Here Are The Cars That Car Designers Drove To Impress Other Car Designers At A Fancy Car Design Event

Designer Meetup Ts2
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Finally, after literally years of toil at the face of the coal mine for you, dear readers, the hustle is paying off. After countless instances of dropping names like Hardigree, Torchinsky, and Tracy resulted in hung-up phones, unanswered emails, and doors being shut in my face the automotive media yahoo gravy train has at last rolled into Adrian town.

I’m in Munich at the Car Design Event, being held at the super fancy Ameron Hotel, which is part of Motor World (the same one David recently gushed about). And let me tell you, it’s quite the place. I was picked up from the airport in a Bentley Bentayga, and my hotel room is a special suite with motorbike parking. Although I have a motorbike license I don’t currently own one, but there is both an Indian and a Triumph dealer here and I’ve plenty of credit so god knows what might happen if I indulge in too much complimentary beer later. Anyway, the important thing is I am now being looked after in a manner to which I could become extremely accustomed to, although lest you think I’ve gotten soft and coddled I did manage to (temporarily, the head fell off) break the shower this morning. Probably best to keep such rock and roll antics to ourselves for now.

Before I show you some of the wheeled delights I’ve seen, I should try and explain what Motor World is. Situated in a draughty, shabby corner of Munich (basically Europe’s equivalent of Detroit such is the concentration of the automotive industry here) it’s a huge flat building containing high-end car dealers, classic car specialists, classic car storage, and various enthusiast boutiques. If you want a beer while thinking about buying a McLaren in between perusing automotive-themed memorabilia and gawping at some really rare and interesting cars, Motor World has you covered. I suppose the marketing description would be an automotive destination and experience, but really it’s just a place for people like us to look at some really cool shit.

What you have to understand, and hopefully you’ve gathered from my writing, is that car designers are mostly to a man, complete and utter wankers. I mean fully paid up bell-ends. The most unbearable tosspots to ever walk the earth. It comes with the territory. We can’t help it. So when you gather a load of car designers in one place you might expect a smug explosion of douchbaggery, wrist watch one-upmanship (yes I did wear my Moon Swatch), and an extremely considered car park, as they all try to out-do one another. Let’s have a look.

The Parking Lot is Insane

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Alfa Romeo SZ. Correct color (i.e. not fucking yellow) but I can live without the stripes and the wrong wheels. Let’s see what else my peers have turned up in.

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Well hello there beautiful. Fiat Barchetta in absolutely minty condition. Possibly the best steel wheels ever made. Car designers driving Italian cars is a total cliche, so if you don’t drive a Ferrari Mondial QV how do you stand out in the crowd?

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That’s how. A DeTomaso Longchamp, or as Hardigree called it: an evil Ford Granada. Whenever a bunch of turtleneck-wearing, car-drawing toffs turn up in one place another thing you can guarantee is there will be a bloody 911 somewhere. Look, I don’t make the rules.

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I’m not sure what restomod of the week this is, I’m sure one of the 911 bores will tell me. Enough of car designers’ dubious choices, what else have we got?

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Ok, I’ve had currywurst and a beer for lunch and I’m still not sure I understand what’s going on here. Maybe this is the famed German sense of humor. I presume this wasn’t driven here by a car designer.

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Mercedes-Benz definitely had been on the laughing gas when they came up with this, the X-Class. Or to you and me, a Nissan Navarra in an expensive dress. Not trucky enough for you?

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This is parked the approach road to the hotel, just to let you know what you’re in for. Alright, it’s bloody cold out here let’s see what’s inside.

The Cars Inside

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Motor World is the perfect backdrop for this event because it already has quite a collection of cars on display. I think this VW is what Torch uses to dress himself in the morning. On those occasions when he actually puts clothes on.

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Because I haven’t really written a piece unless I give David a heart attack, here’s the best Wrangler.

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Despite my fancy leanings, I’m not a huge Rolls Royce person. I have started to warm to these though. This one belonged to Muhammad Ali.

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Another, rather large engined Rolls Royce. This looks dangerous. Maybe one for Miss Mercedes? She likes German stuff with ridiculous engines that is simultaneously both over and under-engineered. As you’ve gathered I’m trying to accommodate all my Autopian family here. This one is for Thomas:

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Great, I think that’s something for everyone. I think I will reward myself for knocking out this quick update with a beer, as I am in the land of free beer after all. You know what’s funny though, Germany is also the other birthplace of fast European Fords, and I’ve not seen any of those.

