How do you advertise a pickup truck? You could talk about its towing capability, or the utility of the bed. Maybe you mention the well-appointed interior. Or, if you’re Isuzu’s UK arm, you could announce, loud and proud to the world, that your pickup truck is the perfect place to get down and dirty this Valentine’s Day.
Surely, we’ve misinterpreted, right? But, no. Isuzu really did go for it this year. “D-MAX and Chill” says the Japanese automaker, suggesting its mid-sized pickup is the perfect flimsy excuse to bone.
On the surface of it, Isuzu is just pitching its idea of a lovely Valentine’s Day date. It’s published a ten-step guide for a “perfect picnic,” which could be a great boon to an inexperienced D-Max owner working on their love game. But Isuzu isn’t coy, either. They know what you really want to do when the sun goes down.
Some of the tips are pretty basic, like Isuzu suggesting you pick a D-Max as your ride so you don’t get stranded in something unreliable. It also touts the benefits of the truck’s optional fridge and ample storage space. Sure, okay. But others are more suggestive. Like Step 3:
Comfort is Key: Lay out a cosy blanket and cushions in the bed of your D-Max for a comfortable seating arrangement. The spacious cargo area provides the perfect setup for an intimate and relaxing experience.
We all love a good intimate experience, indeed. Then there’s step 6, wherein Isuzu recommends setting the mood with a little musical accompaniment Don’t worry—they’ve curated a playlist, too. Tracks like Let’s Get It On and Sexual Healing don’t leave much room for ambiguity, while Thank You For Loving Me is a nice way to show some gratitude to your date.
Fair warning, though, I’d go over this with a fine-toothed comb before any planned lovemaking, in your Isuzu or otherwise. The upbeat goofy tones of The Monkees playing I’m a Believer can jolt one out of the most tender, intimate moments, particularly if you’re suffering from a recent rewatch of Shrek. Yes, I’m fully aware that the movie used a cover by Smash Mouth, and yes, on Valentine’s Day, you’re probably trying to smash mouth as much as possible. But I’d personally rule out any song from an ogre film when I’m shooting for romance.
Isuzu is also asking you to capture the moment, sharing your “romantic moments” with the brand on social media. All I’d say to Isuzu’s team is that you should be careful what you wish for.
It bears noting that Isuzu has form in this area, too. Today, it has the D-Max, clearly the perfect name for a pickup in a Valentine’s Day campaign. Jump back a ways, though, and Isuzu was also the manufacturer behind the Chevrolet LUV, affectionately known as the “Love Truck.”
If you’re wondering where this new sexy marketing thrust comes from, it’s been signed off by none other than George Wallis, Isuzu’s UK head of marketing. “It’s not just a vehicle; it’s a love chariot that drives ordinary dates into off-road adventures,” said Wallis in the press release. “Whether you’re navigating city streets or off-the-beaten-path, our pick-up promises to carry both the weight of your affection and loads of excitement. Love is an adventure, and with the Isuzu D-Max, every journey ensures your love life will pick up.”
There’s plenty to chuckle at there, because hey—we’ve all dealt with loads of excitement on Valentine’s Day. But furthermore, it seems bold to state that every journey in an Isuzu D-Max “ensures” your love life will improve. If that were the case, you’d think hard up singles would just be dailying D-Maxes in an attempt to wed before the next harvest moon. You could take a great marriage and turn into an exceptional one with a couple of road trips.
Indeed, if we assume the more journeys you take, the more your love live picks up, the D-Max could indeed be dangerous. Drive it too much and you might find yourself subject to all kinds of chafing problems.
I kid, but Isuzu is kind of doing a public service here. A step-by-step guide for a nice date is something that many of us could have used at one time or another [Ed note: We are not calling out anyone in particular, here. – MH]. Plus, their points are valid—the D-Max is a great vehicle for getting away to somewhere picturesque and quiet. Furthermore, their idea to deck out your pickup bed with pillows and fairy lights is a very cute one. We’d rule out the candles, though. It only takes one clumsy attempt at a cuddle to knock one over and suddenly you’re covered in wax and your date is on fire.
