I’m not always sure how to handle things when some sort of social media something that involves cars goes viral. Sometimes, we just want to ignore it, but then again, our goal is to bring top-notch Brougham-grade quality automotive content to as many people as possible, even if those people didn’t realize how much they were craving and needing said car content. So, when something goes big and has a significant automotive angle, why not try to address it? So that’s what we’re doing now, as I invite you to join me in marveling at a TikTok video created by a person who slowly and destructively sideswiped a parking bollard, causing $30,000 worth of body damage to her new Cadillac Escalade. Over 3.7 million people watched this video, enrapt at a human being blaming an inert metal bollard that is sunk into the ground with concrete for being at fault in a wreck.
I wish I could definitively state why this video has captured the attention of so many; there’s some obvious things, of course. The person making it is conventionally attractive, there’s the undeniable draw of some nice, juicy schadenfreude, and it’s talking about something deeply familiar and relatable to many people: the fact that parking bollards exist. Beyond that I can’t really say, other than there really is something fascinating about watching someone in such complete denial about an event that happened.
The someone we’re talking about, by the way, is a – I guess you’d call them an influencer?– on social media, named Natalie Vacca, with over 270,000 followers on TikTok, and mostly seems to post videos of herself talking about stuff to the camera, with occasional cameos from dogs and kids. Looking at the environment and materials and locations of these videos, this person seems to be doing just fine, financially. They seem to be living a pretty cushy life, and part of that seems to include a recent-model Cadillac Escalade, which plays a crucial role in the video, which, here, you may as well just watch already:
@nat.vacca I cant be the only victim to yellow bank polls. #escalade #cadillac #autobody #crunch #matteblack #banks #cement #damage
I’m sure there’s like half a dozen things that you saw just now that are making you want to scream: someone not understanding the purpose of those bollards, saying “look what your metal pole did to my car” and then stating they don’t think it was their fault, and then calling a door handle a “handlebar” and saying “you hear a crunch and freeze, and then you keep going,” all of this, all of this, it almost feels like too much. Is it an act? Can this be serious? Are there people so clueless about the way Earth works that they believe all these things? And are allowed to drive a 5,600-pound SUV like an Escalade?
Of course, the comments are absolutely brutal. But it, somehow, gets even better, because ol’ Nat posted a response video where, bafflingly, she pretended to not be herself, and instead did the video as some other person “playing devil’s advocate about hitting bank poles” as though there’s two powerful and equal sides to the “should you grind your car into yellow parking bollards, causing lots of damage?” debate. Here, you have to watch this one, so you can enjoy that strangely satisfying feeling of wanting to scream about dumb things, yet again:
@nat.vacca Im just playing devils advocate #bollard #atm #followup #devilsadvocate #stlouis #escalade #cadillac #autobody #crunch #handlebar #satire
First of all, what the hell is the point of doing a response video as though you’re someone who is not you, but is also very clearly you? It feels absolutely unhinged. Why would you choose this? For objectivity? I don’t think objectivity works that way. I don’t think anything works that way?
The part where she’s defending the her-but-not-her for continuing to drive forward after hearing the crunch is particularly maddening. She notes, quite correctly, that her shifter only offers options for forward or reverse travel, and no sideways control. This checks out, because her Escalade (and most other automobiles made for the past century or so) have their “sideways” controls in the form of the fucking steering wheel, a cool little driving hack you in-the-know drivers should be aware of.
Of course, this was noted multiple times in the comments:
Plus, this one gets in the extra little dig with “wheelbar!” Gold! brutal, funny gold!
Look, just in general, I would have thought that most people, upon driving and hearing a loud crunching sound, would know to just stop, and ideally get out of the car and see what the hell is going on. Moving in the direction of travel you were going in when you hit the whatever, especially when you can still hear the sounds of bending metal, is generally a bad idea, at least if your goal is to have less damage to your car.
There’s any number of ways she could have slowly and carefully backed away from the bollard, ideally utilizing some of that “sideways” control offered by the steering wheel, to minimize the damage, instead of raking the entire length of the side of the car against the bollard.
Then there’s the suggestion that, somehow, if these were red instead of yellow, they’d be much better? Was the color what confused her? It seems more like she didn’t see them at all, but if she saw them, saw that they were yellow and thought “Oh! yellow poles! There’s no way a yellow pole could cause any harm! Yellow is the color of bananas and twinkies, nature’s softest elements, so this yellow pole must be quite similar, quite similar indeed!”
