September is approaching, meaning I’ll be embarking on one of the most ill-advised wrenching trips…possibly ever. That’s because a few months ago I spontaneously bought a 1969 Chrysler Valiant Wayfarer “ute”located in the middle of nowhere, seven hours inland from Sydney, Australia. My plan is to fly to Australia from Detroit and road-trip the $900 machine to the World’s largest Ute show before exploring more of the country. But first I have to fix the crusty ute, and to aid me on that front — I’m proud to announce — I now own a parts car!
I think I’ve peaked, folks. I really do. I never thought I’d own a single car in Australia — to own TWO (okay, let’s be real, 1.5) is just epic.
I’ve got to give the credit to Laurence, the reader from the Dubbo area of Australia (basically in the middle of Nowhere, New South Whales) [Editor’s Note: I was going to fix this to “Wales” but this is just too funny a typo, so it stays. — JT] who volunteered to buy the first ute on my behalf a few months back after he and I got to talking over Instagram about the 1965 Valiant I bought in upstate New York last fall. Turns out, Valiants are quite popular in Australia; In fact, one of Laurence’s buddies had a spare “VF”-generation Chrysler Valiant Ute body sitting around, and after looking at my rustbucket, Laurence figured it might actually make for a good donor, so he bought it and hauled it back home, where my 1969 sits.
Laurence says the new parts vehicle might actually become the primary project car given its relatively rust-free body. Look at this thing from the passenger’s side; the panels look good!:
And hell, there’s even a flame painted around the gas cap:
Okay okay, if you look at the ute from other angles, things do look a little more, um, dire:
But don’t let those missing panels fool you; this is a solid chassis. Just look at that front unibody rail — unlike the one on my other Valiant Ute, this thing is straight as an arrow! And that’s a big deal, given that I have to get my machine through Australia’s inspection.
[Editor’s Note: I just want everyone to look at the picture up there and really let it sink in that that is what David thinks is his key to passing a government inspection. He looked at that and thought “oh good, now I don’t have to worry about paid government officials not letting me take a shitbox on Australian roads.” Fucking hell. – JT]
Laurence and I had a little video chat the other day to go over our newest acquisition.
As you can see in the image above, that transmission tunnel has been thoroughly “massaged” to fit some other powertrain. I can’t say I’m a huge fan of this handiwork.
Laurence also managed to snag a spare Hemi Six engine — this one the smallest 215 cubic-inch, though he’s got a line on a 245. That’s the Australia-only straight-six based on a prototype Chrysler design that never came to the U.S. The engine replaced the venerable Slant Six starting in 1970-and-up Australian Chryslers; I badly want to experience this mysterious engine’s prodigious reliability and torque, so I’ll be swapping one into my ute:
For just a few hundred bucks, Laurance got a whole other Valiant ute, plus that engine and a three-speed manual transmission. The man’s ability to acquire Chrysler Valiant parts is unmatched.
You can see in the screenshot above the pedal box that Laurence snagged. I plan to convert my Valiant — currently a slant-six automatic — to a column-shift manual Hemi Six. Is this complicating things a bit given the current state of my Valiant? Absolutely. But as cool as the “ute” side of things is, I’ve already experienced the joy of the Slant Six, since it was offered here in the U.S. There’s no way I’m flying all the way to Australia to drive around a car with the same powertrain I can get stateside when there’s a mysterious inline-six that will plop right in.
Sadly, the column in this new parts vehicle has the shift tabs all broken off, though the good news is that Laurence has spare manual steering columns. Hopefully one of the works and doesn’t jam up too often as these columns tend to do.
The column is obviously not optimal, but on the plus side: Look at these rock-solid floors!:
Even the bed floor only has a couple of holes in it, meaning the under-bed/behind-bench storage — which is essentially the second-row footwell of the Plymouth Valiant wagons offered in the U.S. (this is the platform on which the Australian Valiant utes were based) — will only become a little wet if it rains.
[Editor’s Note: David, this is an automotive website, not an archaeology website, which you seem to be confused about, based on these pictures. Are those potsherds in there? –JT]
Laurence also has a spare front subframe/K-member, which is important part needed to swap the Slant Six for the Hemi Six.
Speaking of the Hemi Six, here’s a closer look at the 215 Laurence snagged for cheap:
Here are a few more images of my parts vehicle. The dash could definitely be a bit more complete:
Oh, here’s a little frame-mounted bracket that holds the Z-bar for the clutch linkage:
I’ve got to be honest with you: I have no idea how I’m going to pull this off. I’ve got obligations in late August and early October, meaning I’ve only got September to fix this ute, get it through inspection, and road trip it. That just doesn’t sound like enough time. I may have to cancel my August obligation and make it up to my friend (We were set to go to an Alan Jackson concert in Lincoln; maybe we can go to one in Pittsburg in October instead? I’ll talk to him. I really hate canceling plans on people).
Perhaps as concerning is the 14 hour time difference between the U.S.’s east coast and Australia’s. Back when I worked at Jalopnik, I used to visit my brother in Hong Kong quite frequently. Writing from there was tricky due to the 12 hour time difference. Now that I’m The Autopian’s Editor-In-Chief, I edit almost every article that goes up here; Editing from 10 PM to 5 AM, all while I’m wrenching on a genuine shitbox doesn’t seem feasible. This just means I’ll have to set some processes in place to make sure this place still runs smoothly for those five weeks I’m in the bush.
There will be plenty of wrenching content coming from me, and I’ll still edit the big stuff, but daily small blogs: That’s all Jason. (So you can all expect lots of wacky stuff during that period, as Torch Unleashed is quite something).
[Editor’s Note: Oh, good. Thanks for the heads up. — JT]
Anyway, clearly this whole operation hasn’t really been completely thought through (my motto of “Buy First, Think Later” strikes yet again).
But I’ll figure it out. One way or another I’m going to keep this site humming while wrenching on — and hopefully cruising around Australia in — a Hemi Six-powered Chrysler Valiant Ute. Should a 30 year-old like me maybe be focusing on other things like dating and family-creation and homeownership and other responsible things? I don’t know; I’ve been told this. All I can tell you is that I’m currently blinded by the glory of that blue Hemi Six sitting in the bed of my parts Valiant. I can’t wait to fire that thing up.
Peak Tracy is a car on every continent. You need a rusty Mitsubishi Jeep somewhere in Asia.
The only thing saving his brother from having to deal with a DT car in Hong Kong is how expensive it is to park them.
Hee needs to buy the Mazda suitcase car. Problem solved!
Honestly, I thought you said Austria, figured you bought a Caravan parts van!
Hey there was the soldier during WWII who apparently sent an entire Jeep home part by part.
Perfect! Combine all that “stuff” together and you’ll really have…uh, you’ll really…
Well, I guess you’ll have 1 shitty car and a bunch of extra stuff. How will we tell the difference in the “before” and “after” pics?
In the name of all that is holy, get a tetanus booster before you touch either one of these vehicles.
Nah he’s immune by now.
Pretty sure DT eats rust for breakfast.
2 things for you to consider:
1.) Vehicles will not pass inspection in Australia if they have any rust that could compromise structural integrity (even slightly.)
2.) Wear sunscreen every day, with a decent hat. The Australian Sun is vicious, and will definitely damage your skin.
There is no way this will ever get by the RTA (or RMS or whatever they call themselves now) in NSW. Not in the time frame and budget DT has. Australia is not the US when it comes to that, that’s for sure.
It’ll be a colossal waste of time and effort. You’re right – they won’t register this.
Needs to shelve these damned doomed projects and focus on a single realistically obtainable objective.
So what are we talking here? Half a metric detre? Three quarters?
The greatest thing about the internet was allowing weird people with niche interests to connect to each other.
The worst thing about the internet was allowing disturbed individuals with potentially hazardous interests to connect with each other.
I am unsure which this is.
