“AMC 360 article” reads the subject line of an email that will forever go down in history as the most epically unhinged correspondence I’ve ever received. The message, from a Wisconsin reader named John, who used his actual email for some reason, is so unbelievably vitriolic and unhinged, one could argue that it’s traveled the full circle from low-quality junkmail to literary masterwork. Because for what it is, this threatening bit of hate-mail is actually beautifully written.
[Note: This article includes harsh and threatening language, which we at The Autopian take seriously. With that said, I’ve moved recently (and done some research into the email’s author), and don’t feel like I’m in any real danger. I also want to note that I don’t know what the author was going through at the time he sent this email; I wish him well. -DT]
Let’s Establish That I’m Not A Huge Fan Of The AMC 360 Engine
Back in April, shortly after the founding of this website you’re currently reading, I wrote an article titled Why The AMC V8 Engine Found In Some Of The Greatest Cars Of All Time Is Such A Humongous Pile Of Shit. Here’s a screenshot of the headline and top image, which shows an AMC V8, an equals sign, and a rather cute little poop pile sitting atop an American Motors Corporation logo:
A little controversial? Sure. Maybe even provocative. But I have good reason for this; I’d owned multiple AMC 360-powered Jeeps, and they were all inefficient, underpowered, and not particularly easy to work on. Plus, in the case of my 1979 Jeep Cherokee Golden Eagle, the motor was actively ruining my life — a fact that, as I noted, factored into me writing that article:
[Before I get started, allow me to just vent for a moment. I spent all of Sunday trying to get my 1979 Jeep Cherokee Golden Eagle’s replacement AMC V8 engine running. Should I have been editing, writing, answering emails, researching, and hiring? Yes. But instead I was elbow deep inside what has to be the most poorly designed engine I’ve ever had the misfortune of dealing with. The shittiness of the AMC V8 is severely jeopardizing The Autopian’s future outlook; that’s fitting, in some ways. Anyway, it’s not solely my frustration that’s leading me to write this article; the AMC 360 truly is a poorly-designed motor, as I will now show].
My article continues with me contrasting the unstoppable AMC inline-six and the rather-stoppable 360 V8, which was supposed to be an upgrade:
You may know American Motors Corporation as builder of the greatest Jeep engine of all time, the AMC inline-six, a motor that came primarily in 232 cubic-inc, 258 cubic-inch, and 4.0-liter displacements. This long iron-block motor, found in pretty much every Jeep between 1970 and 2000 — was absolutely unstoppable (If you want to be “in” with the Jeep crowd, just say “That foar leeter is bulletproof I tellya” anywhere near a gas station) thanks to its simple design, ease of serviceability, and plentiful low-RPM torque.
It’s surprising, then, that the same company that built that amazing off-road motor developed the AMC V8, a contraption whose only reliability was liability, and that was ubiquitous in AMC products for decades. The thing went in damn near everything as the “step-up” from the six cylinder, even though, really, it was a huge step down. Let’s take a look at some machines burdened with hauling around this iron menace.
From there, I point out the AMC 360’s suboptimal timing cover design. From a packaging/complexity standpoint, it is brilliant, but the fact that the engine’s oil pump has a tendency to eat itself and starve the motor of oil is just sad:
AMC owners also complain about lubrication concerns with the rearmost cylinder, I have complaints about packaging making the engine relatively difficult to service, and of course there’s the fact that the 500 pound mill makes no power and sucks fuel like mad. Plus, parts aren’t that easy to find.
There’s a reason why so many Grand Wagoneer owners just yank their V8s and chuck in Chevrolet Small-Block motors.
I realize it’s controversial, and plenty of folks in the comments took umbrage with my criticism, and that’s fair. Maybe I was a little harsh. I can see how this particular part of my article venting about an engine whose design I don’t like might have ruffled some feathers, even if it was meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek:
I’m fairly sure fellow AMC-lovers are going to come out of the woodwork to defend the AMC V8, which came primarily in three variants: 304, 360, and 401. “Mine has driven over 200,000 miles,” some will say. “This guy just doesn’t know how to wrench,” others will claim. “It was a torquey, stout motor,” many will cry. “Some of these have been built into highly successful race motors” others will assert. And to them I say: Wake up.
