The state of Michigan is paying drivers $400 per vehicle in an attempt to shrink an insurance fund that has ballooned out of control after residents paid into it for decades. I just got my check — which was based on how many vehicles I had insured in October of 2019 — and it turns out: I had eight. And now I’m rich. Naturally, like any shrewd businessman, I’m going to reinvest. Help me find my next junker.
“You should buy a house, David” they told me. “Buying all these junky cars is a bad financial decision,” they declared. But oh were they wrong. So, so wrong.
I will admit that, when I bought my rusted-out Jeep Grand Wagoneer, my non-running 1979 Jeep Cherokee Golden Eagle, my totaled 1991 Jeep Cherokee, and the rest of my fleet, I wasn’t doing it for any “intelligent” reason. I was doing it because these vehicles are awesome and I could literally see no reason not to buy them. I was blinded by obsession.
I later learned that owning lots of cars can be a burden; I’ve been stranded a few times, I’ve been overwhelmed every moment of every day for the past seven years, and my bank account has contained tumbleweeds all too often. Despite this, though, I’m thrilled to say that luckily I ended up hoarding cars that have gone up in value. People love old Jeeps! So my “problem” has actually been a decent financial decision, somehow, and that was made even clearer last week when I received this fat check in the mail:
I’m rich!
Thirty-two hundred smackers — do you know how many Postal Jeeps I could buy with that? Six! Do you know how many rusty Forward Control pickups I could get? At least two! And if we start talking about parts, things get even more nuts; I once bought a running Jeep 4.0-liter engine for $145. The check above — which I earned by simply hoarding Jeeps — is worth over 22 running Jeep engines — TWENTY TWO.
Anyway, clearly I’m thrilled that somehow my stupidity has paid off.
A bit of background on why I am now The Richest Man At The Junkyard. It all starts with a rule in Michigan that required motorists to pay into a big fund meant to cover folks injured in crashes. From the The Michigan Catastrophic Claims Association:
The Michigan Catastrophic Claims Association (MCCA) is a private unincorporated, nonprofit association created by the Michigan Legislature in 1978. From the time the Legislature created the MCCA until July 2, 2020, Michigan’s unique no-fault insurance law required the owners and registrants of motor vehicles registered in Michigan to buy unlimited lifetime coverage for medical expenses resulting from motor vehicle accidents.
It turns out, that fund has become bigger than necessary, so the MCCA decided that it’d be handing out refunds based on the number of cars each resident had insured on October 31, 2021, or roughly the time when I reached peak-hoarder. From the state of Michigan:
The MCCA’s analysis determined that approximately $3 billion of the surplus could be returned to policyholders while ensuring continuity of care for auto accident survivors. The refund plan submitted to DIFS Monday by the MCCA will return money to every Michigander with an auto insurance policy in force as of 11:59 p.m. on October 31, 2021…The surplus funds will be turned over by the MCCA to the insurance companies operating in Michigan by March 9, 2022, and the insurers will be responsible for issuing checks to eligible policyholders.
Needless to say, I’ve been surfing my local Facebook Marketplace listings for business opportunities in which to invest my newfound riches.
This Crosley right here is only $2,000. That’s so cheap I can’t lose:
And check out this 1948 Kaiser. The body and interior look good given that this car costs only $3,400:
Then there’s this Studebaker Lark for sale; it’s only $2,800! What a deal:
I have to admit, I’ve been jonesing for a Model T for some time now:
But I’m not dropping over 10 large on that. Instead, should I opt for a $7,000 Willys Whippet — the poor person’s Model T?:
Then of course there’s still that Corvair for sale for only $3,700 — the one we mentioned in one of our Shitbox Showdowns last week:
It’s pretty clear to me that buying cars in bulk is just smart business, and I need to continue doing it. I had planned to part ways with some of my fleet — and I’m sticking with that goal — but that just means there’s more room for new mechanical friends. Maybe I should buy that green two-door manual XJ…
Sell them all and then use the proceeds from that sale and the $3,200 check to buy yourself a nice mid-spec 4 cylinder camry, painted in beige, and with a dent in the corner of the rear bumper. Problem solved. Or not.
I think you need to invest in a GoPro, and some video editing hardware/software, so we can get some unadulterated David Tracy content. Think ZipTiesnBiasPlies but PG-13 rated. Someone I wouldn’t mind having my son watch. “See son, Dad’s neon collection isn’t really THAT bad”.
My vote is the Corvair. Unsafe at any driveway.
As a person who’s next impractical car is likely to be a Model T, do it!
What about buying a $3000 camper? Then you could buy some abandoned property and set up shop there. Think of all the rent money that could then be spent on more garbage!
D. Tracy – Unsafe at any bank account balance. Nudge-nudge-wink-wink. Buy the Corvair, it would be an awesome content-creating machine
Could I interest you in an absolutely perfect(ish) 1987 Mercedes 300sdl? It’s the limousine model and it’s basically emp proof, which I used to only say as a joke. I’ll drive it to you.
*The adjective perfect is based on my understanding of YOUR understanding of the word based on years of reading about the catastrophically bad decisions that resulted in your receiving this check….call me
How perfect is it?
