The Pontiac Aztek tent — it’s a General Motors accessory so rare that many have perished on years-long, arduous quests to attain one. I, somehow, didn’t have to cross arid deserts or critter-infested jungles to get my hands on the Holy Grail of Car Accessories, but I did have to drive to Anaheim. What I purchased there for a measly $150 is a true masterpiece of in-car living, and one that I must share with you all now.
It’s GM part number 12497515, and it’s called the “Tent Pkg,Lift Gate (No Awning)” or “Tent Assembly.” Many have dreamt of it, few have actually seen it, and I never expected to be among the lucky latter group. Then, on Tuesday night, a moment of serendipity struck.
I’d seen the tent for sale on Facebook for a paltry $150, and in what must certainly be a mistake, it seemed to have been up for multiple weeks by the time I messaged the seller — likely one of thousands blowing up his inbox. Somehow, in what I can only describe as kismet akin winning the lottery, he chose my message to respond to, and even agreed to hold the tent until I was back from the Toyota 4Runner debut event.
But then, under the cover of darkness on Tuesday night, just after the 4Runner reveal, I showed up at the man’s house, and completed the greatest deal of my life: A priceless Pontiac Aztek tent in exchange for measly American currency.
I feel bad for having ripped off Lino Perez, especially given the cute dog in his profile picture, but when it comes to Aztek tents, one has no choice but to be a bit ruthless. It’s a harsh, harsh world out there for those in search of The Grail, and I wasn’t going to let my normally painfully-agreeable nature screw me out of something that has potential to bring me lifelong happiness. Here, if you’d like to see what true ecstasy looks like, watch this clip I took just after leaving poor Lino in a true lurch — tentless, alone, and hollow inside:
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As you can see, I was feeling anything but hollow inside, because the kit appeared to be complete! And if you’re curious, here’s everything included:
It’s actually a really simple kit. The Aztek-branded bag includes one large tent fabric, with one side open and the other having a big zipper-door. There’s a pole in its own separate bag, and in another bag there are tent stakes and outriggers. That’s all there is to it.
Setup looks pretty simple per YouTuber WatchJRGo. Step one: You fold down the tailgate and open the hatch:
Step two: You attach the back side of the tent (closest to the front of the Aztek) via its straps to both the wheel opening and the roof:
Then you shove the tent pole into the front, and hook it all up to the fabric tent, which you wrap around the tailgate:
Attach the outriggers from the top down to the ground, and boom, you have the masterpiece shown towards the top of this article. Heck, let’s show it again:
Wow it’s beautiful. How I scored such a masterpiece without having to take out a loan or hire a hitman is a miracle that I will never understand. But I’m glad, because this is all part of an effort to get 200 readers to sign up for Autopian membership! We’ve seen, 93 new orders, 3 gifts, and 29 upgrades, for a total of 125 so far. If 75 more folks sign up here for a membership that gives you exclusive content and optional Autopian swag/custom artwork from Jason, then I’ll have to buy a Pontiac Aztek to go along with this tent, then daily drive that Aztek for a month and live in the tent for a week.
I’ve always wanted an Aztek, so 75 of you: Please sign up! I’ve got a tent locked and loaded, and now it’s time to find the 2000s-era hideous GM SUV to go along with it.
I really feel like an Aztek should have come with a pyramid, not a tent.
If David stays in this abode later in the year, he could title it: The Winter of Our Discount Tent.
You win the internet today.
+1 Shakespeare and +1 Steinbeck
[I’m definitely stealing this line from another Lemons Rally team, but:]
If he uses the center console cooler to make prison wine, it could be The Wrath of Grapes.
Please accept this shiny hood ornament for the comment of the day…
Aztek joke: I was going to buy one until I found out there was no front tent option.
Where was that door?
You have no idea how jealous I am right now, man. This was the single coolest thing I saw on display at a dealership when I was a kid. It came out around the time we shopped for my first car, and this was before roof tents really blew up as a thing. This wasn’t on the roof, though! It was the WHOLE BACK OF THE AZTEK! And you could CAMP IN IT!!! The Pontiac dealers near us had like, a whole little forest/jungle corner to show this bad boy off with all kinds of other camping accoutrements on display. It was rad.
Not enough to sway us into an Aztek instead of a Grand Am, but y’know — it was still hella sweet. I even got made fun of by my parents by how cool I thought it was, but I didn’t care! LOOK AT IT. Er, maybe don’t look at the front of the Aztek, which is the kind of goofy that you only appreciate once it’s become a certified flop and you feel a little bad for the car. I love a vehicular misfit.
But the back with the tent??? So cool.
The long standing joke about Azteks is ” I would have bought one until I found out there was no front tent option” Where was the door?
David’s business expenses are definitely cooler than mine.
Wait, I’m supposed to bill that to the company?
Categorize it as Travel>Lodging>Flexible on the report David.
An in-tents journey. I camp believe you found it
So, something I’ve long wondered is how well the Aztek tent would work with other cars. Like, would this convert a Volkswagen Tiguan into a camper or maybe a wagon of some kind?
I’ve wondered about similar GM vehicles like the Buick Rendezvous
I want to say I’ve seen someone make this work with a Honda Element, so surely that could be done.
Doesn’t it partially utilize the fold-down tailgate? So I think you’d need a vehicle that has one, which are sadly rare these days.