I was a sheep like you once, having fallen head-over-heels for the American Motors way of life. The soulful designs; the charmingly weird blend of Ford, GM, and Chrysler parts; the generally-stout hardware; and just the bold, Smallest-Of-The-American-Automakers rough-and-tumble way of doing things. Like you, I used to see AMC vehicles, especially Jeeps, through rose colored glasses. Hell, I currently own seven AMC-era Jeeps, and I’ve owned many more in my past! I even visited Kenosha a few years ago solely to pay homage to AMC, and I recently snuck into the old American Center former headquarters in Southfield, Michigan. I’m a diehard AMC fan, believe me.
But I have no choice but to call a boat-anchor a boat-anchor…
So now that we’ve gotten that established, let’s get to the death threat:
The Death Threat Email
Three months after publishing that article, I received the aforementioned “AMC 360 article” email. I’ll just paste it in its entirety, and then go through it line-by-line afterwards:
Your article about the AMC 360 is wrong and you’re a complete dipshit. The reason your engine failed is because you didn’t do routine checks and preventive maintenance on it before it failed.You’re a fucking ass clown for blaming the engine for the problems that you yourself created after you failed to perform the maintenance an old vehicle needs to prevent problems with it in the present day!Nope… You probably bought an old vehicle and just kept driving it instead of properly sorting it out. So then, after this mess you caused for yourself, you being the overly accomplished writer you are, took it upon yourself to write an article and trash an entire line of engines that is known for beating the Big 3 on the drag strip and in many other racing outlets from it’s inception until present day.Oh and let me guess. You probably weren’t even using oil designed for flat tappet camshaft engines too! Right? Haha. You were probably using some bullshit oil you bought from a gas station down the road because it was good enough! Right? Or was it the same oil you like to use in all those Jeep Cherokees you have rotting away in your back yard. Yeah. Yeah. I know your kind of people. Those are all the “some day” projects. You know. The projects you’ll eventually get to “some day” after you finally strike it rich with your whimsical writing ability!!! Right??You sir fancy yourself as a Jeep aficionado but you are not. You’re some clown that buys old Jeeps and parks them in your back yard… or seeing that you’re from Florida… front yard… so you have something to tinker with then write about or make videos about with your buddies to try to make money from with your new stupid website!Here’s the bottom line dude: You’re just a garbage wanna be journalist out there getting attention for himself to sell merch and making a living. That’s all you are. A pathetic little man with a big stupid mouth.So this is what I’m going to tell you right now. If I ever run across you in public, I’m going to make sure you never write another thing about an AMC v8 engine ever again. That’s a promise dude.Now if you can please go properly fuck yourself, I’d really appreciate it. You miserable piece of shit. Fuck you!
My lord. Okay, let’s just go through this a bit, because it’s just so gloriously juicy.
Your article about the AMC 360 is wrong and you’re a complete dipshit. The reason your engine failed is because you didn’t do routine checks and preventive maintenance on it before it failed.
John comes out swinging with a strong opening line. He establishes that I’m wrong and a dipshit — honestly, from a journalistic standpoint, this is a strong lede. He then claims that my engine’s struggles are my fault, not AMC engineers’ fault. But before we go too long without some spice, he follows that up with this:
You’re a fucking ass clown for blaming the engine for the problems that you yourself created after you failed to perform the maintenance an old vehicle needs to prevent problems with it in the present day!
A “fucking ass clown”! Let’s continue:
Nope… You probably bought an old vehicle and just kept driving it instead of properly sorting it out. So then, after this mess you caused for yourself, you being the overly accomplished writer you are, took it upon yourself to write an article and trash an entire line of engines that is known for beating the Big 3 on the drag strip and in many other racing outlets from it’s inception until present day.
Here John sarcastically pokes fun at my writing skills, and notes — as I predicted in my article — that the AMC 360 has some race wins under its belt. Then he gets seemingly belligerent, laughing about the oil I use and making fun of my Jeep “collection”:
Oh and let me guess. You probably weren’t even using oil designed for flat tappet camshaft engines too! Right? Haha. You were probably using some bullshit oil you bought from a gas station down the road because it was good enough! Right? Or was it the same oil you like to use in all those Jeep Cherokees you have rotting away in your back yard. Yeah. Yeah. I know your kind of people. Those are all the “some day” projects. You know. The projects you’ll eventually get to “some day” after you finally strike it rich with your whimsical writing ability!!! Right??
