How To Make A Ton Of Money With An Off-Road Van: COTD

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Earlier today, off-road master Fred Williams proposed that Jeep needs to build an off-road van. Off-roading and van life are two hobbies that are both sizzling hot and often mingle with each other. I mean, the idea of taking vanlife off-road is so tantalizing that you can buy a Ford Transit with a few off-road bits and some basic upfitting for a camper conversion.

Sadly, Williams is correct that most of these vanlife off-road builds start with a commercial van. What if there was a van built to combine the best traits of a passenger van and the best traits of a Jeep Wrangler into one vehicle? That sounds like a money printer to me.

The Bishop offered up some epic sketches of what this could look like, but Usernametaken has a quick solution:

Step 1 – Add 7 bar grill and left hand drive to Mitsubishi Delica

Step 2 – Tabulate currency

I don’t know if these would involve federalized Delicas or old ones. If the latter, we’ll have to add a step and convince Maine and other eastern states to not be so lame about JDM imports.

Since we missed a couple of COTDs, I will nominate a couple more comments from last week.

Something is afflicting some of your favorite Autopian writers. David and I have joined Thomas in BMW ownership and the both of us just cannot get enough. It’s funny, David was used to limping his way to Moab in cars with rust holes large enough to fall through. Meanwhile, I kept torturing myself with broken Volkswagens that seemingly no amount of money or wrenching could truly fix. Now both of us have a modern BMW and haven’t looked back.

Mercedes Streeter

Make no mistake, David still loves old cars. There’s not a day that he doesn’t send a Facebook Marketplace listing for some vintage ride. The only difference nowadays is that they have solid floors. Likewise, I’m still looking for my white whale Volkswagens, an Eos VR6 and a Phaeton W12. Oh, and I need a Smart Roadster and a Smart Crossblade while we’re at it.

Anyway, a comment from EmotionalSupportBMW about David’s BMW i3 put a smile on my face:

Today, David discovered he too has an Emotional Support BMW. Non-traditional ESBMW, but it’s not how you find faith that’s important. Please consider a daily donation of 2.99, or less than the price of coffee. So, we here at Bimmer Angels can continue to give e46s to those in need.

To which I replied:

Never change your username or these comments. ???? Everyone needs an Emotional Support BMW! Though, sadly, it seems you cannot bring your ESBMW on a flight. United Airlines keeps whining about “weight and balance” and “your car can’t fit in here” or whatever.

Another nomination goes to M Marz, who found a new name for a Ford Panther carrying a load of bull:

OMG that rear view. Ford Brown Victoria.

Have a great evening everyone!

(Top Photo: Cars & Bids Seller, Rough Country, and Jeep)

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10 thoughts on “How To Make A Ton Of Money With An Off-Road Van: COTD

  1. Every time we re-invent the Mitsubishi Delica on this website (usually once or twice a week) I cry at the state of the North American automotive market and how we can’t have nice things and America was never great.

    1. The current Delica that is offered in the rest of the world is built on the same platform as the Dodge Caliber and has a CVT and has been since 2007, not really what I would call an amazing off road platform/drivetrain.

      The Delica that you are fawning over with true 4×4 capabilities hasn’t been produced since 2007.

      You could always get an Astro, they did make them until 2005. You can lift’em, put 30-31″ tires on them, locker/lsd for the rear, torsen for the front, blazer transfer cases bolt right in for low-range, and they have MORE room inside than a delica. I fit a (real) queen memory foam mattress in my old Astro and it was incredible.

      …oh and the Astro/Safari has the steering wheel in the correct place. 🙂

  2. I posted this on the main article, but would like to post it here again: more Fred please!

    Now that David is a more straight-laced, business owner who drives an Emotional Support BMW, there’s a large gap in the off-road content that I’d love to see Fred fill. Granted, I’m ignoring the fact that David still owns multiple Jeeps that he still writes content about, but anyone who has watched Dirt Every Day knows that Fred has some quirky ideas that would fit in with The Autopian ethos quite well.

    Also, when I was living in the PNW a few years ago during peak vanlife, I saw an imported Delica that someone had given the angry headlight look, made popular on the Jeep JKs and JLs, and it just didn’t look right. I suspect even giving the Delica the full Jeep grill and headlight treatment couldn’t keep the van from looking like the playful, upbeat puppy it is.

  3. The FC van that Jeep could have made: https://www.hemmings.com/stories/2011/02/23/the-fc-150-van-now-in-color

    The FleetVan it did make: http://www.offroaders.com/tech/jeep/Jeep-FJ.htm

    I once saw a house in the middle of nowhere that happened to have both an FC and a Jeep FJ in the driveway. I had to turn around and drive past it a couple times to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me.

    (Update: I see the Stevens design was highlighted in the earlier article. Oops. Anyway, still a gorgeous vehicle I’d love to drive today.)

  4. One fun thing the Autopian crew could do with its Photoshop skills would be to envision what today’s new cars will look like when they’re 30 year old beaters. Kids today won’t undersand this but anyone who has seen a few generations of cars come and go will get it. Old beaters could be sporting anything from different colored doors, to cracked or missing tail lights, to duct tape, to blue tailpipe smoke.

    1. YES. I hereby request the Bishop to write and illustrate fanfiction of Year 2053 David Tracy trying to fix traction electronics, glue together composite frame members, and literally home brew synthetic gasoline for a completely shithoused i3 REX.

    2. There will be no twenty-first-century “beaters”. Not only will they be illegal to drive, but they’re impossible for a shade-tree mechanic to wrench. OK, not so much the wrench part, but the computers…. Not to mention the subscriptions. “I’m sorry, sir, your 2023 is no longer eligible for the “turning wheels” subscription”.

      The beaters will still be the beaters we’re driving and wrenching on today. If they’re not illegal….

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