I can’t think of anyone I know who likes those.

[Ed note: Find a Cossie or don’t come back – MH]

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98 thoughts on “Here Are The Cars That Car Designers Drove To Impress Other Car Designers At A Fancy Car Design Event”

  1. I’m all in on the longchamp. Looks like a fox body, Australian xd falcon and a fiat x1/9 walked into a bar and all kinds of kinky shite went down.

  2. I prefer Mercedes grab bag of cars weekly column. This shows why there are far more designers than car models. Most have no taste. Not one of those eschewed a showing of class you would think designers would promote. Much like actors wearing clothes on the red carpet the Oscar’s are the goal these car designers are the Mr Black fails.

      1. The SZ is ugly-beautiful which is extremely hard to pull off. That slab of body, that delicate glass house, those tiny wheel and all the square headlights.

        I absolutely love them.

        Then underneath that amazing styling you have a great driver’s car: brilliant chassis and one of the greatest engines ever.

        The only thing stopping this from being the perfect car is that Alfa built it. Even that fact with its weird combination of attraction and repulsion mirrors the ugly-beautiful styling.

        1. Completely agree, although it seems the owner of this one doesn’t understand this with the stripes and awful wheels. Imagine having an SZ and inflicting those on it. ????‍♂️

            1. Doesn’t matter how expensive they are, they don’t match the style of the SZ, they’re far too intricate and deep dished, which doesn’t work with the slab sided brutalism.

              1. They’re period correct wheels….. they definitely fit the style of an exotic, italian car. Too intricate? The face is a simple 5 spoke. Too deep? Go look at a stock SZ. These look to be about the same spec, lip size looks about the same.

    2. If you wanna bring up the actors wearing clothes on the red carpet, car designers are more like the fashion designers that put together the classy outfits, and most of them wear pretty funky stuff when they’re out to impress.

  4. My brain just melted trying to make sense of that Spirit of Ecstasy on Muhmmad Ali’s Drophead Coupé, only to realise it’s actually just a vent from the Porsche in the background.

      1. I’m going to assume this is Blofeld direct inspiration versus once-removed Dr. Evil inspired. But I could be wrong.

        Any chance you happen to own a Persian cat?

        And now halfway through responding I’ve gone down a rabbit hole to discover that Blofeld isn’t responsible for this quote (though he like many Bond villians greets 007 in a similar fashion) but rather, it was Stromberg in The Spy Who Loved Me.

        Oh god I need to get some work done.

  11. The red Alfa’s paint job is extra-sweet. When I was 16 and getting ready to paint my first “real” car, an ’85 Duster I had pulled from the boneyard and partially rebuilt, I sketched out something quite similar to those side-stripes.

    My boss talked me out of it saying “two-tones are a pain in the ass”. In retrospect I’m pretty sure he was really saying “You’re being a pain in the ass, now hurry up and get some cheap-ass enamel squirted over the shit bondo-job you did so we can get that heap out of the shop”.

  13. There is nothing dangerous about a well built Merlin ( or one it’s many variant) engined Rolls Royce. After all that work, the terrible truth becomes clear. 3mpg.

    1. Many a Messerschmitt pilot would disagree about a Merlin-engined vehicle not being dangerous. If they were still around that is.

      (I know you specified Rolls Royce, not Supermarine)

  15. Is it weird that I envision Adrian emerging from the back seat of a black Cadillac Sixteen, wearing a floor length black sable coat and carrying a crystal topped, ebony wood cane?

    Drive himself? That’s for hoi polloi…

  16. Adriana. Some of this stuff is words and phrases not familiar to the usual suspects present here. Like WTF is a “fully paid up ball end?” Not sure that is something safe to Google in my present location…but I do agree that you are truly a wanker in a pool of wankers today.

    Appreciate the pics. Please follow up with more. And some hot chicks too, you don’t have to talk to them, just take the shot man.

    Because the calendar is broken on my watch it’s still Thanksgiving. (here, not there you wank.) You submit some really good stuff here, and I am thankful for it, despite my general contempt for you British car designer twats overall…

    Enjoy the trip you biscuit eating fart.

