The cupholder is a key invention that keeps our economies moving. We don’t have time to sit down for meals anymore. We need to heft great chunks of industrially produced meat into our gaping maws as we tear down the highway at 70 mph. While we’re doing that, it’s nice to have somewhere to put a drink where it won’t tip over.
Now, most cups are round, and so it makes sense that the cupholders themselves would be round in turn. Indeed, that’s the case in the vast majority of cars. A round cupholder will happily accept travel mugs, fast food cups, bottles, and cans with no problem whatsoever.
And yet, one place in the world cries out for a square cupholder instead. It’s my hometown of Adelaide, Australia, and it all comes down to one unique quirk in local beverage habits.
Land of Milk And Coffees
Australia loves coffee. We take a great deal of pride in its quality and preparation. But it’s just one state that is obsessed with iced coffee, and that’s South Australia. The beverage known as Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee is a local legend. The cartons of flavored milk are a staple for the local tradies, and they’re stocked in every bakery, chip shop, and servo across the land.
Indeed, local folklore has it that South Australia was the only market in the world where a milk beverage outsold Coca-Cola. It’s said that FUIC, as it’s sometimes known, was outselling Coke by 3:1 in 2008, while figures of a 2:1 advantage were bandied around in 2017.
I’ve thrown those numbers into boring conversations at weddings more than most, perhaps out of a sense of pride in my hometown. Today, I don’t think they’re necessarily that grounded in reality, as nobody seems to have the raw numbers to confirm the fact. The reality is Coca-Cola is sold over the bar at every pub and restaurant, and Farmer’s Union simply isn’t. To say nothing of the fact that soft drinks take up far greater shelf space in virtually every servo [Short for service station. It’s an Australian thing. –PV] and supermarket in the city.
I suspect that Farmer’s Union managed to outsell Coke in one specific category of drink-it-now beverages in a given period, and that’s where the popular line came from. Regardless of the precise figures, Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee is insanely popular. Australians drink over 27 million liters of the stuff each year, and it’s popularity has begun to spread beyond its heartland in SA.
Square Peg In A Round Hole
There’s just one problem. As a milk product, Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee is sold in rectangular cartons, not round bottles. The iconic 600 mL carton (20.2 fluid ounces) is beloved by the locals.
This is a confounding problem for milk-thirsty motorists. The chunky cartons simply don’t fit in typical round cupholders.
Most cupholders are designed to hold the common “12 oz” beverage can of roughly 2.6 inches in diameter. These days, many will also accept a larger round vessel with the aid of spring-loaded tabs for additional support.
Cartons of Iced Coffee are simply too large to fit in any but the biggest round cupholders. They measure 2.87 inches on a side, which doesn’t sound that much larger than a regular can of Coke. However, because they’re square, their largest dimension is actually the diagonal. Using Pythagoras’s theorem, we can actually calculate this length.
You’d need a round cupholder over 4.1 inches in diameter to fit a carton of Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee, or any of the brand’s other delicious flavored milks. Even then, you’d suffer from a poor fit, particularly if you had to align the carton to avoid any plastic support tabs in the device.
Some Are Lucky
The proper solution is a square cupholder. Farmer’s Union realized this years ago, teaming up with a South Australian Audi dealership to work on this very concept. The result was a single prototype, and a hilarious April Fool’s Day ad. Volkswagen could learn a thing or two from this.
https://www.facebook.com/AudiAustralia/videos/1086265901485554/
Despite being a joke, the ad struck a deep chord with the local population. In a city with just 1 million residents, the ad racked up 365,000 views, and had fans laughing and crying that it wasn’t a real thing.
Nevertheless, some cars over the years have come with square cupholders. The most notable is perhaps the Mitsubishi 380. It was the company’s last gasp at developing a car to keep its Australian manufacturing arm alive, and would you know it? It was designed by Mitsubishi Australia and built in Adelaide! As was the Magna before it.
