I Can Almost Guarantee You Don’t Know What Car This Is, Even If You’re A Car Supernerd

Mystery Car Ts1
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Asparagus grows like a practical joke. It looks like someone bought asparagus from the greengrocer, stuck it in the ground pointed up, and then tried to prank their friends by claiming that’s how asparagus grows, except that’s exactly how asparagus grows. Now, imagine the car equivalent of that. The right blend of anonymity and era-specific elements to give off the impression of an airbrushed genericar from an insurance commercial, yet complete series production. You are about to witness the boring/interesting bell curve wrap around in on itself, as something so fascinatingly boring takes the stage.

There are likely a handful of truly obsessed individuals out there who’ve seen this thing before. Maybe they’ve even owned one before. If you can go full Pete Weber about this car, I’d suggest biting your tongue for now and just watching everyone get confused.

This is a car that looks like nothing and everything from the ’90s all at once like it’s a four-wheeled replicant or something. Up front, you get the vibes that someone looked at the grille treatment on a Honda Beat and wanted to turn that frown upside-down, and then they swiped the headlight treatment from the Lexus SC300 but messed up the scaling.

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Around the back, things get even weirder. It looks like a hairless 1994 Pontiac Grand Am, especially in the lighting department. Those taillight silhouettes and bumper lights suggest that whoever made this thing builds excitement, except we all know damn well it wasn’t Pontiac, right? Never before has a car looked like so many other cars and also no other singular car at the same time.

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It looks like an Accord Del Sol. It looks like a Holden Camira that badly needs an Epi-Pen. It looks like a Ford Focus ZX/2 had incestuous relations with a Contour and this is the result. In the words of Matt Hardigree, “I’ve never seen a car that looks less like itself the more photos you see.” Those wheels were definitely shared with the Mazda MX-6, and the 2.5-liter KLZE V6 is a legendary Mazda engine, but what Mazda could this be?

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As it turns out, it’s an Autozam. An Autozam Clef, to be precise. It’s basically a swoopier 626, the missing link between Mazda’s midsize sedan of the ’90s and MX-6. Ain’t that something? From 1992 to 1994, Mazda made a quantity of these vehicles, although I suspect Mazda’s the only thing that knows how many. Being at a tax disadvantage in its native Japanese market can do that.

See, the Autozam Clef was built on the GE platform and taxed the same as Mazda’s more traditional Cronos (that’s a 626 to North Americans) sedan. Given the sorts of conservative and proper types who’s buy a family sedan in Japan, it’s not surprising that many of them chose the Mazda over the Autozam. Plus, these two models were basically identical on the inside, so why not go for the Cronos? It just made sense, like investing in mutual funds and brushing your teeth.

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However, those who did choose the Autozam are surely getting the last laugh some 30-plus-years later. It’s almost like a rolling case of “This Man,” except it’s entirely real and not at all invented in a collective fever dream. In fact, the Autozam Clef is among the more clever JDM cars to import. Not only is maintenance fairly straightforward, but people won’t believe their eyes when one of these things passes by. Now wouldn’t that be fun to watch?

(Photo credits: Mazda)

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50 thoughts on “I Can Almost Guarantee You Don’t Know What Car This Is, Even If You’re A Car Supernerd

  1. What the hell is a Clef??? I know a bass clef or a treble clef. Or is it an obnoxious postal worker who is 45 and still lives with his mother??

  2. What the hell is a Clef??? I know a bass clef or a treble clef. Or is it an obnoxious postal worker who is 45 and still lives with his mother??

  3. I kind of knew what it was…
    It’s obvious and inconspicuous at the same time.

    But… I’m a weirdo keeping a 97’ MX-6 Sunday drivable.
    That requires sourcing many hard to find parts.
    I’ve been aware of these for a long time.

