I’m fully leaving Michigan in mid February, but not before hosting an absolute rager (it’ll be a bunch of car nerds dressed in wrenching clothes in an empty house) at The House of Misfit Jeeps — the abode that jumpstarted my career as a car journalist. I want you, dear Autopian readers, to join me and celebrate. I’ll be giving out free car-stuff.
That’s right: I’m inviting THE GENERAL PUBLIC to Casa Del Jeep in Troy, Michigan. A bold move, I know, but I’ve been hosting car shows for the formerly-Colonel Mr. Public, and have found him mild-mannered. Proof: I have yet to be murdered.
As I hope to keep this streak alive, I won’t be posting my address here publicly. Instead, I’ll ask each of you to email me and describe why it is that you’re unlikely to harvest my organs in your basement. We’ll get to that in a bit, but first — the details:
Who: David Tracy and Autopian readers
What: A junkyard visit followed by a wrenching-themed party at DT’s house
When: Saturday, February 4, 2023. Junkyard visit: 3:00 P.M. Party: 5:30 P.M.
Where: U.S. Auto in Sterling Heights. Then at my house in Troy, Michigan
Why: David is leaving Michigan after 9.5 years. It’s time to celebrate this time, and the friendships forged in the lovely mitten.
How: Show up at U.S. Auto with $1 in cash (entry fee), and come walk around the junkyard with me (pull parts if you like). Thereafter, come to my house dressed in wrenching garb (coveralls if you have them!), park in the driveway or backyard, enter the (empty) shack, see other car nerds, say words to them, listen to them say words, eat free food, get free car-stuff, dance if you want to, and then eventually leave. Or you can crash at the house — it’s an empty shack, after all. Just bring a sleeping bag.
The visit to the junkyard is optional, of course, though it will be awesome. The party at my house, which starts at 5:30, is going to involve music, free food, and some car stuff that I’m going to try to pawn off on you. Not sure that it’s really any good, but I gotta get rid of it.
Bring your cool car, park it in the backyard, and then talk everyone’s ears off about it.
To RSVP to this party, email david@autopian.com, along with the aforementioned description of why you’re unlikely to harvest my organs in your cellar.
“I’m Hosting A Junkyard Tour And Then A Wrenching-Themed ‘Going Away Party’ At My House In Michigan. You’re Invited!”
I fixed your online dating profile caption.
Thank me later.
As the young folks say, “yolo.” I’ve decided to try and go. It’s 7.5 hours and ~475 miles for me. I can take off work the Friday before and come home that Sunday. Might even take off the Monday after to have a “do-nothing” day. Props to having 4 weeks of vacation time.
Won’t be in my Sunbird, as it doesn’t see winter driving (as mentioned). But I can load up the daily driver.
Hey David, I know where you live. I’m close and I have a basement. Sad that I won’t be able to weld on any more of your busted up Jeeps.
For all of you guys talking about real world responsibilities, I ambushed my wife when she walked in from work with “hey I want to fly across the country in two weeks to go to a party with someone I “know” from the internet and I’ve already researched ticket prices, what do you say?”
Life is short, just do it!
Haha talking the wife into it is the easy part, taking work off, and affording the ticket while trying to save up for my own cross country move make it more impractical.
Even if I can’t crash the party/help load something, there’s enough stuff/cars/crap/parts at that yard that I’m looking for that makes it worth the 1000-mile round trip for me that weekend. If there’s not a giant lake-effect snowstorm in SW Michigan that weekend, I’m in for this.
‘Junkyard tour’ is a pretty fancy way for saying ‘wander around my backyard’
I wish I could make it to your house cleaning party. I look forward to pictures and a good write-up!
I look forward to the society page write up.
I will also be there! \m/(>.<)\m/
Now I’m seriously considering going because meeting David and Mercedes would be amazing x 1,000. I also have a really good friend in a suburb of Detroit that is also on this site that’d like to go.
Dang, wondering now if there’s a cheap as hell flight to get into the area…
Before points my flight on American was $329, no frills, 1 Carry on. If you’re in a bigger city might be even less…
For me it came to $73, or roughly what I pay for a tank of gas to go see my college friends an hour and a half away
Woohoo! NOW it’s a party!! 🙂
That is awesome! Will Sheryl be making the trip as well? And will you arrive in tag-team Smarts?
I wish I could come because every party needs a Pontiac Sunbird. But, I refuse to drive mine in the winter. So, instead, you’d likely end up with a Mazda6 with a giant Betty White decal on the passenger rear window.
I’m 7 hours south in western Kentucky. If I was a *bit* closer, I’d be loading up the Mazder and making the drive. Provided I’m approved and not determined to be a serial killer. But how many serial killers have Betty White on their cars?
It’s David’s “See if I can get the readers to help me clean the rest of this mess up before I move because I can’t just leave it like this” party. If you come early you can join him on a “If I bring a bunch of people with me to say my final farewell to the junkyard then maybe I can keep myself from crying in front of the junkyard guy” junkyard tour.
Free food? Not shower spaghetti I hope. In all seriousness, a few years ago I’d be sending you an email proving I’m just a totally normal person with an XJ that’s just a battery from making the trip, but too many responsibilities these days.
No, there had BETTER be shower spaghetti!!
I know you’ve sold/moved/trashed a lot of stuff recently, but just to be clear, does “junkyard” really just mean “front yard”?
(No judgment; those collections are part of why we love you guys and this site.)
(looks at David’s parts stash)
You can’t fool us. Those “car parts” are just Glad bags full of rust!
“what should I wear”
“Oh it don’t matter it’ll just be the two of us”
Man, a party? That is going to piss The Karen(s) off something fierce.
Hmm…that sounds incredibly fun to watch. Perhaps…
“I’ll be giving out free car-stuff.”
I assume this is because the alternative is you having to pack it and move it to LA?
In other words David is basically getting movers for free. A slight risk of getting tetanus though
Can we park on your backyard? We want to say goodbye to the city ordinance of Troy MI lol
Hell yeah!
I like that the standard is “unlikely” rather than “promise not to”.
We’re only human.
[looks out the window] **I think my XJ would make it 1600 miles round trip**
[looks at calendar] February 4… kids… job… adult stuff…
Damn it… I don’t think I’ll make this one.
Same issues here. Kids, job, adult stuff.
Adulting sucks sometimes.
Same, though my Peugeot also most certainly would not make the journey unfortunately. Heck, it can’t make it out of the garage under its own power currently.
David you are delightfully insane! Sounds like a blast
David, for all of us poor jerks not in your approximate geographical area, please live stream this event. I’ll settle for broadcast of the JY tour or Jeep House party, but would be delighted with both. Also, please invite your soon-to-be-ex landlords, they seem like good folks. Plus, they’ll probably bring delicious food.
Hell yeah I’ll invite them!
If this were in your house in LA, it would be a bit more doable for me as a west coaster, but I know you’ll have a turnout!
I don’t have a cellar… That’s my reason…
Same, no basements in Texas.
Ditto. It would have to be someone else’s basement, as I’m getting to be too old for doing stuff like this in the confines of my crawlspace.
Actually we do have some in Texas, they are just called storm shelters. Since they don’t have windows, they are even better than traditional Yankee basements with transom windows when it comes to carving up bodies.
You’re in!
To be clear:
It’s specifically the basement/cellar part that you object to?
Well, shit, if the alternative is never seeing you again, I suppose I should try to make the long drive,
How far is it for you?
It’s about 4.5 hours, not terrible, but I hate interstates (and NVH in my Wrangler is unpleasant). Decided I’ll grab a room about halfway there.