Tip of the hat to Isuzu for being bold enough to show some cheek this Valentine’s Day. Maybe it’s time to rent a D-Max and do a bit of the same. Have a ball out there, lovebirds, and hose out the tray when you’re done, yeah?
Image credits: Isuzu
In case you hadn’t noticed, the above bolded statement makes up approximately 169% of all country music lyrics from past several decades
A better slogan: “Everything you need in a partner: tight curves, a responsive stick, and an easily accessible rear.”
Also that playlist is.. not great. Here’s my “It’s not that I like you or anything Mix” in case anyone needs it.
1) I Know A Place-MUNA
2) Stay-Zedd
3) Bow Down – Chvrches
4) Be Sweet – Japanese Breakfast
5) Together Again – Janet Jackson
6) First Time – Carly Rae Jepsen
7) Levitating – Dua Lipa
8) Growing Up – The Linda Lindas
9) All You Wanted – Michelle Branch
10) Kind and Generous – Natalie Merchant
11) Long Long Time – Linda Ronstadt
They should advertise it on BBC America.
Theoretically, yes. Practically I see two main issues here:
A – the only version of the D-Max I could comfortably lie down in, to stargaze
or, you know, do other things is the single cab. That double cab one has a
max loading length of less than 1.5 meters, so there would have to be some
amount of yoga and/or advanced kama sutra skills involved.
B – It’s the middle of february and there is only so much you can do by sharing
body heat before somebody gets cold feet.
But, if you’re a very small couple living in a tropical or subtropical climate, I hope you enjoy maxing that D.
Dog-related marketing campaigns:
“on Valentine’s Day, you’re probably trying to smash mouth as much as possible” Oh my
I don’t blame that marketing guy for this campaign. When corporate hands you a D-Max, you gotta maximize the D.
Too bad that truck is so ugly; it’s like birth control.
Mazda make an attractive version of it just for you!
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2d/2021_Mazda_BT-50_Hi-Racer_Double-Cab_1.9_SP.jpg/2560px-2021_Mazda_BT-50_Hi-Racer_Double-Cab_1.9_SP.jpg
Attractive being relative to other pick-ups, of course.
This feels about one step removed from the Jaguar ad in Crazy People.
Link.
I’ll never get sick of saying I LUV the Chevy LUV! I LUVED the article last year on the LUV too. Happy V-Day!
D-Max. Is that a man-boosting product by ForceFactor?
Can I get a free bottle if I text FIRM to 242242?
Will they throw in a bottle of Inferno fat incinerator?
You’re not a real man unless you sign up for that $250 / month of boner lozenges and creatine.
It is a pickup truck, after all.
Does the bed have tiedowns? Asking for a friend.
Outstanding.
You need tie downs. With that crude suspension it’s gonna be rough riding back there.
COTD contender.
“It’s not just a vehicle; it’s a love chariot that drives ordinary dates into off-road adventures…Whether you’re navigating city streets or off-the-beaten-path, our pick-up promises to carry both the weight of your affection and loads of excitement. Love is an adventure, and with the Isuzu D-Max, every journey ensures your love life will pick up.”
I see Joe Isuzu is still on the payroll.
This isn’t his first Rodeo. He is a true Hombre among men, an Oasis of manliness in a world gone wimpy, and his Trooper is her new Amigo.
She gave in to Impulse on the Piazza before he could even Aska. He moved to Ascender. “Faster!” she said.
He restrained his Impulse by trying to work VehiCROSS into the story….
Just like the old Axiom: it’s not the size of the Stylus, it’s how Lotus handles it.
You’ll never get D-Max in a 4.5 foot bed.
Yeah, what is this, a half-
chubton pickup anyway?It’s not the size of your box that matters, it’s how you stuff it.
That could be part of the marketing.
“The Isuzu D-Max: for men who don’t need to buy a giant pickup to compensate.”
“Ask your doctor if D-Max is right for you.”
Kind of a shame Dodge/Ram never adopted the “I’d rather be Cummin than ‘Strokin” sticker ad campaign so vigorously espoused by their customers.
If there was ever a company that would have embraced risqué bumper stickers, you would think it would be Dodge. “Dodge the father, Ram the daughter”.
Saw one once “She prefers my slow Powerstroke to your fast Cummins”