Good morning! Today we’re sticking in the decade of my formative years, the 1980s. I guess I’m just in that sort of mood; it may be that the soundtrack to my commute for the past few days has been the brilliant ’80s throwback band The Night Flight Orchestra. Seriously, just listen to these guys, and tell me that wasn’t recorded during the Reagan administration. (It wasn’t – 2018.) But we’re not here to talk about music, though I could do that all day too; we’re here to talk about cars.
Yesterday we were talking a little bit about movies, but mostly cars, as we looked at two of the cars featured in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. To my great surprise, despite the wild price disparity, the voting ended up in a virtual tie – just two votes separated the Chrysler Town & Country from the Pontiac Fiero. I imagine if the prices had been closer, the Fiero would have run away with it.
And no, this matchup wasn’t just a clever ploy to get you all to vote for a K-car. That was just a happy coincidence. Personally, I’d love to have either of these, but yeah, I’m not paying eleven grand for a four-cylinder Fiero either.
So let’s take one last look at the ’80s for this week. We’ve got a shabby muscle-ish car and a rather nice yuppie-mobile. They were miles apart in price and demographic back then, but thanks to the magic of depreciation, they’re almost the same price, so we’re going to cross-shop them.
1988 Chevrolet Camaro – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: 2.8 liter overhead valve V6, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: Austin, TX
Odometer reading: 86,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
Here once again is that whipping-boy of 1980s sports coupes: the third-generation Camaro. Dismissed and derided by “serious enthusiasts,” mercilessly thrashed by more than one generation of owners, the “third gen” nevertheless provided style, fun, and surprisingly good handling for a decade. The available power ran the gamut from “does this thing even have an engine?” to “you don’t know what I got.” This 1988 base model is no tire-shredder, with a 135 horsepower V6, but at least it has a stick.
Some engine bays are so tight you can’t reach anything without taking a bunch of stuff apart. This is not one of them. With a 60-degree V6 in a spot designed to hold a 90-degree V8, there’s room on all sides of the engine to get to stuff. The only downside is that it’s a long and wide engine bay, so getting to anything is a long reach. And while the photos in the ad don’t show it, I guarantee that the hood is held open by a length of broomstick, because they all are. The gas cylinders provided to hold up that long heavy hood last about a week.
It runs and drives great, according to the seller, and has only 86,000 miles on it. This is probably the reason that the interior is far less trashed than most third-gens. It is missing some trim, though it looks like some of it is in the trunk, and I think I see a crack in the windshield. I’ve never understood the steering wheel in these Camaros; it’s just so weird-looking. Maybe that’s why so many of them get replaced by aftermarket wheels.
Outside, it’s got some bumps and bruises, but it doesn’t look terrible. I do prefer the earliest iterations of this style Camaro, with no lower body cladding or spoilers, mostly because the cladding is always banged-up on lower-priced examples. You may have noticed that I didn’t include a photo of the rear of the car; that’s because this car wears a bumper sticker that, well, makes a statement. Whether it’s a statement you agree with, or want on the back of your car, I leave up to you to decide.
1987 BMW L7 – $3,650
Engine/drivetrain: 3.4 liter overhead cam inline 6, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: San Marcos, CA
Odometer reading: 188,000 miles
Operational status: “Gets up and goes”
The 1980s was a good decade for BMW. Its cars were “in,” and they were excellent. The classic M30 six-cylinder engine was king – smooth, powerful, and not insanely complicated like BMW engines of today. The styling was all ship’s prows, Hofmeister kinks, and quad round headlights. And the important decisions were still made by the engineers, not the accountants or the marketing department. They were too good for the yuppie bankers and lawyers that bought them as status symbols.
If you don’t remember, or have never heard of, the L7 model, I understand. It was a US-only luxury version of the flagship 7-series, based on the 735i, with the same 3.4 liter engine, though only available with an automatic. This one is in fine mechanical shape, according to the seller, and all the electrical gadgets work.
You could almost say the “L” in L7 stands for “leather.” The entire interior is swathed in it, including the door panels and dash. For some reason, someone decided to cover up this one’s leather dash with one of those dumb carpet covers, hopefully just to keep it out of the San Diego sun. The rest of the interior is in good condition, but could use a good cleaning.
Outside, it’s decent, but not great. The clearcoat is flaking off, and it suffered a minor fender-bender on the left front corner. The fender has been replaced, but it’s still in black primer. A paint job would be in order to really make this car look its best, but for a classic BMW that costs less than four grand, it looks pretty good.
So, they’re both six-cylinders, they’re both rear-wheel-drive, and they both run fine. Basically, it comes down to style. Are you more the hair-metal type, or the wannabe-yuppie type?
(Before I go: I’m going to leave you with just one more song by The Night Flight Orchestra. This one is the second-best music video ever to feature a square-body Ford Panther-chassis car. I’m sure some of you know what the best one is; feel free to enlighten others in the comments.)
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
The ‘Maro can be kept running with visits to the junk yard and Autozone, vs running an at least four-digit line of credit at FCP Euro.
As for engine swaps, I’d rather do something more unique and go with a GNX’ish 3800 Turbo.
