I’m not always sure how to handle things when some sort of social media something that involves cars goes viral. Sometimes, we just want to ignore it, but then again, our goal is to bring top-notch Brougham-grade quality automotive content to as many people as possible, even if those people didn’t realize how much they were craving and needing said car content. So, when something goes big and has a significant automotive angle, why not try to address it? So that’s what we’re doing now, as I invite you to join me in marveling at a TikTok video created by a person who slowly and destructively sideswiped a parking bollard, causing $30,000 worth of body damage to her new Cadillac Escalade. Over 3.7 million people watched this video, enrapt at a human being blaming an inert metal bollard that is sunk into the ground with concrete for being at fault in a wreck.
I wish I could definitively state why this video has captured the attention of so many; there’s some obvious things, of course. The person making it is conventionally attractive, there’s the undeniable draw of some nice, juicy schadenfreude, and it’s talking about something deeply familiar and relatable to many people: the fact that parking bollards exist. Beyond that I can’t really say, other than there really is something fascinating about watching someone in such complete denial about an event that happened.
The someone we’re talking about, by the way, is a – I guess you’d call them an influencer?– on social media, named Natalie Vacca, with over 270,000 followers on TikTok, and mostly seems to post videos of herself talking about stuff to the camera, with occasional cameos from dogs and kids. Looking at the environment and materials and locations of these videos, this person seems to be doing just fine, financially. They seem to be living a pretty cushy life, and part of that seems to include a recent-model Cadillac Escalade, which plays a crucial role in the video, which, here, you may as well just watch already:
@nat.vacca I cant be the only victim to yellow bank polls. #escalade #cadillac #autobody #crunch #matteblack #banks #cement #damage
I’m sure there’s like half a dozen things that you saw just now that are making you want to scream: someone not understanding the purpose of those bollards, saying “look what your metal pole did to my car” and then stating they don’t think it was their fault, and then calling a door handle a “handlebar” and saying “you hear a crunch and freeze, and then you keep going,” all of this, all of this, it almost feels like too much. Is it an act? Can this be serious? Are there people so clueless about the way Earth works that they believe all these things? And are allowed to drive a 5,600-pound SUV like an Escalade?
Of course, the comments are absolutely brutal. But it, somehow, gets even better, because ol’ Nat posted a response video where, bafflingly, she pretended to not be herself, and instead did the video as some other person “playing devil’s advocate about hitting bank poles” as though there’s two powerful and equal sides to the “should you grind your car into yellow parking bollards, causing lots of damage?” debate. Here, you have to watch this one, so you can enjoy that strangely satisfying feeling of wanting to scream about dumb things, yet again:
@nat.vacca Im just playing devils advocate #bollard #atm #followup #devilsadvocate #stlouis #escalade #cadillac #autobody #crunch #handlebar #satire
First of all, what the hell is the point of doing a response video as though you’re someone who is not you, but is also very clearly you? It feels absolutely unhinged. Why would you choose this? For objectivity? I don’t think objectivity works that way. I don’t think anything works that way?
The part where she’s defending the her-but-not-her for continuing to drive forward after hearing the crunch is particularly maddening. She notes, quite correctly, that her shifter only offers options for forward or reverse travel, and no sideways control. This checks out, because her Escalade (and most other automobiles made for the past century or so) have their “sideways” controls in the form of the fucking steering wheel, a cool little driving hack you in-the-know drivers should be aware of.
Of course, this was noted multiple times in the comments:
Plus, this one gets in the extra little dig with “wheelbar!” Gold! brutal, funny gold!
Look, just in general, I would have thought that most people, upon driving and hearing a loud crunching sound, would know to just stop, and ideally get out of the car and see what the hell is going on. Moving in the direction of travel you were going in when you hit the whatever, especially when you can still hear the sounds of bending metal, is generally a bad idea, at least if your goal is to have less damage to your car.
There’s any number of ways she could have slowly and carefully backed away from the bollard, ideally utilizing some of that “sideways” control offered by the steering wheel, to minimize the damage, instead of raking the entire length of the side of the car against the bollard.
Then there’s the suggestion that, somehow, if these were red instead of yellow, they’d be much better? Was the color what confused her? It seems more like she didn’t see them at all, but if she saw them, saw that they were yellow and thought “Oh! yellow poles! There’s no way a yellow pole could cause any harm! Yellow is the color of bananas and twinkies, nature’s softest elements, so this yellow pole must be quite similar, quite similar indeed!”
Can this all be real? Is this person just trolling for engagement? Is it all a setup, designed to stir click-worthy and monetizible wrath in the minds of people? Is it just fuel for some misogynist’s future, mis-informed screed about gender and driving? Because I don’t want to hear that shit.
I mean, look, we’ve all fucked up while driving. An Escalade is huge and the visibility isn’t that great; I’m not necessarily immune from a similar sort of fuck-up. The actual driving into the bollard isn’t the issue. It’s the making the video about it, with the determined confidence of idiocy, but, then again, making these videos is what this woman does. Her life is content, and this is definitely content. I’m not so different, just, you know, homelier and drive much cheaper cars. If I did this, the only way I could cause $30,000 worth of damage is if I shredded $24,000 in cash against the bollard in the process.
