I’m pro-big ass bumpers. There, I said it. I don’t even mind that they can look clunky or inelegant, because I appreciate what they do, and what they do is make driving more forgiving, taking abuse selflessly, and protecting the tender painted bodywork of the car. That’s why I think they can be beautiful even if they look like chrome-and-black-rubber diving boards. Back in the 1970s, when America’s car ends were protected by stout, brave 5 mph bumpers, many European and Asian automakers had to come up with special US market-compliant bumpers that dwarfed the original designs. One company, though, took a bold, novel approach to meeting American bumper standards. One that didn’t lose the beauty of their original bumper design, because they never replaced the original bumper design. It was still there, on the back of the car, like always! It’s just that now it had an entire other bumper on top of it. That company was Renault, and the cars they did this on were the Renault 15 and 17.
I’m fairly certain this is the only time I can think of that a mass-market automaker has literally solved the 5mph bumper problem by slapping an entire bumper onto a bumper. Sure, plenty of cars had massive bumper supplements added, often in the form of huge, dense, black rubber bricks, and with those in mind, I can’t even say that Renault’s approach was so much worse, aesthetically. Here, let’s take a look at what the car looked like as originally designed, for non-US markets. First, the front:
As you can see, the front bumper is formed by the chrome surround of the grille, quite similar to what Chrysler was doing in the early 1970s. The lower half of the surround has additional rubber and some rubber bumper guards, but it’s pretty minimal, bumper-wise. There’s more going on at the rear:
That’s a good-sized bumper! Sure, it forms the whole lower section of the rear bodywork, but it has those corrugated rubber panels and doesn’t appear to be especially flimsy. However, it is inset very close to the rest of the bodywork, and clearly wouldn’t meet America’s stringent 5 mph bumper specs. So, here’s what the American versions looked like, starting with the front, again:
See? That’s a whole bumper on there. A whole, new chrome bumper, complete with new turn indicators and rubber end caps. If we can call the minimal setup of the original a bumper, this is definitely a bumper over that bumper. The back is even more dramatic:
That bumper has a bumper on it. The original chrome bumper is still very much in place, though the rubber seems to have lost its grooves, but we still have it all there, providing a warm and welcoming home to a pair of reflectors and the license plate. And, in front of the lower part, we have an entire bumper, all chrome and rubber capped, ready to protect the safety of the bumper behind it, which, in turn, protects the rear of the car.
It’s like instead of designing a new bumper for the Renault 15 and 17, they just decided to hire the bumpers assistants. I can almost picture a team of Renault designers and engineers, smoking like chimneys and brandishing baguettes, resplendent in their striped shirts and berets, calculating the costs of new 5 mph bumper designs for the 15 and 17.
At some point, amid all of the gripings and lamenting about costs, through the smoke a lone voice piping up and saying “Et si nous collions juste un autre pare-chocs sur les pare-chocs?” and then everyone one is all oui, oui, let’s just slap on a couple of other bumpers! They look pretty close to the ones they were putting on the Renault 12, perhaps they wrenched a set off some office worker’s car in the parking lot and tried them out, realizing, hey, this may just be good enough!
I’m pretty sure these were right off the Renault 12; they sure look close:
And, the truth is, I think they were right! Those bumpers-on=bumpers don’t really look all that bad! I mean, if you weren’t familiar with the original European market car, would you have even thought this was that weird if you saw it on the street? (or in this case, on a foggy beach or large reading-field):
I don’t think you’d find it strange at all. I mean, even when they were selling these in America, they were never common, so the odds of you seeing one and thinking about this were likely pretty low, but still, you see what I mean. For a car that essentially has four bumpers, it just doesn’t look that confusing. I think Renault pulled it off.
You know what else was cool about these cars? In keeping with longstanding Renault traditions, you could get the Renault 17 (in TL or sporty Gordini variants) with a canvas sunroof. The difference here was that unlike a car like the Renault 5/Le Car’s canvas roof, the R17 came with a fiberglass cover that could cover the whole thing:
Look how clever that is! It’s like all the benefits of a Targa-type removable roof but with the ability to quickly close the roof when needed, like a canvas sunroof! You get easy, on-the-fly opening and closing and the option of better sealing for winter or to stave off the inevitable leaks that come with a canvas sunroof. It’s clever as hell!
So, there you go. Now you know the only car that ever was built and sold with bumpers on its bumpers. I’ll leave it to you to make your own Xzibit meme about it.
I miss my R17 Gordini. It was the perfect car.
Had to get rid of it when even the dealer couldn’t get replacement parts for it.
I think the inspiration came rather from a lady’s bra… Her name was probably Zoe…
So I hear you like bumpers.. 😀
Came here for this reference.
Left happy.