  4. I suppose I should be glad I couldn’t be more wrong. I saw the red, white, and blue badge and started thinking something MVS was considering as something cheaper than the Venturi

  5. I suppose I should be glad I couldn’t be more wrong. I saw the red, white, and blue badge and started thinking something MVS was considering as something cheaper than the Venturi

  6. Meanwhile I was convinced it was some rare prototype/variant of the GM EV1, or some other similar electric concept. If you omit the little circular lights up front, it could easily pass for the EV1 sedan we never got.

  7. Meanwhile I was convinced it was some rare prototype/variant of the GM EV1, or some other similar electric concept. If you omit the little circular lights up front, it could easily pass for the EV1 sedan we never got.

  8. I just wanna applaud the Holden Camira reference. So random. Love it (the reference, not the actual Camira … That’s a picture of a shitty one but they were ultimately all shiiiit).

    1. If you hang around the Autopian Discord at all, you may have witnessed me slowly losing my mind attempting to find any existence of the Holden Camira on Google Maps, it took me several weeks and something close to 30 hours of browsing Street View, to finally find one… Captured by Street View in 2010…

      1. I haven’t yet signed into the Discord, but damn, a Camira lasted until 2010? I’m amazed. And sorry for you. And the poor bastard driving the Camira 🙂

        They were a hit in regional Victoria, Australia in 1986 or so in my experience and the plates in that pic more or less align with my recollection.

        Hope your sanity is returning :).

        1. Well, if you find your way there, you can read over my efforts, ha, posted plenty of other neat Street View spots while I was looking. As for my sanity? I wasn’t happy with finding one that was 14 years out of date, I’m still looking. The goal is to find one from no earlier than 2020. If I manage to find one locally, I’ll drive out and hopefully get a real pic of one, ha. Haven’t seen a surviving one in the flesh since 2015.

  9. I just wanna applaud the Holden Camira reference. So random. Love it (the reference, not the actual Camira … That’s a picture of a shitty one but they were ultimately all shiiiit).

    1. If you hang around the Autopian Discord at all, you may have witnessed me slowly losing my mind attempting to find any existence of the Holden Camira on Google Maps, it took me several weeks and something close to 30 hours of browsing Street View, to finally find one… Captured by Street View in 2010…

      1. I haven’t yet signed into the Discord, but damn, a Camira lasted until 2010? I’m amazed. And sorry for you. And the poor bastard driving the Camira 🙂

        They were a hit in regional Victoria, Australia in 1986 or so in my experience and the plates in that pic more or less align with my recollection.

        Hope your sanity is returning :).

        1. Well, if you find your way there, you can read over my efforts, ha, posted plenty of other neat Street View spots while I was looking. As for my sanity? I wasn’t happy with finding one that was 14 years out of date, I’m still looking. The goal is to find one from no earlier than 2020. If I manage to find one locally, I’ll drive out and hopefully get a real pic of one, ha. Haven’t seen a surviving one in the flesh since 2015.

    1. The Focus came as a ZX2 as well for the facelifted model (2008-2011) that didn’t have the hatch or wagon, and only came in coupe and sedan forms, IIRC. I don’t believe they had any badging declaring them as such but I thought that was a carryover artifact from the first generation that fizzled out after a year or two. But I could be misremembering.

    1. The Focus came as a ZX2 as well for the facelifted model (2008-2011) that didn’t have the hatch or wagon, and only came in coupe and sedan forms, IIRC. I don’t believe they had any badging declaring them as such but I thought that was a carryover artifact from the first generation that fizzled out after a year or two. But I could be misremembering.

      1. Don’t feel bad if puns aren’t your forte. It’s still appreciated by the staff, even if it falls flat. I think it measured up just fine, personally.

    1. I’ll take a “crack” at this too.

      This is just like the “gluteal cleft” of basic 90’s automotive transportation.

      “Everybody has one and they all stink”

      1. Don’t feel bad if puns aren’t your forte. It’s still appreciated by the staff, even if it falls flat. I think it measured up just fine, personally.

    1. I’ll take a “crack” at this too.

      This is just like the “gluteal cleft” of basic 90’s automotive transportation.

      “Everybody has one and they all stink”

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