The Holden Cruze is also known for having a square cubby for drinks. It’s often said that this was a result of the Adelaide influence, given that it was manufactured in Holden’s Elizabeth plant for several years before its demise. However, the J300 Cruze was very much a global design so it’s difficult to say whether there was a real engineering decision to ensure Farmer’s Union compatibility for the model.
Toyota, too, offers a model that suits the Farmer’s Union drinker perfectly. The second-generation Toyota Yaris has pop-out cupholders on either side of the dash. The deep bins hold a can rather nicely, but they’ll also snugly accept a carton of Iced Coffee without complaint.
Aftermarket Solutions
Despite some outliers, most cars still come with round cupholders. Thankfully, Farmer’s Union was able to come up with a solution of its own in this regard. It developed an adapter to fit a square carton in a round hole.
https://www.facebook.com/farmersunion/photos/pb.100064390015598.-2207520000/10155158833337345/?type=3
The company releases these “car caddies” as promotional items now and then. They have a round base that slots into a regular cupholder, and a square tub to hold the carton.
They’re not a perfect solution, as the resulting contraption ends up being quite top-heavy. You wouldn’t want to test one under heavy braking, particularly if you’ve left the spout of your carton open for easy sipping.
The company also came up with an alternative solution that was altogether more straightforward. They started selling the milky fluid in bottles in 500 mL and 750 mL sizes. They were specifically touted as “Cup Holder Compatible” for drivers on the road.
However, these bottles aren’t always available. Plus, they don’t have the same appeal as the stock standard carton. Just as Coca-Cola is better out of a glass bottle, Farmer’s Union is best savored from a paper carton.
Thus, the dedicated Farmer’s Union drinker is best served by purchasing an automobile that can accept a square carton from the factory. Alternatively, handy individuals could consider 3D-printing their own square cupholder inserts; Jason and I have talked about doing as much ourselves.
As it stands, though, it seems the round cupholder will remain supreme. It’s unlikely that flavored milk drinks will ever take over the world. Energy drinks and traditional soft drinks have superior market share in almost every market the world over. They’re also less perishable and cheaper to transport to boot.
Today, Farmer’s Union remains a local favorite, rather than a global one. My country no longer has much sway in the automotive design world, either. Where once we had multiple car factories in Adelaide, now we have none. We no longer have the political means to shape cup holders to our will.
Aussie cows will keep pumping out the good stuff, and Farmer’s Union will keep stirring in the beans, that much is true. We’ll just have to make to with driving one-handed as we tilt the famous white carton to our lips. Stay milky out there, friends. Stay milky.
Image credits: Lewin Day, Farmer’s Union, eBay
How much milk is in that stuff that it is considered a Dairy product rather than a coffee product?
For whatever reason, I find milk in coffee to be disgusting. At the same time, I am sitting here drinking room temp black coffee. Something may be off in my brain.
They’re a dairy, so…
The 1992 interior facelift of the Chevy Beretta/Corsica had a single square cupholder in the center console for the driver. It was a clever combination of the ashtray and a cupholder; two tabs stuck up and if you pushed one tab rearward, a lit slid back and exposed the ashtray. If you slid the other tab back, it pushed the astray (and the cover, if it was closed) back, exposing a square compartment that served as a cupholder. The passenger got a pull-out pair of cupholders that extended from the trim panel in the middle of the dash pad in front of the passenger seat.
Not sure if the square cutout was big enough for a paper milk carton, but it’s one of the few square cupholders I’ve ever encountered.
I was essentially thinking of 3D printing an adaptor, but seems FU beat me to the obvious (albeit ad-hoc) solution. If like to think you could optimise the adaptor to suit your own vehicle cupholders better though, minimising the spill risk.
But the idea you and Torch have to remove existing round cupholders and 3D print replacements would be better – but much more work matching tolerances and materials, I expect. Still, plenty of smart folk hereabouts that can help, I’m sure ????
I have owned at least 9 cars/trucks that never had cup holders. Again I cannot remember when they became standard issue. Enjoy your carton of coffee.
I would like to try this beverage.
