I Have Three Months To Turn This Broken $350 Jeep Into An Off-Road Beast And The Truth Is: I’m Screwed

350 Dollar Jeep Zj Ts2
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Project Swiss Cheese, Project Slow Devil, Project Redwood, Project POStal — they are four legends that, against all odds, went from hopeless rustbuckets to road tripping kings and then beasts on the off-road trails of Moab, Utah. If I could pull those off, and if I could fix the unfixable Willys FC in Washington and Chrysler Valiant Ute in Australia and if I could get the $600 Chrysler minivan through Germany’s inspection, then surely this stripped-down Jeep Grand Cherokee ZJ that has sat abandoned in a Van Nuys, California parking lot for a year (and that sat abandoned for many years before that) should be no problem, right? Wrong. Here’s why my 2024 Moab Easter Jeep Safari build could be my hardest one yet.

 

I realize I’m the Boy Who Cried Wolf at this point when it comes to fixing cheap, dilapidated junkers given my history:

But trust me when I say: This time really is different.

Times Have Changed, And Wrenching Just Doesn’t Come Easy Anymore

It’s not about the project being the very hardest of any I’ve ever undertaken — I think that belongs to either the 1948 Willys Jeep (which needed significant engine and transmission work), the Postal Jeep (which needed a huge length of the frame welded back up, and also engine work), or Project Cactus (that Valiant Ute that needed pretty much everything). Still, this Jeep has never run under my ownership, it’s a complete mess inside, it has no driveshaft or exhaust, and frankly I know nothing about it, so it really is going to be tough even if I had time. But nowadays things have changed for me. I’m working hard to make this website, The Autopian, sustainable, and the precious time that I do have off I’m devoting to my girlfriend, whom I’ve somehow avoided scaring off for over 13 months now. I also find myself constantly sick — it’s a cold, it’s COVID, it’s the flu, it’s a sinus infection. It’s just a never ending illness shitstorm that really started when I got to California.

There just is no time for this Jeep project. And beyond that, my wrenching circumstances are far from ideal. No, I’m not living in a Toyota Land Cruiser down by the river and getting literal Trenchfoot, but I also don’t have a garage to work in, and that’s gonna be a first for any of my projects. Mind you, the arrangement isn’t bad: I’ve recently been granted this little space at the back of a parking lot — a space for which I am deeply grateful:

Screen Shot 2024 01 03 At 2.00.49 Pm

It’s covered, and reasonably flat, and I should be able to do some high-quality wrenching out there. I need to figure out how to store my tools in a secure way, and I’ll need to figure out what to do about lighting, but this is a solid arrangement — a little tougher than my usual setup, but solid. I’ve done tons of driveway wrenching in my day (often at below-zero temperatures) so I’m not too worried about this.

I’ll be able to make the space work, but whether I’ll have the time to fix this Jeep, especially given that I don’t have the Jeep contacts / friends I used to have in Michigan, I’m unsure. This project is one I’ll likely have to do entirely on my own. The last project I did the vast majority of work on was Project POStal, and that was nearly the death of me. And that was when I was single and didn’t have a site to keep afloat.

So this is going to be impossible even if it were a medium-difficulty build, but I suspect this will be more than that.

 

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The video above shows when I bought this Jeep back in 2021 for $350 out of a lumberyard in Virginia. The previous owner had snatched the manual transmission out of it, the exhaust was missing, the headliner was gone, and frankly — it had been stripped for parts. But the body looked decent, the rare manual transmission-ECU was there, and it was a factory-original manual ZJ that deserved to be saved from the crusher, especially since I knew of a second factory-original five-speed ZJ that had a transmission but was completely rotted out. Here you can see my friend Dustin and I wrenching on that rusty Jeep, removing parts:

 

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So I paid $350 for the 100% complete-but-rusty Jeep, and after Dustin and I pulled a bunch of parts off of it and jammed those parts into this red ZJ, I hauled the dead red machine from Michigan to California when I moved last year.

It’s been sitting in my work parking lot ever since. Here are some pictures from earlier last year:

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Here’s how it sits today:

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At least the body remains reasonably rust-free:

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So, what all do I need to do to this thing? Well, everything. Here’s a basic list off the top of my head.

PHASE 1: Essential Repairs

  • Install shifter
  • Install custom brake pedal that my friend made. Install new (longer) brake hoses that can handle a lift kit when I install one; bleed brakes.
  • Replace the radiator, shroud, and coolant overflow bottle (I have spares of each in the Jeep). While the rad is out:
    • Do the water pump and thermostat for good measure
    • Find a power steering pump (there may be one in the Jeep, if not, it’s junkyard time) and install that
    • Install serpentine belt
    • Screen Shot 2024 01 04 At 9.30.22 Am
    • Replace engine mounts (they’re cracked; I have new ones in the back of the Jeep)
    • Install airbox and air intake tubing (install new air filter)
  • Install new header panel, grille, headlights

Screen Shot 2024 01 04 At 9.29.41 Am

  • Hook up starter motor
  • Change engine oil
  • Install new 12-volt battery and try to crank the motor over with the spark plugs out. Reinstall new spark plugs, along with distributor and rotor. Maybe coil.
  • Drop fuel tank and clean it out (I’m told the fuel system is bad; the Jeep hasn’t run in years). Replace fuel filter/hoses as necessary
  • Try to fire up the engine
  • If the engine runs well, good. Install new exhaust.
  • Now it’s time to rummage among my driveshafts and try to find two that fit. If I have none, I’ll have a shop modify my shafts. Install those.
  • Replace fluids in drivetrain. Then I’ll start driving the Jeep around, checking various systems.

PHASE 2: Lift, Skids, And More Off-Road Mods

  • Install custom junkyard lift kit (about 3.5″). Maybe it makes sense to make the driveshafts AFTER installing the lift. We’ll see.
  • Install all-terrain tires (31×10.50)
  • Strip interior, disinfect, get rid of cat feces smell.

 

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  • Install new seats and carpet and headliner from rusty Jeep. This will require me to weld a nut to a broken seat bolt and extract it (damn rust).

Screen Shot 2024 01 04 At 9.05.05 Am

  • Install skid plates for fuel tank, transfer case. Install rare rear tire carrier as part of the fuel tank skidplate installation process.

 

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PHASE 3: Underwater Breathing & Axle Beef

  • Install snorkel
  • Install new 3.73 axles, replacing the weak Dana 35 rear axle with a Dana 44 and swapping the Dana 30 up front for one with the right gears. (I have the Dana 44 (see above); I need to find a 3.73 Dana 30 at a junkyard)
  • Find steel Jeep Liberty KJ steel 16″ wheels. Install 265 75R16 tires (these are 32s; they look better than 31s on the ZJ).
  • Bolt up sway bar disconnects for improved articulation

There are probably a million things I’ve forgotten about. All I know is: This is daunting, and the only way to get through it is to follow a plan. Phase one is to just get the thing on the road. From there, I can worry about making it off-road worthy.

But the Easter Jeep Safari is at the end of March. Is three months enough time? I fear not. Especially since I’m doing this alone. Gulp.

 

215 thoughts on “I Have Three Months To Turn This Broken $350 Jeep Into An Off-Road Beast And The Truth Is: I’m Screwed

  1. In Software Delivery circles, it would seem like all that interior nonsense is what we would call MVP+
    Count the number of people going with you. You need that many seats plus yours.
    You do not NEED
    grill (just the headlights)
    snorkel
    any interior besides seats

    AND
    If we are honest…
    anything but the stock drivetrain

    MVP is a safely moving vehicle with 4wd.
    Anything else is MVP+

    I guess I am saying that I would hate to see you spend two weeks on a headliner and miss out on an something that makes it move.

  2. David that neverending cold thing is a sign your immune system is compromised.. need rest. If you can’t rest, at least start 2000 IU of Vitamin D every day.. that broke the cycle of my colds, had a cold for the whole of December.

    just the essential list is overwhelming to me.. best wishes, pick one thing and do it, revel in that success, repeat..

  3. \(^o^)/ Finally!!! I know it sucks to miss the ’24 Jeep Safari, but that just gives you extra time on this ZJ to get it ready for 2025…instead of just getting it into running/street legal condition, properly rebuild it into something worthy of its Holy Grail label.

  4. For the tools, maybe get a contractor job box? They’re weatherproof, and can be locked up securely.

    I hear you on the time to work on projects. It always seems to get less and less.

  5. You can’t spell Jeep without a P, an E, and another E….

    As I cat owner with an idiot cat who likes to piss on things, both Resolve Urine Destroyer and Natures Miracle are great at taking the “U” out of “cat urine”. Take the carpeting to a car wash and power wash the hell out of it with the soapy water setting. Then wash the interior with soap, cold water and Urine Destroyer. You may need to spray the Nature’s Miracle on things and let it work. Follow the directions, and your interior will smell like motor oil, instead of motor oil and cat pee.

    1. Resolve Urine Destroyer and Natures Miracle are great at taking the “U” out of “cat urine”.

      Leaving you with “cat rine”? Does that smell better or worse than cat urine? 😉

  6. If I lived out in CA, I’d help ya out there David. Unfortunately, I live far closer to your old stomping ground. Good luck, I hope you’re able to find some brave souls that will help you out in exchange for cheap, but cold beer.

  7. David, deal with it: you can’t do this forever. You now have a girlfriend, basically no decent space to work and most important, no time!

    Also, you have the kittens and this site.

    It is time to consider a house in the suburbs with a nice garage and a project car that will take years to be completed on your spare time between your future kids games and ballet presentations, wedding aniversaries and other dates your future wife thinks are important, holidays at your in laws or hosting them and keeping the house beautiful enough to avoid HOA notifications (you now how that works).

    And its fine! Project cars should not have deadlines, because everything else in life has. Project cars should bring joy, not stress.

    1. keeping the house beautiful enough to avoid HOA notifications (you now how that works).

      Based on the state of his Detroit place I don’t think he does know. 🙂

  8. Are we calling it project “Cathouse”? That should get some sideways glances from the girlfriend. “Honey, I’ll be in the cathouse this evening”.

  9. Hah! I have LIVED in worse places than your nice, covered wrenching space, and so have you. We’ve all seen the pictures. Now get on with it 😉

    1. I laughed when lighting was mentioned. I guess the natural SoCal sunlight streaming in from multiple directions is insufficient.

      David, when the sun goes down, it’s natures way or reminding you that your girlfriend needs you to finish up for the night.

  10. For the interior cleaning – ditch the carpet, it’s probably beyond savable. Go without, or source some newer ones. It’ll save you boatloads of wasted time trying to clean them. If the cats got in the seats, take the trim off (the fabric bits) and run them in a laundromat washer a couple times with ample laundry scent boosters. I did this to a XJ that was a heavy smoker’s vehicle and it really removed all the smell, even with keeping the headliner in. The seats should come apart easy – might be a good project for the GF to help with.

  11. There’s plenty of room to share this joy. Tell the gf you’re spending an evening thusly: her favorite take out, bring a Bluetooth speaker, you’re playing me your top 20 all time most meaningful songs, and more importantly what they mean to you, while I listen and tidy up the Jeep. You’ll bring your two most versatile conversational tools–“tell me more,” and “how did that make you feel”–not because you’re patronizing her but because, like a vise-grip and a long handle screwdriver, they’re good at getting the job done in almost any (conversational) situation. Think ahead and bring a comfy camping chair. Then don’t be surprised if “Jeep night” becomes a thing. If you’ve done fav music thoroughly already there’s plenty of alternatives. Point is she gets invited into your very “David space,” and the invitation is explicitly to know her better. Great date.

    1. That’ll work amazingly, or it’ll blow up spectacularly. I feel like there’s an appropriate Wonka quote here…. “The suspense is terrible, I hope it will last!”

  12. “a never ending illness shitstorm that really started when I got to California”

    Ooohhh. That’s how it starts!
    First you think those fruity meatless meals are ok,
    Then you begin to like them, but the chills should tell you something.
    Next thing you know you’re wearing Ray Bans,
    Wasting away on a surf beach with zinc paste on your nose,
    And throwing up at the mere sight of any vehicle with rust or like OMG!
    … doesn’t even drive itself!

    Run David! Run!

    1. never ending illness shitstorm that really started when I got to California”

      Allergies?
      When I lived in the bay area, the grass pollen sure affected me.
      (David, perhaps you are allergic to cats?)

  13. 1. Clean cat-related mess FIRST. Use enzyme cleaner
    2. Get GF involved. Relationships evolve by sharing stuff
    3. Get help (fellow Autopians, acquaintances, local Jeep people…)

  14. I don’t know squat about wrenching, David, but I say you just need to get in there and do *something*. Once you start working on the Jeep and get something done, the project won’t feel as daunting because you will be making some progress. Kind of like ripping a Band-Aid off. Instead of thinking about it and being intimidated by it, get in there. You’ll see some progress and it’ll feel good. I know…easier said than done, with all you have going on.

  15. “Abandoned”

    I know a few cats who’d be sad to hear you say that.

    Whatever happened to that EV conversion project?

    Also I just realized DT sounds a lot like Kirk Hammett of Metallica.

  16. First of all, yessss I can’t wait. Second of all, we’ve seen what you can do, you’re not fooling anybody.You’ll have a whole crew of local jeep connections by the end. Your hardest job is going to be making it look like this is hard.

  17. I’ll be the voice of reason. You live in sunny socal now and have a life outside of nasty rusty cars. You already got a nice looking wrangler and a significant other since arriving. Enjoy those, possibly at the same time and forget about this pile of hot mess. It’s not worth it.

  18. You have a plan, now it’s time to utilize your management skills. Crowd source the work – I’m sure you could get a few Autopians to provide wrenching labour and you provide the direction. David’s Jeep Rebuild Training School. No tuition required, just bring your labour and I’m betting over the course of a few weekends you could knock off a substantial amount of the work on that list. Heck you could even provide additional incentive via Autopian membership discounts.

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