I’m supposed to be moving from metro Detroit to LA at some point, but I’m buried in cars, many of which don’t move under their own power. For this reason, I’m writing this article appealing to you, dear readers, in an effort to get someone to buy this 1959 Edsel Ranger before I do. Because I am impulsive and lack restraint, but that’s not the main issues here. The main issue is: This Edsel is too perfect. Check it out.
I’ve always loved Edsels. They’re the perfect blend of quirky and classy, and — because of their rather unfortunate reception back in the 1950s (which led to a quick demise) — I see them as underdogs. They spent far too many years not receiving the love they deserve, and I want to make up for that. But maybe now, shortly before I’m supposed to be moving to LA, isn’t the ideal time. Or maybe it is? I mean, think about how much stuff I could cram into this 1959 Edsel Ranger:
I know, I know — those of you from out west are screaming at your monitor, frantically banging at your keyboards to write something to the effect of “Dude, don’t buy a rustbucket when there are so many Fe2O3-less cars here! You fool!’
But come on; this rust isn’t even that bad — rear quarter panels are almost entirely intact!
The wheels are not the right ones for this machine, there’s obviously a decent amount of brown on the outside (and I bet the underside looks like the present-day Titanic), but look at how nice the chrome looks! Plus, the glass is in good shape and the $3,500 asking price is more than reasonable!
I can just imagine driving this thing down Ventura Boulevard with all my stuff crammed into it, the suspension resting on its bump stops making the car look like the baddest low-rider in town. Oh yes — I need to buy this car.
Unfortunately the engine, which I assume is a 292 cubic-inch V8, is backed by an automatic transmission. But honestly, if there’s any vehicle for which I’d make an exception to my “no automatics” personal rule of vehicular purchasing, it’s a classy machine like this Edsel. It’s a quirky chrome yacht, and it’s about to create a tidal wave that tips over the precarious canoe that is my wallet, spilling 35 $100 bills into the owner’s hands.
Hell, I bet he’d take $3,000.
[Bites knuckle]
Images: Edsel and Facebook Marketplace/Eric Lindemeier
David, run away from that Edsel immediately. It’s rusty and a moredoor. There will be so much rust free stuff in California, you’ll never look at potential in a rusty car again.
This is DT, we are talking about here. He will be the only person that moves west and bitches about the lack of rusty metal out there.
“…the $3,500 asking price is more than reasonable!”
Yes. Yes it is more than reasonable.
As for clearing out your backlog of vehicles, I think you’re at the point where provenance is on your side. Bidder whispers to bidder, “It’s a David Tracy!” They’ll be fighting each other for the chance to own one.
Devil on your shoulder, here: Do it! You know you want it. I’m sure it has some kind of option that qualifies it for “Holy Grail” status or something. Also, people are looking at this whole rust thing wrong. People out west pay a lot of money making their old cars look weathered, but this is the real thing! You can quit any time you want.
You lost me at “I’m moving to L.A.” I recommend you watch the Futurama episode “The Cryonic Woman” first. It’s spot-on.
For a survivor we know it is good and you would probably buy it.
While an automatic, it is the quirky at the time kind.
That looks like a 24 hrs of Lemons exception to me…
I’m gonna be the irresponsible one here:
If it feels good, do it David!
Don’t. Just don’t.
Counterpoint: DO IT!
Some people believe that the FE series motor stands for Ford Edsel. a 390, 427 or 428 from that series would fit nicely in this Edsel.
Edsels are about the cheapest classics you can buy, and a surprising number survive. Here is a much bette looking body for less https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/1191309908311038/
I hate to say anything enabling, but compared to the rest of your fleet, this is the correct ride for LA. Go see Neil Young. He can probably help you get an EV drivetrain in there.
At this point in the Fall, I’d wager he’ll take $2500 just to not have to deal with the winter hassle of having that around.
If he does, and you but it in an attempt to float this land yacht out to LA, I’ll personally send $100 contribution!
*buy it in an attempt…
(I’ll throw in another $50 if we can start editing our posts by then)
I wish I could help you…Edsel’s got a bad rap just because of the grille (We all know all the names for it) and because it was a flop mainly because of the recession after it came out. I don’t like seeing it on “worst car” lists because of that since it’s not even a “bad” car. They look good and would love one someday since they are unique
Ford also bungled the launch – the brand was supposed to slot in between Ford and Mercury, but, at the last minute, they added the bigger Corsair and Citation to slot between Mercury and Lincoln, and it was the bigger/more expensive models that hit showrooms first. Buyers had trouble figuring out where the brand was supposed to sit in the hierarchy, since it was pulled in two directions, and also got sticker shock and ran away.
