Let’s get this out of the way right off the top: needing a truck is not a requirement for owning a truck. We are PRO CAR here at The Autopian, and the “car” refers to anything you can get in and drive. If you want to get the biggest, toughest, off-roadiest 4X4 that money can buy, dump beaucoup bucks into it to make it even bigger, even tougher, even off-roadier, and then just drive it to the office, that’s fine. Whatever makes you happy.
“Wildest load transported in a car? Who needs a car?” Jason snapped this hero on a visit to India.
THAT SAID, there’s a whole lot of truck-stuff you can do without actually having a truck, especially if you’re creative and/or desperate when faced with a not-optional need to move a thing (or many things) from A to B. Move an entire apartment in a Taurus wagon? Done it. Two kayaks in a hatchback? You bet. So much mulch my RAV4 was on the bump stops and I couldn’t close the hatch and I got pulled over but the cop was cool about it because I only live like a mile from Home Depot? That was last weekend.
You tell us …
What’s The Wildest Thing You’ve Transported In A Regular Car?
To the comments!
Moved a lot of loads with my ‘73 Squareback out of my rental house when I bought my house. That is, until it started pissing a quart of ATF whenever it was parked. Now it sits in the garage awaiting a new lease on life.
In my 2008 Civic coupe: 4 desktop computers, 2 laptops, 1 tower server, 2 wireless access points, a firewall, a switch, cables galore, Canon multifunction printer, HP 11×17 printer, 9 24″ monitors, and my tool bag. New office setup for a client.
Also in my civic: a live copperhead in a bucket strapped into the front seat. Pulled the snake out of my mom’s garage.
In my 2011 CR-V: Moving my brother out of the cadet corps dorms at UNG- plate carriers, webgear, combat surgery kit, ammo, spent AT4 and M72 rocket tubes, uniforms, a few gun parts, and a boars head mounted on a plaque. Apparently, the person leading formation in PT had to wear the boar’s head on their chest while running.
Please tell me the passenger wore the boars head on the trip or mounted on the roof?
I did have the boar’s head on the roof rack, and it stayed in place at 90mph down GA 400
BSA A10 motorcycle with a Watsonian double adult sidecar carrying a melanistic jaguar called Sheba.
Also a playgroup outing of fifteen under five year old children in a Citroen CX a weekl later so they could go and see the big pussycat in her new home. One of these journeys was downright scary.
Rental scaffolding in a 1972 Delta 88 convertible. Completely sketchy, not my brightest idea, but it worked.
A leather club chair filled pretty much the entire area behind the front seats in my old Mitsubishi Eclipse under the glass hatch. And I fairly regularly transport my bike by tossing it in the back seat of my convertible and hanging the front wheel and handlebars over the front passenger seat.
If this sort of thing is your jam, then I highly recommend taking a trip to Ikea. Grab a soft serve cone from the snack bar and find yourself a spot in the designated “loading zone” — at my Ikea, the loading zone is right outside the snack bar, and they were considerate enough to set up tables. You will see some ingenious cargo arrangement that you never thought possible punctuated by some of the most tragic stupidity imaginable. My favorite was a pack of bros who were so proud of themselves for lashing a stack of flat-pack furniture to the roof of their car that they didn’t realize that they had tied their own doors shut by looping the twine through the door frames.
Better entertainment is to park yourself a block or two away, preferably somewhere those people will need to execute a turn out of the Ikea parking lot. Flat-pack furniture is insanely heavy; that particle board is dense and takes up every cubic inch of the box. Combine that with flimsy twine, roof racks meant for looks or at best for bolting on a Thule or Yakima rather than actually securing a load, and dubious knot-tying skills of your typical Ikea customer, and you can pretty much guarantee those boxes are sliding off. Or the ones who only lash side to side but not front to back. Intertia’s gonna inertia.
All glass place settings, flatware and goblets for 150 people for my daughter’s wedding in our Honda Odyssey. And there was still room for the wedding dress. 4 hour drive, tinkling all the way. Minivans are the BEST!
Honda Odysseys are the bomb, my parents have owned one since I was a wee lad, and the back was crammed full of stuff on countless road trips every year. I guarantee our minivan has hauled more stuff and people than most trucks do in their entire lifespan, and the old Odyssey is still going. It’s an absolute workhorse and a comfortable one too.
A quarter of my sisters apartment from Chicago to New York in a 2014 Subaru Impreza sedan with 4 adults and a tiny dog. Why didn’t she pay for the movers to move everything? Fuck if I know. Driving that thing for 13ish hours was awful. But I got to drive on Lower Wacker Drive like I was Batman so it wasn’t all bad.
Ford Freestar- console piano, dining room table with six chairs, some misc boxes all fit inside at same time. Minivans rule.
An entire restaurant kitchen. In a Hyundai Accent. Including 12′ counter tops.
I daily drive a 1966 Thunderbird as it is my only car, so when I need a truck, the answer is Thunderbird. I’ve also been a regular vendor at the local farmer’s market for over 7 years, which means I’ve used my T-bird as a truck many, many times.