Is the best music video to feature a Panther chassis Alanis Morissette’s Ironic? That would be my vote.
Also thanks for the NFO rec, not the first time I bought an album based off the vinyl art…
Alanis Morrisette is never the answer.
AMINTA?
Also (pushes glasses up nose), the Lincoln in Alanis’ video, while fantastic, is pre-Panther.
Huh, you’re right, it’s a 78 and Lincoln didn’t start on Panther until 80. Shucks.
Given what salt & winter do to cars up here in the [not-so] Frozen North, cars of this vintage are like unicorns. And which is the better unicorn? The shiny silver one, of course. Camaro. Hope the tape deck still works.
I have a soft spot for 3rd gens, even poorly specced ones, but I’m going with the BMW. Just glad it’s far, or else I would check it out and (probably) drag it home.
there is sooo much room in that Camero engine bay, what fun! also Thx Mark I had to go look at the add cause you “dared” me to lol
The General made me click that button for the Camaro. Something about an LS swap, subframe connectors and a wrap to hide that dull paint. Keep the mullet wig and trucker hat in the glovebox to go with the sleeveless Chevy/American flag/eagle tee shirt, acid washed cutoff shorts and oil-stained work boots. A “Calvin peeing on Ford logo” shirt is also acceptable. Bonus points for having a bowtie koozie wrapped around a can of something in hand.
A man with no koozie is a poor man indeed. You may quote me on that.
Not everything has to be fast, or in good taste. I could have fun shifting that Camaro, and I’m not a Camaro guy.
Everything changes.
Camaro for me. I’ve always adored the 3rd gen’s autobot style. I’d be resto-modding the crud out of it to get a real sports car.
BMW, please.
I like it, even though “L7” was slang for a “square”, a tragically un-hip person.
The Camaro is just… no.
The seller claims to be moving soon and unable to take the car along, but the pictures appear to be from last fall. In the background of the first mulletmobile pic we see a scary ghost inflatable Halloween decoration: the spectre’s head and one hand are visible above the vehicles in the driveway of the yellow and brown house. Or maybe they leave it up year-round.
Totally irrational bitchin camaro vote today. The BMW is beautiful but I miss my mullet.
The interior in the BMW just looks so inviting and comfortable. And LIGHT with big windows.
Pretty sure even Tony Orlando and Dawn would pick the Bimmer over that Camaro.
Easily the Bimmer. Third gen Camaros are absolute dogs. They’re huge, heavy, underpowered, and I never liked the design personally. Even though you’re stuck with a slusher in the BMW it’ll still make for an elegant, comfortable cruiser. There are many who argue that this era was peak BMW…I’m not necessarily sure that I agree, but from a styling standpoint the late 80s/early 90s were certainly a golden era for the company.
I can analytically acknowledge that the BMW is the better car here. But the simple facts here are that I am a dirtbag who is capable of growing an outrageous mullet, if I were ever given permission to do so by my wife. The second part of that statement will never happen, but still, gimme the Camaro and I’ll go do donuts while I’m saving up for the engine swap it deserves.
I didn’t bother to look at the bumper sticker, but whatever it is, that will come off first.
I used to own a ’91 Camaro with a 3.1 v6 and it was a surprisingly fun car. It handled great, it sounded nice enough thanks to an exhaust mod, and it was also a no-t-top car so it didn’t get puddles in the seats when it rained. I actually miss that Camaro a lot, so this one would be tempting if it was nearby. These are some of the best slow cars to drive fast in existence.
While the Bitchin Camaro is nicer than most I rode in back in the 90s, that L7 is a siren song I can’t ignore. Especially with Bricks Are Heavy blasting through the Blaupunkt.
I am bias as my dad had a v6 Camaro, then we got the z28.
It is in the nice needs work and won’t feel bad about swapping parts.
The bumper sticker is appropriately trashy for a 3rd gen Camaro, exactly what you would expect.
Tough call, assuming the Camaro’s seller’s a bit price-flexible, since my first car was nearly a late-’80s V6 F-body (albeit a rather nicer, granted it was barely half as old at the time, automatic Firebird)… but that BMW’s a proper classic, and even though I know a bit about parts costs and availability, it calls to me.
Also, the poll responses captured both of the songs I had in my head. Well done, Mark!
I voted for the BMW. The last F-body I had I got rid of because I hated getting in and out of it. I don’t expect this one to be any better.
I don’t look forward to adjusting valves, though. Why does a modern car still need that?
Only on this site can a car old enough to be elected president be described as “modern”.
While I am a former F-body owner and fan, in my heart I would rather V8 swap the L7 than the Camaro, so BMW it is.
It depends. On the Camaro does that bumper sticker, umm, come with the car?
Just kidding. That thing’s gross. L7 all the way.
It’s the BMW by a country mile. Even in its less-than-perfect state, it just exudes presence and class.
I’ll go with the BMW today. I do like F-Body cars, but that particular Camaro has no appeal for me.
I’m feeling my inner mullet. Gimme the Camaro, there’s a SBC laying around somewhere that needs a new home.