Well John, I’ll have you know that I use Shell Rotella, which has over 1,110 parts per million zinc — it coddles those flat tappets like a mother coddles a newborn! Plus, I’ve mostly kicked my Jeep hoarding problem!
Let’s keep going:
You sir fancy yourself as a Jeep aficionado but you are not. You’re some clown that buys old Jeeps and parks them in your back yard… or seeing that you’re from Florida… front yard… so you have something to tinker with then write about or make videos about with your buddies to try to make money from with your new stupid website!
What?!
…
This whole Florida part about a front yard is so absurdly strange that I don’t even know what to say. Who in this situation is from Florida, and what does that have to do with which yard you park your cars in?
Also, don’t call The Autopian stupid! Me? Sure, but not The Autopian. You’ve taken this too far, John! Too damn far! But he goes farther:
Here’s the bottom line dude: You’re just a garbage wanna be journalist out there getting attention for himself to sell merch and making a living. That’s all you are. A pathetic little man with a big stupid mouth.
Is it bad that my biggest concern with the quote above is the lack of parallelism? If you’re going to write “sell” you have to write “make,” not “making.” Parallelism matters!
Anyway, let’s get to the part that seems an awful lot like a death threat:
So this is what I’m going to tell you right now. If I ever run across you in public, I’m going to make sure you never write another thing about an AMC v8 engine ever again. That’s a promise dude.
Now, there’s a chance that by “I’m going to make sure you never write another thing about an AMC v8 engine ever again. That’s a promise dude,” what John means is that he’ll sit me down, and present a slideshow that irrefutably extolls the virtues of AMC V8s — a slideshow that will forever change my view on the engine that I called an “iron menace.” It’s either that, or he plans to injure me in such a way that my writing abilities are severely compromised. Though really, if we’re being honest, this is a death threat.
All this over an article about an engine that hasn’t been in production for over 30 years, by a company that hasn’t existed in over 35 years, and built in a plant that no longer exists! This whole thing is nuts, though I have to applaud the way John concludes, because — like that lede — it’s quite effective, journalistically speaking:
Now if you can please go properly fuck yourself, I’d really appreciate it. You miserable piece of shit. Fuck you!
What the crap?? How is someone so mad over this to think violence is the correct response?
This is america, where dissing old American manufacturing is high treason
No worries David, I’m and AMC guy also who doesn’t care for their line of V8s because they are more difficult to work on. Hell, my 71′ Commando has a 350 Chevy V8 for this very reason. The AMC V8s can be made strong and powerful, but it takes significantly more work then their big 3 counterparts (for the most part). You are right also, the inline 6 is a thing of brute strength beauty. One more thing, that email is hilarious and had me literally laughing although I don’t think it was meant to be funny. Either way, keep up the good work and I hope you get your California move thing sorted.
I’m pretty sure assclown is one word.
Someone should let angryAMCman know this.
Sounds like a Herb.
I’ve seen an oil pump like that in one other place — on a Buick V8. Now there’s an engine known for lubrication problems.
I’ve always thought the AMC V8 was like any other, good at some things, less good at others, but on balance a decent motor that made AMX’s and Javelins go pretty well. The Malaise Era lumps that powered Grand Wagoneers were no less strangled than any other engines of the time, though it was interesting that Chrysler kept making them until the Grand Wagoneer went out of production. But they made the Jeep sixes too.
When Chrysler bought AMC, insiders figured that AMC would take over Chrysler from within because their engineering department was far superior under Renault export Francois Castaing. Castaing ran Renault’s racing operations before reorganizing AMC’s product development, resulting in the XJ Cherokee, the YJ Wrangler and the ZJ Grand Cherokee, not to mention the Eagle Premier which evolved into two generations of LH sedans.
Consider where Chrysler was when AMC was purchased with one K-car derivative after another. Every Chrysler product thereafter had heavy AMC influence.
Wow, just wow. Talk about a totally unacceptable thing to do. Having to deal with crazies like John is something I hope you don’t have to deal with on a regular basis. I’m somewhat surprised you elevated his diatribe, however well written, with a feature post. That said your dissection and handling of his response, and especially the way you closed it out are superb!
I’ve worked in local newsrooms for 30 years. When it comes to unhinged communiques from the audience, I have seen and heard some sh*t. Can I tell you the scariest thing about John’s email? It didn’t have a single misspelled word or confusion over “your” versus “you’re.”