All the advance, blurry, teaser ads didn’t help, either. Ford over-hyped it so much that folks were expecting some amazing, tech-laden car of the future that would make everything else obsolete, and, what they got, was a pretty standard FoMoCo corporate product with a couple of neat accessories added and some unusual styling
Every time an Edsel comes up, I feel required to name drop Miss Ethyl. Go Google it. 58 Edsel wagon that is a near perfect custom and laughs in tge face of anyone who says Edsels can’t be cool. Go look….
For whatever unknown reason, the wagons looked the best of all. Relatively speaking that is. Anyway, I certainly I like ’em.
Side note, just learned that Floyd Dutton, who made Miss Ethyl, also made the Edselero. A Ranchero custom with an Edsel nose. I’ve seen it in the past and never realized both were made by the same guy. Makes sense!
We have a special term for cars in that condition here on the west coast: “Parts car.”
Besides, you have a perfectly good Nash Metropolitan project waiting for you in LA. It’s not rusty, and it’ll get double the gas mileage that an Edsel will. What you should be doing is talking to this guy, seeing if he has a decent ’67-74 MGB with dual SU carbs and a 4 speed with overdrive. Drop that engine/trans into the Nash after spending a few hundred at Moss Motors for seals and such, then take the MGB shell to a British car show and sell it as a project car for $1000.
https://palmsprings.craigslist.org/pts/d/yucca-valley-200-collector-cars-for/7535335751.html
After that, if you want a V8 cruiser (which would be fantastic, you’re right), we can find you something better than three-fourths of an Edsel.
I think it’s already on it’s bump stops.
If I buy that thing, my wife is going to make me sleep in it. Sorry junkie, you’re going to have to kick this habit on your own.
Start selling vehicles, not buying them, you foo!!!
Why is it already loaded on a trailer David….David? You there? Get out from under that Edsel and talk to us!
Also Cactus updates please.
What happened in Australia? Where is the write up in the valiant ute?
This! Don’t leave us hanging about Cactus! Write the story dammit!
As the cool kids say, it’s getting fixed in post right now.
Note that I’m not cool, not a kid, nor do I have any actual knowledge whatsoever about the cactus story, so this post is providing purely for entertainment purposes, or really, a lack thereof.
The next update is coming next week! I recorded the whole thing, so video editing is taking a bit of time. Thank you for hanging in there!
See, I told you all it was in post. Lol!
Sir: drop the rustbuckets and come out here. I don’t see any Edsels for sale in the immediate area at this very moment, but STOP LOOKING OUT THERE WHERE RUSTFREE EXAMPLES DON’T EXIST.
’59 Edsel Ranger you want? Right now, fewer than 400 miles away, in Wikieup AZ, is what you want. A mere $4200, and NOT LOADED WITH CANCER! https://mohave.craigslist.org/cto/d/wikieup-1959-edsel-ranger/7536805701.html
Come out here before you look at anything else. I promise you, the good stuff is out West, there are millions of them, and good examples go on sale every dang week.
Kick the rust habit already! It’s so unnecessary!
Holy crap. If I can expect to see deals like this…and Beau has given me access to his vast dealership parking spots… It’s possible my “problem” could get worse!
You can expect to see deals like this (and better!), and apparently Beau is in very deep trouble.
David starts filling up Beau’s parking lot. Then Mercedes decides to move out west and add even more vehicles. Then David, Mercedes and Sheryl move into together and we have the 21st century version of Three’s Company. Featuring Torch as Mr. Furley.
I’d watch that!
You are in trouble. Rust free classics (and rust free shitboxes) are everywhere in California.
A quick Craigslist search of California with a max year of 1980 and max price of $3k results in ~500 vehicles in better condition than anything in your fleet. Many are generic boring vans/pickups, but there are some interesting ones like a 1950 Studebaker pickup or 1949 Plymouth Coupe.
https://sacramento.craigslist.org/cto/d/sacramento-1950-studenaker-pick-up/7544588633.html
https://inlandempire.craigslist.org/cto/d/perris-1949-plymouth-2dr-biz-coupe/7544519292.html
It is nice and should be rescued from the pics it looks pretty solid to my road salted eyes.
You can make one of those, “Will it drive 3,000 miles?” YouTube videos.
The mechanical stuff that might die in transit can likely be fixed en route.
And you will arrive in LA as the “King of Rust”, few will have seen such a thing.
“But come on; this rust isn’t even that bad …”
You sound like an alcoholic trying to convince a bartender to serve you another drink.
I do love Edsels. I think they were a bit before their time. Add that to debuting in an economic downturn, and it just didn’t have a chance to succeed. I would love the chance to have one if I had a place for it.
As for you, Mr. Tracy: NO! If you’ve really decided to pull the trigger on this move to LA, then you need to stop weighing yourself down with more vehicles.
Save it for when you’re on the west coast, brother.
“This Edsel is too perfect.”
I don’t think that word means what you think it means.
Cool car though.
To borrow from the great Oda Mae aka Whoopi Goldberg
“David, you in danger guy”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxBfukKmATo