I Wasn’t Sure If I Wanted To Write About This Viral Video Of A Flying Nuclear Fusion Powered Hotel But It’s Just Too Stupid To Ignore

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I’ll admit that even though my line of work is creating words and images and occasionally videos to place on the internet in the hopes that other humans will choose to read those words, look at those images, or watch those videos (really, those are just a combination of spoken words and a bunch of images every second), I still can’t always understand just why some things get all crazy popular while other things don’t. Today I happened to come across one of these sorts of things, an extremely well-executed but baffling video about a fictional nuclear fusion-powered “sky hotel.” Why have so many outlets written about this thing that very much does not, and, likely can not, at least in the nearish future, exist? Why am I writing about it? What the hell is going on?

I better show you the video in question, so you know what I’m going on about:

The video, done by Hashem Al-Ghaili, was based on this illustrated concept for a flying hotel:

Flyinghotel Concept

It’s like something a kid might draw. A very talented, imaginative kid, but still. And I don’t want that taken as a slight, as there’s always a place for this sort of thing, but the fairly straight coverage this is getting, with headlines like:

Inside giant flying luxury hotel that can stay in the air for years

… is just silly.

Essentially, this is just the modern version of those Popular Mechanics or Popular Science or Science and Mechanics and probably Popular Popular covers that would show wild, futuristic techno-fantasies, sometimes even of essentially the same sort of colossal, atomic-powered aircraft:

Popscicovers

 

Really, we’ve been here before. Many times, even. Gigantic aircraft, flying hotels, atomic/nuclear-powered aircraft, this is well-trod ground. Hell, back in 1945, Martin Aircraft proposed a flying hotel based on their Martin Mars cargo aircraft:

Martinhotel

So why did this recent animation capture so much attention now?

I mean, it’s not even remotely plausible: the crucial technology that’s mentioned to run all of the electric engines that keep this massive Love Boat in the sky rely on nuclear fusion, which, while a lot of interesting progress has been made recently, has yet to reliably demonstrate it can produce more energy than is required to sustain the fusion reaction. It just doesn’t exist yet.

I’m not saying this thing isn’t fun, but it’s basically just a very well-executed fantasy drawing, no different than those old magazine covers, just someone taking a “wouldn’t it be cool if” train of thought and making it visual. Clearly, there’s some sort of latent desire for a large flying hotel type vehicle, at least among some segment of the population. Back in 2006, the concept was for a massive lighter-than-air dirigible-type aircraft to do the job:

Blimphotel

And there were other blimp/airship flying hotel concepts. some with dramatically unexpected shapes, like Seymour Powell’s AirCruise concept:

Sure, it looks different, but it’s basically the same rich-dude masturbatory sky-vacation shit: float in the air in incredible luxury, look out at clouds in post-coital bliss, then eat lots of shrimp or something. And that one is from 2010.

That concept was a bit more plausible at least because it didn’t rely on still sci-fi technologies like sustainable, compact nuclear fusion reactors. And, even if we just somehow accept that the technology is possible to make something like this work (hopefully, they’ll make it so the landing gear actually retracts, which the video does not show) there’s still so many logistical issues: how is maintenance to be done while in flight? What about resupplying water and food and all the merchandise that will be sold in the flying Sunglass Huts and Gucci stores and Hot Topics? Can passengers fly to it and board while it’s in the air? Is there a way to evacuate in an emergency? The video suggests this is the case, but, come on – pilots are going to be cool with maneuvers like this?

Docked747

Just look at that up above there, with what looks to be Air Force One docked to the Sky Hotel. You’d have to be an absurdly good pilot to make this work, dealing with wake turbulence behind the massive hotel to just approach it, then positioning the 747 exactly above that elevator thing, which would also need to be able to support the weight of that 747 and deal with any motion that either plane may impart, being able to detach readily, before damaging either aircraft, there’s just so many issues here, so little room for error before distaster. Why?

If it crashes, what happens to the torus of star-hot plasma that powers the fusion reactor? Do we just let it burn a hole down to the core of the Earth and just put some orange cones around the rim?