I think this is real, at least in the sense that the event happened, and her reactions are real. But she’s also likely very aware of the engagement and reaction this will have.
But, here I am, talking about it. To you! Matt told me to, but I agreed without protest because I saw the damn videos and was as baffled and captivated as anyone. What does this say about us, all of us? I mean, there’s her, with these baffling decisions and what seems to be as many qualifications to drive an Escalade as your average land-squirrel, and then there’s me, watching it over and over and wondering how this can be and playing right smack dab into the whole internet economy of cultivated outrage.
But still, let’s recap: bollards are there to keep people from driving their Escalades into expensive buildings or over expensive people. If you hear a crunch while slowly driving in a parking lot just stop. See what’s going on before continuing to drive. And, yes, if you hit an inert, immobile object like a bollard or an obelisk or a tree stump, it is definitely, unquestionably your fault.
This Photo Of A Car Crashed Perfectly Into A Driving School Under A ‘Learn To Drive’ Sign Gets Better When You Find Out Who The Driver Was
The Car Crashes From The ’70s TV Show ‘CHiPS’ Are Dazzling Dances Of Car Chaos
That Viral Tweet About Truck Bed Sizes Over The Years Is Just Stupid
I Can’t Stop Watching This Driver Get Their Car Absolutely Wedged In A Sinkhole
It seems worth mentioning that there are parallels between this episode and the videos and Torch using a chainsaw to remove lead acid batteries from a car… and writing about it.
On second thought… maybe not. What this woman did is, somehow, orders of magnitude dumber.
Umm, don’t you think she rakes in OVER $30K on those two videos going world viral?
And since nobody seems able to prove, not even through the bad acting, that she did it on purpose and it’s really a scam or fake, like so much other TikTok content, some poor insurance company is going to pay for the damages.
So it’s a win-win situation for her, probably gaining a lot of new followers/viewers/influence with this stunt.
Sure she is very attractive. Still I was tempted to post some funny mean comments, but then she won me over with the commentary. You people are mean. How can you pick on someone so incredibly stupid? I think the proper comment is Oh Honey! How I Met My Wife fans get this. But yes I know people this stupid. In the before times they were referred to as young, dumb, and full of Come on you didn’t think I’d actually write it out?
People like have always and will always exists but are a tiny minority. Glorifying them by reposting their nonsense just gives them a bigger voice and fools people into thinking this is commonplace.
Dear Autopian,
The internet was supposed to democratize information and thereby enlighten society. Information and knowledge at your fingertips! Our utopia is here!
All it really did was to give morons and con-artists a platform of false legitimacy.
Can we go back to the 90s? I won’t mind dial-up to send email if it means ridding ourselves of these people, the orange-guy, etc.
It gives a platform to all types of morons. My favorite type are the ones who consistently assume they are on the winning side of an argument while wanting to get ‘rid’ of people. Fascist much?
To be clear, by “ridding ourselves of these people” I just meant depriving idiots (both left and right wing) of a zero cost-of-entry platform. I certainly didn’t ask for encampments.
A platform to speak, before or completely without thinking, is not an asset or benefit to anyone. Just because someone has the freedom to speak, doesn’t mean they’re saying something worth listening to. Real information and legitimate debate then just gets lost in the noise.
And of course I’m on the right side of the argument. It’s my side, that’s why I’m on it.
But I’m always open to well thought out debate to change my mind.
let’s just all hope for her boyfriend’s mental state because no pretty face would stop me from doing something really bad after i found out if i was that boyfriend
Required to post an image of the Hot/Crazy curve here.
I really hope you’re not implying what I think you’re implying here. Domestic abuse is never justified.
ya,by bad I meant to go in the garage, lean on it the car and cry a little bit
I’ll agree that I am also not faultless. I’ve many a time clipped the edge of a cement curb that protrudes a little deeper than I thought at the end of a parking lane. But a bright yellow bollard? That’s a pretty tough one to miss, even in a large vehicle.
I’ve never Tok’d the Tik, and that choice is verified correct by this story.
Unrelated, but wtf is with the tires she has mounted on her wrapped Escalade?
Would someone please take this ladies keys away!!!
*lady’s
We don’t want to take away keys from all the ladies. That would be going too far.
Alas, and no way to edit my post…
If you hover over it, there’s a gear to the lower right that allows editing.
Apparently not after someone has commented on your post. LOL
I do agree the bollards should be taller, to prevent these kinds of accidents. But it Is still your fault for hitting the bollard then claiming its not your fault. It’s like saying, “it’s not my fault I hit the building someone put there”.
If they make them taller, Cadillac will just make the Escalades taller. Stop the arms race.
No matter how idiot proof you make it, the next day they build a better idiot
Yeah.
“New from Home Depot! Hand-powered screwdriver! Now you can drive your screws without the risk of electricity!”
*customer support call*
“how do you turn the screwdriver? I tried it and my house exploded.”
They’d make the escalade taller anyway.