It’s a pearler I tell you what
i can’t find FUIC for sale even on Amazon. Redbubble has the stickers, but I was looking to actually try the product. I don’t do social media, so maybe I’m missing a chance to purchase it through fb or something.
The mention of flavored milk reminded me of the seasonal strawberry milk we used to get in Nagasaki. Came in glass bottles with this paper ‘cap’ jammed down the neck as a top that you had to stab with a miniature ice pick thing to remove. The first bottle each year was a little ceremony/celebration 🙂
Yeah – because it’s fresh milk, you can’t really send it overseas easily. You’d have to do refridgerated air shipments and sell it within a few days
Back in the 90’s there was a coffee drink called “Jamaican Gold” that came in a 12 0z can. Way better than what Starbucks charged 6 bucks for.
Now I really want to try one of these cartons. Lewin, please advise of any American availability.
I’d like to try it as well
The milk might be too good after a trip across the Pacific. But you can get a t-shirt!
https://www.redbubble.com/shop/farmers+union+iced+coffee
Yeah, I got punked for a second by Redbubble: “ Only a buck seventy-six!! How can they se…aw, damn. Just a sticker.” 🙁
My parents first Dodge Grand Caravan had square cup holders in the back row! It would have been perfect.
Um, Why don’t you just pour the coffee into a Thermal mug that fits in the cupholder? It’s got the perfect pouring spout on it..
Some things just taste better when you drink them out of certain containers. For example, chocolate milk is way better out of a paper carton than a plastic bottle. And I can’t stand cola out of a plastic or glass bottle, I’ll take fountain any day.
Pittsburgh’s Turners Premium Iced Tea says g’day. . .
I was just checking to see if anyone else mentioned this.
Turner’s offers bottles too.. and even little quart sized jugs, which I think are adorable.
But it does taste best from the carton.
Just clap your hands
This is where it’s at.
With two turntables and a microphone, one might be able to influence Audi to actually make that square cup holder
52 grams of sugar. Jesus.
No wonder you call your corner stores “dairies” if you’re chugging this down at a 3:1 rate compared to coca cola.
You might want to look at a nutrition label for Coca Cola, because it has *more* sugar in it than FUIC…
I’m not defending FUIC because it is essentially a dessert, but the 52g is total sugar (ie, including lactose) and it only has a mere 23g of added sugar.
Australia is hardly the only place where car-drinks come in cartons – the Toyota Probox/Succeed, the staple of the Japanese commercial wagon market, has a one-litre carton sized drink holder with flip-down insert for round drinks (as well as a lunch tray!) as specific selling points:
https://webcg.ismcdn.jp/mwimgs/3/5/-/img_3559caa9efd79b5cf7413311d8f636cb339820.jpg
Actually, y’all should write about the Probox/Succeed – it’s a really fascinating Japanese take on ‘car-like commercial vehicle’ that seems to get minimal attention elsewhere!
But what vehicles have a holder suitable for a Canadian 1.33L bag of milk with a swirly straw out the hole at the top corner?
All of them? Bags squish! I just, uh, don’t trust that in a corner.
No, it really needs to be a thin bin about 20cm deep. Although, to be most satisfying, you should be able to give it a hearty thwack on the bottom, make sure that bag isn’t going anywhere.
My wife’s 2012 Forester has square cupholders. Never tried to fit a chocolate milk carton in them. Could end up being my big weekend plan now.
This reminds me of a movie
What do you do when there’s no Coca-Cola??
Reminds me of The Graduate..”Plastics are the future.”
Seems to have worked out well. /s
Our CJ Lancer hatch has somewhat hybrid shaped cup holders down in the door pockets, perfectly takes a 600mL carton.
Is this where your screen name comes from?
In part, yes. I’m a huge iced coffee addict and it’s a decent 50/50 split of bottles and cartons, but our flavoured milk options go so far beyond iced coffee and Oak also offers up their drinks in a carton.
Citroens have door pockets that will hold an entire bottle of wine.
In both doors of course, in case your mistress gets thirsty.