“engineers, smoking like chimneys and brandishing baguettes, resplendent in their striped shirts and berets”
Come on Jason, you’re better than this. These cliches have been done over and over again. You’re the weird one here! You’re supposed to dazzle us with unexpected digressions and weird metaphors and musings in your articles!
Feel free to contact me to update your French cliche game, David has my email.
Manuel
French here, sorry but that over the top cliché make me laugh more than it should
Maybe but there’s so much more potential for jokes here! How about they were on strike the day they were supposed to design the bumper? Or busy shagging the neighbor’s wife? Or feeling iffy from the red wine at the cafeteria (which was very much a thing the the ’70s)?!
I DEMAND TO BE INSULTED IN AN ORIGINAL WAY!
I fart in your general direction French man.
That picture of the Renault 12, specifically the license plate…”139 – F@KN NEW YORK” sounds like a reaction after lifting a parking ticket off the windshield.
Yo Dawg, I heard you like bumpers so we put bumpers on your bumpers.
*Insert Xzibit Meme*
Definitely read that first sentence as “big ass-bumpers.”
https://xkcd.com/37/
Sadly, the effectiveness of bumpers has been in decline for decades, as illustrated by Jason’s surprisingly deep dive into Rivian’s $42k repair. It’s not for lack of proven material engineering, but lack of testing, and penny shaving cost cutting. My predecessor prototyped the bumper core for the Viper in 1990, and also mocked up a version that would withstand 15mph impact. There was no interest in exceeding requirements. I’ve been out of the industry for 20 years, and was only actively prototyping bumper cores for my first of seven years there. The head of market development and I were going after interior applications for EPP, and we supplied three sets of interiors (IP, door cards,center console,headliner,package shelf) for the Precept for the 2000 auto show. The idea being, any interior surface that you may come in contact with in an accident should absorb energy, We did get the Shelby Series One door cards, to no one’s financial benefit. I’m certain that the 5mph mandate has not been rescinded, disheartened to hear testing has.
They dialed back the mandate to 2.5 MPH back in the late 80s.
It’s possible that there was a dialed back period after shock mounted bumpers were proven to lock up with an angled hit, and there was a scramble for an alternative.
I am pretty sure everyone thought the Renaults looked weird before they attached the 2nd bumper. Because well they did.
So the car that came with a roof on its roof had bumpers on its bumpers?
This is what happens when you allow wine in the board room.
Jason must be related to Tommy, the Pinball Wizard. He was always “feeling all the bumpers,” too.
He sits like a statue
Becomes part of the machine
Needing all the bumpers
To keep his undercarriage clean
He drives by intuition
And pedestrians fall
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Drives like he knows fuck-all
I agree with the blind part.
Bumper-on-bumper is what looks like is happening on the N.A. 1980 MB 450SL. Is it not? Or is that just a different g-i-a-n-t bumper?
Euro:
http://img.classifieds.classicandsportscar.com.s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/Fullsize/mercedes-benz/450sl/mercedes-benz-450sl-S3775526-1.jpg
N.A.:
https://www.leftcoastclassics.com/1980-mercedes-benz-450sl/1980-mercedes-benz-450sl-001.jpg
Did they actually sell any of these Renaults in the USA? I’m 54 years old, and I can honestly say that I have zero recollection of seeing these cars as a wee lad growing up in Cincinnati. There were plenty of other oddball Euro cars – I myself owned a well-used Lancia Beta Coupe in 1987 – but I don’t recall seeing Renaults in the 70’s and 80’s other than LeCars, 18i, Sportwagons, Alliances and the sort.
My dad had Renault 17 Gordini.
You don’t see them because they were horrible cars with endless problems.
My dad sold his after a couple years and bought a first gen BWM 320i.
I owned a Renault 12, one of a handful sold in the US.
Sruprisingly they did not hurt the looks nearly as bad as say the Matador Coupe.
In my recollection, in the period between the Dauphine (which was once a close Beetle competitor) and the 5/LeCar, Renault was pretty much dead in the water. (I’m talking about US sales here).
It’s hardly surprising that they half-posteriored their bumper efforts. I’m not finding anything reliable in terms of importation figures, but I bet Renault wasn’t selling significantly more than 30,000 units per year in the US in this era.
As usual, the half-arsed French way of doing things is still more elegant and effective than the half-arsed English way. I’m looking at you, MG.
In a way this reminds me of the bumper-protector accessories that you see, some of which look like a poop-filled diaper.
To be fair, MG’s was originally designed to be painted body color, but they had trouble getting the paint to adhere properly and just said screw it, leave it black (as opposed to GM, who was perfectly fine to just let the paint flake off Pontiac’s Endura bumpers, customer’s problem).
The later RV8, F, and TF models all had frontal styling inspired by the polyurethane nosed B, so clearly they were happy with the general design of it. Even the XPower SV maybe had a little inspiration, with the split grille.
A whole article about auxiliary bumpers—and not one mention of canned hams.
I am disappoint.