A trip to Australia? Watch out for those drop bears. So dangerous.
So your definition of a “rock-solid floor” is what looks like a pile of dirt.
Never change, David.
Floor where you can see rocks?
The rocks you can see below the floor certainly look solid.
Shouldn’t a parts car have parts? You know David, it’s not too late to consider therapy.
I think my favorite part of this site is the editor’s notes.
I saw “parts car in Australia” and thought for sure it would be the last of the V8 Interceptors
Parts car or parts of cars or car in parts?
I am anxious for you – reading the article, shaking my head, thinking “no, no, no”.
You’re going to get spider-bit by a snake with Australian tetanus.
If you pass inspection, it won’t be because the vehicle is street-safe. It will be because the inspector will pity your…your what?…Idiocy? Naivete? Hubris? Balls?
I think we need to come up with a Tracy number to determine how a person compares to you David.
Like the Tracy number (Tr) could be the number of vehicles you own (n) multiplied by the ratio of inoperable vehicles (j) to operable ones (k) multiplied by the number of frames that have been reinforced due to rust (r) and the number of countries you have vehicles in (c)
Tr = n * (j/k) * r * c
You need some multiplier on the equation to factor in how many of the cars in question are Jeeps.
I’m not a math wiz but on DTs next giveaway how about the weight difference between 1 of Dave’s current rust buckets vs original pre-purchase weight new?
Get in touch with the folks behind Mighty Car Mods. They might be willing to assist, or direct you to who could. They’ve put some off-beat stuff through the NSW “rego” (I think that’s how they refer to it) before. And they have lots of experience fixing up shitboxes. Might make for some cross promotion, too.
I’m guessing they will just laugh at him. Probably where that guy found most of this stuff on their recycling pile
DT’s whole project car: in the bin.
Most of the cars they work on are not regoed, thus why things like the 2K turbo project it was all done in car parks.
and why the BRZ is doomed.
or they rego them first then modify (thus the whole Mira doner “shell”)
other than the 240Z i don;t think they ahve really had one of the modified ones regoed.
LUCKY! ( In my best Napoleon Dynamite voice )
Australia is my dream! I have a few mates down there that want me to come down to paint their cars ( cheaper for me to fly in, ship materials and do it on site then locally for them). But all the current restrictions on them have held us back. Can’t wait to see and hear all about this! BLOODY OATH!
Yeah good luck with that. Australia has like a lot of deadly creatures. I hear 9 out of 10 tourists die before they even get their luggage at the airport luggage carousel. True fact Australia’s #1 export crap from luggage of dead tourists.
So David, it seems you bought a parts car that is largely devoid of parts. It is good you managed to get some other parts to complement it.
I am curious if you have a secret goal of owning a broken car on every continent?
Torch Unleashed sounds NSFW. David please don’t die somewhere on the road to Nowhere. Even for someone who has peaked, 5 weeks is not enough time to swap all that stuff and have a running/driving vehicle.
Hey forget where’s Waldo this Australian trip where’s Tracy
In b4 David is eaten by dingos.
A dingo ate my Davey!
Overseas parts cars are definitely the way to go. In 2008 I bought a rather deteriorated KV Mini 1 for parts, sight-unseen, from the Bubblecar Museum in the UK. Inasmuch as this is a voiture sans permis that weighs about 400 pounds, the cheapest way to get it to Seattle was, somewhat surprisingly, air freight. So, have I ever flown internationally? No. Have I ever paid to have an entire parts car flown internationally? Yes.
That is the right answer
With apologies to Austin Powers, DT is the new “International Man of Rustery” haha.
Good luck and I look forward to reading more about the project. I’ll say a few Hail Marys that it goes easier than the debacle with the cab-over Jeep
After watching MightyCarMods … do you realistically expect the end product of your labors to pass any inspection in Australia?
They even went on a little road trip out to Dubbo recently:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rivLpmOVZGw
I shake my head dolefully
A bit concerning that you have to label which is the parts car and which is the umm car ???