Good morning, and welcome back to Shitbox Showdown! On today’s menu are two Ford Escorts that both need to be, um, escorted from their current locations by a tow truck. The good news is they’re both cheap enough to be worth a little work. Which one is a better fixer-upper opportunity will be up to you.
We ended last week’s weirdness with a four-way battle, and it was clear from the comments that the Studebaker was going to cruise to an easy win. Old trucks, man. You just can’t beat ’em.
But I think I’d pick the Fiero, if I had my choice. I already have an old truck, which, while it isn’t as cool as that Studebaker, has won me over time and time again. I have never, however, owned a Pontiac Fiero, as much as I’ve always admired them, unless you count the 1/25 scale MPC model kit on my shelf.
This week, to counteract the bizarre cars from last week, I’m picking more ordinary cars, but keeping the asking prices down. This, of course, means that some of them will be broken to some degree or other. Such is the case with today’s pair of low-mileage Ford Escorts: one won’t go, and the other won’t stop. But both should be relatively easy fixes. Let’s check them out.
1986 Ford Escort LX – $1,200
Engine/drivetrain: 1.9-liter overhead cam inline 4, three-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Coryton, TN
Odometer reading: 51,000 miles
Operational status: Cranks over but won’t start; seller suspects ignition problem
Ford kept the Escort from us here in America for two very cool rear-wheel-drive generations before we finally got this watered-down version in 1981. It looks a lot like the European third-generation Escort, but it shares almost no parts except the basic engine design – Ford’s CVH four-cylinder. Ford offered two sizes of this engine in the American Escort: 1.6 and 1.9 liters. The 1.6 was long gone by the time this 1989 model was built; it never was enough oomph for the Escort, especially with an automatic transmission.
Its odometer reads a scant 51,000 miles, though there’s no way of knowing whether or not it has rolled over. I tend to doubt it; it looks too clean for 151,000 miles. The seller says it ran and drove well until recently, but now it won’t start, due to a lack of spark. Instead of digging into the problem, they’re unloading it cheap. Yes – $1,200 for a non-starting but otherwise clean car is cheap these days.
And it really is clean; I don’t think anyone has ever sat in the back seat. That’s typical of a commuter-type car like this, though – only the driver’s seat ever really gets used. I’ve even had small four-door cars where the rear door hinges were nearly seized and opened only reluctantly.
The photos in the ad are pretty terrible, but from what I can see, it’s clean outside as well. These old Escorts had a lot of faults, but they never did seem to rust too badly. And it shouldn’t take much to get it running again; a quick peek at RockAuto shows that you could throw parts at the ignition system until something works, and not spend more than a couple hundred bucks.
1995 Ford Escort LX Wagon – $1,300
Engine/drivetrain: 1.9-liter overhead cam inline 4, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Boradview Heights, OH
Odometer reading: 55,000 miles
Operational status: Runs, but has no rear brakes
Fast-forward a few years, and our Escort had drifted even further from the European model. Starting in 1991, the Escort was based on Mazda’s BG platform, but the CVH engine remained. It gained sequential multi-port fuel injection, and drove the front wheels through a Mazda four-speed automatic instead of the old Ford ATX three-speeder.
These cars were not exciting to drive, but damn, did they get good mileage. I had a ’93 Escort hatchback with the CVH and an automatic for a couple of years, and it hit damn near 40 MPG on highway trips. I’ve heard the five-speed manual version did even better. This one runs great, according to the seller, and would be roadworthy, if not for a leaking brake line to the rear.
It’s a little banged up here and there, but considering the price, who cares? And again, it’s not a rust-prone car, unlike its Mazda-badged platform-mates. This is the body style you want, too; my hatchback could hold a lot of stuff, but these wagons were gigantic inside.
The biggest drawback to this era of Escort is those damned motorized seat belts. Every single one of them had ’em, even the 1995-96 models which came with a driver’s side airbag. You get used to them after a while, kind of, but they never stop being annoying.
Yes, you could just spend a little more and get a car that’s ready to go. And tomorrow, I’ll show you a couple. But for today, you have to choose: Replace some cheap ignition parts, or replace a blown brake line and bleed the system?
(Image credits: Facebook Marketplace sellers)