It’s a solid driver with a great interior, non functioning climate control due to a blower motor resistor, and a few paint defects. I love it, but need to thin the herd.
You’ll want to save at least half of that to fix your Valiant Ute in Australia. The rules to get a rust bucket like the Ute registered in Australia appear to be much stricter than the US. Converting US$ 1,600 to South Pacific pesos should give you roughly AU$ 2,300.
https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/272837541722109/
Found your next purchase.
1965 Mustang project car ohh yah! $3200
Linky: https://classiccars.com/listings/view/1588751/1965-ford-mustang-for-sale-in-greenfield-indiana-46140
Damn, that actually doesn’t look that bad. No pics of the underside though, so maybe tit is exceptionally crusty down under
The Corvair is probably the rational choice, in that you’d lose the least money if you bought and sold it, but the ride quality on those Kaisers was excellent, and the Crosley could be parked in your laundry room if the township decided to come after you for the illegal junkyard thing again. Tough choice
Oh, the Crosley, the Crosley! It’s so cute. It looks like a child’s pedal powered car! Downside is, parts are probably hard to find and expensive.
More funds for Project FC/DC
Model T. Yes please. Parts are cheap and easy to find. They are simple and fun. They are not fast or safe in traffic but not terribly different from your other projects in that regard. This was my touring car before I sold it last year.
https://youtu.be/ElRkEfPmjmw
Wow…Here we thought you were making progress with all the car therapy and counseling sessions, selling Jeeps and rust buckets left and right, and as soon as a windfall comes, you fall right off the wagon. When is it time for a reader intervention?? (I liked the Corsair…I prefer to be part of the problem, though, not the solution).
David I have a terrible idea that fits you like a glove. Buy my non-running rust-free 01 Land Rover Discovery. It is like your Jeeps but more comfortable and less reliable. The perfect combination for a man like you. I own it for next to nothing (close to Gambler 500 money) and the only thing keeping it from running is my lack of time due to other projects (my other Land Rover, a home that was built in 1929, and My Dog) In all seriousness PM me if you are interested.
Do it! Join the Disco life!
Looking at what might be a logical extension , how about a rusty clapped out Hornet Sportabout…..?
What happened to the idea of buying a new Wrangler because you designed part of it?
Housing might not be a bad idea, although now rates are rising. Is DT sure he will never get asked to leave this rental? Finding another landlord that is so accommodating of the fleet is not going to be easy. DT will have to be like Mercedes at Jalopnik who seems to have vehicles stashed all over town.
Read the comments, let’s meet in the middle, half to the blue fc for ev conversion bits, half to fixing the rest of the fleet.
No new projects till you come back from OZ!
This infusion of liquid capital should be poured directly into electrifying Ol’ Blue. No question. That’s where it needs to go. Anyone who suggests otherwise doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
$3200… pay off your insurance for a year
Perhaps use it to invest in the battery pack for your FC? Unless you already have that sourced?
Wait…so you have been insuring all these cars, and paying too much into the fund? Therefore, you get money _back_ that you _overpaid_, without the benefit of any interest you could have made in a bank account. This is hardly a windfall. This is like a tax return…somebody keeps your money for a while, uses it, gains interest, and then gives it back to you later. It’s like loaning $100 to a guy who uses it to go gambling, maybe makes $200, then gives you the $100 back without you seeing a “piece of the action.”
No my friend, this is not a windfall.
That being said, if you did the responsible thing and put this in some investment or even some interest-bearing account, perhaps even use it to fix up and thin the current fleet so you can save insurance money, even pay off a few bills, I think the readers would be disappointed.
We don’t read your column because you make good decisions. We read it like we watch a train wreck in slow motion.
So that being said…what is the absolute _worst_ choice you can make? What would be the car you could buy that would give you oodles of mechanical stories for articles, yet still never be reliable or predictable? Aha! Old British 2-seaters! Maybe find yourself the one that has ties to Detroit…for example, the Triumph TR-8, which used a Rover V-8 based on a GM Buick powerplant. And then you can start writing articles about electrical troubleshooting!
“Why do the British like warm beer? Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.”
Now I’m curious. How is the Rover V8 related to the Buick 3800 motor?
Just looked it up for you…it was the Buick 215, which preceded and influenced the Buick 3800 as well as the Rover.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rover_V8_engine
Actually, it’s probably more David Tracy to get an old rusty TR-7 that someone has dropped a Buick 3800 in and never finished the project. 😉
Corvair for the win, obviously.
Dude, show some love to the cars that helped you get that. Fix up some and sell them to folks just as enthusiastic about them as you are. You’ll need funds for the upcoming EV conversion.
Ah the classic car guy conundrum- I have extra money so should I put it into one of my (numerous) existing project cars or buy another project car?
Of course, the obvious answer is buy another project car. You can use the little bits of extra money you come across from time-to-time to buy parts for your projects, but we’re talking thousands all at one time here.
Being from Cincinnati I have always had a soft sport for Crosley’s so I say go with that 1950 Crosley CD Sedan. While a Crosley Farm-O-Road would be more your style they are a lot harder to come across.