Can this all be real? Is this person just trolling for engagement? Is it all a setup, designed to stir click-worthy and monetizible wrath in the minds of people? Is it just fuel for some misogynist’s future, mis-informed screed about gender and driving? Because I don’t want to hear that shit.
I mean, look, we’ve all fucked up while driving. An Escalade is huge and the visibility isn’t that great; I’m not necessarily immune from a similar sort of fuck-up. The actual driving into the bollard isn’t the issue. It’s the making the video about it, with the determined confidence of idiocy, but, then again, making these videos is what this woman does. Her life is content, and this is definitely content. I’m not so different, just, you know, homelier and drive much cheaper cars. If I did this, the only way I could cause $30,000 worth of damage is if I shredded $24,000 in cash against the bollard in the process.
I think this is real, at least in the sense that the event happened, and her reactions are real. But she’s also likely very aware of the engagement and reaction this will have.
But, here I am, talking about it. To you! Matt told me to, but I agreed without protest because I saw the damn videos and was as baffled and captivated as anyone. What does this say about us, all of us? I mean, there’s her, with these baffling decisions and what seems to be as many qualifications to drive an Escalade as your average land-squirrel, and then there’s me, watching it over and over and wondering how this can be and playing right smack dab into the whole internet economy of cultivated outrage.
But still, let’s recap: bollards are there to keep people from driving their Escalades into expensive buildings or over expensive people. If you hear a crunch while slowly driving in a parking lot just stop. See what’s going on before continuing to drive. And, yes, if you hit an inert, immobile object like a bollard or an obelisk or a tree stump, it is definitely, unquestionably your fault.
This Photo Of A Car Crashed Perfectly Into A Driving School Under A ‘Learn To Drive’ Sign Gets Better When You Find Out Who The Driver Was
The Car Crashes From The ’70s TV Show ‘CHiPS’ Are Dazzling Dances Of Car Chaos
That Viral Tweet About Truck Bed Sizes Over The Years Is Just Stupid
I Can’t Stop Watching This Driver Get Their Car Absolutely Wedged In A Sinkhole
I kid, because I think this website is great, but have you ever noticed that so many article thumbnail picture have YouTube Face?
Like guys, we’re gonna click on the articles, we don’t need youtube face. I see enough YouTube face every day, on youtube. Mercedes’ cringe face on the Passat article just makes these look like sweaty omg please watch my terrible youtube video.
Yes, I did notice that.
I’ve also noticed. And I won’t click on those ones unless they appear to be something I’m very interested in. I have an immediate negative reaction to that visual.
For me it’s not enough to not click on the article but it is off-putting, and probably unconsciously makes me marginally less likely to click. It just looks greasy and rancid. Not to mention that it clashes horribly in feel with the very nice slab-serif font used for the headlines and body text.
Is there any way to not embed IdiotToks? I’d rather give the views to anyone reposting this on another video platform than the originator.
I am also confused as to why her Escalade has “all-terrain” tires on bro-dozer wheels (so, very little sidewall)?
Wait, actually no, I am not.
Nothing confusing about it. An idiot who drives in an idiotic fashion drives an idiotically modded vehicle.
It all makes perfect sense!
Who could have guessed that everyone carrying a device in their pockets that can access all the information civilization has amassed over the centuries in an instant would somehow make mankind as a whole this much dumber.
They’re like 2 feet tall. Who can even see them?
Just like Toddlers….
And toddlers do less damage and are easier to escape.
Given the state of healthcare in the US, a scraped toddler might also have a 30k repair bill.
We should paint toddlers red
Tried that.
Some parents aren’t ready to make some sacrifices for their childrens’ safety.
Not to mention, the “handlebars” of an Escalade are probable four feet from the ground.
It doesn’t matter what the subject is, this type of phone video where someone is talking to the camera makes me very uncomfortable.
This has to be the funniest yet saddest commentary I’ve ever seen. I hate calling people “NPC’s” but I can’t think of a better way to describe this lady. She’s completely oblivious and shouldn’t be licensed to drive a Red Wagon, let alone a fucking a Escalade.