I’m all for imagination and fun and absurd ideas – I think my life’s body of work should prove this – but there’s just something about this whole thing that rubs me the wrong way. Is it the lavish, absurd, needless decadent luxury of it all? The complete ignoring of physics and engineering? The dumb look? My own small-minded bitterness? Is it just me, being a dick?Skyhotel Diagram

I’m not sure, to be honest. Let’s ask Mercedes; she’s actually had flying lessons, after all.

Mercedes’ Take

When I watched the video I had to check and see if it wasn’t an April Fools joke that everyone had collectively missed. This thing is what, twenty times the size of a Boeing 747? Yet it appears to have just 26 wheels. That’s six fewer wheels than the recently destroyed Antonov An-225. Sure, each wheel appears to be the size of a semi truck, but I somehow doubt there’s enough wheel to support the weight of what’s supposed to be a flying cruise ship. And since saving weight isn’t a design goal, this thing would be comically heavy.

The animation also doesn’t seem to match up with the narration. If this is supposed to be suspended above the clouds and offering passengers breathtaking views of wildlife, it’s going to need some sort of VTOL capability, which isn’t shown. I mean, the animation shows it taking off like a plane in a short take off and landing (STOL) competition.

Instead, the animation shows the aircraft flying like a commercial airliner, but the thing is moving at such a slow speed. And unless its a VTOL or STOL-capable, I also have to think that the runway length necessary for this thing to take off has to be crazy. Maybe they’re going to use the absurdly-long runway that the plane in Fast & Furious 6 used.This is to say that this whole thing is all kinds of unrealistic and absurd. But I am amused at the visual of this thing flying everywhere with its landing gear down.

 

 

 

84 thoughts on “I Wasn’t Sure If I Wanted To Write About This Viral Video Of A Flying Nuclear Fusion Powered Hotel But It’s Just Too Stupid To Ignore

  1. Not to pile on the ridiculousness, but I have a feeling this monstrosity would be easier to operate in space (how you’d get it up there, who the hell knows).

    But then I think about that episode from For All Mankind with the space hotel disaster and realize one small piece of space junk puncturing that large glass enclosure, and everyone onboard dies.

    Bad PR.

  2. The impossibly stubby wingspan lol. It looks like a kids toy version of a jumbo jet. I’ve seen bricks with better aerodynamics… and they can probably stay in the air longer.

  3. Who needs high speed rail systems when you can have a fission powered sky whale to nowhere!

    It’s like it was drawn up by Lyle Lanley himself. The future is SO WEIRD

  4. There’s always the Helicarrier converted into cruise ship option… Once the SHIELD gets disbanded….

    Now seriously, the only way to have flying cruise ships is through some kind of blimp

    1. damned message board…

      rest of the message :
      and even with a blimp it’s far fetched, and the cruise customers will have to adapt to the fact that on a flying cruise, only the bare necessities are available due to weight constraint. ( so no go kart track, no wave swiming pool, no artificial rock climbing wall, no giant water slides, no… well most of the things cruise people take for granted )

  5. Ok, ok three things I need to get out there.

    1. “The government doesn’t control the sky. What if you lived in a balloon?” Someone saw that episode of The Simpsons and thought “Hmm. Ya know…”
    2. This is a great change of scenery for people who are bored with getting norovirus on cruise ships.
    3. This line needs to be recognized: “If it crashes, what happens to the torus of star-hot plasma that powers the fusion reactor? Do we just let it burn a hole down to the core of the Earth and just put some orange cones around the rim?”

  6. Ah, yes, I remember this. You get this in Chapter 3, after you meet Cid Highwind the second time. You can summon it on the overworld map and can use it to save and swap party members.

  7. This stupid thing has been littering my FB feed for days now and I’ve been doing everything possible to not give it the clicks it desires from me. Thank you for writing about it here and stating exactly the same arguments I have about it. It’s just as bad, if not maybe worse, than those shitty car “news” sites that show some shitty sketch of “the new 2025 Chevelle!” or whatever other stupid fucking boomer bait they can create for themselves. FUCK! Now I’m angry again.