A smart lunatic is the most dangerous kind (see “Kaczynski, Theodore”).
Glad you’re a safe distance from Kenosha … and for what it’s worth, I’m now sad I Irish-goodbyed the party before the dramatic reading.
You probably broke a lot of safety and journalism rules by posting the note and responding to it, but I really enjoyed reading the article, it made me chuckle quite a bit. Is it possible the guy was kind of trolling you and making fun of internet forum old dudes that get all upset about oil choices and think Ford vs. Chevy is still a big thing? I would rather think that than that some guy stewed for some considerable length of time then decided to write that letter to you to vent his righteous wrath.
Are we sure this guy isn’t from Florida, since he’s apparently found the magical Fountain of Youth that mentally traps him in middle school forever?
Also – are excerpts from this going to become the Autopian’s equivalent of Cotomer Sevis now?
Guess you can just count yourself lucky you didn’t write any K-car-bashing article yet, THOSE fans are seriously crazy and into all sorts of deep conspiracy theories
Okay David, I like to just let these things slide but I really think picking on this unhinged commenter for his mild grammatical errors is like throwing stones from a glass house:
“AMC owners also complain about lubrication concerns with the rearmost cylinder, I have complains about packaging”
I dunno, I feel “complaints” would have made this more of a sentence. Even if you took out the “have” and just made it say “I complains about packaging,” that would have been more correct.
“I realize it’s controversial, and plenty of folks in the comments took umbrage with my rather criticism”
Again this might be a coherent sentence in some languages, but not in American English (The only true English).
Anyways, how can I be mad about this when I know you were just awake into the wee hours wrenching on a rusty old junk AMC engine, which obviously ate up the time you needed for a thorough proof reading.
Typos mean you’re human, bad grammar means you don’t give a damn.
(With that said, I gotta stop being such a typo machine!).
Even with a few typos you’re still doing a fantastic job!
Thanks for all the great content.
I wonder what the AMC-Jihadi equivalent of leaving a horse’s head on your doorstep is?
A worn aluminium timing cover 🙂
This letter would gain a lot of entertainment value if you read it out loud in an outrageous French accent (you silly pig-dog!)
Wow, good thing you didn’t write about rotary engines!
I haven’t met a Dorito-head who doesn’t accept the apex seal failures, scant torque output (Renesis/NA), and need to guzzle premium (with a shot of pre-mix in every tank). But…they all know the joy of going apex hunting while in the upper ends of the tach listening to that sewing machine full of hornets do it’s dance.
“From Florida”!?! David’s made it clear that as an Army brat, saying he’s “from” anywhere is like saying Jason’s Catholic.
I suppose it’s possible that one can look at some of David’s decisions from the outside, and come to the conclusion he’s at least related to the mythical ‘Florida man’.
(Love ya really DT! 😉
I fully embrace DT as one of us!
Will you people please stop threatening him?
I own a 1968 AMC AMX rocking a built AMC 401 engine. I am an AMC fan. The unhinged AMC guy is not a true AMC fan. If he was, he would have shrugged and said whatever… We AMC fans are so used to being dragged through the mud that we have thick skins and a sense of humor. Yes, all AMC engines can have oiling problems, this is a known issue. I had my 401 engine done by a couple of older AMC guys that build AMC engines. They addressed the oiling issue during the build (along with other known issues). As others have said, the AMC engines can be quite the performers, I can attest to that. Please accept my apology on behalf of the AMC owners. Karma is a bitch and it will come back to bite.
The only thing cooler than your AMX would be adding ” _zipper” to your screen name.
Not gonna lie. I read all 126 comments hoping to see John chime in. Leaving* disappointed.
*to read the other articles on this stupid website
I was going to say that good, bad, or straight-up crazy, we will never see this kind of enthusiasm for electric motors. Then I remembered Tesla stans were a thing. As bad as a death threat is, putting a kid in the path of a car to prove how good it’s “self” driving system is to all the haters, is on another level..
Imagine how small the guy’s pee pee must be, to threaten someone’s life over the Internet.
While I agree with the intent of your comparison, I think we should stop this body shaming small pee pee comparison.
It’s more likely that they’ve somehow managed to tie their conceptual pee pee to this particularly poorly designed engine, and thus saw the original article as a deeply personal attack against their perceived masculinity.