You’d think… just remember, these people can’t barely remember to breathe, let alone think clearly enough to stop the car and look.
One of my neighbors did a hit and run on my car last week. It’s not the worst damage, but I have a relatively new Corolla hatchback and now I have to get my rear bumper replaced because some cunt didn’t leave a note despite knowing full well they hit me.
Maybe she’s part of the AI dataset used to train autonomous vehicles to hit things (such as people) and keep on going?
Shoutout to Ryan in the comments:
“Ryannnnn
I work in autobody and these are the people that pay my bills. And buy me a new truck,sled,bike. Thanks”
[Takes deep breath, goes back to watching the little videos of watermen fishing for crabs, and house inspectors finding construction mistakes, and all of the people who refinish wooden furniture they got at the thrift store, and more people who clean lint from dryer hoses, and that guy who explains how traffic lights work, and that other guy who shows how a scrap metal lot works, and that family that makes candy at the ocean. Useful stuff that makes the world better. Aah, much better. My feed is awesome.]
Your feed sounds really good. Seriously! Especially the traffic light stuff. Been fascinated with that for years, especially the old 3M programmable visibility signals. These have Fresnel lenses and used special tape applied to optical limiters for shaping the light output. Made them ideal for adjacent-lane use. I saw these as a kid and was like, how did that do THAT?
Traffic Light Doctor
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6cgrhoSbBBA4xeHG6Vgm-w
I really have spent way too much time watching dryer vents being professionally cleaned, and sidewalks being powerwashed, and concrete swimming pools being repaired. I have cars to fix, and thereby make me angry, but as I wind down at night I do enjoy seeing people who are just good at what they do.
Unconsciously parsed that last sentence as ‘My weed is awesome.’
‘Quiet videos’ is what I call them. Soothing and lightly interesting: great background when you’re doing something else. I quite like Mudlarking the Thames—a lady finding stuff at low tide and talking about the history (where it can be identified) and/or making up little stories about how the object got there. As London has been around for many centuries, the range of finds is fascinating
I’m definitely going to check out The Traffic Light Doctor: thanks for posting that
Right up my alley, thanks!
I read the “Tash” under her screen name as “Trash”, which would be far more accurate.
The steering wheelbar is called the tiller, bagnabbit!
Here I was, sitting with renewed hope for humanity after hearing Merecedes refunded some money on the Passat she sold. Then BAM, like getting hit in the face with a fish, I am back to the real world where everyone is a gotdamn Idiot.
I also like that she’ll have to go back to the ATM to pay for the repairs..
All I have to say is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhJQp-q1Y1s
When I had my first (and hopefully ONLY….-> knocks on all wood in house) at-fault minor accident, your brain does a lot of mental gymnastics to try to figure out a way to blame something/someone else, at least partially.
But that’s stupid, because as much as you want to blame literally anyone/anything else… at some point, you just have to tell yourself to shut the hell up and take full ownership. It’s called growing up and being a damn adult.
We all make mistakes, no one is infallible… but it’s much worse that people don’t accept blame for things that are clearly their fault.
When I’ve had people hit my car, or wrong me in some other way, if they apologize then I forgive and move on, immediately. If they don’t, it just tells me they aren’t mature.
I got a lesson in the mental gymnastics people do at 16. I was at a friend’s house and parked my car off the side of the street (all 4 tires off pavement in gravel parking strip). The dumbass neighbor decides to back out of his driveway, across two lanes, directly into my driver’s door (keep in mind, the car was parked and unoccupied). In his mind this was somehow my fault because “you danm kids are always parking there” off the street, in a designated parking area…
Ugh… that’s annoying.
Someone did something very similar to me in my car, but I was inside of it (while it was stationary/parked).
…apparently it was my fault when they backed their car in to my non-moving vehicle.
I thought gas station poles were bad for intentionally dinging your door when you get out to pump the gas, but bank poles have them beat hands down.
“I bought the escalade cuz it has ALL the features over a Tahoe”
Proceeds to completely not use the 360 degree camera which comes on these for situations exactly like this.
Hmm…$30k worth of damage to make another $100k from going viral. On paper, I guess it makes sense but this sounds similar to someone breaking their own arm because they’re addicted to painkillers.
I’m making some assumptions about this person based solely on the two videos I just watched, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that I have biblically intense levels of disdain for her and everything she represents.
