imgur.com/1Z2FYi3
In 1972, Opel also made a diesel prototype GT that was even more aerodynamically streamlined. The 2.1L 4-cylinder turbodiesel fitted in it made 95 horsepower. It could top out at 123 mph, and could get roughly 88 mpg at 62 mph.
https://imgur.com/p8RMx7G
This is just Barry and Levon on the weekends
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xrx6we
Was hoping to see this here.
Aww yeah. I had the $240. I just had to have the Opel.
I was pretty certain that I missed the calculus of buying a car that makes me look good, because my daily is a 2018 Sorento SX AWD.
Not that it makes me look bad, but it definitely makes me look Dad.
Which, frankly, is on brand, come to think of it…
I LOVE my GT. It’s currently an immobile project car, but it looks SO DAMNED GOOD sitting in the shop that I don’t care.
You have a lot of directions you could go. EV conversion, LS swap, even a small turbodiesel…
I’ve been looking at the LS (complex because there isn’t much space), and a K-series swap (possibly easier, but pricey). However, my decision may have been made when some jackass totaled my daily on Monday (a ’12 Mazda 5). Engine should still be good so if I take the guts from the 5 and bolt up a Miata trans I should be able to make it work. The 5 was a stick so there shouldn’t be any real shenanigans to just transfer all the wiring and whatnot. Lofty goals though.
You’re probably going to average about 35 mpg with that engine. 0-60 mph time will be somewhere around 6 seconds.
Very interesting! That Mazda 5 2.3L is a good motor. We have a 2010 with a 5 speed, 160k but it’s rusted out pretty badly. Off the road for now, not sure what to do. Could fix the rust and bang it around a few more years. Have kicked around putting the drivetrain in our 86 Vanagon since the stock motor has low compression and is probably making about 70 hp at best. Lofty goals there, as well…
Do it! The Vanagons were so unloved, then I came to like them as underdogs. Anytime I see one the driver gets a honk & enthusiastic thumbs up just for sporting it.
Aren’t they all immobile project cars? Very pretty ones though, so yeah.
“If you ever wondered what a C3 Corvette would look like after going into the dryer, this would be it.”
Thanks, Bishop. I needed that laugh this morning
Butterscotch, huh? I say that’s a puddle of pee and Speedo Steve is the perpetrator. Girl in white bikini has just called him on it. Like the Opel GT, though.
There is way too much to unpack in that image in a single comment. I’ll take one part and leave the rest to someone else.
White bikini lady isn’t having the day at the (butterscotch) pool she wanted. She quite reasonably looks uncomfortable with how close that guy’s bulge is to her head, and with the way he is looking down at her. Or is he so self-involved that he is checking out his own bulge? Nah, he’s probably looking at her and whispering that it’s bulge-o-clock right behind her head. He seems like the type. Congratulations to him for making the guy walking around with a copy of Playboy the less creepy one.
“..he’s probably looking at her and whispering that it’s bulge-o-clock right behind her head..”
“Bulge-o-oclock”. I’ve never heard that one before… what a swell remark! But woodie really say something like that to her? I mean it’d be pretty cocky. Would it be hard for her to resist, or would she just stiff him?
Intriguingly, the next gen Vette did have those slightly odd but way cool “flip over” popups.
This image REEKS of Hai Karate…
Hmm..I was thinking “Brut”
Yes, but as the T shirt I saw recently said, “Surely, not everyone was kung-fu fighting”
Ha “Hai Karate” I haven’t heard that mentioned in easily over 20 years
Golf clap to you good sir!
From the color, I’m thinking Coppertone