It was not uncommon in years past for me to stuff three cinder blocks and a toolbox (for weight, not maintenance) in the trunk along with a foldable awning stuffed diagonally into the interior with the front passenger seat folded down to fit the darn thing. In addition, this load frequently included merchandise if I had anything at home to bring.
To be clear, my grandpa goes to the farmers market with me, and he has a Chevy Tahoe which carries far more stuff than my Thunderbird to the farmers market every week, but whatever doesn’t fit in his SUV goes with me.
On occasions when I’ve had to borrow a car, I’ve done the same thing with a 2002 Civic, which – let me tell ya – is a much tighter squeeze, but the Civic still pulled it off like a champ.
I fit my entire drum set in my 128i coupe.
I have used the little seat hole in a Chrysler 300C to fit an 8 foot 2 by four in, through, set on the dash and still hung a few inches out the back before.
How about 23 college students in a Dodge Dakota? And as we were cruising down East Wooster in Bowling Green, we passed by one of the local contables. He turned his lights on a pulled a U-turn. The driver pulled down a sidestreet and stopped. 22 of us took off running. By the time the Cop got to the driver’s window we were all gone.
The Cop thought it was pretty funny but still gave him a ticket for expired tags. We spilt it 22 ways, so it only cost us $3 each
An 8ft ladder in an Alfa Romeo Spider. Top down, just stuck it behind the passenger seat sticking up in the air. Just across town.
Not me, but an old boss of mine moved one of those round redwood hot tubs on top of his 60s Mustang. That was an hour of freeway driving followed by twisty mountain roads to his mountain compound.
I mean with the top down and the luggage rack out back, those almost are work trucks.
Fun fact redwood unless sustainably farmed, still hugely expensive, illegal to cut down and even using fallen trees illegal without endless permits. Most likely redwood stain.
How do i know my 1st house built out of redwood. Had some earthquake damage. My replacement insurance figured $250,000 wood cost, refused to pay since i bought the house for $128,000 in Eureka ca. Settled for decent repair, a significant check, and a reduced insurance payment.
I’m just going by what he said. He picked it up at an architectural salvage place, so who knows how old it was when this happened (1999). I just saw a round wooden hot tub sitting on the roof of a Mustang in the parking lot at work.
A full apartment worth of belongings after finishing college. It does not sound like much, but the car was a Ford Fiesta, the trip was 600 miles, and the belongings literally crammed every single cubic inch of space inside the car. I am using the word “literally” literally. Who knew that you could fit so many cassette tapes under the front seats of a Fiesta!
I was already impressed and then you specified cassette tapes, implying this is older and likely smaller than the Fiestas I was thinking of. Hats off to you.
Yep, we are talking old European Fiesta 😀
I don’t know, maybe a self propelled push lawnmower, foot locker, and 4 window air conditioners in a Mustang simultaneously
It’s a tossup.
The Saturn VUE I had ages ago would hold 2’x8′ pieces of plywood (full sheets cut in half lengthwise) with the rear gate shut, so picture a big pile of that with 14-15 bags of landscape stone. The suspension was not bottomed out but she was quite low.
The other is a Kawasaki KZ440 rolling frame in the back of the F-Pace. It’s easy: undo the pinch bolts for the forks, disconnect the speedo and brake cables, and remove the front end as a unit. Undo the handlebar clamps so the frame + bars will lie flat. Place frame (with rear wheel installed) in the vehicle. Place forks et al on top of the frame. Distribute other items (fuel tank, boxes of parts, etc.) around the cargo area and close rear gate. Done!
Top tip: a rubber-backed commercial doormat in the 3.5’x5′ range makes a great protective layer for the vehicle, and it can be draped over the bumper to prevent damage while loading.
Not me, but my Dad.
2 adults and 4 kids in a 67 MGB without seatbelts
I have photo proof that a foam queen mattress, bedframe, and the wooden slat thingies fit in a VW Golf with the hatch fully closed.
I had a recliner on top of a Plymouth Aries station wagon once. It was in the reclined position for clearance. The guy who asked me to help move it wanted to sit in it while I drove across town, but that would have been a step too far.
Mr. Bean!
In my Navy days, I had a 71 Ford Torino, hauled a spare 351 Cleveland engine, C4 transmission, and 2 of my biggest strongest shipmates.
A year ago, my wife and I transported our two 5′ children, everyone’s luggage, several cases of New Glarus beer, two large coolers, and an entire 1/2 BBL brew system in our 2015 Nissan Quest. Minivans are the best.
A step ladder on the rollbar and windshield frame of my Miata was probably the sketchiest. I tied it to the rollbar and bungee-corded it to the passenger’s seat frame below. Luckily I didn’t have to go too far.
A queen-sized mattress strapped to the roof of a VW Golf is probably a close second.
What’s The Wildest Thing You’ve Transported In A Regular Car?
Betty Lou Mankowitz… sigh…
Second that motion. And down the rabbit hole goes the mind.
With the top down, our old Mini Cooper transformed into a landscape supply machine. 8 bags of mulch and loaded with plants and sod? Not a problem.