  8. I scroll straight through any story that shows an artist’s concept of a future technology. Especially crap like this idea. Conceptual renderings are like bums, everybody has one.

    1. “Conceptual renderings are like bums, everybody has one.”

      Yes, but some of us try to remove the crap from our bums. This travesty doesn’t even try to follow the rules of aerodynamics, and refuses to note that the dome is not going to make it, and won’t impress people when they are looking up at the monotonous sky throughout the trip (while freezing their asses off and going blind in the bright sunlight).

      Has this artist ever flown in a jet plane?

  9. The creator does have access to some great stock footage and no lack of optimism. There’s something about this that reminds me of the Ant-20.

    Relatedly, I recently saw this video for a…vehicle that apparently combines the flexibility of trains with the efficiency of aircraft. There must be a whole world of bonkers technology-proposal videos out there that I haven’t mined.

  10. “it’s basically the same rich-dude masturbatory sky-vacation shit: float in the air in incredible luxury, look out at clouds in post-coital bliss, then eat lots of shrimp or something.”

    Those rich dudes have a far better chance at their *other* masturbatory vacation shit – a comped ticket to a low G pagen themed masked sex robot orgy and all you can eat shrimp buffet on the moon – than a ride in any of these flying mega douche palaces.

  11. They already did a documentary on having two planes connect in midair.

    Executive Decision with Kurt Russell. As a bonus, Steven Seagal dies in the first 20 minutes.

  12. Wow, just wow. No actual lifting surfaces like, say a wing has.
    Then there are the logistics.
    They apparently expect 5000 people too board this thing at onetime?
    or
    They expect to land to unload and load grooups of 100 at a time?
    Doesn’t that defeat the intent to stay aloft for long periods of time?
    How often does a large number (thousands) of people want to spend a long period of time inside a building together, let alone a flying one?
    So, so many simple questions about a stupid idea.

  13. Cruise ship in the sky sounds even stupider than a cruise ship on the ocean. I think the best use case for a big ass fusion reactor plane would be flying huge numbers of people across the world. I bet you could put 50,000 people in that thing for $200 bucks a pop. Pack them in and turn around and do it again. Could decimate the conventional long haul airline industry.

  14. I thought the normal plane was supposed to be a hood ornament/figurehead and emergency lifeplane because why wouldn’t the elevator shaft be rigid and capable of supporting a 747?

    I guess those are electric turbines that the fusion plant powers or maybe hydraulic, why not, it looks old school.

    And that metal and glass structure that can take the place of a critical part of the airframe on a plane the size of a skyscraper is simply amazing.

    This whole thing has weird Heroic Age sci-fi energy.

    1. It’s possible to design a jet engine that uses a nuclear reactor to heat up incoming air in the same way we currently burn jet fuel to heat it up. Search for “Aircraft Nuclear Propulsion program”.
      It is at least technically possible to build one with current technology, although making the whole system light enough to used on an aircraft is a different matter.

      (Which reminds me of a fun idea from Charlie Stross’ story ‘Missile Gap’: Nuclear powered Ekranoplan! Captained by Yuri Gagarin of course.)

  15. I’ll join the chorus of wacky imagining is great and all, but this is just kinda dumb even before you get to the engineering impracticalities.

    No one is asking for this, and if they were you should gently and forcefully ask them to stop.

  16. WOW, a flying hotel for the uber-rich to escape the world they’ve rendered uninhabitable! What a fantastic idea! Let’s get them all aboard, tell them@ only 20 billion dollars per person double occupancy inner cabin it’s a bargain! Promise them the moon, then deliver them to it.
    Don’t worry, the pilot and crew bail out as soon as the Tesla based self driving autopilot is engaged.
    What the Heck? It’s all a great fantasy!

  17. I saw someone watching it at work and glanced for a few seconds before asking what boring ass game he was looking at an advertisement for…

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