I had an ancient Volvo 144S in which we discovered that the space between the front seats was perfectly sized for a box of wine – so with the spigot facing the rear and the boyfriend driving, those of us in the back seat could have a grand old time while heading to dinner.
My Focus has wine bottle-size ones on both doors! I assume Ford was thinking the giant bottles of water that Americans feel compelled to lug around with them everywhere b/c of the well-known danger of our water supply, but still…
Supersize Me!
Well know dangers? What am I missing?
Most municipal water is better and more tightly regulated than the stuff sold in bottles, and they are required to publish a public report with all test results every year. Try getting a content report from a commercial seller!
Besides, many commercial bottled waters are actually taken straight from a municipal source anyway. They literally just bottle some city’s water, and then sell it as an alternative to city water at 100x markup.
/Just ignore that whole Detroit/lead thing…
Yup, every public water system in the US does regular testing that is reported to the EPA. That’s how the Flint problem came to light.
It’s the chlorine, which kills the nasties far more effectively.
And it’s only a “known” problem for 10 years now.
Makes me wonder how many other Detroits we have nation wide.
Not a fun thing to ponder.
The 981 Cayman has little covered cubbies behind each seat and beside the engine cover… each perfectly holds 2 bottles of wine. There must have been a Frenchist on the interior design team.
I hate to burst everyone’s wine theories, but Europe has some impressively gigantic plastic water bottles that work perfectly in all of these door cubbies and other “bottle holders.” I’m in awe of the size of those lads. While I’m not a big fan of the plastic waste, I am a huge fan of one big ol’ adequately-sized sprudelwasser bottle to rule them all.
After seeing all the places the French have found to shove wine on a sailboat, I poopoo your theory. But we all love a Mat Watson giant water bottle test.
I mean, the cubbies probably weren’t even meant to hold liquids, but I’m gonna keep shoving Martha’s Chard in ’em anyway.
The ’02 Altima I had would fit a bottle of gin and a bottle of tonic in its gargantuan center-console cupholders. I’m assuming it was made this way because having an Altima will drive you to drink. (Just don’t do it at the same time.)
Silly Aussies – Always trying to put square cartons in round holes…
They deserve the Square Hole this much is clear
Square drinks, drop bears, and huntsman spiders. Good thing Australia is an island. The rest of the world couldn’t handle those levels of madness.
And UTEs, don’t forget UTEs.
Ok… maybe just a little madness.
Dearborn Engineer: “I call it – Ranchero!”
Warren Engineer: “I call it – El Camino!”
Engineers in Geelong and Port Elizabeth: “It’s a ute.”
The two utes, your honor.
If the ute fits, you must acquit.
“These two Yoooottthhheeesss.”
Don’t forget the hoop snakes and yowies.
You could always just take a big first swig, significantly lowering the level of fluid within, then crush those square sides down until the carton will cram into a round hole. I find brute force is often the solution.
If it jams, force it.
If it breaks, we needed a new one anyway.
Brute force AND ignorance. That’s how things get done.
And how the white man brought enlightenment and civilization to America.
Shout out to Turner’s Iced Tea, also regularly sold in the 1 pint paper cartons. It’s a Pittsburgh thing.
The answer is a squircle. Best of both worlds.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squircle
Huh. Who knew the Lexus TX was designed for the Southern Australian market?
That Audi ad nearly had me walking out to the garage. Before I read further I was like “OK I know that interior and my cupholders are NOT square…wait…are they?”
There is something fundamentally wrong in a world where people don’t have time to even sit down for meals. Luckily this isn’t true in my life, and I’ll never going to live a life where there isn’t time to sit down for a meal, no matter if it means I’m going to miss opportunities to earn more money (which I don’t have time to enjoy if living in such a world).
That’s pretty much my one rule: no meals in the car. Drinking in the car, fine. But eating? That’s break time. Get out. Stretch your legs. Wake up a bit. Like, leave the car, find something interesting to cram in your pie-hole and make sure you’re taking good care of yourself.
Also, eating in the gottdanged car is how you get ants.
I’m happy for you! I aspire to a relaxed life