Feels like the genesis of a new series: “Will it Aztek?”
I recently ran across a generic tailgate tent on Amazon, so if the Aztek one won’t work I’m sure there’s one that will.
We have one we bought for our Forester. We used it only one time and it withstood a massive hail storm better than the Forester did.
In a similar vein, I’m thinking that anyone handy with a sewing machine and/or a level of cheery determination ought to be able to hack together some sort of car tent from bits of other tents.
Which you should now also do as content. And live in it for a month.
You can thank me later.
In that last picture: Is that an Aztek-branded air mattress??? David, tent isn’t worth a penny if you don’t have the optional air mattress to actually get some shut-eye.
It must be. At first I thought it was the bumper, but the tailgate would be in the way. You probably had to buy the mattress separately from the tent.
IIRC, the Aztek air mattress was a thing.
If you google it, you can see Doug Demuro chilling on one in the back of an Aztek, maybe he can track down that owner
The Aztek air mattress is the true Grail of Aztek-branded accessories.
I love you showed up to a seller’s place for an item that’s been listed for weeks, paid full asking price, and you think you ripped him off. This is the very definition of a perfect sale. Everybody is happy.
I took the tone of the article to be in jest–he even suggested people have died trying to find this tent…
I’m sure it was, but what fun is it if I don’t give DT a bit of a hard time in good fun?
How does that work with the hatch being open all night? Is there some kind of switch to keep the interior lights off so they don’t drain the battery?
Is there a car that doesn’t have a switch for that?
Maybe I’m imagining things. I know you can turn off the dome light on every car I’ve owned, but aren’t there other lights that come on when you open the door that don’t have an off button?
The many times dead battery in my cars agrees.
i had cars of that era that had an anti-drain feature where it turned off the lights after 15 minutes.
Funny, the sign-in code I was given this morning was “12497515”
I didn’t know you’d be living in the palace that is GM PN 12497515! That’s not roughing it!
If you get an Aztec you can probably set it up on the street and rent it out as an Airbnb Experience with this bad boy
Tesla has nothing against the might of pre-bankrupcy GM!
If you *really* want to impress us, buy an Aztek from MI to DD and live in!
Such a nutter for sticking to the bit :).
I was lucky enough to experience this back when it was new. I still remember it to this day. All the effort and this huge tent looking thing and it netted a total of an extra 14 inches of usable space.
It was really novel back then to see a tent attached to a car. So it was cool for that, but barely useful.
20 years later I think the tent might still be around now that I think about it.
I’m just glad the Aztek came with a branded tent and not Yoga pants.
Gotta save something for the next subscription drive: 300 new subscribers and David spends the month in yoga pants.
Could not unsee mental image. Must gouge eyes.
Yugo… and pants? Maybe that’ll work
I suspect you were being just a teensy bit facetious here, but I find myself doing the same thing. “OMG there’s a vaguely motorcycle-shaped pile of parts for sale! It’s an incredibly desirable model [Narrator: it’s so not] and it’s only a few hundred miles away! I need to lock this down NOW!!”
In fact I did that last weekend. As with the tent, the ad had even been up for a couple of weeks before I pounced. The primary reason for the catlike behavior was that on top of the parts pile – like a little crown – sat a very rare gas cap. Once I got a close look at everything – and washed off roughly 30 years’ worth of dust and dirt – it was clear that the wheels are in fantastic shape, the aftermarket exhaust is quite interesting, and it has a rather nice-looking fuel tank. Score!
I just bought a non-matching unpair of 90’s 8-speed Shimano XT shifters because I have spares of the parts they were missing.
When they arrive I’ll have a fully functional set of MTB shifters that have been obsolete for 20 years, but somehow it feels like a win. Rare-ish and slightly sort after, and they will be mine to keep in a draw until I break one of my obsolete bikes.
I may have a set of those in the basement, attached to an early 1990s KHS. 🙂
All this effort to live like a homeless person. Welcome to camping.
I have to upgrade. I need an article about how to set up and use some kind of pooping station in an Aztek.
That seems like a Jason article.
This is no longer “Lets buy subscriptions to force David to live in an Aztek” and this not more akin to the Make-A-Wish push of “Rust-Brained Michigan Man suffering from a chronic case of Californication has one last chance to make his lifelong dream come true”
Lol, we’re all just David’s enablers.
Editorial question: can we refer to this product and/or adventure as the “Aztent”?
Yeah, they act like this is a real punishment or something. This is luxury compared to some of the situations Capt. Trenchfoot has been in.
You will be in the tent in the Aztek but where will the Aztek be parked? Random parks and rest areas around the LA area or in the Galpin lot? Is there a beach that permits overnight camping nearby?
Asked by the tough questions. The California coast has an entire citizen army of hyper vigilant camper and camping whistleblowers. He may have to head inland or move locations as often as a spy book hero.
Jim Rockford will let him park it next to his beachside trailer in Malibu.
And he will definitely “borrow” it to chase bad guys on occasion.
+1 for the Rockford reference.
Can an Aztek do a “J” turn with tent attached? Autopians want to know!
too bad you dont live in the rust belt anymore. it would have been quite funny when the tailgate broke off
Please make David live in this tent. It’s not mean. He’s going to have a great time in there. He wants this.
But think of the girlfriend! We’re enabling his shenanigans!
She should know what she’s in for!