“I do agree the bollards should be taller,”
No. They should make SUVs and trucks lower to improve their visibility. Trucks and SUVs have gotten to be too tall.
We both know car companies won’t do that anytime soon. So the taller bollards are the fix.
Why? I don’t care how much these idiots have to pay their insurance companies for their poor vehicle selection and operation. If the insurance goes up on those vehicles, maybe the visibility will eventually be improved by manufacturers.
Taller bollards can be fixed now. They wouldn’t have to wait for car companies to accommodate their shorter bollards.
No. The fix is let people suffer the consequences and be made to pay for driving a too-tall vehicle.
Let people suffer and blame the bollards like this lady. Instead of blaming the actual culprit. Great idea!
This this this. This crunch is mostly user error, but also part design flaw that encourages said users to make errors. I do not see the reason why Escalades have gotten so damn tall, and the design itself really does lend itself to some massive blind spots.
All I took from this is that 270,000 people are making themselves a little bit more stupid each day by paying any attention to this idiot whatsoever. For every small business that will lose revenue if TikTok goes away, ten people like this will lose the money they use to buy expensive toys they will then destroy to make more money to buy even more expensive toys and I’m 100% okay with that.
“All I took from this is that 270,000 people are making themselves a little bit more stupid each day by paying any attention to this idiot whatsoever”
+1… exactly what I was thinking.
Hoo yoo callin stoobid?
Sorry. I couldn’t finish reading the article.
All of this [gestures broadly at the article and all of its contents] is why I simply completely avoid stuff like Tik Tok, Instagram et al.
I like you Jason, I really do. Please stop posting commentary on Tik Tok videos. You’re better than this.
So much this.
“Is this person just trolling for engagement?”
Yes. Absolutely yes. And obviously it worked as her dumb-ass behavior is being rewarded grandly.
Ok, I was raging and was prepared to go off because of all of this, all of this, but then I saw the response video. It was instantly soothing. I now understand. This woman is brilliant and the response video, with its wide-eyed incredulity, capped of what is obviously a perfect game of Social Media Gettin’ Me Paid. Brava. Well done. I do not begrudge her that banged up Escalade. She’s clearly earning her bank.
I just went and checked out her tok ticker or whatever you call it. Confirmed. She’s brilliant. And Jason, knowing this, has trolled us all into giving this woman more clicks. Kickback scheme maybe?
Precisely. This is what you do when life gives you escals. You make Escalade.
I would never consider a sham person who trolls or spews bullshit to be brilliant. There are plenty of better adjectives. Earning money by being a dipshit doesn’t make you brilliant. Orange Mussolini proved that. Tricking morons does not show intelligence.
In order to trick morons you just have to be a tiny bit smarter than the morons. Or, in the case of Orange Foolius, at least louder.
Exactly it just proves the majority of people out there are fucking idiots. Being smarter than a fucking idiot does not make you brilliant lol.
Apparently it’s a recurring schtick, per some weirdo who tried to start Discourse (TM) with me yesterday. (Somehow I’m sexist for not laughing at an inherently sexist punch line? Just because a woman made it? Good grief, go back to Twitter with that horsecrap.) It’s a dumb schtick, though, and it didn’t land when it reached a wider audience.
The punch line here is essentially “woman bad at cars,” and as a woman who’s fed up with being brushed off in automotive spaces because of that very stereotype, this dumb lady and her broken Escalade can sod right off for good. I’m sure there are situations where this bit might work better, but not with a large vehicle that she just destroyed that just reinforces the garbage old stereotype that women can’t handle cars.
This parking lot whoopsie ideally called for a quiet call to her body shop and/or insurance company, plus some self-reflection on her choice in vehicles (specifically, vehicle size) and her own driving skills. Posting to TikTok in a way that invites the “hurr durr women suck at driving” trolls to come on out ain’t it, hon.
Agreed, it certainly doesn’t help the sexist narrative or get more women into actually caring about cars beyond as an appliance. It really is sad to me because I am sure a large portion of her audience are nodding their heads and agreeing with such a bad take. That is why I take massive offence by assigning anyone like this with the term brilliant.
+1 for the Orange Turd…and that’s all I got to say about that.
I wouldn’t say she’s brilliant. It doesn’t take brilliance to figure out that a lot of people out there love to watch videos of people being dumb or doing dumb shit.
Ok. Officially on the “ban Tik Tok” train.
What the fuck did I just watch?!
Crap. You watched CRRRAAAP. CRAP is exactly what you watched and Tik Tok is full of it.
And you gave her the one thing she wants more than anything.
Attention.
Ugh, influencers. ’nuff said.
first clue you’re dealing with a space cadet, crazy eyes. Looking forward to her maturing into a full fledge middle aged Karen.
I assume “I don’t think it was my fault” is her favorite thing to say.
*runs into a police car that is parked at the police station*
“It’s not my fault they parked there.”
She’d better watch out for the rolling yellow bollards that are laying lengthwise and have human children getting in and out of them. How did I become an extra in the movie Idiocracy?
Ugh…. I don’t even know what to say anymore.
Gotta keep an eye out on them bollards. Must have been playing possum for 20 years before it decided to strike………