In essence, they’ve a tiny conceptual pee pee that they must defend vigorously due to toxic masculinity.
I just don’t understand how somebody can care THAT MUCH about an engine to threaten another person. Maybe I’m missing something in my life that I don’t give that much of a shit about any inanimate object that I build my life and personality around it.
I wonder if he told his mommy that he’s a brave, brave boy?
I’ve had V8 Pacers and Gremlins and they were fantastic cars. They were never my primary mode of transportation, however, but putting 8 cylinders in those wonderfully goofy cars was great, even if the mill wasn’t great. Anyway, what I wanted to comment about was AMC-heads. Some of them are truly wonderful people who appreciate AMC for what it was, an also-ran in the American car market that came up with some creative ideas for setting itself apart. But, there is a large portion of AMC people who have a permanent chip on their shoulder. I once worked at a car museum outside Boston that would hold weekly car shows in the summer which I would help organize. The AMC show was always the biggest nightmare because the local AMC club was filled with the crankiest bastards I’ve ever met in my life. Nothing was to their satisfaction. Ever. They had to do everything their own way regardless of what our policies were. Everyone else, even Ferrari guys, were polite and understood that, as a museum housed in a very old building, we had to do certain things a certain way. The AMC dudes didn’t give a shit and we were assholes for even considering having them set up their parts tables so they didn’t block emergency exits, or putting the food vendor in a place where grill smoke wouldn’t pour into the museum itself. They were such a pain in the ass. I still love weird AMC’s though.
“Out there getting attention for himself to sell merch and making a living”
A guy has to eat, John.
Ugh. Faulty parallelism annoys the shit out of me, too.
There’s a radio commercial selling mortgage services that is written with faulty parallelism. I’ve heard it hundreds and hundreds of times, and it makes me want to scream a little each time. The ad is read by the owner, and I’ve gone as far as looking for his email address to set him straight.
Now let’s do subject-verb agreement in radio plugs.
I feel a bit bad for everyone who missed out on hearing you read this out loud at your going away party. That was honestly one of the most entertaining, and ridiculous things I have heard it quite a while. I’m glad you managed to safely make it out of the Midwest, and away from this AMC-loving madman!
My day job occasionally has me deal with lunatics, creeps, and correspondence from ne’er do wells.
This is some wacked out to mars stuff, man.
It’s interesting for me to hear that some people see DT as a journalist with a car hobby and doubt his wrenching ability or his passion for cars. It never even occurred to me that some might think he’s just tinkering on Jeeps as a way to get his journalism fix and sell merch. Having followed David’s career and actually gotten to know him, I will put this to bed right now. David is a car guy first, last, and everything in between. I’ve had the pleasure of wrenching with him and can tell you he’s an admirable blend of “Junkyard engineer” and true automotive engineer (I mean, he literally is an automotive engineer). Calling his wrenching skills or automotive know-how to the carpet is no different than calling a waiter at a fine restaurant – you will get served.
As for the Autopian, David found that he has a natural talent for story telling and wanted a place where car culture could get together and do exactly that – tell stories. Stories of wrenching, stories of automotive news, and stories like fighting with a poorly-engineered piece of crap; stories we can all relate to. He couldn’t find that place so he grabbed his trusty Torch and created it.
Finally, I’ll say that DT’s response here is a great lesson in how to deal with the negativity that’s thrown about so carelessly in the anonymity of the internet. Look at it objectively, understand its meaning, and understand that this single data point does not, cannot, paint a full picture of the person that put it into the world. Most importantly, understand that there just might be something else driving this anger, and sincerely wish them well. Well done, DT, and I hope the person who wrote the email can find happiness.
That was beautifully out sir, and gives me hope for the internet.
*put
Where’s my edit button?!
***Now, there’s a chance that by “I’m going to make sure you never write another thing about an AMC v8 engine ever again. That’s a promise dude,” what John means to say is that he’ll sit me down, and present an slideshow extolling the virtues of AMC V8s — a slideshow so strong and filled with such irrefutable data that it will forever change my view on the engine that i called an “iron menace.”***
To be honest, that’s exactly how I interpreted that paragraph. You should send him a dropbox link so he can share it with those of us who had completely trouble-free AMC 304 V8’s in their ’79 CJ7s.