Whether this is an act for clicks or she really is that stupid, I am 100% with you on the level of disdain. The entire human race is worse off for everything about this.
Proof that our USA drivers tests don’t mean a thing.
BAN TIKTOK
Then when these dingbats move on to other platforms, ban those too.
BAN THEM ALL. I couldn’t care less who owns them. Chinese. American. Vulcans. Klingons. Whatever.
Was with you til the banning of Klingons.
One of my drivers scraped the entire passenger side of our fleet vehicle against a landscaper’s lift gate in a narrow sidestreet, and I couldn’t even get the supervisor to require a doctor’s exam because he had already announced his retirement. At least this dingbat has to pay for the damage she incurred; my guy got a loaner while the shop performed fourteen thousand bucks’ worth of repairs to our Bolt.
I think I lost 20 IQ points just listening to her talk. I can’t believe thousands of people watch this person’s videos. Yet again I find myself hoping an asteroid will hit the Earth.
The AGIs expected in a year or two will watch this video and take care of the destruction of mankind — no need for an asteroid.
What does my Adjusted Gross Income have to do with this?
After mankind is destroyed, your adjusted gross income will probably go down.
The asteroids watched it, too, made a sharp left, and dove straight into the sun instead.
I’ve been trying hard lately to be way less judgmental about people. Then I clicked on that first video and that task quickly got much tougher.
In short, this served its purpose – eyeballs on the screen watching it, and clicks, baby, clicks.
Yes, there are people who are like this out there, who must be led indoors like idiot fowl who would look up at falling rain until it drowned them.
But part of me is cynical, and believes they do this for sympathy clicks, for outrage clicks, for gits and shiggles clicks, to name a few.
Can’t wait to see the follow up on this one, where they attempt to hire an attorney because the bank bollard attacked the side of the car before she could turn the go-sideways wheel.
Outrage farming works. Better than quality content, better than being attractive, better than agreeing with a popular take, and better than sympathy. And that is the sad state of the algorithms.
I suspect that being an attractive young person who has an Escalade wasn’t doing enough for engagement, so this was an opportunity to get a lot more eyes on her content. And all those angry comments just mean more people will see her content, whether it’s this or something else. She will absolutely make another ragebait video when she needs to get more engagement again later.
Because of this, I refuse to watch videos of this type. I will not add to their views. I did not watch those videos. Performative stupidity makes me angry. Useless existence as a person, advertised to the world, makes me angry. I don’t enjoy being angry, so I refuse to buy in to the farmed Outrage.
Same. I know I’m not making a huge difference, but if we all refuse to engage, it will stop working.
I’ve also noticed that the conspiracy theorists end up with a lot more views if people try to debunk them. If I open Facebook, like half my feed is crap like flat Earth groups that get engagement from people arguing with them. It doesn’t help and it just increases their platform. At some point, it’s a lot more productive to just post your own content about the many ways to prove the curvature and hope that people engage with it. Never link to, reference, or respond to someone who only has a platform by ragebaiting.
“ so this was an opportunity to get a lot more eyes on her IDIOTIC CRAP. And all those angry comments just mean more people will see her IDIOTIC CRAP, whether it’s this or something else.”
There… fixed it for accuracy.
I’m not willing to go look and see if this is one instance of idiocy or a pattern. The perverse reward system of these algorithms means someone could put out quality content without significant views, then post one or two ragebait videos to expand their audience. She’s probably not posting anything substantially better, but I’m not going to assume and I’m not going to give her the views.
The only thing i can think of is how much the giantness of the Escalade played a role in this. You think she’ll reconsider this the next time she gets a new car?
Yes, she’ll go bigger to destroy those pesky bollards once and for all!
I hear the Cybertruck will just drive through bollards.
30K ?? maybe if it was a Rivian, I suspect she just went and traded in in as-is and lost that much
I’m amused that she calls them “bank poles” as if the only place metal bollards have ever existed is banks, and not ALL OVER THE PLACE. Although clearly she can’t see them, and only became aware of their existence at the bank when she wiped the side of her Escalade against one.
I’m guessing her life has been and will be defined by poles:
The one at the stripper club where her last job was.
The one that got her pregnant.
The one she drove into at the bank.
The one she walked into that caused her brain damage.