  17. Thanks for the look in on the event – some nice machines there, love the Barchetta, the Porsche Ice Racer is kooky, VW cherry-picker and that amazing old Rolls!

  18. The 911 looks like someone wanted their 964 to look more like a 996/993 mix, but also wanted to pay a “specialty” shop hundreds of thousands for it. I bet it makes too much power, is too loud, too stiff and has the limit handling behavior of a rodeo bull.

    The Barchetta, on the other hand, is a beauty.

      2. How do you feel about restomods in general, Adrian?

        I find most of them a bit boring, both from a design and engineering perspective.

        The challenge of making a great car for production under a budget with practical and legal considerations forces designers to get clever, but this one in particular seems like they just de-featured the bumper, removing a good bit of the cleverness, then put that egg-shaped hole in the fender and called it a day. I know there’s probably a lot of performance work into it, but at that point it’s just a hot rod, not really a design brief.

        This applies to the engineering as well, there were many challenges in making these things work with the technology of the time, simply updating it with modern tech doesn’t strike me as impressive, and once again lands in the hot-rodding category.

        I feel like I’m ranting now but I’d like to make it clear I have nothing against hot rods and customs, it just strikes me as pretentions when companies that build them start acting like they’re producing vehicles that one buys and sells as a Strosek, Singer, Alfaholics, Eccentrica, Icon, Hennessey or whatever instead of just a modified 911/105/Diablo/Bronco/Camaro.

        I may be barking up the wrong tree, but now it’s too late to delete all this.

  19. Largely unrelated, but now I gotta know – which MoonSwatch?

    I’m guessing Mission to the Moon, but willing to be surprised by Mission to Mars or something…

    1. Ugly but also attractive, like an A10 Warthog. Either that or I’ve got a problem similar to the one that affects people who really, really like feet and can’t see it’s a horribly stretched hand with too many stumpy fingers, no thumb and a lumpy broken wrist.

      If you’re really trying to crown the ugliest Alfa you have to look at the Arna, with styling by 80’s Nissan.

      Or the 1983 Alfa 33.

      Or the Alfa Castagna Vittoria.

      2. The Arna is just a Nissan Sunny with a different grille.
        The 33 is not a bad little boxy sedan – very much of it’s era.
        The last one – Oh, that’s offensive.

      1. It almost feels like it came out of Compton, and the owner is waiting for his paint guy to be released on probation…no offense intended here to anyone btw.

          1. Thanks Dad. I needed your very kind reminder…JFC. Lighten up man.

            Just trying to describe what this piece looks like. And you have to get a case of menstrual cramps? Get a life. For real.

            Or perhaps a sense of humor, my comment was sincere and intended not to offend anyone.

            Most of your comments do not usually indicate a stick up the butt, but you do you, ok.
            Chill please.

        2. To clarify this. As a person of both color and someone who has spent a good bit of time in Compton, I do not need your input. Especially when it’s based on obvious ignorance, and a knee jerk mentality. And also is based on a very common joke there. Ask Snoop you about this you turd.

          Obviously you neither understand humor, nor the realities of the area.
          Go home and take your clear ignorance with you.

  24. reading opening paragraphs: “wanker”, “bell end”, “toss pot”. . . This had to be written by Adrian. Yep, it is! I’m going to enjoy this.

        1. Ah, so you like Monty Python and Doctor Who. Do you enjoy any other children’s programs? Please tell Mrs/Mr Data I send my best wishes.

          1. Well, I did enjoy Danger Mouse back in the day. Does Blake’s 7 fall under the children’s heading? For the record, while I do watch NuWho, I prefer Classic Who, with Tom Baker and Jon Pertwee being my favorites. Jelly Baby?

        2. Perhaps it is time to hurl some regionally obscure US based thinly veiled insults back at him? (I love a good culturally based Internet fire.)

        4. If you, like me, have limited access to more adult britishness, my go to tends to be blackadder. That will give you some more perspective for at least some insults. Plus Atkinson is a car guy too so, bonus.

  25. That Longchamp is very much to my taste. I love that slight forward lean to the front grill, and the overhang over the headlights is delightful.

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